Have I told you guys I now speak at Enugu's
dream Fm?
Maybe I haven't and so I'm now telling you...tune
on to dream fm every Monday 12-12.30 pm and
you will hear me speak on some business stuff
on "My money Monday show".
But that is not what this story is about; I just
wanted you guys to know why I met her where I
met her....
...At dream Fm.
It was raining outside when I rushed into dream
fm's reception, the rain wasn't that heavy so I
wasn't really drenched but I was still wet.
I flashed the receptionist a smile, said good
morning and walked upstairs to the studio.
In the studio Tobedadiva was already on air with
her midday express show. I glanced at my wrist
watch; it was 11.36. We won't be going on air till
12 o'clock.
Still talking into the mic, Tobe looked at me then
waved. I smiled then waved back...
That was when I saw her "royal hotness"...she
was sitting near Tobe and I was like; shit...why
didn't I notice her the moment I walked in! Like,
WTF!
You know those kinda girls you see and you
shake ya head inside and go like..."Don't go dia,
she no be ya levels"? Ehmm, Na that kind babe
(the girls won't understand).
I mean she oozed class, I don't know designers
things but mehn, nobody need use label tell me
say the babe clothe fit add up buy everything I
carry for body (plus the two lobbish phone I carry
for pocket)
And as for her face? Leave it...she was
scatteringly fine, I mean, Some people's face just
make you feel say e get some serious partiality
in haven during the creation process. She was
drop dead gorgeous...
And I was staring.
She just raised an eyebrow like; "dude, you never
see fine geh before?"
I looked away, a bit embarrassed. I don't stare at
women like a cow (maybe sometimes I do sha)
but today own gan, I had stared like an Ebola
Monkey.
I walked to a seat away from the mic, not really
close to "her royal hotness" but close enough to
smell her perfume, and casting one last glance
at her I sat down.
Tobedadiva continued talking into the MIC, telling
the Enugu people the station they are on and all
those things presenters say on radio.
That was how the devil entered me o, mumu boy
like me...I picked up a pen, tore a sheet from my
diary and got ready to jonse.
Using my pen, i scribbled this on the sheet of
paper: "get out of here, you are so pretty"
*end of quote*
I don't know the devil that convinced me that
that line make sense. I mean, as I wrote it I was
feeling myself.
So that's how I mumushily leaned forward and
gave the babe the paper.
She hesitated, collected it, read it and...
See me na, I relaxed my back on my seat,
waiting for her to smile...
For where?
She just gave me an Ebola monkey look and
looked away.
Ghen ghen, I said to myself, you don Bleep up.
"Guy". My small tiny annoying mind voice poped
up. "Are you high? You enter somewhere, you
never stay 5 mins and you don dey show ya true
colour...you be Ebola Monkey o".
Without any dragging I agreed with the voice.
Mehn, I haf jonsed o.
Ten minutes to twelve and the radio DJ(Fx2)
started playing a song. Tobe removed her
headsets, switched off her MIC then turned to
me.
"Hi, Nonso" she said. I said Hi back. "Meet my
friend, Amanda. She is Senator Ike's Daughter"
My eye "shined"
"Amanda, meet Nonso. He is a resource person
for my Money Monday show"
She look me, nod and comot face...
You have casted, I told myself, Senator's
daughter? You have seriously casted...
To be continued...this is just the premier, watch
out for Episode 1.

MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS (PART ONE) Mehn, it is not everyday you meet a senator’s daughter…and it is not everyday you meet a senator’s daughter who is as pretty as hell… After I was introduced I just chilled. Is I jonsing? 12pm reached and I went on air with Tobe and forgot the babe. One or two times I caught her looking at me as I talked into the MIC. But mehn, I haf pass that age of suspecting say a babe “is trip” for me just because she was looking at me I still ignored her kwa. But guy, that shit was as hard as hell. Trying to act like a hot mami wasn’t near you while trying to talk into a radio station mic to people you can’t even see – hard stuff. But the lord was my muscle… Somewhere along the line she said something to Tobe and left the studio 12.30pm, show ended…12.40 I was bouncing towards the gate, trekking the shit out my life. Vooom – Infinity jeep pulled to a stop near me. Glass whined down and it was Amanda. See the way she keep her face na, bone up anyhow. Now she wants to warn shit commot my nose for writing her shit back at the studio, I thought… “Where are you headed to?” she asked. My jaw dropped. i was sha going to a bus stop to hustle for bus, where you been think say I dey go? but should I tell her? “hehehe”. My mind voice laughed. “before? You wan tell am say you won go enter ya helicopter? Lelax, she knows you are broke” I smilled at her: “I’m going to where I parked my helicopter”. I said For a moment she kept face like she believed me. This life eh, if I had cracked that joke around a babe who was as broke as me she would have coded say I was just trying to funny…but rich babe things, she almost thought I was serious. I almost wanted to tell her I was just joking when she shook her head like say I carry Ebola then told me I crack dry jokes Mehn, I agreed, sometimes I dey jonse myself in the name of trying to sound funny. She opened the passenger door and asked me to get in. I hesitated. “but I never tell you say I want ride na”. I thought. Well the thing is this, I don’t like been driven by women. Especially woman wey be my mate, I dodge it, I don’t know why. Maybe because it makes me feel really womanish. But I still got in kwa o. is I mad? When I entered I saw two policemen for back, the babe obviously didn’t like been driven and if you see the bad ebola monkey eye those police men give me eh… chisos. I threw them greetings then faced my front “So where you headed. You haven't answered that”. I told her to just take me to the nearest bustop….she told me she was going to shoprite, I told her oya na lets go. I go drop for the busstop wey dey near there. So that was how she started driving o…. I started up one dry conversation then use my hand end am….boring boy like me, I thought with a smile. When we reached shoprite she stopped at the bustop. I made to open the door to get down and hesitated. One, Somehow it felt like say the policemen for back would shoot me if they hear me asking what I was about to ask. Two, wetin I won ask was needing excess liver and my liver as e be at that moment na just one that wasn’t really functioning. “Are you on BBM?” I asked, ah, I finally said it. Something chuked me on my back. Oh boy oo, the police men won shoot me o…I screamed inside. Relax, my tiny mind voice told me, na the car seat. “Lemme have your phone”. She said. Without looking back I knew the policemen were not happy about that. She typed in her pin. I said bye and came down. *whew* that car felt like an oven, the tension in it tho. The car drove away… I looked at the pin she had typed on my bbm. It was still pending, she had sent herself a request and she had not accepted it. “You be mumu sha”. My mind voice told me. “if she accept that request make I fly comot ya body. You see how she take discharge you? Ebola monkey” To be continued.

MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS (Part 3) Shit happens... You know eh; my grandmother has this saying: if eyes were guns murder would be rampant. The look Amanda gave me when I entered the studio was, how I go take put am, it was... - mehn, I don't know the words jare. It was rugged, that's all I can say. Her two body guards were with her and they gave me this funny look that made me feel somehow or maybe they didn't give me any look anything, maybe I was just imagining things. I waved at Tobe, wondering if to kukuma ignore Amanda. But mehn, na Bleep up na. "Hi. Amanda". She just looked at me. All those look which when translated to English would simply mean - gan die. I just squeezed my face like person wey they punch and started walking towards a seat. "Hey. Tobe. Can I borrow him for a moment?" Tobe looked at her, then at me, then back at her "Sure. You can" Hehehe, my mind voice laughed, the babe no dey waste time o. Now it's time for the slamming. Thing was, all this her kiniko Kiniko was starting to annoy me. Like, what's all those ones. Sha, na wash. I bin dey shake inside joor. In this country where 50k fit make police carry you enter kirikiri death row section? O boy, see what BBM haf done to me. She faced me; "Can we talk outside?". By now everybody was feeling the heat. Every fucking body. "Sure." I said, keeping face like say norin dey happen. She motioned for her body guard not to follow her then walked out. I followed her. When we got outside she asked somebody for an empty office. Senator daughter na, they agreed. Carry one office give am. She led me inside and locked the door. I looked at her. If I hear say I will allow her see how uncomfortable she was making me. "What's all this drama for?" I asked in a calm voice. Vam, she walked towards me. Voom, her lips were on mine in a full blown kiss. Yes o, I was surprised too. Like, my eye were open and my lips were frozen like, Wada Bleep? Her eyes were already closed, tightly shut like this eh. Blad of Gad. Is this babe high. She noticed I wasn't returning the kiss and she pulled back. Vam; one hot slap. Chisos! Is this babe mad?!!. "Are you mad?" I asked her. "When I kiss you, you kiss me back". "Okay", my mind voice said calmly, "run. This babe is mad" I turned to leave, before I will start thinking of slapping her back abeg. She pulled me back, looked me in the eye and knacked me another round of lipstick on my lips. It's not as if the kiss no dey hungry me o, I mean, the babe was damn fine and from stunts she don pull already on top ma lips it was just obvious she can kiss. But mehn, when a girl kisses you, slaps you then kiss you again you feel the urge not to stay in the same room with her again...I mean, who kisses then slaps someone? That shit happens only in movies and whenever it happens in movies then the babe na serial killer or something. I made to leave, she pinned me to the wall and strained against me, pushing her boobs against ma chest. Damn, this babe chest make sense gon, I thought, I had been so into her face that I hadn't noticed. Ebola Monkey o! Her lips played with mine for a moment then the devil entered ma head and I decided to return the kiss. My back had been leaning on the door. I turned her first, kept her back on the door and took over. Next thing I hear na Bam... She kicked me in the crotch area. Scream fall comot my mouth. "Are you crazy?!!" "That was for deleting me from BBM" she said. My eye shine. Say I remove you from BBM na him you won discapcitate me? What the Bleep is this world turning into. "You still dey here?" My mind voice asked in alarm. I stared walking towards the door then thought against it. I returned and gave her a lot slap (Yes o, I did it. All this shit about not hitting women - how about don't hit men first? Durr) She stared at me, shocked to the marrow. "Oh no". My mind voice said quitely. "Oh fucking No. What did you just do?" TO BE CONTINUED...

MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS (D'Conclusion) Slapping a girl is gbege on it's own... Now take the gbege you get from slapping just any girl then times it by sixty-two...that equals the kinda gbege I knew I was in by slapping a senator's daughter. Like, dem no born me well? Matter of fact, I saw that same question on Amanda's face. She wasn't saying anything but the expression on her face just asked one question - "You dey mad?" Should I apologise? Abi should I just turn and run out of the building at full speed. You know what the babe did next? Mehn, that girl na psycho abeg - she smiled. As in, open teeth smile. At that point I was like; czar you don slap madness enter this babe head o. Then the next thing she was laughing...laughing real hard. "Ok. Run now". I advised myself. I turned, grabbed the door knob and vam - she grabbed my hands. "You know I can get you wiped off records for that, don't you?". See me na, I nodded like a cow. "Now apologise". She said, a deadly look on her face. I shook my head. If I hear. I spend energy throw slap and now she wants me to apologise and make all those energy turn to waste....if I hear say I apologise. I just looked at her. Inside of me I was like; make she no remember she get bodyguards o. They would just panel beat ma ass...but outwardly I was as calm as fowl yash for dry season. Then the next thing she did was to pass me, open the door and leave the office. I gave her like five minutes then walked outside. She wasn't in the studio when I walked in. She wasn't anywhere around the building after I finished the show by 12.30. It's been two weeks now since I last saw her. I haven't heard from her, not a word, nothing...zip. Two weeks. What do you think? Should I be scared or should I not be scared. Your suggestions are needed THE END.

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luvn dis..

KellyNicole:
luvn dis..

tnk dear were should i improve on.