policeman and doctors


Salesman to Policeman
A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

Kidneys and Livers
Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment."

"So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend.

"Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure you'll die of a kidney ailment."

nice one

tight joke

thumbs up poster

NICE JOKES bilms

YOU TRY GANNN

Difference between men and women when getting cash from an ATM



Men
Drive to the bank, park, go to the cash dispenser
Insert card
Dial code and desired amount
Take the cash, the card and the slip
Women
Drive to the bank
Engine stalled
Check make-up in the mirror
Apply perfume
Manually check haircut
Park the car - failure
Park the car - failure
Park the car - success
Search for the card in the handbag
Insert card, rejected by the machine
Throw phonecard back in handbag
Look for bank card
Insert card
Look for the chit (where secret code written) in handbag
Enter code
Study instructions for 2 minutes
#Cancel#
Re-enter code
#Cancel#
Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct code
Enter huge amount
#Error#
Enter large amount
#Error#
Enter smaller amount
Cross fingers
Take cash
Go back to the car
Check make up in rear mirror
Look for keys in handbag
Start car
Drive 50 meters
STOP
Drive back to bank machine
Get out of the car
Take card and ticket back from machine
Go back to the car
Throw card on passenger seat
Throw slip on the floor
Check make up in rear mirror
Manually check haircut
Go into roundabout - wrong way
BRAKE!!
Go into roundabout - right way
Drive 5 kilometers
Remove hand brake
Stop at mall
Spend money
Go back to step 1

A devil walked into heaven and was immediately spotted by an angel.

The angel asked: WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?? Only angels allowed!!

The devil calmly answered: yes i know that and dont worry i am an angel. the horns are there to keep the halo up

@blims,
nice jokejo.

Born to die!


One day, for one some reason or another, Mullah Nasruddin goes around to his friend Ahmed's house and asks if he can borrow a pot for a day or two. His neighbour knowing Mullah Nasruddin is reluctant, but eventually agrees as they've been close friends for many years.

The very next day, Mullah Nasruddin returns two pots and explains to the over-delighted Ahmed that the first pot gave birth to the second pot.

A week later, Mullah Nasruddin asks Ahmed if he can borrow two pots. Ahmed immediately agrees – for the obvious reason.

But to Ahmed's dismay, Mullah Nasruddin never returns the pots, so he asks Mullah Nasruddin if he can have his pots back, but the Mullah Nasruddin explains that tragically both pots have died.

Ahmed is incensed. "How can a pot die?" he demands.

"You believed it when a pot gave birth," said Mullah Nasruddin. "Why should you not believe that a pot dies?"

nice one

cheers

three men (an english irish and scotish) were trying to escape from a german prison camp.

they didn't get as far as they had hope when they saw the grermans coming up bhind them. lukily they found 3 saks near them. they quikly hid in the saks b4 the germans caught sight of them

as the general drew closer he pulled out his sword. he poked the 1st bag sak containin the english man with his sword and in responce 2 dis the english man sed meow meow
the general sed dats my cat n moved on 2 da next sak
he stuk his sword lightly in the sak containin the scotish man hu in return sed
woof woof
thats my dog thought the general and moved on 2 the last sak
wen he poked the irish man with his sword the irish man tryin 2 b as clever as his frends sed
patato patato

An old Arab man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but
it was very hard work. His only son, Abdul, who used to help him, was being held
by the FBI for aiding and abetting terrorists.The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his Predicament.
Dear Abdul,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't able to plant my potato
garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If
you were here, all my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me.
Your Dad,
Mohammad.

A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the
biological weapons.
Love,
Abdul.
At 4a.m. the next morning, F.B.I. agents and local police showed up and dug up
the entire area without finding any weapons. They apologized to the old man and
left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do
Under the circumstances.
Love,
Abdul.

Best Regards
IJAZ LATIF

keep them rolling

nice one

aba goggle

All this terrorists them get sense like hell

alhaji and his wife,

this alhaji dislike banana, but the wife love it. he brought his wife from kano to abuja so she does'nt no anywhere.

the wife could not go out to buy because she is a kulle woman ( complete house wife an no going out) an seconly she does'nt no any where,that is an hausa style u no now.

so the wife always beg alhaji to buy her banana, but he wont, since he does'nt like it. one day, this alhaji was amoung his friends an they called a banana seller, everybody buy and for this alhaji he said, well even if i wont eat, i will buy for my hajiya. he bought this banana for the first time.

when he got home, after resting, he called his wife, hajiya alima, guess what, she said what, i bought u a banana. the wife said kai alhaji, u re lying. he said, no am serious.

okay go and take it from my bag, she got there and suprisingly, she saw the banana. she was so happy and when she wanted to thank the alhaji, she said, i dont even no how to say thank u, but all i could say is that, this banana looks like ur dickk,

lol

the alhaji look down to his trouser and laghed.

they both enter the room and eat the banana together.

*laffs*

:-x :-x :-x

lolabbey, i no no y u dey always condem me, or i thief ur undess?

make una help me ask her oooooooooooooo?

lolabbey, i no no y u dey always condem me, or i thief ur undess?

make una help me ask her oooooooooooooo?

lol

dont mine lola,
i gbadun u.
go ahead

---

_{who do u believe in?}

woman rapper abov me

if i be woman rappa, he no good?

no be some people be man rappa?

abi u want talk say u no gbadun as i rappa u?

A family in
Karachi was puzzled
when the coffin of their dead mother
arrived from the USA . It was sent by
one of the daughters. The dead body
was so tightly squeezed inside the
coffin with no space left in it !
When they opened the
lid, they found a letter
on top , which read as follows:


"Dear brothers
and sisters, I am sending our mother's body to
you, since it was her wish that she should be
cremated in the grave yard in mewa shah.
Sorry, I could not come along as all
of my paid leaves are consumed.
You will find inside
the coffin ,
under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese,
10 packets of chocolates and 8 packets
of Badam.
Please divide these among
all of you. On Amma's feet you will
find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10)
for Kassam Bhai . Also, there are 2 pairs
of shoes for Jubeda's and Jarina's sons.
Hope the sizes are correct.
Amma is
wearing 6 American T-Shirts.
The large size is
for Sattar
Bhai
and the others are for my nephews.
Just distribute them among yourselves.
The 2 new Jeans that Amma is wearing
are for the boys. The Swiss watch that
Johra
Bai wanted is on Amma's left wrist.
Kulsum Aunty,
Amma is wearing the
necklace, earrings and ring that you
asked for. Please take them. The 6 white
cotton socks that Amma is wearing
must be divided among my teenager nephews.
Please distribute all these uniformly and
if anything more required tell me now,
since our Abba is also not keeping well
nowadays ."

Abeg forgive me i no read any of these long things.

i photocopy u

lolabbey i no u already

wetin wan cause d meeting of ant and lion

na animal carnival.

abi na watin?

see u