Pope Francis is 78 years old, but his humility,
compassion, and jovial demeanor, has earned
him the title of “The Coolest Pope of All Time.”
Just when you thought he couldn’t get any cooler,
the Holy Father announced today at his
Wednesday General Audience that, last night, he had his first wet dream in 65 years and it was life-changing. In fact, the wet dream
was so glorious that he has used his divine
authority as Pope to declare that fornication is no
longer a sin.
“What were we even thinking?” the Patriarch of
the West asked rhetorically to the audience, all of whom were crying tears of joy, washing away all
their years of Catholic guilt. “I’ve sat in that hot
wooden box for years, heard you all confess the
same sins over and over. Masturbation,
fornication, adultery and lesbian porn! Now I
know what the fuss was all about!” The Servant of the Servants of Christ explained to
the congregation that, until last light, his first and
last wet dream was at age 13, after which he
promptly decided to become a priest. “After that
wet dream – Marylin Munroe’s back forming a
Roman arch, her thick thighs wide open like the pearly gates, her holy of holies as wet as the river
of Babylon – I was so disgusted with my
subconscious that I remembered Zion, wept in
repentance, and gave my entire life in service of
the Lord Jesus Christ.” Asked what was different about this wet dream,
the Vicar of Christ said “well the woman, for one.
Destra is one heaven of a woman!” The wet dream did not occur without
consequence. The Supreme Pontiff of The
Universal Church has also made a number of
landmark changes to Catholic moral teaching. “Masturbation and fornication are no longer
sinful. Adultery is only a sin for the first seven
years of marriage after which I totally understand
you wanting to experience coitus with fresh
Instruments. I will also be applying an ex post facto
reprieve for persons spending time in hell for sexual sins.They will all be set free and sent to
heaven. These things are now virtues worthy of heaven. I
mean, it has to be a virtue. I’ve had the worst
back ache for some 40 years now but after last
night I feel so relieved! I think I can go for a walk
or even a jog later.” The Primate of Italy then
thought for a moment and changed his mind. “Actually, no jog. I think I found a much better
way to spend my alone time.”

Lies upon lies !

May God have mercy on us. OP be careful

So, the op is the only one that heard the sayings of the Pope. No link to the pontiff site or any other.

Laffs catch me when I read of transferring people from hell to heaven.

Ok noted.God bless d Pope. am off to my neighbours house for some fresh punny.no longer a sin