Pls want to know your take on this: Hubby insisted dat we should password our fones and not tell eachother d password so we can have some privacy so for like 2yrs or so its been like dat but a Pastor friend of mine insisted dat its a sin...... ......tho me am indifferent.

Its not right. Definitely somehow is hiding something.

If it is a sin brushing your teeth too is a sin so is washing your clothes. Nigerian pastors and


smh

Very right.. Now quote me and ask me why

Did the Pastor really say it's a sin or you misinterpreted him?

It's not a sin but it's very unhealthy for marriage. Couples must be open to each other as much as possible. I will suspect any hubby that brings up that idea. The probability that he has a skeleton in his cupboard is very very high.

Putting my self in your shoes -
If my wife should suggest this to me;

1. I
2. Will
3. Get
4. An
5. Immediate
6. Divorce.

Well there — dusted, divorced and alone, she can have all the privacy she needs. I don't care. Fúcking Bítch.

germain dear, it is not right. Try as much as u can to be open to yur spouse. It pays. Yur perceived indifference concerning yur marraige really bother me, cos each time I read yur post on marriage and family u often say something which indirectly suggests u are not fully enjoying yur marriage. I hope am wrong. But if am right, just continue loving yur hubby. It could be a passage to bliss. Cheers

germainediva:
Pls want to know your take on this: Hubby insisted dat we should password our fones and not tell eachother d password so we can have some privacy so for like 2yrs or so its been like dat but a Pastor friend of mine insisted dat its a sin...... ......tho me am indifferent.

It is what husband and wife agree for it to be.
Your "rules of engagement" "contract" determine whether it's right or wrong. Sounds like you're breaking an agreement you entered into two years ago. In which case, you have to convince the other party (your husband) that the agreement needs to change. If he doesn't agree, well . . . . . .

Whatever works for you guys. As long as you two are comfortable and happy with the arrangement, then you are good.

there is absolutely nothing with it

There is nothing wrong to lock or password your phone, what is wrong is when you hide the password from your partner

germainediva:
Pls want to know your take on this: Hubby insisted dat we should password our fones and not tell eachother d password so we can have some privacy so for like 2yrs

What kind of privacy? And why two years?

Is it some kind of open marriage?

its been like dat but a Pastor friend of mine insisted dat its a sin...... ......tho me am indifferent.

Lol. So, your pastor locking your phone with a password is a sin? Lol.

This leads me to ask again, why are you indifferent? Is it an open marriage? Do you have something you are hiding?

I don't care wat ur pastor says, but if a husband or wife decides to password his/her phone, u re only telling ur partner that thres something u dnt want him/her to know , this is the foundation of mistrust

Same goes for couples who says, dnt touch my phone and I won't touch urs its wrong.. " In marriage, two have become one" pls let's stop all this negative attitude that only bring trouble.

Waht the hell re u even hiding, ur girlfriend/boyfriend, if this is it, then u don't deserve to be a husband/wife

germainediva:
Pls want to know your take on this: Hubby insisted dat we should password our fones and not tell eachother d password so we can have some privacy so for like 2yrs or so its been like dat but a Pastor friend of mine insisted dat its a sin...... ......tho me am indifferent.

If the pastor hadnt said anything, and if you and your hubby have been living in peace and both OKay with passwording your phones for "privacy reasons" up until now, then carry go

Every marriage has its own dynamics that suits them and they plod peacefully along.
Tip the dynamics and you stress the marriage and end up invoking all sorts of things
Your pastor should know that.

I hope your pastor friend is a woman, becasue the next thing now is that your hubby may accuse you and your pastor friend of being up to no good when you go and tell your hubby that he is a sinner for locking his phone.

If you are both happy with the arrangement, pls let sleeping dogs lie.

Initially when hubby suggested it I refused but when he insisted I give in 4 peace sake......his reason ;in case he carelessly drops it nobody wll b able to access it, so when I demanded d pass word he gave me but after some wks he changed it and refused t give me d password.and said we both nid a little privacy.............but any time he has d opportunity he quickly checks my fone tho I password my fone too.

Haba! It is not a sin. But why should couples hide their pin? If you can hide pin from your spouse..its possible that you are capable of hiding other things.

It's a sin ?? Pastor my foot!!!!
We both have passwords on the phones....he knows my password...I let him think I don't know his...

Life moves on .

Tell you what complete trust is:

Unsecuring, using both phones without any password in the hopes that neither of you trespass. All humans are entitled to some level of privacy, be it married or single, but the actual question is, how far is too far?

In this scenario, I would say it's gone too far. Me thinks!

hmmmmm wonders will always exist...... for two years huu ? Remember in any relationship there's privacy, trust corrodes And when it corrodes, truth collapse... there are things we shouldnt Kip away from our spouse. Take for example somtin happens to ur husband And his phone is the only means the police can take off it's investigation to know who/ What actually killed him And you say u don't have his password. If na me be DPO eeh ? I go wooze u beta slap. Hehehehe jSt kidding ..But it's bad

You have right to privacy but at the end of the day.. If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing at all.

You guys need to trust each other.

germainediva:
Initially when hubby suggested it I refused but when he insisted I give in 4 peace sake......his reason ;in case he carelessly drops it nobody wll b able to access it, so when I demanded d pass word he gave me but after some wks he changed it and refused t give me d password.and said we both nid a little privacy.............but any time he has d opportunity he quickly checks my fone tho I password my fone too.

definetly hubby is hiding somthing... I beggi i can't take it,thou my hubby has tried such a thing with me,but for me its a no no way,what kind of yeye privacy,ha!! My dear i can't give room for any mis-managemt in my marriage!!! Ko joor mehn.

germainediva:
Initially when hubby suggested it I refused but when he insisted I give in 4 peace sake......his reason ;in case he carelessly drops it nobody wll b able to access it, so when I demanded d pass word he gave me but after some wks he changed it and refused t give me d password.and said we both nid a little privacy.............but any time he has d opportunity he quickly checks my fone tho I password my fone too.

Then if you are not happy with it and want to have an open and nothing hidden relationship, you have to teach by example and you start by unlocking your own phone.
When he sees that you are very open, then gradually he will see the folly of him keeping his locked . . unless he has something to hide.

K

What are they looking for on each other's phone?

wrong and right

Its complicated, its good for the guy, if he's able to do that. But can't stand my wife having her phone passworded

That's no marriage..

If they truly love themselves, no need for that. If one must use a passcode then your partner needs to know the code, but it's not easy nowadays with lof of adultery going on here and there..

As for me I password my phone, if she needs to do something with the phone I'll unlock for her. I don't like headaches so I don't bother to go through her phone, they say what you don't know won't hurt you.

vote for my guy Ayima as Mr Nairaland 2015, he will give you the password to your spouse's phone

I don't it's great..It creates an element of doubt on both parties mind when if they say they trust each.