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Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 8:14am On Jun 10, 2015 |
Have I told you guys I now speak at Enugu's dream Fm? Maybe I haven't and so I'm now telling you...tune on to dream fm every Monday 12-12.30 pm and you will hear me speak on some business stuff on "My money Monday show". But that is not what this story is about; I just wanted you guys to know why I met her where I met her.... ...At dream Fm. It was raining outside when I rushed into dream fm's reception, the rain wasn't that heavy so I wasn't really drenched but I was still wet. I flashed the receptionist a smile, said good morning and walked upstairs to the studio. In the studio Tobedadiva was already on air with her midday express show. I glanced at my wrist watch; it was 11.36. We won't be going on air till 12 o'clock. Still talking into the mic, Tobe looked at me then waved. I smiled then waved back... That was when I saw her "royal hotness"...she was sitting near Tobe and I was like; shit...why didn't I notice her the moment I walked in! Like, WTF! You know those kinda girls you see and you shake ya head inside and go like..."Don't go dia, she no be ya levels"? Ehmm, Na that kind babe (the girls won't understand). I mean she oozed class, I don't know designers things but mehn, nobody need use label tell me say the babe clothe fit add up buy everything I carry for body (plus the two lobbish phone I carry for pocket) And as for her face? Leave it...she was scatteringly fine, I mean, Some people's face just make you feel say e get some serious partiality in haven during the creation process. She was drop dead gorgeous... And I was staring. She just raised an eyebrow like; "dude, you never see fine geh before?" I looked away, a bit embarrassed. I don't stare at women like a cow (maybe sometimes I do sha) but today own gan, I had stared like an Ebola Monkey. I walked to a seat away from the mic, not really close to "her royal hotness" but close enough to smell her perfume, and casting one last glance at her I sat down. Tobedadiva continued talking into the MIC, telling the Enugu people the station they are on and all those things presenters say on radio. That was how the devil entered me o, mumu boy like me...I picked up a pen, tore a sheet from my diary and got ready to jonse. Using my pen, i scribbled this on the sheet of paper: "get out of here, you are so pretty" *end of quote* I don't know the devil that convinced me that that line make sense. I mean, as I wrote it I was feeling myself. So that's how I mumushily leaned forward and gave the babe the paper. She hesitated, collected it, read it and... See me na, I relaxed my back on my seat, waiting for her to smile... For where? She just gave me an Ebola monkey look and looked away. Ghen ghen, I said to myself, you don Bleep up. "Guy". My small tiny annoying mind voice poped up. "Are you high? You enter somewhere, you never stay 5 mins and you don dey show ya true colour...you be Ebola Monkey o". Without any dragging I agreed with the voice. Mehn, I haf jonsed o. Ten minutes to twelve and the radio DJ(Fx2) started playing a song. Tobe removed her headsets, switched off her MIC then turned to me. "Hi, Nonso" she said. I said Hi back. "Meet my friend, Amanda. She is Senator Ike's Daughter" My eye "shined" "Amanda, meet Nonso. He is a resource person for my Money Monday show" She look me, nod and comot face... You have casted, I told myself, Senator's daughter? You have seriously casted... To be continued...this is just the premier, watch out for Episode 1. |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 8:15am On Jun 10, 2015 |
MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS (PART
ONE)
Mehn, it is not everyday you meet a senator’s
daughter…and it is not everyday you meet a
senator’s daughter who is as pretty as hell…
After I was introduced I just chilled. Is I jonsing?
12pm reached and I went on air with Tobe and
forgot the babe.
One or two times I caught her looking at me as I
talked into the MIC. But mehn, I haf pass that
age of suspecting say a babe “is trip” for me just
because she was looking at me
I still ignored her kwa. But guy, that shit was as
hard as hell. Trying to act like a hot mami wasn’t
near you while trying to talk into a radio station
mic to people you can’t even see – hard stuff.
But the lord was my muscle…
Somewhere along the line she said something to
Tobe and left the studio
12.30pm, show ended…12.40 I was bouncing
towards the gate, trekking the shit out my life.
Vooom – Infinity jeep pulled to a stop near me.
Glass whined down and it was Amanda. See the
way she keep her face na, bone up anyhow.
Now she wants to warn shit commot my nose for
writing her shit back at the studio, I thought…
“Where are you headed to?” she asked.
My jaw dropped. i was sha going to a bus stop to
hustle for bus, where you been think say I dey
go? but should I tell her?
“hehehe”. My mind voice laughed. “before? You
wan tell am say you won go enter ya helicopter?
Lelax, she knows you are broke”
I smilled at her:
“I’m going to where I parked my helicopter”. I
said
For a moment she kept face like she believed
me. This life eh, if I had cracked that joke around
a babe who was as broke as me she would have
coded say I was just trying to funny…but rich
babe things, she almost thought I was serious.
I almost wanted to tell her I was just joking
when she shook her head like say I carry Ebola
then told me I crack dry jokes
Mehn, I agreed, sometimes I dey jonse myself in
the name of trying to sound funny. She opened
the passenger door and asked me to get in. I
hesitated.
“but I never tell you say I want ride na”. I
thought.
Well the thing is this, I don’t like been driven by
women. Especially woman wey be my mate, I
dodge it, I don’t know why. Maybe because it
makes me feel really womanish.
But I still got in kwa o. is I mad?
When I entered I saw two policemen for back,
the babe obviously didn’t like been driven and if
you see the bad ebola monkey eye those police
men give me eh… chisos.
I threw them greetings then faced my front
“So where you headed. You haven't answered
that”.
I told her to just take me to the nearest
bustop….she told me she was going to shoprite, I
told her oya na lets go. I go drop for the busstop
wey dey near there.
So that was how she started driving o….
I started up one dry conversation then use my
hand end am….boring boy like me, I thought with
a smile.
When we reached shoprite she stopped at the
bustop. I made to open the door to get down and
hesitated.
One, Somehow it felt like say the policemen for
back would shoot me if they hear me asking
what I was about to ask.
Two, wetin I won ask was needing excess liver
and my liver as e be at that moment na just one
that wasn’t really functioning.
“Are you on BBM?” I asked, ah, I finally said it.
Something chuked me on my back. Oh boy oo,
the police men won shoot me o…I screamed
inside.
Relax, my tiny mind voice told me, na the car
seat.
“Lemme have your phone”. She said. Without
looking back I knew the policemen were not
happy about that. She typed in her pin. I said bye
and came down.
*whew* that car felt like an oven, the tension in
it tho. The car drove away…
I looked at the pin she had typed on my bbm. It
was still pending, she had sent herself a request
and she had not accepted it.
“You be mumu sha”. My mind voice told me. “if
she accept that request make I fly comot ya
body. You see how she take discharge you?
Ebola monkey”
To be continued. |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 8:19am On Jun 10, 2015 |
MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS (Part 3)
Shit happens...
You know eh; my grandmother has this saying: if
eyes were guns murder would be rampant.
The look Amanda gave me when I entered the
studio was, how I go take put am, it was...
- mehn, I don't know the words jare.
It was rugged, that's all I can say. Her two body
guards were with her and they gave me this
funny look that made me feel somehow or
maybe they didn't give me any look anything,
maybe I was just imagining things.
I waved at Tobe, wondering if to kukuma ignore
Amanda.
But mehn, na Bleep up na.
"Hi. Amanda".
She just looked at me. All those look which when
translated to English would simply mean - gan
die.
I just squeezed my face like person wey they
punch and started walking towards a seat.
"Hey. Tobe. Can I borrow him for a moment?"
Tobe looked at her, then at me, then back at her
"Sure. You can"
Hehehe, my mind voice laughed, the babe no dey
waste time o. Now it's time for the slamming.
Thing was, all this her kiniko Kiniko was starting
to annoy me. Like, what's all those ones.
Sha, na wash. I bin dey shake inside joor. In this
country where 50k fit make police carry you
enter kirikiri death row section? O boy, see what
BBM haf done to me.
She faced me;
"Can we talk outside?".
By now everybody was feeling the heat. Every
fucking body.
"Sure." I said, keeping face like say norin dey
happen.
She motioned for her body guard not to follow
her then walked out. I followed her.
When we got outside she asked somebody for an
empty office. Senator daughter na, they agreed.
Carry one office give am.
She led me inside and locked the door.
I looked at her. If I hear say I will allow her see
how uncomfortable she was making me.
"What's all this drama for?" I asked in a calm
voice.
Vam, she walked towards me. Voom, her lips
were on mine in a full blown kiss.
Yes o, I was surprised too. Like, my eye were
open and my lips were frozen like, Wada Bleep?
Her eyes were already closed, tightly shut like
this eh.
Blad of Gad. Is this babe high. She noticed I
wasn't returning the kiss and she pulled back.
Vam; one hot slap.
Chisos! Is this babe mad?!!.
"Are you mad?" I asked her.
"When I kiss you, you kiss me back".
"Okay", my mind voice said calmly, "run. This
babe is mad"
I turned to leave, before I will start thinking of
slapping her back abeg.
She pulled me back, looked me in the eye and
knacked me another round of lipstick on my lips.
It's not as if the kiss no dey hungry me o, I
mean, the babe was damn fine and from stunts
she don pull already on top ma lips it was just
obvious she can kiss.
But mehn, when a girl kisses you, slaps you then
kiss you again you feel the urge not to stay in
the same room with her again...I mean, who
kisses then slaps someone? That shit happens
only in movies and whenever it happens in
movies then the babe na serial killer or
something.
I made to leave, she pinned me to the wall and
strained against me, pushing her boobs against
ma chest.
Damn, this babe chest make sense gon, I
thought, I had been so into her face that I hadn't
noticed. Ebola Monkey o!
Her lips played with mine for a moment then the
devil entered ma head and I decided to return
the kiss.
My back had been leaning on the door. I turned
her first, kept her back on the door and took
over.
Next thing I hear na Bam...
She kicked me in the crotch area.
Scream fall comot my mouth.
"Are you crazy?!!"
"That was for deleting me from BBM" she said.
My eye shine. Say I remove you from BBM na
him you won discapcitate me? What the Bleep is
this world turning into.
"You still dey here?" My mind voice asked in
alarm.
I stared walking towards the door then thought
against it. I returned and gave her a lot slap (Yes
o, I did it. All this shit about not hitting women -
how about don't hit men first? Durr)
She stared at me, shocked to the marrow.
"Oh no". My mind voice said quitely. "Oh fucking
No. What did you just do?"
TO BE CONTINUED... |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 8:21am On Jun 10, 2015 |
MESSING WITH HER ROYAL HOTNESS
(D'Conclusion)
Slapping a girl is gbege on it's own...
Now take the gbege you get from slapping just
any girl then times it by sixty-two...that equals
the kinda gbege I knew I was in by slapping a
senator's daughter.
Like, dem no born me well? Matter of fact, I saw
that same question on Amanda's face. She
wasn't saying anything but the expression on her
face just asked one question - "You dey mad?"
Should I apologise? Abi should I just turn and run
out of the building at full speed.
You know what the babe did next? Mehn, that
girl na psycho abeg - she smiled.
As in, open teeth smile. At that point I was like;
czar you don slap madness enter this babe head
o.
Then the next thing she was laughing...laughing
real hard.
"Ok. Run now". I advised myself. I turned,
grabbed the door knob and vam - she grabbed my
hands.
"You know I can get you wiped off records for
that, don't you?".
See me na, I nodded like a cow.
"Now apologise". She said, a deadly look on her
face.
I shook my head. If I hear. I spend energy throw
slap and now she wants me to apologise and
make all those energy turn to waste....if I hear
say I apologise.
I just looked at her. Inside of me I was like;
make she no remember she get bodyguards o.
They would just panel beat ma ass...but
outwardly I was as calm as fowl yash for dry
season.
Then the next thing she did was to pass me,
open the door and leave the office.
I gave her like five minutes then walked outside.
She wasn't in the studio when I walked in.
She wasn't anywhere around the building after I
finished the show by 12.30.
It's been two weeks now since I last saw her.
I haven't heard from her, not a word,
nothing...zip. Two weeks.
What do you think? Should I be scared or should
I not be scared. Your suggestions are needed
THE END. |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 8:26am On Jun 10, 2015 |
For advice ND comments add me on FB:ogundare Taye tobi Instagram:oluwatobiloba2 Whatsap:08164679188 |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by KellyNicole(f): 8:37am On Jun 10, 2015 |
luvn dis.. 1 Like |
Re: Messing With Her Royal Hotness (the Premier) by holuwatobhy(m): 10:28am On Jun 10, 2015 |
KellyNicole:tnk dear were should i improve on. |
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