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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / What Do Women Want? (509 Views)
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What Do Women Want? by holuwatobhy(m): 11:32am On Jun 10, 2015 |
*warning* Please note; the guy in this story is not me - I repeat, the guy in this story is not me o. I apologise whatsoever for any resemblance of the characters in this story to real people - na coincidence abeg. For those that voted for this story (A), una don win the election na - PDP things ****************************************** 1. Women are about the most complicated species of breathing things on earth - them dey use am brag sef. "Czar, I just don't know. I'm complicated and that's my problem". Who ask you, yimu. Make I start the story jare, no time. It was a friday, and like every friday in my final year - from 10am to whenever, dey always dey free. Like they say, an idle man is the devil's workshop. That was how the devil pushed Arisa, one of my guys slash classmate, to where I was sitting by myself near the window at the back of the class (I no be back bencher - no even think am). "Guy, we dey free from 10am o". Arisa told me. I looked up from the note I was pretending to copy (I hate copying notes to pieces). "I get timetable". I told Arisa. "So I know, thank you for reminding me" Bam! Person slap the back of my head from back. Genuis Blad of messi, my mind voice screamed, bad ass genius blad of messi. Who slap me! I turned in anger like this eh and saw Achor, another of my man, grinning like the cow on a cowbell satchet. "You know what time it is". He said, still grinning. "Hunting time". Arisa helped him complete. "Make we go hunt". *Alright. pause; let me explain.* Most fridays we hunt. Okay, scratch that - let me try another angle: every friday whenever we were free of lectures we go around school and chyke random girls for fun. We bet 1k, Anyone who gets a girl's number first wins the money. The rule was this; the babe gas fine and we all gas gree say the babe fine (you grab?) Now, I'm a typical gentle guy but I ain't gay so damn the gentility; when hunting time comes - I join (hehehe, Ya, I know it sounds like I'm justifying my actions. Na wetin my father send me to school for? - if that's what you are thinking, Na u sabi), plus I need the money sef (I always loose sha) So scratching my head and still looking Achor "bad eyes" for slamming my head like that, I agreed. I packed the note I was copying(I go copy am later joor) and joined them as they walked out of the class. "Where we go go now?" Achor asked. "Faculty of Art". I suggested without thinking. Did I mention that I love art babes to scatter? Ok I just did; I love art babes to scatter. They can know how to package and every man loves a packaged babe and since I'm a man then I love an art babe (that's simple GS 208 - logic). So they agreed and voom; we directed our steps towards faculty of art (I dey microbiology, by the way). When we got to faculty of arts; voom - masscomm department. When we got to masscom department we entered searching mode - "that babe fine sha" one of us will say. "No she no fine joor, her yash dey one side", another one will counter. So that was how we were doing mumu panel of judges till ghen...this babe walked out of Masscomm final year class. Okay, We were downstairs so I was kinda looking up at their door when she came out (I think I'm possessed, I dey always see fine girls first. Gad forbid, I'm not possessed abeg). So as I was saying, as the babe walked out - my jaw dropped, wolf look came on my face and my tiny mind voice started screaming holy genuis blad of messi, holy genuis blad of messi. Arisa spotted the look on my face (he knows the look) and followed my gaze; the babe was now talking with some of his class guys near the balcony out their class. Well, scratch that - some of his class guys were hustling to talk to her. Achor followed our gaze. "Okay, this one fine" he said. "Like mad". Arisa agreed. "So who go go?" Okay pause; let me describe the babe (hey love, if you are reading this now no vex, I just have to describe). So as I was saying, let me describe the babe: I am a bit taller than her, I'm average height (you are moyes and thunder will fire you if you think I'm not. Lol)- and no, she is not short. Plummy, She had low cut, pointed nose, gorgeous lips, nice sexy straight legs(no knock knee shit), nice carriage (alright let me stop here before it starts sounding like wash) So when Arisa asked the one million dollars questions; "who go go first", that was when I understood how the angels must have felt when God the father asked the same question before man was saved. Lever cut me, cut Achor and cut Arisa wey ask the question. I mean, that mami up there was an 11 over 10 babe. Like, she was damn hot. "She is not my type sha" Arisa said. And No he wasn't saying it because he was scared of getting rejected, the babe was really not his type. Arisa is a firewoodophile...definition; a guy who is sexually attracted to fire-woods. In simpler terms; he liked skiny girl and hellish hot babe up there was plumpy; so she was a no - no. Achor faced me. "Na u go go first na". He told me. "You don loose tire for past hunting trips. I dash you this chance". I frooze; my liver was really screwed up by now. I looked up at the balcony - damn, this babe fine die. holy genuis blad of messi. I turned to look at my guys; this was war and I would be damned if I act like a goddamn wussy in the face of battle, in front of my fellow warriors again kwa- God punish moyes. Carrying myself as calm as I didn't really feel inside, I started walking towards the staircase that will lead me to the balcony. If I no collect this babe number today I go loose another 1k... TO BE CONTINUED |
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