3 Ways To Fight With Your Wife/husband Without Destroying Your Marriage - Family - Nairaland
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| 3 Ways To Fight With Your Wife/husband Without Destroying Your Marriage by vjsmiles: 8:16am On Jul 11, 2015 |
All couples disagree about some things. For some it is in-laws, for others it is money, dividing up household responsibilities, or how to discipline the kids. As long as two individuals live together there will be always be different ideas and opinions. The issue becomes serious when parents don’t know how to resolve their disagreements with dignity and respect. Children grow up seeing constant conflict and hearing their parents bicker. They live with negativity and inappropriate ways of dealing with marital discord. How can a couple work out their differences without hurting each other and destroying their marriage? 1.Establish rules of engagement No matter how opinionated you are or how correct you feel you in your views, you do not have the right to put down your spouse. We should never believe that we can strip another person of their dignity; and certainly not our partner in life. Children cannot grow up thinking that it is okay to belittle, yell, scream, intimidate, mock, threaten, put down, or be hostile to one another just because you have a difference of opinion. Of course it goes without saying that physical violence – grabbing, shoving, or any other means of physical assault is out of the question. Unfortunately, when we become passionate about our views we act in ways that we come to regret afterwards. Husbands and wives should sit down before the conflicts occur and establish rules of conduct for when they disagree. This way we ensure that we deal with our differences in a respectful manner. We certainly cannot expect more from our children’s behavior than we do from ourselves. 2. Discover the Source of your Anger There are times that we allow emotions to simmer until they boil over. There comes a huge blow-up and we have no idea why this fight became so hostile. The problem is that we are angry about other things and all the emotion comes out now. Don’t allow emotions to go unchecked. If you are upset, communicate with your spouse in a respectful way. Otherwise, you will find yourself exploding and overreacting. This type of fighting quickly becomes all-consuming as pent up anger threatens to overtake the conversation. 3. Be Solution Oriented Many fights are just accusations, complaints or criticisms flung against each other. We’ve got to stop playing the blame game and learn to live in unity. Life will bring us challenges. No one is immune. Arguing about whose fault it is accomplishes zero. Instead of going back and forth, decide to seek solutions together. The way to do this is after we communicate our emotions, instead of just leaving the discussion with bad feeling, practice good communication skills. If you have a sarcastic edge, bite your tongue. Take a moment and reflect back what you believe your spouse is trying to tell you. Try to consider your partner’s perspective; you cannot always be right. Resolve that you both attempt to bring a solution to the table and discuss the ways you can make this work. Once you do find resolution – be it an apology and forgiveness, a fresh approach in dealing with work and money issues, a more effective discipline plan – do not go backwards and bring up old complaints. Solutions bring us forward. Do not rehash old arguments. Hostile fighting depletes us and destroys the most precious relationship that we have. We can resolve our disagreements respectfully and create an atmosphere of peace despite our differences. Good day. |
| Re: 3 Ways To Fight With Your Wife/husband Without Destroying Your Marriage by Chopet(m): 8:18am On Jul 11, 2015 |
Okay |
| Re: 3 Ways To Fight With Your Wife/husband Without Destroying Your Marriage by chybykee(m): 8:23am On Jul 11, 2015 |
Okay oh |
| Re: 3 Ways To Fight With Your Wife/husband Without Destroying Your Marriage by jerflakes(m): 9:46am On Jul 11, 2015 |
op e be like say you neva jam better quarrel before. Mr and Mrs Smith na child's play. |
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