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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Music/Radio / Rap Battles / Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. (1129 Views)
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Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by desmondDessi(m): 11:33am On Jun 02, 2015 |
FLOWS by desmondDessi Have you sin her?/the kinda seen(sin)/its not with the eyes o/she controlling different joystick/like say she na pilot/ Am the chef,the kind of flows that I cook up/you are the waiter,but still couldn't deliver thm I have been delivering all kind of metaphors/na you know if you wanna call me the metal King/all your life has been one way/you shouldn't understand this(metaphor). I am in my early 20s/I have kept two murders(mothers) to my name/ One of them died when I was only twelve/she has always been that CAPITAL TWELVE L ALPHABET to me(Love). I know I just struck you dumb for a minute/that's the fun if it/buht I hope u gerrit. /I started being a/an always penman in my early age,mostly on sad stories/I hope I don't pen you to your early grave......jokingly o Months back I always write on Love(hurt)/ then came the shove/ o mehn its hurts like putting hands on stove/ lots of script/never brought them out/ CU's I will be booed for what I did for love/deep down in my heart/I know those script will make a good scene in Bollywood.....for love. if you ask me WHY/well I don't know/put the sane(same) question to my shadow/well he is black too/and probably don't know too/we two(too) are too big for one's breeches. Am a novice but own the school you enrolled in/my brother you nor reach. ••••••run a spot check please•••••• Tell me where I got it wrong,where I didn't do well.....or if the whole art is not there at all....abeg ur comments are needed....am new here. make a critic and make it thick abeg. 1 Like |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by Nobody: 4:08am On Aug 11, 2015 |
desmondDessi: I've never really been good at critiquing but all I can say is read more books dear, get your vocab up, even I still add to my vocab. Structure your sentences properly, I could grasp what you were trying to say but u need to word it better. We will both practise oo, eventually we will get there. #Shikena 2 Likes |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by LhoOd: 11:02pm On Aug 14, 2015 |
coogar emaprince Kr0ne elymaxiimus dj5naira ibime giyazz theprekky thunderstorm liricyst guykhena lagunna1 danbrowndmf sosiqdude |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by desmondDessi(m): 11:59pm On Aug 14, 2015 |
Adanna28:Thanks....I really appreciate this.....have seen wat u can do,yeah.... I read some wordings by u last week,great work. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by Nobody: 1:07am On Aug 15, 2015 |
desmondDessi: Thank you dear, we learn n grow together. |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by ELYMAXiimus(m): 7:43pm On Aug 17, 2015 |
Improve your diction. Read and study how d0pe guys create their writtens Emulate them (for a start) Continuously feed your brain. I.e, be a voracious reader. This way, you won't know the meaning of "writers block"... Cheers! 1 Like |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by Nobody: 3:10am On Sep 22, 2015 |
I admire your verses too, espec your recent one what I like about you most is how humble you are. You even seek for advice for learning when you are quite dope. I am happy we are friends on here. |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by desmondDessi(m): 9:50pm On Sep 22, 2015 |
Adanna28:You should see my face now Awwww Thanks 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by liricyst(m): 2:41pm On Sep 23, 2015 |
well i did spot some good ideas... But here's my advice. You have to lock down rhyming. That's the first stage. Its rap cos of rhymes. Usually i first have an idea of what i want to say..then find the rhymes to help me tell it best. Practise rhyming words...practise rhyming schemes. You can start with 2/3 syllables. If you not sure how to rhyme a word...Google its pronunciation. Immediately you would know what rhymes with it. Once you get that. ...dive into metaphors and similes cos they help your audience envision what you have in mind. Just keep scripting and practising bro textceeing takes an insane amount of practise...i could dig up some of my first verses on ffr for you...and you would laugh at me die. Let krystle said...we all practise. even if Practice doesn't make you perfect....it makes you effing good |
Re: Almost Everybody In This Section Inspired Me...help Me Make Better. by desmondDessi(m): 5:57pm On Sep 24, 2015 |
liricyst:I'll be glad to see ur 1st drops on ffr...Thanks. |
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