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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? (2184 Views)
My Marriage On The Brink Of Crashing, Experienced People Needed Now. / My Home Is Collapsing / Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? (2) (3) (4)
Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by ConfessionsNgr: 7:55am On Jun 22, 2015 |
I have been married for over 6 year. My wife has been living in pretense and that has ruined our marriage. She cheats on me with a very old man capable of being her grand father. She is a health worker and the man is an independent doctor. When I confronted her she denied and rained abuses on me. Little did I know that this same relationship robbed her of her first fiancé. The guy discovered her attachment to the doctor and jilted her after they have courted for close to 3 years. The guy that jilted her before me happened to be a key sponsor in her education in health field. It has dawned on me that she rather sacrifice her marriage and family rather than severing her illicit relationship with this old doctor. Right now we have been separated for close to a year with no hope of re-union. I have stopped calling her and the kids also. I intend conducting paternal test for the kids ownership but has not mustered the courage because of its long-term effect on the lives of those kids. I have another crush on a health worker also but it seems she is not so keen in serious relationship with me because of my marital status. I have had series of bed time with her as a result of long term abstinence since my wife deserted the home. As it stands now, I am in deep dilemma and need mature advise Should I move on or mend this sinking marriage!? Posted anonymously on confessionsnigeria.com http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/109/help-my-marriage-is-collapsing-should-i-move-on-or-mend-it 2 Likes |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by mojeed4(m): 7:56am On Jun 22, 2015 |
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Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by okenwa(m): 7:58am On Jun 22, 2015 |
Please fix it, if you can. Infidelity has been a lingering issue for generations, prayers and counselling can mend your broken heart 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by agarawu23(m): 7:58am On Jun 22, 2015 |
forget her if your evidence her solid don't abandon her cos you still have a responsibility on her and kids lastly make SURE you do a DNA test for all your kids 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by thorpido(m): 8:09am On Jun 22, 2015 |
What's the proof that she has an affair with the doctor? |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Omotayor123(f): 8:18am On Jun 22, 2015 |
mend it! First ask yourself if you are Ready to protect the marriage at all cost.. You also have to severe your illicit affair. Confirm all suspicion and clear all your doubt. Be sure if your wife wants the same. Do it if not for anything but the kids.# 2 Likes |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Genea(f): 8:20am On Jun 22, 2015 |
Tell her 2 pick you or d doctor ,her answer determines d nxt action |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by 5minsmadness: 8:25am On Jun 22, 2015 |
These doctors sef! OP you don't sound like you want to salvage the matter o. But any idea why she is so attached to the doctor? 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by okpamson15(m): 8:29am On Jun 22, 2015 |
They do u with those on medical field? Forget her with her quark doctor and move on, if u continue u are diging ur grave, notin kil fasta than mariage WAHALA. 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by gabinogem(m): 12:10pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
This is the advantage of premarital sex... Lmao. Life is not a bed of rose. Know who u deal with. Don't ever try to have a broken home. U won't suffer but ur kids will suffer the consequences of ur actions. 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by SirAweezy(m): 12:22pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
You allow your wife drift off from you close to a year..? Do you have evidence she cheated on you with the old Man? You wife as well wasnt ready to live with you anymore why? Any best advice if you come to my court is to dissolve the union. Move on man. If you go back to beg... her ego will grow bigger and you won't be able to control it. This is why I tell intending couples don't drift apart, you only make things difficult. Tell yourselves instantly if this union will still work or not. Because you will be subjecting yourself to mental torture if you leave things to linger for long. 4 Likes |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by kingsley1971: 7:11pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
This is the best time to get close to God. More prayers and fasting as well. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Eshinery(m): 9:22pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
ConfessionsNgr:good wife is so scarce that most ladies pretence during courtship make them appear as one but the moment they get the entry visa they become something else. back to the topic if you can't cope with the situation try DNA and if it persist then do the needful. |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by tiredface: 9:58pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
NAWAOO, YOU PREFER SHE CHEATED WITH A YOUNG DUDE BRO. WHATS YA POINT.? HOW CAN YOU MEND THE MARRIAGE WHEN YOU SAID SHE'LL RATHER SACRIFICE IT THAN GIVE UP HER LOVER OR YOU MEAN MENDING IT WITH THE LOVER BOY DOING HER TOO. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE FUNNY BUT CONFUSED. BRO WAKA GO DO DNA ON THOSE KIDS SHAP SHAP. HER LOVER WAS AROUND BEFORE YOU BRO AND IF THE MAN IS THE TYPE THAT LIKES GOING DOWNTOWN, HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS, SHE MAY NOT WANT TO GIVE UP THOSE ZEXUAL HEALING EASILY. ITS YOUR CALL AND GOOD LUCK SIR. |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Richy4(m): 11:10pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
You have already made up your mind on what to do. Your utterances says it all bro. Both of you are tired of the marriage. You are separated fine, but you are still legally married. You just did the same thing you accused your wife of doing.... Why not just call this wife of yours and tell her that you are willing to bury the hatchet. Agree to meet in an exclusive restaurant and tell her you were sorry that you were willing to believe what ever she says. Ask again if she was seeing the Dr. If she says no, say you believe her. That you want the marriage to work... you were blinded with jealousy... that you know your kids needs you. You are a changed person.. Bla bla bla..... Just act as if it was your fault and she got nothing to do with it... that alone kills conscience a lot. Though it is difficult to implement but if you want to save your marriage..... Forget all i said if you are tired of the marriage... but how sure are you that the new one got no baggage left outside. 1 Like |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by KanwuliaJara: 5:01am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Stories that 'touch'! Series of 'bed time' ke? Another 'anonymous tory'! |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by kilode100(f): 3:07pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
She cheated on you with a grandfather? Lobatan!! Young men of today should stay off Chinese Viagra. He can't get it up any longer Chai .... She go meet Baba oni Baba, Somebody's Father to do that "thing" for her. I am very sorry Poster and if you need anything, pls feel free to ask. 2 Likes |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Nobody: 4:51pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
kilode100: You may be dead wrong assuming he cannot get it up. Follow the story carefully and you would notice the new babe is enjoying him hence she keeps coming for "series of bed time" |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by kilode100(f): 5:19pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
krusdamax: His words abi?? Grandfather knacked his wife!!... Unbelievable!! 3 Likes |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jun 24, 2015 |
kilode100: But you would believe a 70 year old man deflowered 13 year old girl, or Alh ?? married under aged Egyptian! Nairalanders |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by kilode100(f): 2:38am On Jun 25, 2015 |
krusdamax: Guy, that Yerima tale has no bearing on this matter. I can't seem to wrap my head around a young man's wife being snatched by a Grandfather..... It is unheard of, intact it is propesterous, as in, the news leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. That Guy needs to tell us the actual truth and stop these shenanigans. |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Nobody: 4:27am On Jun 25, 2015 |
kilode100: Maybe you just flipped through this story. It is obvious the young man married someone's girlfriend(old man) while the baba has refused to let go of her illicit affair with the babe. The legal husband seems to be a tenant in an old Man's honeypot. Lol |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by usermane(m): 8:31am On Jun 25, 2015 |
As you said, she admit to the relationship but seem unrepentance. If you cannot help the infidelity, there isn, t any much you could do beyond divorce. But have you reported to her parent or family, this is where you ought to start from. She could be trapped and need a little push to break free of the old man 's spell |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by stevecantrell: 1:00pm On Jun 25, 2015 |
She's attached to old Dr's Nepa Cable which is is still 60% functional..instead of your 90% functional garden hose.. Seriously, finish the marriage before the marriage finishes you. Get a DNA test to make sure you're not sending old Drs kids to school with your own money. |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by Nobody: 5:31am On Jun 29, 2015 |
stevecantrell: Where will the OP start from? |
Re: Help! My Marriage Is Collapsing. Should I Move On Or Mend It? by delishpot: 7:23am On Jun 29, 2015 |
Well, a lot of people complain about their other half, but one has to know the attitude and character of those involved to be able to give good judgement. Some partners are rude to their spouses, they dont even listen when the other has complains about how the relationship is going or if they pretend to listen, they claim the complaining partner is nagging them crazy and then, they act all surprised when the bullied partner finds comfort in another persons arms. Then they start listing all they have spent, all the food they have cooked, all the kids they have produced etc. So, with the facts I have at hand, I will say call her and talk things over. If she is repentant and ready to change, you guys should continue. If she says no, then you cant force her. BTW you have also defiled your marital bed by now. Biko dont abandon the kids o. If a DNA will help you feel better when spending on them, Do it now that they are young. Do not tell their mom so she wont use it as a tool against you should she choose to walk out on you. Tell them its just health check. Goodluck 1 Like |
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