BoiGrammz:
you know why I dey get problem with you?? if you dey tag people abeg tag intelligent ones not dullinus like khassy

Softandmoist I see ya

when your "sensible" button go begin function sef

Suzzytee05:
Nice one softandmoist. Unita should go look for her own man elsewhere or didn't she know Duke is married?

The reason why will soon be obvious. He hasn't told her yet.

softandmoist:

Story

How did you come up with your moniker?

blublahd:

How did you come up with your moniker?

Errrrm, my husband once said, errrrrrm

softandmoist:

Errrrm, my husband once said, errrrrrm

Understood.... I wish you both a more soft and moist union.

Good afternoon.
Please I await your criticisms.
I'm traveling and so I may not update for a while after today except the WiFi of the hotel is as good as they say.

Post will be up soon. Enjoy.

Tolu.
The generator set behind the kitchen window roared on, but it didn’t affect my gist with Yewande. I was making ikokore, water yam pottage for dinner and I was almost done grating the yam. The phone was on speaker on the kitchen island and I could hear her loud and clear from London where she now resides.
‘Aaaah, don’t even go there. You don’t like kini? See, better watch mojo if you must’ she laughingly said. I pictured her lying on a bed and handling her belly button, her favorite posture.
‘Ehn, no please. Why? For what?’, I answered indignantly.
But for Labake’s decision to move permanently to Taraba state as a missionary (she’d even missed my wedding, saying she wasn’t coming back to the things of the ‘world’), why would I even have to share the details of my non-existent sex life with her?
This Yewande sef.
‘You will soon know o. There are different styles you should learn to be giving him by now. Both of you will not leave the bed the next day’
‘You see, that’s my point. Why would I not want to leave the bed because of a thing as mundane as sex?’ I started to drop the grated water yam into the sauce little by little.
‘I know you will not let me talk. But I know you both can have fun. So let me tell you about this guy I met at Cokobar, yeeeee, the guy is fooooiiiinnnneee eh, as in eh, oh my’ she gushed. I shook my head in pity. If you see the guy now he’d look like an ordinary cucumber.
‘Oh really’ I said, deliberately sounding bored. I was taking out the fish and meat pieces so they wouldn’t get stuck to the bottom of the pot.
‘The guy can kiss sha, we have a date for next Sunday sef. I have invited him over and I will make him jollof rice’ she ratted on.
I didn’t even say anything again. She was talking about kissing as if it was something divine.
Here’s how I picture two people kissing; you save spittle, say like a spoonful and exchange it by plunging your lips into theirs and suffocating them with your tongue.
Disgusting. Duke always tried to kiss me, but I’m always put off by the smell of his cologne wafting across my nostrils.
I remembered again the reason why I was making this special dish. I smiled and patted my slightly bulging stomach.
I didn’t know how far I’d wandered off in thought until I heard Yewande ask me how many bottles I would send to her.
‘How many bottles of what?’ I asked, turning the gas’ knob to low heat.
‘Of your head. Ahn ahn? I said when that my friend Bimpe comes to Nigeria, how many bottles of groundnut and palm oil will you send to me through her?’
‘Oh, that. I will send 5 bottles of each. Shey that one will calm your gra gra down abi?’ I replied.
‘Thanks darling, you know that’s why I love you ba, first lady of our Duke’, she teased. We continued to banter for a while, until she had to go to her second job.
The house was now quiet, and I couldn’t wait for my husband to come home.


Unita
I was chatting with my pretend best friend on bbm, and the trend of the chat had me rolling off the couch and laughing so hard. She was teling about how her fiance was asking her for MouthAction and she declined as usual.
Nkoro: Babe abeg abeg. If God approved of this thing would he place the poo hole so close?
Me: *rolling eyes smiley* What kind of talk is that abeg. You dey craze o.
Nkoro: True now. He even sent me links from YouTube to watch and learn. Mbok, what man encourages his woman to watch porn?
Me: A romantic man who wants her to step up in bed. I don't like it o, ahn. Haven't you heard that you should be a chef in his kitchen and a ho in his bed?
Nkoro: Na you go sabi that one*sarcasm smiley*. Brb abeg.
Me: kk.
I dropped the phone on the side table and shut my eyes in meditation. Nkoro and her fiance, Uwem, were like night and day; so different. Yet it was obvious they loved each other. You could practically catch a love bug just hanging around them.
Nkoro had it all. She always had.
We had grown up together in Yaba, attended primary school and secondary school together. While I was the fat dark girl everyone poked fun at, she effortlessly got attention from young and old, boys and girls. I had to hide to eat chocolates, fries, and she could stuff her face and not get bothered. Even when the boys started to come, it was her they sought after. The ones who paid me any attention did so just to get close to her, and then dump me. But I didn't hate her. She was and is still my only friend, and I try to match everything she does.
If she got an A, I'd get an A+. I lost weight and became even slimmer than her. I became senior prefect and she was a house prefect. The competition didn't end there.
She got into the University of Ibadan, I went to University of Lagos. I graduated with a first class in Industrial Design while she dragged through with a shaky second class upper.
Even down right to losing our virginity. She offered hers on a platter to a coursemate she was into, and I made myself feel good by sleeping with an upcoming actor.
All I needed was to be better than Nkoro. It didn't matter if it was right or wrong. I just had to do it better.
When she met Uwem, she'd gone on and on about how he was handsome and generous and she rated him excellent where it mattered.
For once, I couldn't outdo her on this.
She was 26, and getting married soon. I was 28, single and approaching last chance salon.
I wanted my own man.
Scratch wanted. I needed my own man. Fast!


Duke.
I pulled the pilow closer over my ears. It was too annoying. Who wakes up at 3.00am to throw up? And I have to live with this for how much longer? I hear a loud fart from the bathrom and imagined a foul atmosphere.
I didnt it think it was fun to be an expecting father, but nothing in the books had prepared me for this. The tantrums, the morning, noon and midnight sicknes like she was having now, the non-existent sex life. The only thing I loked forward to was the birth of my twin babies.
Yes. Over a lovely dinner tonight, she had waved the report of the ultrasound in my face and told me laughingly that I was a sharpshooter.
Afterwards I had tried to cuddle on the couch, some preamble to a great night ahead but she flew off to the bathroom and threw up everything.
Nothing I did could make her feel better, so I just left her. Now she was awake and throwing up again.
Somehow, I dont know for what reason but I thought of Unita's lithe body and her face underneath me. The result was a rush of blood to my southern part, and I groaned in frustration.
For a week now, I called her everyday and we would talk for hours. The chemistry was undeniable. The attraction was mutual. The only deterent to wooing her had been the constant ringing of my marriage vows in my ears. But an erect penis has no conscience.
I'd make it a one time thing. Nothing to worry about. No strings attached.
I felt a light tap on my butt and took the pillow off.
'Please help me rub my feet'. It was Tolu. Her face was wet, and some hair from her head stuck to her face. She looked pitiful and frail.
'Alright. Lie down and let me' I said with pretend loving and a fake grin. She did, and I started to rub them, from the balls and in between the phalanges.
'Not so fast, you need my foot rub' she smiled. Why didnt she just say that before?
I stood up to get it from the top of the dresser. This was one night I didnt want a repeat of. I couldnt even fantasize about Unita in peace.
I'd rubbed both feet to her satisfaction so much she slept off while I was it. Good for her that she had asked for time away from work.
I didnt have that luxury and I had things to do when morning came. Top of that was getting Unita into my bed.

Blublahd
Suzzytee05
Olaitan3784
Oluwadanie1
Tijehi
Deb6
Therealstuff
Feyilag
Boigrammz

New post alert

Always waiting for new post and devouring it faster than those race cars at Daytona race track.

I looveee this story. You're doing good with the line.

Well done Softandmoist.......dis ur moniker shaaaa

thanks

Following.... Good work so far

This dude should chill already. Haba! Nice one ma'am

awwn,tnx a lot 4 d update miss.i dnt mind a bonus lengthy update as a new month gift.keep it up

softandmoist:
Tolu.



Duke.
I pulled the pilow closer over my ears. It was too annoying. Who wakes up at 3.00am to throw up? And I have to live with this for how much longer? I hear a loud fart from the bathrom and imagined a foul atmosphere.

lmao.. I'm loving this.. Thanks for the tag

nice storyline.... full of suspense....am yearning for more!

softandmoist:
Blublahd
Suzzytee05
Olaitan3784
Oluwadanie1
Tijehi
Deb6
Therealstuff
Feyilag
Boigrammz

New post alert

sorry am just reading this... really loved it

*waiting for next episode*

seriously, women expecting a baby could just be the opposite of what they were before they got pregnant. just imagining how I'll deal with mine.

Unita

'I'll treat you like a queen, I'd buy you diamond rings, I swear my baby I say no be lie' I sang along to Wizkid's I love my baby and gave the motorcyclist who swerved into my path as I drove the middle finger. I'd just won a contract for my company, Posh holdings and was in cloud nine. We were to supply bath and bedding items to a big hotel in Ikeja, and I was just leaving the venue of the meeting at Eko court. It was a good day.
It would even get better, because Duke and I have another date. The first date was our meeting at the food court, so I offered to make him something for dinner in my house this time. He would come over after work and we'd just eat and gist, we had planned.
I turned into the Goodies supermarket on Kofo Abayomi and shopped for an army. This dinner had to make sense, and I planned to use all my skills to the letter. I even bought a few bottles of wine and cheese.
The traffic on Adeola Odeku was light, and in a matter of minutes I'd passed the toll gate and turned into my street. I'd already called the office and told them I'd been delayed in the meeting so that I could just head home straight and prepare for the date.
I saw a neighbor's car parked outside and wondered what she was doing at home at this time. Tayo was never home and nobody knew what she did for a living. We only knew of her late night arrivals and expensive perfumes and bags. She rarely was without her custom 22 inches brazillian hair and high heels. Nkoro had met her once and decided she was some senator's call girl. I chose to believe she was a senator's daughter.
I got down from the car and pulled out my skirt from between my butt cheeks. My insides quivered in excitement at the thoughts of Duke running his hands over them. He had suggestively used some double entendres to imply that we'd go all the way tonight. I didn't mind that seeing as I had stayed off sex for a while, and even my last boyfriend Isaiah had been a one minute man. I hoped Duke would live up to expectations.
Once upon a time I'd even tried to be friends with her, stopping over for brief visits and chatting with her on BBM, but she hadn't bothered with reciprocating so I'd let her be.
I parked behind my other neighbor's Honda CRV and carried the groceries in. I began to make afang after changing into jeans bum shorts and a shirt. I know what they say about the way to a man's heart being his stomach. Even that my one minute man ex boyfriend, Isaiah, had proven it.
By the time I was done, it was almost 8.00 PM. I took a quick shower and dabbed on a nice cologne. Just as I stepped into my satin flip flops, I heard a knock on the door. Now, the balls were in his court.


Duke.
The way I rushed through work today, anyone with a nose for gossip would have sniffed that something involving meeting a woman was in the offing. I thought about Unita all day, and didn't bother picking Tolu's calls after 4'o clock. She'd called fourteen times already, so I could just lie to her that I was in a meeting. I left the office at 6.00 PM and drove through the heavy traffic, cursing my luck. I had to be home by 10.00pm or else the wife would send out a search squad. The traffic was seriously cutting short the time I'd have spent with Unita. I hit the steering hard in frustration. There wasn't ever traffic when I was heading home to meet Tolu.
Finally, when it seemed like all the cars in Lagos where handpicked from my front and flung away, I made it to Unita's. 7.57pm left me with barely 2 hours, so I jogged to the door and raised the knocker. It chimed once, and before my hand hit it again, the door opened. Something about this woman standing before me was captivating. It was the seriousness of her face, like nothing in life was worth laughing at. It gave her a cute look, and she didn't look like a woman you could boss around. Sexy.
She was putting on a grey thigh length shirt dress and had let down her hair. I also got a breath taking view of her cleavage.
'Good evening, please come in' she said, after what seemed to me like aeons.
'Errrrm, good evening, how are you?'. I asked
'I'm fine, thank you. Please sit.' She pointed at a couch and sat in a desk chair some distance away. I took in the interior of the house and nodded in admiration.
'A nice place you've got here' I told her, smiling. She looked ever so serious.
'Oh yea? Thank you', she replied.
'So, I smell something cooking, did you make an order so you could microwave it' I asked, patting my stomach. You never could tell with all these Lekki babes.
'Excuse me? I made everything from the scratch!'she said with a pout. I almost wanted to kiss her then, but I had to behave like a gentleman.
'Just kidding. You know, you smell good too. So who do I eat first, you or the food?' I asked with a glint in my eyes. All week, I'd been subtly letting her know what would go down today. If we ended up not going to bed, we'd at least lay a foundation. She hadn't encouraged me, but she didn't act like she wasn't interested too.
She shook her head and wagged her forefinger at me 'Mr. Glutton, let's even see you finish your food first. Eat me ko, chop me raw ni', she playfully finished.
We headed for the table and she uncovered a big bowl. Immediately, my mouth became an ocean of saliva. The aroma was simply divine. I watched her spoon some vegetable soup, and I felt my intestines do a jig. You know that kind of soup that is balanced diet on its own. I loosened my belt and fell to.
We chatted about work, growing up and university days over food and wine. I just didn't want the evening to end, but I needed an opportunity to make my move.
I joined her in the kitchen, watching her do the dishes and drying them. I walked up to her and held her wrist, took away the dish towel and pulled her close. I brought my lips close to her and searched her face to see any sign of reluctance. Her eyes were shut. Good.
What hit me could better be described as a pleasant surprise. Never has kissing anyone brought me such pleasure. We kissed and smooched and moaned until it was unbearable. The hour had come to liberate our passion, and right there on the kitchen floor, we had sex, only it was a great deal better than I'd imagined. I was sated, breathing slowly and caressing her when my phone began to ring.
Tolu.



Unita
I am not going to say it was the best one I'd ever had, but never before tonight had I experienced such passion. It felt really good, and I felt like I'd finally found someone for keeps.
Good looks check
Manners and wit check
Jaguar where it mattered, check check.
I snuggled closer and opened my eyes a fraction. I could see us getting together for a lifetime, making one or two babies and raising them. Finally, Nkoro's Uwem didn't matter anymore. He just paled in comparison already. I thanked God silently for directing me to Food Court that day. Ordinarily I'd have sent the office assistant to get me what to eat, but something in me just decided not to send him that day. It was fate. Yes, we were destined to be together. From somewhere distant, Asa's soulful voice came to life in a ringtone. Who was the person calling him?
He picked the phone and I quickly peeked at the screen. I missed the name, so I didn't care. Until I heard him tell whoever it was that he'd be home in a few minutes. I felt jealous of his male roommate already. He'd better get used to not seeing Duke around every evening. I stood up and headed for the bathroom. I was douching for the second time when I remembered he'd not used a condom. And it was my fertile period. Oh well, if tonight was an indication of how much things were going to be good, then I'll skip the pill, I decided. I was even been paranoid, I thought to myself.


Tolu.
I've been calling Duke, but he won't pick. Again. It's past 10.00pm, dinner is so cold I'd just as soon throw it into the bin. I've really prayed that God gives him a federal government job that will make him have time for his family. See how my daddy always showed up for my visiting days way back at FGC Ilorin. He'd even come on weekdays and spend time. If Duke continued with this bank job his children may never know him, I thought to myself.
I tried to reach him again, and luckily this time, he picked and said he'd be home in a few minutes.
Poor man. He'd probably been working himself so hard just so he could be a good husband. I smiled in satisfaction as the twin babies kicked playfully.
I had it all.
My husband, babies on the way, a job where my bosses understood the plight of a pregnant woman, and parents who thought the world of me.
In fact, I had everything I ever wanted.

Such an enthralling piece kudos softandmoist

Wow nice story you got here... Damn could remember undergraduate years in Ilorin especially during GNS exams to get a cab Na die... And the distance to tanke ain't a child's play.... Only time I trekked to the school gate, I fell sick for a week. Keep it up and Errhmmm please you can always mention my moniker when there's a new update. Thanks

#Better By Far

Can't post because I keep getting an error occurred message from nairaland. So annoying.

This is so hopeless. I give up.

It will post these useless comments, but not the story. Please which mod can I talk to? Or else I'll just take all posts down and continue on my blog only. Wth.

Bae, chill. I'm sure it is the network.
Try later in the day.

zaynie:
Bae, chill. I'm sure it is the network.
Try later in the day.

Thanks ma. I was wondering o, and this swift be claiming alpha and omega of internet.

Good afternoon, I didn't go awol on purpose. I have tried to post several times and I keep getting an error massage. I have mailed the mod of this section but nothing has been done about it. It's frustrating, but I'll leave the link to my blog here for those interested.
Thanks.
http://allladiesgistparlor..com/2015/08/waves-of-emotions_7.html

New post up

http://allladiesgistparlor..com/2015/08/waves-of-emotion_20.html

new post up
http://allladiesgistparlor..com/2015/08/waves-of-emotions_25.html

9ce 1 bt u r kinda slow wit d updates...anyways, kip it up....

Waves of emotions

Yewande
“I’ve got a surprise for you.”
That was the first thing Tolu said as I picked up the phone on the third ring. Surprise? Had she found out already? Oh my!
“okay.” I breathed, expecting the worst. ‘What is it?’
“I’m going to Jos for a 2-day conference and my boss won’t change his mind.’
‘C’mon Tolu, shey na the surprise be that?’ I asked, exhaling calmly at my end. So she didn’t know. Yet.
‘Yes, and Duke is so busy at work these days, we barely see.’
Of course. There was the other woman to keep him busy.
‘So long as it’s work and not some other stuff keeping him away, ‘I said, unsure of how to bring in the topic of her cheating husband.
After my last chat with Nkoro, I’d gone and made my own findings. What I discovered was not nice at all. It wasn’t just an affair; it had blossomed into a relationship, my source had reliably informed me. I itched to fly down to Nigeria and beat the hell out of the stupid slut that was sleeping with my friend’s husband, but tickets are not free and really, at the end of the day, she and Duke were adults who ought to know better.
‘Of course it’s work. He’s so busy that he gets home too tired to eat dinner on some days.’ She remarked.
Great.
Did this girl just emerge as the picture perfect icon for dumb or what? I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. I figured as long as I steered away from the topic of her husband, I’d be fine.
‘So what’s this your conference about that you have to be the one to leave your husband in Lagos and go to that cold city alone?’
‘It’s a summit for the financial times big four, and because of the major accounts I brought in, he feels its insightful to let me go.’
‘Okay o. sha take plenty cardigans and blanket, and try to cover yourself with the blood of Jesus.’
‘I hear you. So how are work and the man in your life, Konipolous abi Konkoni?’
‘Shebi you know you’re not alright? He’s Konistipolous, and he’s heir to an empire in Greece o. Better start being reasonable or else I won’t remember you when I get to my kingdom.’ I finished.
We moved on to other things, and her battery was almost dead so she had to go. I sighed to myself.
Is true love an illusion? Here was a girl who, all her life, had never slept with anyone, saving herself for her wedding night. And then bam! The shit of her life was set to hit the fan.
Again I ask, is true love an illusion?




Unita.
The following Monday I rushed home from work, speeding through the toll gate and narrowly missing being brushed by an angry Toyota Sienna driver. Despite what Duke had said, I didn’t believe he had a wife in this lagos. How can he be married?
I knew guys like him don’t stay on the husband market for long. I pulled into the parking space in front of my house, leapt out and dashed into my flat. The tears were threatening to spill again.
I flung myself on the couch and broke down.
Was this it for me? All my life’s struggles, all my pain, all the shame of being fat, my supposed victories; everything was leading up to me being pregnant for a married man?
It all started coming back to me; the public holidays he just couldn’t see me, and how something always came up at the last minute. I remembered with pain searing through the muscles of my heart how he seemed so tender, so attentive to feminine details, so caring. How could I not have known?
And why had I been so stupid to get pregnant?
All the time we were together, it was a wonderful fantasy. Now it was never going to become a reality. I’d trusted that we’d one day live happily ever after, but he’d not been honest with me.
I thought of how to inform my parents. They were Witnesses, and frowned on any relationship that was outside our fold. My cousins had all married fellow Witnesses and my parents would expect me to do the same. Now I’d gone and made matters worse by getting pregnant out of wedlock.
The most upsetting of all was that Nkoro was going to bitch about it. I didn’t like that she would sound like the better person again, and tell me how careless I was. She would berate me endlessly on how I didn’t do my necessary findings, and say in that her self-righteous tone ‘This is Lagos now, Uni, you must have known someone who knows someone who knows his wife.’
Their wedding date had been picked, and I had even helped them make arrangements for their honeymoon in Barbados. I could never get it right, not where Nkoro was involved.
She was going to be a bride, and then wife.
A rich, beautiful, thin wife.
I was going to be a fat, pregnant-out-of-wedlock friend.
I wailed alot more than an octave higher.


Tolu.
I had just returned to my hotel room and was preparing to pack my bag. Jos had turned out to be more fun than I thought. The beautiful rocks, the quietness and serenity, the unhurried pace at which people moved around, it was simply amazing. I’d eaten so much kilishi my jaws ached, and some lady I met from the conference promised to take me out for a plate of masa this evening.
I was going to check out the next morning so I hurriedly put my stuffs together and went to shower. I was toweling my body when Duke called me.
‘Are you free to talk’ he demanded as soon as I picked up.
‘Yes.’ I wondered about the urgency in his voice
‘Okay. I’d like you to please listen to me, Tolu. Listen to me, I beg you, and forgive me’
‘Duke? Baby, what is it? What have you done?’ I exclaimed. ‘I’m flying in tomorrow morning and we can talk about it’
‘Alright then, but just know that no matter what happens, I truly love you; I swear I do’
‘I know you do darling, I know.’ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I love you too darling.’
Duke hung up without saying goodbye. He must have really thought about his attitude towards me these days. I could forgive that, after all that was what marriage was about.
I brought out my dirty clothes and called downstairs to notify the laundry service I had items to clean. I couldn’t wait to get back and make up properly with my husband.
Perhaps from this point on, marriage would be bliss.



Duke
‘Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t stab you in the balls.’ Unita asked, pacing back and forth across the living room.
She’d started in on me as soon as I walked in through the door. She didn’t pick up her calls on Saturday after I left; she wouldn’t see me on Sunday or take my calls either. It took begging at the kitchen door for several minutes for her to even let me in.
‘Unita, this isn’t the time for all of that.’ I protested. ‘I acknowledge my wrong and apologize for misleading you, but I think from this point on we should think of the way forward’
‘You cross-eyed dickless unflushable toilet son of a pregnant dustbin, you more than misled me!’ she flung a pillow at me, and I caught it right on time. I deserved her anger, but it wasn’t going to help the situation at hand. ‘you wooed me, slept with me repeatedly and led me into believing we had a future together.’ She screamed.
Wow. Future together? I knew I really liked her, and I didn’t mind that she was good in bed, but Tolu had me hooked with her humility and domesticity. Unita didn’t even cook regularly unless she wanted to show off. And that strong angular face that was always ready for an argument? I got tired of this and wanted to just go home, but someone had to be reasonable here.
‘you this lowlife pig, you knew you were married and you slept with me without using a condom.’ She bellowed.
Ok. This accusations were going too far. If I was stupid, was she too? I didn’t say a word. I just leaned against the wall of the room and let her thow it all at me, the accusations, the insults, the names. She kept them coming. I kept quiet. In fact, her raging body clad in a transparent peach nightie turned me on, and I cursed myself. This was what got me into trouble in the first place.
‘and now what are we going to do.’
Finally. She had run out of steam, and was calm enough to listen to me.
‘I’d like to tell my wife, but lets sort things out at this end first’ I said.
‘it’s obvious you’ve thought it out.’ She said ‘I have to tell my parents too, so let's hear you.’
‘thanks. First, Tolu and I are legally married, so you and I cant possibly get married’ I grimaced. She was right, I was a fool. What was I even looking for in the first place?
She began to massage her forehead with her hand, but she said nothing.
‘Whatever you decide, I will stand by you.’
‘I’m keeping the baby, you know.’
I sighed. I hadn’t thought of the ‘baby’. It was still ‘pregnancy’ to me. So the twins had a step-sibling even before birth. What a way to start fatherhood.
‘You may not marry me, but you will in every way be responsible for this baby, I promise you that. And I am giving you 24 hours to tell your wife else I’m telling her myself’ she said.
I stood against the wall still, my mouth agape. She waited a few seconds to see if I would say anything, I didn’t. She pressed on.
‘I want to have my baby in the States, and I don’t want anyone of your family members calling me names. You’re the only one who’s going to be involved with my baby’
What was this one saying? I closed my mouth and smiled bitterly. I’d finally bitten more than I could chew.

Yay!!!!!!

Ghen ghen Tolu is in for it, what a shameless man. Really feel for Tolu. Kudos softandmoist.