stillwater I think most people agree with you. It is just that the 5:30 thing is just too much. I bet the kids just feel like she is a nag. I remember that we always tried to please our mom by going above and beyond but she would still complain as soon as she walks through the front door. My dad had to even let her have it once when she did that to us. I don't even think she realized that she was not being appreciative. I think the chores are okay for the older kid but lets not forget that they are still kids and I personally think that she is doing a good job with teaching them responsibility

So yesterday I was off from work, took the day, and I decided I would do so of thier chores and time myself.

Living and game room - picked up both and vaccumed - 20 mins
Mop dinning room and foyer on hands and knees - 20 mins + 10 mins to dry
Cleaned the bathroom - 16 mins


I dont require he mops on his hands and knees everyday just Saturday or Sunday which ever is the top to bottom clean day.

So for the 11 year old he has to:
Mop kitchen, dinning room, foyer - 45 mins
Take out trash - 10 mins
Clean room - 30 mins

he should be done by the time I get home

and the same for the rest, even if i give him an extra 25 mins to do the floor, which he should not need, I dont understand how I am asking too much.

Home at 3 pm
break 3:20
Snack -3:45
chores 5:15 chores done
homework -6:30

5:30 - 6 pm mommy gets home
homework done by 630 now he can go play until dinner and play after dinner.

Last night I did all thier chores before they came home so I asked the 9 year old to clean out the coat closet and hang all the coats. She started at 4pm still at 730 she was working on the closet. It should have took all of 20-30 mins to do. Her friends came to door to ask if she could come outside, but she had to say no because she was still doing the closet. Then she cries when i yell. I yell because if i dont stand right over top of her tapping my feet she wont do it. And if i have to stand there I might as well do it myself. That girl is so lazy and no man is going to want a lazy woman.

sistawoman:

So yesterday I was off from work, took the day, and I decided I would do so of thier chores and time myself.

Living and game room - picked up both and vaccumed - 20 mins
Mop dinning room and foyer on hands and knees - 20 mins + 10 mins to dry
Cleaned the bathroom - 16 mins


I dont require he mops on his hands and knees everyday just Saturday or Sunday which ever is the top to bottom clean day.

So for the 11 year old he has to:
Mop kitchen, dinning room, foyer - 45 mins
Take out trash - 10 mins
Clean room - 30 mins

he should be done by the time I get home

and the same for the rest, even if i give him an extra 25 mins to do the floor, which he should not need, I dont understand how I am asking too much.

Home at 3 pm
break 3:20
Snack -3:45
chores 5:15 chores done
homework -6:30

5:30 - 6 pm mommy gets home
homework done by 630 now he can go play until dinner and play after dinner.

Last night I did all thier chores before they came home so I asked the 9 year old to clean out the coat closet and hang all the coats. She started at 4pm still at 730 she was working on the closet. It should have took all of 20-30 mins to do. Her friends came to door to ask if she could come outside, but she had to say no because she was still doing the closet. Then she cries when i yell. I yell because if i dont stand right over top of her tapping my feet she wont do it. And if i have to stand there I might as well do it myself. That girl is so lazy and no man is going to want a lazy woman.

mmmm why did you create this thread sister?

Na wa o. Abeg these children will put ex lax in your juice o.

JJYOU:

mmmm why did you create this thread sister?

Because I thought I was going crazy and asking too much, because I wanted to discuss strategies with other parents and how they handled chores and responsibilities.

I am glad I did.  I took the suggestion by

1) I Post a "chore chart." and have them involved in the creation of the chore chart. i Decide together with them what chores will be listed and will be expected to be completed. I Use stickers or tie a pencil next to the chart for record keeping.

2) Chores should be appropriate to the child's age. Children in preschool should always have to put away toys. Children in early elementary school can help also with pets and putting their laundry away. The older children can also help with bigger tasks including vacuuming or sweeping, mopping, dusting, changing sheets, laundry and dishes.

3) Rewards for chores should also be age appropriate. It doesn't always have to be a monetary allowance. You can reward their responsibility with coupons for 1 on 1 time with a parent, a special activity of choice or a play date with a friend.   more time playing games, watching tv etc. just any fun thing that will boost their spirit and make them more eager to do the work. and always tell them what a great job they did. you know words of encouragement helps big time

and used it.  We had a family meeting last night and discussed chores.  We talked about time lines and decided on rewards and consequences son took notes for the family, we talked about what they need from me to get thier chores done, devoloped new rules to make that possible and I worked this morning on creating the chart.

The new chore chart will go up Sunday evening for use on Monday.

Keep the ideas coming.

i'm glad you had a family meeting over this
cos your last post was unreasonable

comparing the time you do the chores to that of ur kids

sistawoman haba!

they are still kids

salsera:

i'm glad you had a family meeting over this
cos your last post was unreasonable

comparing the time you do the chores to that of ur kids

sistawoman haba!

they are still kids

Lmao. abi o.

salsera:

i'm glad you had a family meeting over this
cos your last post was unreasonable

comparing the time you do the chores to that of ur kids

sistawoman haba!

they are still kids

why is that unreasonable?  I did not say they had to do it in the same time frame that I did it in.  I gave them extra time.  But i feel like if you give a child an inch they will take a yard, therefore setting time limits for what you want done and how you want it done cant be unreasonable.  They should clearly know what I am expecting of them and I should  clear on what they expect from me.
Without timelines the chores just run into dinner time and bedtime and then they are never done.

But please tell me what age your children are and what thier chores are the timeline for completion.

DeReloaded:

Lmao. abi o.

Please share with me how you get our children to do thier chores.

Topic

It aint easy ooo!

I praise the women outhere

Thank you God, for our women!

sista Im not against your planning. It just seems rigid. Not enough time is allowed for the kids to unwind after school

If they are expected to do all of that right after, what strength will they have for homework?

Also does your house get dirty that often that you need to do a complete cleaning EVERY WEEKEND? I dont get it.

LOL

Dereloaded, sistah don ask you question
i guess we just have to look on since we don't have schedule for any kid

let the iya agba talk and i will take note

true question, homes here arent that dirty sistah unless you are just trying to groom them.

focus more on the 11 years old girl

*Hauwa*:

true question, homes here arent that dirty sistah unless you are just trying to groom them.

focus more on the 11 years old girl

lol abi o.

In Naija at least the reason is cos of the overly dusty environment. Today windows are clean. Tomorrow it's all red and dusty. Annoying.

They dont have that problem here

like Dereloaded said

the timelines are rigid

your version of adding extratime is 10mins, 20mins

kids are easily distracted (cept when they are watching tv) and chores dont necessarily engage their full attention

as they grow older they'll learn to focus more and do their chores faster and better


Can't they have like a choreless day - you know like adults have public holiday
give them something to look forward too a they grow older they wont need an incentive

it can take a child 10 mins to destroy an entire house.

We do the top to bottom because that is the time that i use to really get out the white gloves, paying attention to the corners, checking under beds, looking in closets. Getting all the places we missed or overlooked during the week. It is really my time to work directly with them on maintaining the entire house.

during the week we dont even tidy the basement or tend to the front porch or yard work.

The weekend top to bottom makes the weekday chores more of a maintaining thing. Thus making it possible to use just the mop Mon-Fri.

*Hauwa*:

true question, homes here arent that dirty sistah unless you are just trying to groom them.

focus more on the 11 years old girl

salsera:

like Dereloaded said

the timelines are rigid

your version of adding extratime is 10mins, 20mins

kids are easily distracted (cept when they are watching tv) and chores dont necessarily engage their full attention

as they grow older they'll learn to focus more and do their chores faster and better


Can't they have like a choreless day - you know like adults have public holiday
give them something to look forward too a they grow older they wont need an incentive

they dont have a choreless day because I dont have a choreless day. Even when I am sick I still perform. If you do your chores early then the rest of the day is yours. Give me 2 hours Saturday morning for the top to bottom and the rest of the day is yours. Then Sunday morning they wake up to smelling breakfast cooking.

Here are thier incentives:
Boy 11
allowance every week paid directly to his bank account ($20.00)
Game Stop gift card (50.00) per month
New computer for his personal use, brought that in January - mind you mine is 4 years old
TV and Cable in his room
Cell Phone - more for my benifit then his so that I can get a hold of him and it has a GPS tracking system in it if ever he gets lost
new shoes every other month
new clothes every month - at least one outfit for school and one for personal use, but we take advantage of sales and clearance so he usually walks away with 4-5 new outfits.

All the children are treated equally as well. When they ask for something if I have it they get it. I have not brought myself a new pair of shoes in months, a new outfit in forever - i sew what i need for myself.

They work hard but we play hard as a family. We have movies night, pj nights, kids day out, one on one every three weeks (for instance this week 11 year old, next week 9 year old, following week 9 year old, then it starts again). We go to shows and plays and get out and just visit things in our new city and our old city.
Thier friends love to stay here overnight because they say my cooking is so much better than anything thier moms cook. They love to hang out here because they have the newest game systems and the coolest most laid back mom never telling them to quiet it down.

sistah, does your husband join in the household work?

*Hauwa*:

sistah, does your husband join in the household work?

I was going to ask that myself. I am betting the answer is no

sistawoman:

it can take a child 10 mins to destroy an entire house.

We do the top to bottom because that is the time that i use to really get out the white gloves, paying attention to the corners, checking under beds, looking in closets. Getting all the places we missed or overlooked during the week. It is really my time to work directly with them on maintaining the entire house.

during the week we dont even tidy the basement or tend to the front porch or yard work.

The weekend top to bottom makes the weekday chores more of a maintaining thing. Thus making it possible to use just the mop Mon-Fri.

they dont have a choreless day because I dont have a choreless day. Even when I am sick I still perform. If you do your chores early then the rest of the day is yours. Give me 2 hours Saturday morning for the top to bottom and the rest of the day is yours. Then Sunday morning they wake up to smelling breakfast cooking.

Here are thier incentives:
Boy 11
allowance every week paid directly to his bank account ($20.00)
Game Stop gift card (50.00) per month
New computer for his personal use, brought that in January - mind you mine is 4 years old
TV and Cable in his room
Cell Phone - more for my benifit then his so that I can get a hold of him and it has a GPS tracking system in it if ever he gets lost
new shoes every other month
new clothes every month - at least one outfit for school and one for personal use, but we take advantage of sales and clearance so he usually walks away with 4-5 new outfits.

All the children are treated equally as well. When they ask for something if I have it they get it. I have not brought myself a new pair of shoes in months, a new outfit in forever - i sew what i need for myself.

They work hard but we play hard as a family. We have movies night, pj nights, kids day out, one on one every three weeks (for instance this week 11 year old, next week 9 year old, following week 9 year old, then it starts again). We go to shows and plays and get out and just visit things in our new city and our old city.
Thier friends love to stay here overnight because they say my cooking is so much better than anything thier moms cook. They love to hang out here because they have the newest game systems and the coolest most laid back mom never telling them to quiet it down.

O ga

@ sistawoman

This kind discipline go make your children run. Are they in a military school? Reading a book every week and doing a report?

Reading a story to the younger one every night? All this force force nor go work.

Force love, force study, force chores.

Do you allow your kids to take initiatives once in a while?

She has said in the past that they are not allowed to get juice out of the fridge without permission. This is simply too much. I had similar chores as a child but I sure as hell did not do it everyday not to talk of before 5:30. This is not healthy for those kids. Honestly I can tell she wants the best for her kids but the more she talks the more she starts to sound manic in a way

Outstrip:

She has said in the past that they are not allowed to get juice out of the fridge without permission. This is simply too much. I had similar chores as a child but I sure as hell did not do it everyday not to talk of before 5:30. This is not healthy for those kids. Honestly I can tell she wants the best for her kids but the more she talks the more she starts to sound manic in a way

These kind pikin fit hate their mama. Do they even have time to play at all?

You are robbing them of their childhood with your maniacal sense of duty.

Sistawoman, seems to me that the kids are the only one doing the chores.
What exactly do you do?

Don't get me wrong, kids ought to do chores in order to compensate for living under their parent's roof.

But what I HATE seeing is the parent not helping, while the kids are suffering under the weight of being students and doing excess chores, mommy sits there and watch.

Just a simple observation. Wink

This has got to be the most stupid thing I have ever read. So I am a tenant in my parent's house who has to work for them to pay for their hospitality? I won't even try to explain how parent-child relationship works because it's obvious you are too dense to understand it.

Shior!

Wouldnt surprise if mr strongdck doesnt help out cept for the occasional fix a pipe clog here or there

Sistawoman, I dont have kids but I dont think any child should have a computer in their room til maybe college or at least 16/17. It's dangerous esp nowadays.

Cell phone thing definitely makes sense

Everything else is cool, just that doing the intensive cleaning EVERY WEEKEND(American houses really dont get that dirty) is weird but hey it's your house.

michelin89:

This has got to be the most stupid thing I have ever read. So I am a tenant in my parent's house who has to work for them to pay for their hospitality? I won't even try to explain how parent-child relationship works because it's obvious you are too dense to understand it.

Shior!

whew tell us why you mnad.

bawomolo:

whew tell us why you mnad.

Because what she said is bullshit! Make she come explain herself and I hope she has a valid explanation for that crap she shot.

michelin89:

This has got to be the most stupid thing I have ever read. So I am a tenant in my parent's house who has to work for them to pay for their hospitality? I won't even try to explain how parent-child relationship works because it's obvious you are too dense to understand it.

Shior!

You must have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about what you think.

Make your post more understanding by subtracting the unnecessary garbage you posted in it. Maybe then, we can logically discuss what your dilemma is.

Well, I started cleaning the house before I was 11 but definitely not before 6 years of age. Damn! I can't even remember doing anything at 6.lmao @ mopping on hands and knees.

Even now, the only time I clean the house are weekends. weekdays are just too stressful for me to be bothered with housework except for dish-washing and preparing simple food.

Did you just say "logically"? Ahahahhahahah! Osanobuamen. What is logical about what your post? Just because your parents enslaved you in your house making you pay for their financial support does not mean that's how it's supposed to go.

It's your parents' DUTY to take care of you until you are capable of doing so. They aren't do anything but what they are supposed to do so I don't get this unnecessary exploitation of children for those chores you HATE to do.

You tried, but try again.

Am sure you don't talk garbage all the time

Ebony-Silk:

You tried, but try again.

Am sure you don't talk garbage all the time

Uhm, I am not the delusional one here. Sorry for your exploited childhood.

I hope your kids will have a better future.