The truth remains that we marry for so many reasons but chief among these reasons is companionship.Most people men and women inclusive will agree that the need to share emotional warmth, rub minds together and enjoy each others company is critical in a marital relationship. From the Christian perspective marriage is basically a physical union of two souls. Main aim is to unify vision and mission helping each other throughout life. Having children is an additional blessing in marriage.
In view of the prevailing situation in our society, where it is almost becoming fashionable to denigerate this once sacred institution, it has become imperative to look at two of the critical building blocks for a deep genuine marital relationship.
Honesty and Openness:
No genuine marriage can be successfully without trust! That is having confidence in your spouse. This situation can only come to be when a spouse has demonstrated absolute honesty. Withholding information from your spouse in the fear that the will think less of you or disrespect you is actually counter productive. Most people will rather respect and honor you for confiding in them. Eventually, all hidden things will be exposed! Why don't you give your spouse that confidence by being true to him, her....to be continued.

.This man no go kill person!

With all due respect @ o.p, I don't think this thread was necessary, though I understand the need for it

From the other thread, it's become quite clear that peeps seem to be more interested in staying together rather than living together.
Marriage has become an institution where worldly wisdom prevails rather than Godly principles..
Where decisions are taken with regards to self 'protection' forgetting it's no longer 2 but 1..

Marriage is built on foundations, and the foundation determines how big, expansive, or the height that relationship will attain.

There's almost No Way you'll love someone, you wouldn't want to expose details of yourself to him/her.
Love is supposedly selfless and there's a degree of carelessness that comes with that selflessness, as well as faith.
We can't present a mask to the world and yet are unwilling to unmask ourselves to the one's you'll spend your lives with.
There's a degree of bonding, an assurance that comes with truly knowing the one your with especially during dating/lordship
This doesn't mean it should be a Q and A session (except you choose), but by all means ensure that by the time you take your vows, you truly are Naked before each other.
There can't be true sexual intimacy without the parties undressing/exposing themselves
Same holds true for emotional intimacy.

Yes, no one is 100% and we're human but we should always strive for it.
Trust..the cement of relationships is a product of honesty and openness.

The fear of being judged, to me, isn't an excuse.
GOD, also, weighs (judges) our actions but yet..
He still Loves us.

It's our choice eventually..
This may sound idealistic, but
I've experienced both ends of the spectrum

There's no need wearing a sparkling white gown over dirty underwears
It is well

MizMyColi:
I wish it were as ideal and easy as you make it sound.
I've always maintained that everyone has stuff they do, or they've done, that they'd keep from getting to the wrong crowd.
However, I support the idea of coming clean.
That said, wisdom is profitable to direct.
If I have a past that I am well aware needs to be talked about, then I will talk without fear or favor. I will talk about it as someone who has moved on.
As a person who is happy with whom she is now.
The words of Jesus "Neither do I judge you" comes to mind...
The human mind is so twisted.
I don't blame those who will keep the past as it is and forge on.
It's because they learned the hard way that folks pretend to listen to you, meanwhile what they're after is information to judge you with.
Whoever I choose to develop my life with must be someone whom I can call my friend. (No true friend judges you, even when you judge yourself, they pick you up and make you smile again, I have a friend like that so I know what I'm on about).
He must be someone whom, as time progresses, I can be truly nAaked in front of...
(emphasis on "as time progresses".
I've seen this topic being deliberated upon in this section.
I find that most folks who are angling for the woman to come clean with her past do so mainly because they want to do what they know how to do better; Judge and Lampoon.
After all is said and done, I'm with the OP.
Openess, Sincerity, Trust and Selflessness.
These are bedrocks upon which we build successful marriages/relationships.
May our paths be guided aright, to find her/him, whom we were joined with, before our earthly sojourn.
Then we'll find that this which we have been looking at as one big issue, is actually a non issue.

Great contribution but I must add though that the fear of being judged should not deter one from being true to the one they love. There are three persons so to speak who witness our sexual excapdes. God, ourselves and our partners! So one cannot truly hide their past. You are hiding from your wife or husband what another man or woman who committed the sexual brigandage with you already knows! I think I must add here too, that full disclosure requires that the confessor knows that the spouse is matured enough in managing information.

Maturity and Trust. Key ingredients in marriage.

jashar:
Maturity and Trust. Key ingredients in marriage.

Goes without saying that you can only be open and honest with a mature and trusted spouse. In other words, reason why some couples keep stuff from each other is because there is no maturity in the relationship and they certainly don't trust each other.

The post reminded me of the ideal gas laws in secondary school.

Sometimes its better you dont know somethings. Peoples reaction to issues are as varied as the colour spectrum. You might end up with a result you can never manage.

It applies to both things in the past and even in the present. There are some decisions i take that i am certain is for the good of all, but am sure my husband would never see it that way, so its best he is not in the know for the time being.

Some people might be blessed with a spouse of like mind, others are not so fortunate.

dinachi:

Goes without saying that you can only be open and honest with a mature and trusted spouse. In other words, reason why some couples keep stuff from each other is because there is no maturity in the relationship and they certainly don't trust each other.

Exactly. You're so on point.

MizMyColi:
I wish it were as ideal and easy as you make it sound.

I've always maintained that everyone has stuff they do, or they've done, that they'd keep from getting to the wrong crowd.


However, I support the idea of coming clean.
That said, wisdom is profitable to direct.


If I have a past that I am well aware needs to be talked about, then I will talk without fear or favor. I will talk about it as someone who has moved on.
As a person who is happy with whom she is now.

The words of Jesus "Neither do I judge you" comes to mind...

The human mind is so twisted.
I don't blame those who will keep the past as it is and forge on.

It's because they learned the hard way that folks pretend to listen to you, meanwhile what they're after is information to judge you with.

Whoever I choose to develop my life with must be someone whom I can call my friend. (No true friend judges you, even when you judge yourself, they pick you up and make you smile again, I have a friend like that so I know what I'm on about).
He must be someone whom, as time progresses, I can be truly nAaked in front of...
(emphasis on "as time progresses".


I've seen this topic being deliberated upon in this section.
I find that most folks who are angling for the woman to come clean with her past do so mainly because they want to do what they know how to do better; Judge and Lampoon.


After all is said and done, I'm with the OP.
Openess, Sincerity, Trust and Selflessness.
These are bedrocks upon which we build successful marriages/relationships.

May our paths be guided aright, to find her/him, whom we were joined with, before our earthly sojourn.

Then we'll find that this which we have been looking at as one big issue, is actually a non issue.

You can make it like that