izzieman:


Seriously? How do you come about that conclusion brother?

I did not just come to the conclusion. I did not say it's not possible, but there are lotss of things you have not taken into factor. Make I no derail

interesting....

chimkaire:
watch your post disappear in a jiffy
Annoying the hell outta sane peeps by quoting a post as long as this

<scoffs> who cares?

Jdesilentkiller:
In Nollywood, somebody wanted to commit suicide and he shot himself in the head................THREE TIMES!!

Lol!

His head is strong

In nollywood yoruba, where they play Celine Dion) (my heart will go on), in a babalawo scene..

Number 24 got me laughing so hard.

sonofananimal:


I HATE NIGERIA FIRM CAUSE GHOST DEY OPEN DOOR COME MEET PERSON


I HATE HOLLYWOOD FIRM CAUSE BLACK MAN DEY ALWAYS DIE FIRST

3BOTTLES OF ORIJIN 4 DS GUY, BROS WHO DEY SERVICE UR BRAIN? DAT PERSON SABI WORK ABEG, I KNW LIK 8 HOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHERE BLACK MEN FIRST DIED B4 THEIR WHITE COUNTERPARTS... ESP HORROR FILMS, D WORST B SAY NA ONLY DAT BLACK GUY DEY IN MIDST OF WHITE, AND HE LL STILL DIE FIRST. DATS RACISM NAA... AND I MUST PROTEST.

Minemrys:

s0mething i learnt from superman films. Krypt0nite is never scarce but the questi0n is why d0n't criminals use it in metropolis. The joker is a maniac but batman will never kill him.

Watch the dark knight returns part 2

I like your number 8 best.

All soldiers take note

mrlaw93:
Is this meant to be funny and i didnt laugh?

u must be suffering from a disease called 'nofun'....I suggest u see a quack doctor.

great664:
..

actor will always jump out the window, a second before the bomb explodes

CrazyScientist:
Here are 30 things films have led us to believe (Especially Hollywood & Nollywood).Here are few i decided to share for laughs.


#7.It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Number 7 was on mythbusters. For modern passenger planes, this is almost always true, due to the more advanced avionics available...

Only in Nollywood Jim Iyke dey cut Gallas even wen clipper nor dey.
Wen u go Lagos u mk money, remain in village, continue wt ur broke *ss.
Only in Nollywood drivers dey live 4 mansion.

Only in Nollywood Jim Iyke dey cut Gallas even wen clipper nor dey.
Wen u go Lagos u mk money, remain in village, continue wt ur broke *ss.
Only in Nollywood drivers dey live 4 mansion.

AbuMikey:

Why booking space? Grow up

chigoizie7:
And all these lies in the movies, especially "telemundo" ha been killing relationships from time immemorial.







Mtcheeeew.

abi oh, their stories are all the same. the big difference I see is the title of the movies. and d deep d movie goes d more annoying it becomes

Minemrys:

s0mething i learnt from superman films. Krypt0nite is never scarce but the questi0n is why d0n't criminals use it in metropolis. The joker is a maniac but batman will never kill him.

Not everyone knows about the krptonite!

SuzieeDee:

abi oh, their stories are all the same. the big difference I see is the title of the movies. and d deep d movie goes d more annoying it becomes

I hope u ve not been expecting ur guy or hubby to be dat kind of romantic they display there, otherwise OYO is ur case.



Hapi sunday

chigoizie7:




I hope u ve not been expecting ur guy or hubby to be dat kind of romantic they display there, otherwise OYO is ur case.



Hapi sunday

no be for mexico dem born romance oh, we get our own style... u no

SuzieeDee:

no be for mexico dem born romance oh, we get our own style... u no

Sharp, thank God u know that,


Many gals have been expecting their bf's to be dat kind of romantic to them, and if he is not, then, she presumes, he does not love her enuf. And trouble ensues,





Keep our local romance going, dear.

One African,

One Nigeria,

One Love

ghostwritter:

u must be suffering from a disease called 'nofun'....I suggest u see a quack doctor.

lolz

Nollywood : You'll see Ini Edo or Tonto Dike acting village girl roles yet they have fake eyelashes on, complete with brightly painted artificial nails and lace wig(hidden by tying a huge scarf on their head).

Female actresses never change their hairdo even after writing "5 years later."

A young Ini Edo would be light skinned while the real ini Edo, years later, would be dark.

Why did'nt you add bollywood. You will see when husband and wife died, they did go to heaven and return. Pavitra rishta

Well well


FOR HOLLYWOOD:

A) Only in hollywood, during a hostage situation where the hostage taker knows the every move of the fbi, cia and lapd join(calling him an aggrieved SEAL, marine, etc) He go sabi when dem try one tunnel wey lead to the building. Why the guy in question no go kukuma go the hq of the 3security bodies and reck havoc there?

And alll are open to negotiations.

B)only in hollywood, where a special camera the speed of a bullet in motion tracks the bullet as it flies past 3shops, two buses and one canopy before it hits target.

C) during a road rash with the police, the guy in question always beats them and damages the police cars and zooms off with just one slight bash as evidence.

D) the father is a scientist and died before completing his findings. Son grows up and ends his father's work with successes. Spiderman and godzilla nawa o

E) spy groups under legal conditions in the country are always the triads network.


As for NOLLYWOOD...

1) ghost making a call to tokunbo who is smiling at the other end of the phone and even sipping wine. Haba!!

2) Saidi balogun stabs the water thrice with the camera focussed on his bulgy, blood thirsty eyes atm, and suddenly the lady in the bathtub is dead, the water turns red! Why not show us where the stabbing was going?

3)where aki and pawpaw are the ronaldo and messi of their team, and they dribble and taller guys fall and they even do R2 for keeper and score(Last world cup film). Of course, all were done in slowmotion now!

5)Mr Ibu na mechanic and camera no go show what he is repairing, all we know is he tells the driver to start and that's all. lobatan

6) Ali Nuhu sings about love for 11mins+ and becomes cool the next scene in an hausa film

7)Every kidnap case is linked to a ritualist who knows one badoolee who in turn is connected to Kenneth Okonkwo, who is the assistant to the governor. The badolee is always Hanks Anuku!

8 ) the babe did a charm for the guy to love her and forgets about the "conditions" of the bablao's (brazilian pronunciation of babalawo) charm.

9) osuofia in london and suddenly many films with the suffix "in london" here and there.

10) these addresses are always at the beginning of alllll home videos- Idumota lagos, erm wait... Alagbado lagos, which one again sef. Na only idumota i dey hear pass sha

11) all dying old men die with a cough. Camera made mistake once when the widow still crieth and the "dead body" adjusted on the hospital bed. Which reminds me....

The hospital is any place, animal or thing inasmuch it has a drip stand and a dressed nurse and bed. Then a keyboardist, flutist plays a pitiful hopeful tune to make the viewer "adapt"


make i retire

mrlaw93:
Is this meant to be funny and i didnt laugh?

Maybe you didn't get it .. or your problem is bigger than the punchlines in the write up ... no disrespect intended.

daveP:

10) these addresses are always at the beginning of alllll home videos- Idumota lagos, erm wait... Alagbado lagos, which one again sef. Na only idumota i dey hear pass

Ever heard of no 52 iweka road onitsha ..which is always followed by plot three, two, one Aba... and why the hell is that guy so fast ?..I mean the guy advertising..is he tryin' to minimize commercial expense..or what?

Khameal007:



Ever heard of no 52 iweka road onitsha ..which is always followed by plot three, two, one Aba... and why the hell is that guy so fast ?..I mean the guy advertising..is he tryin' to minimize commercial expense..or what?

its been long i brought one home video. Infact i was in primary school or so. So i dont know the "updated addresses"

Khameal007:



Maybe you didn't get it .. or your problem is bigger than the punchlines in the write up ... no disrespect intended.

lonelydora:

He would have known how rainbows are formed, that there's nothing strange about it.

Una try..

medexico:

Not everyone knows about the krptonite!

and why is it that they kn0w it all of a sudden when the plot requires it?

daveP:
its been long i brought one home video. Infact i was in primary school or so. So i dont know the "updated addresses"

I wasn't referring to the movie as a whole.. my emphasis were on the commercials... or its been long you watched a television too?

Khameal007:


I wasn't referring to the movie as a whole.. my emphasis were on the commercials... or its been long you watched a television too?

yeah. That's why i used "updated address"

cos they do say the place one can purchase it during the commerecials.

daveP:
yeah. That's why i used "updated address"
cos they do say the place one can purchase it during the commerecials.

ok