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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond (5702 Views)
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Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:30am On Jul 25, 2015 |
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. Source: https://m.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201496899371105&id=1434916702&set=a.1143161265946.2022765.1434916702&refid=28&_ft_=qid.6164708922292941374%3Amf_story_key.2484203969783752218%3AeligibleForSeeFirstBumping.&__tn__=%2As Cc: Lalasticlala, dominique Like and Share 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:30am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:34am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:36am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:37am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 2 Likes |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:39am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:39am On Jul 25, 2015 |
This is hilariiiiiouus!
I want some more. Pleeease... 1 Like |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:40am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:41am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:41am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:Haha! |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:42am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid 2 Likes |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:44am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:LMAO! my belle o! |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:44am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:45am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. 2 Likes |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:45am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:Buhahahaha! Front page pls. Obinoscopy ishilove lalastica |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:47am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:I can't Deal... olodo attorney! |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:47am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ATMC(f): 6:48am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:smh |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:48am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. 18 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 6:56am On Jul 25, 2015 |
ATMC:I'm glad you like them |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by realtestament(m): 7:06am On Jul 25, 2015 |
Lwkm4h
|
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by enigstil(m): 7:07am On Jul 25, 2015 |
Very funny, u have just made my day.Wish we could get the Naija ones, laff go wan kill you. |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by tobloj(m): 8:27am On Jul 25, 2015 |
OCcool:Wicked response!!! |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by ellahzy(f): 12:18pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
nice one OP nice one |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by RaDaZaBaNa(m): 12:25pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
lol |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by RexRoy(m): 4:09pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Lwkmd... Nice one |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by gulfer: 6:17pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
I had a good laugh with this. |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by icekream(m): 6:58pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Idd' made my dea... Naija own go be like... Judge: So u wantu break up after 13 years of marriage. How many years have you been married? Man: This judge no get brain o |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by Adewummy007: 7:09pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Funny. |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by Ipheyemmy01(m): 7:30pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
Both the attorney and the witness must have been high on something before appearing at the court room. |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by OCcool: 7:39pm On Jul 25, 2015 |
icekream:Bwahahahaha |
Re: Hilarious: Funny Questions Attorneys Ask And How Witnesses Respond by successnwa(f): 7:59pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Verrrrry hilarious Pls Nigeria version |
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