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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women (4011 Views)
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Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:17pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
[b]Marriage for most people these days is just a flop. You see people who are supposed to be married quarreling and fighting each other. Some even go as far as inflicting injuries on each other, steal from each other e.t.c. I ask myself one question: why? Why will people who claim to be in love with each other be fighting each other? Anyway before I continue, if you've not read my thread on singleness, I'll like you to. Here's the link to it: https://www.nairaland.com/2211701/singleness I must confess that I've seen people having a bliss in their marriages. I commend them for been able to manage their relationships and making their marriages work. Of course I know there are couples that put a facade of smile faces in public but hell would be preferred to what they experience in the closet of their homes but hey! I know some real happy couples. Some have gone more than 40 years together, some 20. There are many things that can make your marriage crumbling but I'll like to concentrate on one major factor. Your marriage will hit the rocks when you stop playing your role. Most times, we have some women erring when it comes to taking roles (I'm not trying to take sides because I'm male. Keep reading). I'm not even referring to domestic responsibilities. I'm talking about the attitude with which you relate with your husband. We have women that would vehemently oppose their husbands in public. Some will always think any decision made by their husbands must have to be wrong. Hence, they will always have a counter opinion. It's okay to have an opposite view but it's the way and manner that you present it that matters. Every man will always listen and yield to a wise voice but I tell you, he will listen to a wise voice that us presented wisely. You can present your opinion as a wise suggestion. When you try to make it look like he's totally wrong and you have the right idea and you want to instil it on him, there is bound to be strife which is not healthy for a relationship. Note this: No man wants another mother. No man wants another older sister. He probably had one all his life. When you try to tell him what to do, you take the role of a mother or an older sister and the romance starts fading away from your relationship. A man loves the one he serves and the one that serves him. He fights the one that is at the level with him. He fights the one that tries to make a fool out of him. When you start acting like you have equal rights, strife will definitely come in. Be a wise woman and I bet you, you'll have 100% influence over your husband. But the one that acts like a supervisor will definitely have trouble. One more thing - wives: your beauty is in obedience. Marriage is a beautiful thing if you choose to make it so. Have a wonderful weekend.[/b] 10 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by jamex93(m): 9:19pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
Aiit |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by KanwuliaJara: 9:25pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
Only if it is "workable"! 3 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by cococandy(f): 9:45pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
Men no dey sabi make marriage work? We haff tire for all these women this and that. 14 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:51pm On Jul 24, 2015 |
cococandy:I've been waiting for your comment actually and I was expecting it to be in this direction. You didn't disappoint me. I clearly stated out at the beginning of the thread that I would like to concentrate on one factor only. 2 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 1:47am On Jul 25, 2015 |
Nice one |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Chidoks(f): 2:51am On Jul 25, 2015 |
thanks.this is a good reminder.most of us actually started out like this but along the line stress,familiarity and other factors crop up to 'change' us.yeah you got it right! most men will be controlled with gentility but the moment you as much as raise your voice a bit,he sees you as a competitor and brings out the demons in him.little wonder the bible admonishes that wise women build their homes.you advice is divine.thanks again. ** eno dey easy sha but what else can a good woman do... 3 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by cococandy(f): 4:14am On Jul 25, 2015 |
AgapeCharis:good. Now you know you can count on me. 1 Like |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by kemylarge(m): 8:55am On Jul 25, 2015 |
d challenge I have is were to worship. I don't like my husband's church.we've talked abt it but problem I c is my husband is thinking of wat people will say.he's been dr 5yrs no change.thanks op |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:02am On Jul 25, 2015 |
cococandy: Gracia. |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:10am On Jul 25, 2015 |
KanwuliaJara:An insight into the emboldened please? Chidoks:True that. Most times, couples start out on this ground but familiarity steps in and nudges one to change mannerism. All we have to do is to keep on examining ourselves. True true, e no easy. But like you said, wetin man go do na? Though, it can become somewhat natural to you if you decide you're going to keep up with it. 1 Like |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:21am On Jul 25, 2015 |
kemylarge:What people will say shouldn't be a factor in deciding what's good for the both of you na. So long it's for the benefit of you both. Have you had any of your friends consult you before they take a major decision in their homes? I used to care about what people thought about me until one day I tried to pay my bills with their opinions. |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by KanwuliaJara: 10:15am On Jul 25, 2015 |
AgapeCharis: Where there is domestic violence, nothing to work o! Period! 1 Like |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by bukatyne(f): 2:23pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
OP: Interesting. IMHO, your message would have been fantastic without the last paragraph. You are insinuating that a woman who has 'equal' rights with her husband will have an unhealthy marriage. You are telling us that a woman should believe in her husband and communicate counter opinions/suggestions respectfully which I agree Shouldn't the husband be same way? 'The husband loves the one He serves and the one who serves him. He fights the one at level with him' If the wife serving him makes her below him, Does serving the wife make him below her since there is a 'level'? Happy Saturday 5 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Stillfire: 3:15pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Wisdom for fools... 4 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Chillis: 3:50pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Nigerian men always giving assignments List of things to do. When the women does all these, what value will you be bringing in. twah 11 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by zeb04(f): 5:13pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
there are so many "good"advice in here for the woman but sadly marriage is still falling apart even though,most are adhering to it that simply means both parties have to be committed to make marriage work so brother agape, don't you think its time you listen to your own advice? the energy you use in putting these up,use that same time to talk to yourselves. clearly the fault is on you guys. 5 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:40pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
bukatyne:I didn't mean to say there is a level. That line was meant to portray a message of how men feel when their wives start ordering them around. You see some start saying; I am the man in this house! Just like when someone starts telling you "I am older than you", you know something is wrong with your mannerism. I don't know if you get me? |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 9:49pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
zeb04:Of course it's the responsibility of both parties to make their marriage work. The man has a role as well. There are men that will never take the advice of their wives just because it's coming from the wife. Maybe because they don't want to be seen as a husband been controlled by the wife but that's plain sÃlly. Last paragraph.....For real? That's quiet funny. All marriages that failed have different reasons why they failed. You can't just come up and say the fault is on guys. Most times, both parties have a share of the blame. By the way, about listening to my own advice....What makes you think I haven't? |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by SAMBARRY: 10:02pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
cococandy:now I like this new cococandy not the overajeboish suegbe doll |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by SAMBARRY: 10:04pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Mr agapecharis una no dey taya for list ni |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by cococandy(f): 10:12pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:lol. 1 Like |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Efesuave: 10:14pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
cococandy: why did edwife unfollow yuh? 3 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 10:14pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
SAMBARRY:Which list? Your eye clear so? |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by SAMBARRY: 10:22pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
AgapeCharis:very very. I mean the list you have on your thread, yeyenotu |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 11:00pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
AgapeCharis:But it's ok when a husband orders a wife around? ? 2 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 11:03pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
MarvellousGod:Did my writeup insinuate that? |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 11:07pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
AgapeCharis:I asked cos you said men don't like it when their wives order them around. .. It isn't peculiar to men, nobody wants to be ordered around. ... |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Nobody: 11:16pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
MarvellousGod:True that. |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by Jamean(f): 8:48am On Jul 26, 2015 |
We can all see why some marriages won't work; when the whole responsibility is vested on the woman like she is a magician. So men are for bed and provision chores. Your proposition is faulty. I am a woman. Domestic chore is my favorite hobby, especially laundry. But I won't be able to do it all the time because I work. So, I will engage the services of a house assistant, dry cleaner or washing machine. I am a woman. I like to cook, and can cook well. But I won't be able to cook fresh meals everyday because I work. So, I will cook quite a quantity and refridgerate. Some times we may have dinner outside. I am a woman. I like to baby sit. But I won't be able to because I work. So, I opt for a nanny, daycare or even my mum. Men should get a hang of these things and stop making marriage a privileged burden for women. Your marriage can be successful when you both work in love and understanding. 6 Likes |
Re: Making Your Marriage Work - Wisdom For Women by teddybear007(f): 9:31am On Jul 26, 2015 |
Why is it only d women dat needs wisdom? I tire ooooo, everything women, women, God so suppose make us d head of family, so that we will knw that everything lies on our shoulder. Women dis, women that, God pls make me a man in my nxt generation. We will talk dey will say we commanding them, and if we dont talk, yawa don gas for there. Let me stop here, Gracias. 3 Likes |
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