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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up (4573 Views)
“My Wife Prays As If She’s Fighting With God– Fed Up Husband Laments. / "My Wife Is A Prostitute" - Husband / My Husband Has Idolised Me And Now I'm Fed Up. Need Help (2) (3) (4)
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Nobody: 9:03am On Jun 28, 2015 |
This must really be a difficult one for you.. Sorry love.... Maybe you have to involve a third party (Family) since he is so adamant that he must be lazy.. |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by arabianights: 9:05am On Jun 28, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: men, you get issue ooooooooo!!!!!!!!! na so you dey beat dead horse, abeg its okay, have a nice weekend and use it on important things not trivial issues that dont add value to your life. 1 Like |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by EfemenaXY: 9:11am On Jun 28, 2015 |
arabianights: Thanks. Now move on. 2 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Nobody: 9:20am On Jun 28, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:You aren't gaining anything from him, instead you are losing your money and your head. Your situation is like an organism that has an ectoparasite parasiting on it but feels the parasite contributes to it's beauty. Your children are your future; invest heavily in them (both morally and financially). |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by EfemenaXY: 9:28am On Jun 28, 2015 |
mohammedabiodun: Oh, you mean her. Okay, I get you. 4 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Nobody: 9:30am On Jun 28, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:Yes, the lady 2 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by AWONEYAN(m): 9:36am On Jun 28, 2015 |
Hello friends, Did u say he still mess around with a woman using ur hard erned cash? And all in his mind is on out to get more girls when his finances is ok. .... Am a xtian who belive in sanctity of marriage as "for better for worse" but in dis case you are not married to a resoponsible man...his quest to make money and use it to spite you might drive him to use you for money rituals one day.... Please involve. A 3rd party. Your pastor (or d one who joins you). And his parent or a reasonable person in his family. Then some 1 from you family. Then make this points clear. 1. Tell them hou much you have spent for him to be financialy depenedent 2. Ttell them of his laziness tendency and his habit of lying in couch from mornig till nite 3. Tell them of his spiteful vegeance of looking for other woman. Lastly tell then you are not continuing. Its either he take up the duty oh house help. And you dismis your house help and you will foot all bills or lethim go n get a job 2 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Raymie(m): 10:52am On Jun 28, 2015 |
Rent another apartment, Schedule his appointments, Organize movers. At a time when he's out, clear out the house or take all yhur money's worth in the union. Go with yhur kids. Start divorce proceedings from yhur new base. It is not by force to get married, or in OP's case, STAY married. He's worse than an infidel according to 1 Tim. 5:8 for the 'sanctimonious' ones, grounds for divorce IMO. 8 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Jetjacky(m): 11:16am On Jun 28, 2015 |
Because you're not in her shoes, other avenues should be explored. [color=#000000][/color] Roland17: |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by keepingmum: 11:41am On Jun 28, 2015 |
Hi poster. I have and still am in similar shoes wt u. Been married almost 11 years n the bread winner of the homem did I mention I am under 30? See my 1st topic on this forum .... I know exactly how u feel and trust me only u can decide what's best for u. God ll direct u aright ijn |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by flyca: 2:45pm On Jun 28, 2015 |
See, when you exit a door, it is better to move out quitletly. Nobody knows tomorrow. I believe the man has some good parts that you didn't mention (the reason you married him in the first place). Who knows, he might be in middle-age crisis or having some challenges he's been struggling with over these years. Who knows? Ma, my advice is move out. Don't think divorce yet. If you can, pls leave him 6 months to the expiration of your rent, so he can have enough time to prepare for his next tenancy renewal. Move to another apartment with your children. Preferably, he shouldn't know your new address. If in future, the scales fall off his eyes, he can trace you. If he doesn't, you are better of without him. Take care of yourself and your beautiful kids. Hugs! 2 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Roland17(m): 4:13pm On Jun 28, 2015 |
Jetjacky: Agreed I am not in her shoes and cannot empathize with her situation but I and the others have been through challenges that tests our resolve to remain sane, making irrational decision based off surface issues could end up detrimental to her and her children, it's called marriage and bare in mind she accepted some responsibilities for this problems considering she knew he had some of this audacious and irresponsible traits but she delved into the marriage with hopes some it could be sorted out, I hope this statement is not construed to mean beating a dead horse. I am in no way supporting the lazy man who has thrown the male breed to the gutters of shame and mediocrity but being pragmatic is the best solution here, the lady barely has any savings to support herself, she has to set that aspect straight most importantly. Marriage is not boyfriend, girlfriend where you decide to walk out whenever the tide swings against you, no one and I mean no party has the right to threaten the survival of any marriage, you don't want to leave a marriage and look back and wish there were things you could done or avenues you could have explored. Many come here to suggest divorce like it's supposed to be very easy especially when you are emotionally attached to your partner, divorce demands a lot of patience, courage and maturity and meant to be the last and only resort left not the first option.. Explore more avenues, you alone know the things and the actions he took that made you marry him despite his shortcomings which you already alluded to, start funding an emergency account and at most if he is still indifferent about the whole situation move out of the house, ensure he knows you are going with his children and where you are going, maybe to your family's or his whichever is comfortable for you to save cost. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Jetjacky(m): 4:20pm On Jun 28, 2015 |
I like Roland17: |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by egbaguy: 1:05pm On Jun 30, 2015 |
I pity the OP.......'Boys' like this eventually kill their wives!!!! 1 Like |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by 90love(f): 9:24pm On Jul 02, 2015 |
Im so annoyed that alot of women r advising this lady to walk away from her marriage thats the worst advise she can be given. Listen, there are many steps u can take before making such a huge decision which will affect your children remember there will be no going back after!! Optiona A if he is mature Sit your hubby down and talk to him let him know your really struggling and its becoming increasongly hard to make ends meet. Dont let him know how much your business is producing either coz hel be counting yohr pocket. Unfortunately hes just a spoilt man hes managed to get away with being pampered for so long that this is the result. Option B if hes hard of hearing 1. Put less beef in his food 2. Dont serve him many diff meals serve him more eba and white rice. No money for fish and all those things for efo or egusi 3. Come home later from work claim traffic and car breakdown or problems at work-make him sympathise 4. Complain of body pains If he thinks everything is easy for u he wont care bt wen he sees its affecting u hel think twice n wen his food becomes affected hel really see. |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by kukuruku156(f): 8:26am On Jul 03, 2015 |
keepingmum: @ OP, for me nothing beats experience. Maybe you should PM this poster and you guys rub minds. It is well. |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by Tobiegal(f): 11:17am On Jul 03, 2015 |
Dearest OP, your situation is really a very sad one, welldone for being so strong and supportive the entire 5 years despite all odds. So, am gonna liken your situation to a former colleague of mine, unfortunately she's late now... and, we only got to know of her sad situation after she died. She was the bread winner for her family, with 3 kids for 5 years... unfortunately, she couldnt surmount the burden. She died, and guess what, we her colleagues had to contribute money for her hubby as support to the burial, and also her kids education. Bottomline is, nothing worthwhile comes easy... getting married and staying married is a decision we along can make... Its truly up to you to decide. Wish you all the very best. |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by gabbytabby: 1:21pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
My advice relates to things within your control cos 5 years is a long time and it starts to take God at that point 1) You need to go on birth control cos you cannot and dare not bring anymore children into that environment. 2) Thank God everyday for the two children that you have and your first job needs to be how to shield and protect and provide for them. 3) Unfortunately there is a fine line between being a helper and being an enabler and you have been the later for a major part of your marriage. 4) Thank God that you have a job. You say you have a business and he is not allowed to do things because he makes mistakes, is it possible that you are a perfectionist and might have some control issues hence him leaving it to you. You chose him to be the head of your home such that it might be necessary to let him get better than have him leave it all to you. 5)Do not leave him or divorce him as even a lazy husband has some value, do not kill yourself either but do what is absolutely necessary. You have to cook for your children so one more child (sorry husband) should not be any skin off your nose. Let him help himself to food since he is not doing much else, do not do it in a I am fighting with you way but I am so tired today please feed the children and go straight to bed, you might throw feeling ill and put on some rob for effect. 6) I do not know how you pay for your bills but if possible set up direct debits to get your bills paid 2 days after you get paid as its money that is lying around that a lazy man can borrow. This aspects is what determines the fate of the union as they might leave or start looking for another who will give them money. 7) How do you speak to a man who has children but is too proud and says a job which is a means of providing for his family is beneath him. However, he does not see the irony or sense of lack of pride in letting a woman keep him for years and years. Granted at times we find ourselves in situations where we are jobless for a while and have to rely on our partner but if we are in this together why does he think that helping in other ways is a no no. Speak you must speak to him about how you need to work together. Women have to learn to start as they intend to go on and learn to spot the warning signs. Let your man lead, he needs to be with you because he wants to and not need to be there because of what you give him as most of those relationship do not last. I wish you well and you need a lot of patience, wisdom and diplomacy. Also stay close to your family and those you trust to have your back cos you will need an outlet at times. |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by banmeandquench: 1:27pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
goodmorning40:as usual team prayer and fasting crew what an advice |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by banmeandquench: 1:28pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
you have finally won the grammy award of being mrs so please keep your mouth shut and get to work next |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by lolababe331e: 6:17pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
My biggest concern is the negative things your children are learning. Your kids will start thinking it's okay for a Daddy to sit around all day doing nothing and living off his wife. If you are not careful, your son will grow up to be just like him and your daughter will marry someone just like that since they will think that's normal behavior. At times parents stay in bad marriages saying it's for the kids not knowing they are doing more damage to the children. 3 Likes |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by goodmorning40: 10:00pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
banmeandquench:Team divorce pack and go group Close ur teeth before flies feed on them |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by rudebouy: 11:27pm On Jul 03, 2015 |
Wow! I cant even imagine wot ur going tru. I dont even know wot to say to you sef. It is well oh! |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by baralatie(m): 12:58am On Jul 04, 2015 |
honeric01:it won't work |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by baralatie(m): 12:59am On Jul 04, 2015 |
lolababe331e:over generalization |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by baralatie(m): 1:02am On Jul 04, 2015 |
gabbytabby: |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by baralatie(m): 1:11am On Jul 04, 2015 |
gabbytabby:sorry I had to edit but the key is a positive mentality and a Lear head. God bless. will come after the cut! |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by banmeandquench: 5:44pm On Jul 20, 2015 |
goodmorning40: we can see how things have become better in nigeria due to the effect of prayer and fasting warriors And no I won't close my teeth because I have to flaunt my 32 |
Re: When An Over Worked Wife Is Fed Up by honeric01(m): 9:56am On Jul 22, 2015 |
baralatie:Because? |
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