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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Policeman And Doctors (4050 Views)
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Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 5:22pm On Mar 07, 2009 |
policeman and doctors Salesman to Policeman A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." Kidneys and Livers Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment." "So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend. "Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure you'll die of a kidney ailment." |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by gatarca(m): 4:33am On Mar 08, 2009 |
nice one |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by ituen(m): 6:54am On Mar 09, 2009 |
tight joke thumbs up poster |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by YHUsTLER(m): 7:41am On Mar 09, 2009 |
NICE JOKES bilms YOU TRY GANNN |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 2:40pm On Mar 09, 2009 |
Difference between men and women when getting cash from an ATM Men Drive to the bank, park, go to the cash dispenser Insert card Dial code and desired amount Take the cash, the card and the slip Women Drive to the bank Engine stalled Check make-up in the mirror Apply perfume Manually check haircut Park the car - failure Park the car - failure Park the car - success Search for the card in the handbag Insert card, rejected by the machine Throw phonecard back in handbag Look for bank card Insert card Look for the chit (where secret code written) in handbag Enter code Study instructions for 2 minutes #Cancel# Re-enter code #Cancel# Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct code Enter huge amount #Error# Enter large amount #Error# Enter smaller amount Cross fingers Take cash Go back to the car Check make up in rear mirror Look for keys in handbag Start car Drive 50 meters STOP Drive back to bank machine Get out of the car Take card and ticket back from machine Go back to the car Throw card on passenger seat Throw slip on the floor Check make up in rear mirror Manually check haircut Go into roundabout - wrong way BRAKE!! Go into roundabout - right way Drive 5 kilometers Remove hand brake Stop at mall Spend money Go back to step 1 |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 6:37pm On Mar 10, 2009 |
A devil walked into heaven and was immediately spotted by an angel. The angel asked: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?? Only angels allowed!! The devil calmly answered: yes i know that and dont worry i am an angel. the horns are there to keep the halo up |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by sylve11: 7:57pm On Mar 10, 2009 |
@blims, nice jokejo. |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 10:13am On Mar 11, 2009 |
Born to die! One day, for one some reason or another, Mullah Nasruddin goes around to his friend Ahmed's house and asks if he can borrow a pot for a day or two. His neighbour knowing Mullah Nasruddin is reluctant, but eventually agrees as they've been close friends for many years. The very next day, Mullah Nasruddin returns two pots and explains to the over-delighted Ahmed that the first pot gave birth to the second pot. A week later, Mullah Nasruddin asks Ahmed if he can borrow two pots. Ahmed immediately agrees – for the obvious reason. But to Ahmed's dismay, Mullah Nasruddin never returns the pots, so he asks Mullah Nasruddin if he can have his pots back, but the Mullah Nasruddin explains that tragically both pots have died. Ahmed is incensed. "How can a pot die?" he demands. "You believed it when a pot gave birth," said Mullah Nasruddin. "Why should you not believe that a pot dies?" |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 10:18am On Mar 11, 2009 |
nice one |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 11:05am On Mar 11, 2009 |
cheers |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 1:13pm On Mar 11, 2009 |
three men (an english irish and scotish) were trying to escape from a german prison camp. they didn't get as far as they had hope when they saw the grermans coming up bhind them. lukily they found 3 saks near them. they quikly hid in the saks b4 the germans caught sight of them as the general drew closer he pulled out his sword. he poked the 1st bag sak containin the english man with his sword and in responce 2 dis the english man sed meow meow the general sed dats my cat n moved on 2 da next sak he stuk his sword lightly in the sak containin the scotish man hu in return sed woof woof thats my dog thought the general and moved on 2 the last sak wen he poked the irish man with his sword the irish man tryin 2 b as clever as his frends sed patato patato |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 9:16pm On Mar 11, 2009 |
An old Arab man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Abdul, who used to help him, was being held by the FBI for aiding and abetting terrorists.The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his Predicament. Dear Abdul, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Your Dad, Mohammad. A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad, For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the biological weapons. Love, Abdul. At 4a.m. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any weapons. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do Under the circumstances. Love, Abdul. Best Regards IJAZ LATIF |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by sexyLeamon(f): 8:06am On Mar 12, 2009 |
keep them rolling |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 8:44am On Mar 12, 2009 |
nice one |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by sylve11: 9:05am On Mar 12, 2009 |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 9:11am On Mar 12, 2009 |
aba goggle |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by sylve11: 9:40am On Mar 12, 2009 |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by ajekpaks(m): 11:53am On Mar 12, 2009 |
All this terrorists them get sense like hell |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 12:41pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
alhaji and his wife, this alhaji dislike banana, but the wife love it. he brought his wife from kano to abuja so she does'nt no anywhere. the wife could not go out to buy because she is a kulle woman ( complete house wife an no going out) an seconly she does'nt no any where,that is an hausa style u no now. so the wife always beg alhaji to buy her banana, but he wont, since he does'nt like it. one day, this alhaji was amoung his friends an they called a banana seller, everybody buy and for this alhaji he said, well even if i wont eat, i will buy for my hajiya. he bought this banana for the first time. when he got home, after resting, he called his wife, hajiya alima, guess what, she said what, i bought u a banana. the wife said kai alhaji, u re lying. he said, no am serious. okay go and take it from my bag, she got there and suprisingly, she saw the banana. she was so happy and when she wanted to thank the alhaji, she said, i dont even no how to say thank u, but all i could say is that, this banana looks like ur dickk, lol the alhaji look down to his trouser and laghed. they both enter the room and eat the banana together. |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by clemcykul(f): 12:52pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
*laffs* |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 1:09pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
:-x :-x :-x |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 1:37pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
lolabbey, i no no y u dey always condem me, or i thief ur undess? make una help me ask her oooooooooooooo? |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 1:37pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
lolabbey, i no no y u dey always condem me, or i thief ur undess? make una help me ask her oooooooooooooo? lol |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by yysl: 1:54pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
dont mine lola, i gbadun u. go ahead who do u believe in? |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 1:58pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
woman rapper abov me |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 2:07pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
if i be woman rappa, he no good? no be some people be man rappa? abi u want talk say u no gbadun as i rappa u? |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 2:25pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
A family in Karachi was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA . It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin with no space left in it ! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top , which read as follows: "Dear brothers and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the grave yard in mewa shah. Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leaves are consumed. You will find inside the coffin , under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Kassam Bhai . Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Jubeda's and Jarina's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Sattar Bhai and the others are for my nephews. Just distribute them among yourselves. The 2 new Jeans that Amma is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Johra Bai wanted is on Amma's left wrist. Kulsum Aunty, Amma is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them. The 6 white cotton socks that Amma is wearing must be divided among my teenager nephews. Please distribute all these uniformly and if anything more required tell me now, since our Abba is also not keeping well nowadays ." |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by D1KeleVra(m): 4:22pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
Abeg forgive me i no read any of these long things. |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 4:25pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
i photocopy u |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 4:30pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
lolabbey i no u already |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by Lolabbey: 4:34pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
wetin wan cause d meeting of ant and lion |
Re: Policeman And Doctors by bilms(m): 4:44pm On Mar 12, 2009 |
na animal carnival. abi na watin? see u |
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