Saw this from a friend and ɨ just dont want to be selfish
35 STUPID QUOTES THAT MAKES MAD SENSE!!!
1. Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain (dodo)
without tasting any – Albert Einstein (1872).
2. He who says nothing last forever has never tried Hausa
perfume – Isaac Newton (1904).
3. He who fully unwraps shawarma or gala completely before
eating it cannot keep a secret – Abraham
Lincoln (1864).
4. Anyone anywhere in the World that counts money from an
ATM machine is probably a Nigerian – Charles Soludo (2008).
5. Any man that uses his teeth to cut shaki from pepper-soup
with his eyes wide open is not afraid of anything – Martin
Luther King Jnr (1942).
6. Anyone that can kill a chicken by cutting its throat without
feeling sorry for it is capable of joining Boko Haram – Buhari
(2012).
7. Anyone who thinks he has many enemies has never been with
a mountain of fire member – William Shakespeare (1788).
8. Anyone that says someone is ugly has not seen them in an
AC
tight, gbedu pumping Range Rover Sport – Oprah Winfrey
(2004).
9. Any lady that doesn’t ask “where did you get my pin from?”
when you add her is looking for a husband – Steve Jobs
(2010).
10. Any man that can go to a wedding reception when he is
fasting and doesn’t eat is worthy of collecting a loan without
collateral – Olusegun Obasanjo (2012).
11. Anyone that says money cannot buy happiness is probably
not rich – Aliko Dangote (2014).
12. He who ask for stew on top of jollof rice has trust issues –
Alexander the Great (1709).
13. He who refuses to classify Agege bread and Akara as a type
of sandwich is a racist – Martin Luther king Jnr (1931).
14. Any man who drinks Alomo Bitters without squeezing his
face, is capable of murder – Michael Faraday (1899).
15. Anyone that can shit without squeezing his face is not
feeling fine – Bill Clinton (1994).
16. Anyone that didn’t use Cabin biscuits, Limca and Coke to do
birthday was probably born after Abacha died – Dele Giwa
(1997).
17. Drinking garri doesn’t mean you’re poor, but allowing the
garri to swell-up before drinking is Poverty- Queen Elisabeth
(1893).
18. He who runs around looking for scissors to cut indomie
seasoning sachets is not yet hungry -Sir Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe
(1947).
19. You claim you share everything in love but no matter how
much you love someone, you can never share their toothbrush
–
Pastor Chris (2001).
20. Saying a girl hasn’t experienced heartbreak is like saying a
car has never had a flat tire. Its possible but very unlikely –
Yakubu Gowon (1965).
21. A woman who rejects a man with vision and follows a man
with television will soon watch the man with vision on her
television – Babatunde Fashola (2013).
22. A man who marries a woman only because of her beauty
would soon realize that beauty without brain is like a Bentley
without fuel. It doesn’t work. Lord Lugard (1904).
23. A bad attitude is like a flat tire. It won’t take you far –
Herbert Macauley (1935).
24. A woman who is not afraid of rat or cockroach is capable of
witchcraft – Namadi Sambo (2011).
25. Love is like cutting onions, it will always bring tears to your
eyes either tears of joy or tears of heartbreak – Dr. Phil (2002).
26. To whom brain is given, sense is expected – Bill Gates
(2000).
27. A woman that claims all men are dogs should tell us what
breed her father is – Lamido Sanusi (1999).
28. He who claims he can’t pray to God because he is a sinner
is
like a man that doesn’t want to have his bath because he’s
dirty
– Pope John Paul (1990).
29. No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook yam –
Goodluck Jonathan (2014).
30. The woman that will tell me she is on her period after eating
my suya, shawarma, beer and pizza has not yet been born –
Jim
Iyke (2002).
31. Anyone that didn’t cut grass while in school is definitely an
ajebutter child – Stephanie Okereke (2013).
32. My beautiful, hot, expensive to maintain girlfriend sneezes
in public and one man tells her “bless you”. Hey, she’s already
blessed dating me, mind your business – Mike Adenuga (2003).
33. Any man that dates a girl with big boobs and doesn’t
squeeze it can be trusted with money – Michael Jackson
(1980).
34. Don’t borrow out money you can’t dash out. Because these
days to lend money is human but to get it back is divine – Mr.
Ibu (2012).
35. Anyone that reads this without laughing, that person is
looking for a job – Lord Imapraz (1914).

true.. sarcasm.. i love this

Lmao...

Barcanista
Lala
Seun

alone on my bed, i laughed until my nebor had to run in to find out what it was.