I have this cousin who stays at PetersBurg in the US of Virginia. Her name is Efede Dorcas Arubi, she was born and raised in Virginia. Now she is what we Niger Deltans call ‘BOTTI’.
She says ‘awwwwhh’ when touched by a kind gesture.
She says ‘ewwwwwhhh’ when disgusted by an act.
She is basically too soft and weeps when offended.
I find her very dramatic if you ask me, but hey what can I say she isn’t a pure Nigerian.
This my cousin sends me videos all the time.
Some I like, others I just watch to pass away time and majority of them I ask myself what exactly was she thinking when she took the video.
The recent one she sent me is of a Cattle Calving. Now I wouldn’t have bothered to do a write up on this if she hadn’t preceded it with these words and got me totally expectant of something ‘Whoa!’
“Alero, am sending you a short clip and my God its so amazing. In my 15 years on Earth I haven’t seen this. Been asking Dad to take me to a ranch since preschool and this year he finally agreed and we are in White Stallion Ranch Arizona. Its just so amazing that we came when we did. Oh I just love Arizona!. I am so lucky to have seen this in my life, so touching Alero very touching”
Now am not trying to rubbish her obvious delight in seeing a cattle birthing, its just that I find it irrelevant. And here are my reasons:
1. Every week day by 3am I wake up getting ready so I can leave the house by 5am to meet up the office resumption time of 8am because of the traffic situation of third mainland bridge.
2. I leave the office by 5pm and struggle to get into buses that would take me home. Its always 3 hours later before I get home if the road is free. Else well am on my own.
3. Saturdays when am home I wash and clean up the house as I don’t have much time during the week.
4. Sundays its straight to church and so when you do want to rest its house fellowship.
5. Then Monday again…
And so it goes…
Which time do I have to notice this things eh?
Its not my fault in Nigeria we fight our way to survive and don’t have time for trivial issues.
Abi na inside third mainland bridge hold up nai I won take see the beauty of the Lagoon?
I will very much love to get home in time and spare seeing the beauty of the lagoon so I can rest.
Thank you very much.
#BiTribal
Alero Ajems Arubi
Copyright 2015

www.rainafather.

K

I don't understand

Oyind17:
I don't understand

My cousin has no issues bothering her so she can afford to notice trivialities. I on the other hand have road blocks, bad roads, inconsistent power supply, failing economy to battle in the country so I really don't have time for trivialities.

you are definitely in Nigeria dear!!!
As a matter of fact ,i will send you a video of two goats making out

mystiqueDZ:
you are definitely in Nigeria dear!!!
As a matter of fact ,i will send you a video of two goats making out

I don't want to see those goats at all!
That is definitely not Nigeria.

dats the joy of being young and living in a western country,

everything excites them,

when my daughter was baby, we cudnt stay out for 5mins without someone

saying ''awwwww, aint she cute? wats her name'' ects.

visited naija, only pple dat knew she wasn't based in naija seemed to fuss over her,

others just ignored and gave her a straight face. she kept saying they dont like me, they are mean

my point is naija pple mind full, them no get time for little things in life, na how them go take hammer dem

them dey think off.

what is this thread about?

a call to Buhari to notice you? Since you have access to cattle farms and can watch cows give birth like the Fulani do?

a sly way of insinuating Nigerians born/raised abroad are African American instead of Nigerian?

Alero3Arubi:

My cousin has no issues bothering her so she can afford to notice trivialities. I on the other hand have road blocks, bad roads, inconsistent power supply, failing economy to battle in the country so I really don't have time for trivialities.

Hahaha you're def from my generation

My dad raise local hens, we couldn't kill any of them through our stay coz they already named them all like pets.

Esp when on Vacation when I'm supposed to sleep in , all they wanna do is go sightseeing or buggy jumping every single day. What has that gotta do with my overtired body

Like Aunty bebe2 said, that's the joy (abi drama) of being a born and raised abroad. Like my people say, won ko nironu kobo

How many times will my kid come bothering my peace over trivial tooth fairy money when I'm busy thinking about serious stuff?

tpiander:
what is this thread about?

a call to Buhari to notice you? Since you have access to cattle farms and can watch cows give birth like the Fulani do?

a sly way of insinuating Nigerians born/raised abroad are African American instead of Nigerian?

Da whaaaatttt

tpiander:
what is this thread about?

a call to Buhari to notice you? Since you have access to cattle farms and can watch cows give birth like the Fulani do?

a sly way of insinuating Nigerians born/raised abroad are African American instead of Nigerian?

Tplander I really appreciate your effort to reply my topic. Its touching. And to answer you, its no on all counts.
I mean to imply that in Nigeria we don't have time for anything that doesn't add money to our pocket. We a very serious minded people who seive everything that happens and select the important ones unlike our peers abroad who take everything to be important as long as it happens.
Good morning
Happy sunday

Ewuro4:


Hahaha you're def from my generation

My dad raise local hens, we couldn't kill any of them through our stay coz they already named them all like pets.

Esp when on Vacation when I'm supposed to sleep in , all they wanna do is go sightseeing or buggy jumping every single day. What has that gotta do with my overtired body

Like Aunty bebe2 said, that's the joy (abi drama) of being a born and raised abroad. Like my people say, won ko nironu kobo

How many times will my kid come bothering my peace over trivial tooth fairy money when I'm busy thinking about serious stuff?

Lol @ tooth fairly money

Then am a bad mum becos I forgot to exchange the tooth for a coin.

Alero3Arubi:

My cousin has no issues bothering her so she can afford to notice trivialities. I on the other hand have road blocks, bad roads, inconsistent power supply, failing economy to battle in the country so I really don't have time for trivialities.

Getting to notice the little beautiful things around you does not require 20hrs of free time. The clouds as you drive, maybe a rainbow even, the smell of the earth after rain or even those flowers you pass every day to work none of which will take more than a minute to notice and appreciate. You are simply too caught up in your "busyness", take the occasional minute to just laugh at being alive, only one life and the world won't stop for you to get off.

LordReed:


Getting to notice the little beautiful things around you does not require 20hrs of free time. The clouds as you drive, maybe a rainbow even, the smell of the earth after rain or even those flowers you pass every day to work none of which will take more than a minute to notice and appreciate. You are simply too caught up in your "busyness", take the occasional minute to just laugh at being alive, only one life and the world won't stop for you to get off.

You've said it all. The most beautiful things in life are free, we are just too busy to notice them. Sometimes we should try and see things through a little kids eyes and we will be amazed.

bebe2:


Lol @ tooth fairly money

Then am a bad mum becos I forgot to exchange the tooth for a coin.

What can I say, you're a Nigerian

Nigerians are not busy, they are lazy thinkers. Sorry.

I took up violin playing, salsa dancing, flower arrangements and gardening and more activities when I was a broke adult with a crappy job. i had an interesting life. I adopted stray kittens and had a pet goat (he was wonderful ). I love DIY. Nothing kept my sanity after childbirth more than sewing by hand, clothe wipes for my baby (I hate sewing But sitting in a bath doing a sitz bath and simple stitching saved me from constantly crying in exhaustion). But when I ask friends to join me, it's "wo ayam too busy" or "stop dis ya oyibo thinking its joblessness, gwan chase money" and spend their off time attending weddings, sleeping, watching tv, on the internet and in church. Then they wonder why they are bored all the time.

If you want to travel, Idanre Hills, Olumo rock and Obudu are there (no visa required and cheaper than flying anywhere). Art exhibitions and book fairs are free in Lagos (dress well and don't make a nuisance of yourself). You can buy books cheaply (I love all those 2nd hand book sellers, I built my Agatha Christie collection and I was introduced to awesome writers like Isabel Allende and more). A picnic is very affordable, go to Muri Okunola park or Freedom park no-one will challenge you (just keep it clean). Take up a hobby. Take your kids to a farm outside Lagos (where I named one of the biggest pigs I had ever seen in my entire life) and they'll learn more about animals than from tv.

Enjoy the simple things in life, because you will never get those moments back and you don't want to be old and wonder what you did with all your time except attend weddings, stay in traffic and attend church. And sleep at home. i know a lady whi worked hard all her life, would keep her nice clothes for a 'special occasion' and then had a stroke and couldnt enjoy her nice things.

Onegai:
Nigerians are not busy, they are lazy thinkers. Sorry.

I took up violin playing, salsa dancing, flower arrangements and gardening and more activities when I was a broke adult with a crappy job. i had an interesting life. I adopted stray kittens and had a pet goat (he was wonderful ). I love DIY. But when I ask friends to join me, it's "wo ayam too busy" and spend their off time attending weddings, sleeping, watching tv, on the internet and in church. Then they wonder why they are bored all the time.

If you want to travel, Idanre Hills, Olumo rock and Obudu are there (no visa required and cheaper than flying anywhere). Art exhibitions and book fairs are free in Lagos (dress well and don't make a nuisance of yourself). You can buy books cheaply (I love all those 2nd hand book sellers, I built my Agatha Christie collection and I was introduced to awesome writers like Isabel Allende and more). A picnic is very affordable, go to Muri Okunola park or Freedom park no-one will challenge you (just keep it clean). Take up a hobby. Take your kids to a farm outside Lagos (where I named one of the biggest pigs I had ever seen in my entire life) and they'll learn more about animals than from tv.

Enjoy the simple things in life, because you will never get those moments back and you don't want to be old and wonder what you did with all your time except attend weddings, stay in traffic and attend church. And sleep at home.

Respect!

Onegai:
Nigerians are not busy, they are lazy thinkers. Sorry.

I took up violin playing, salsa dancing, flower arrangements and gardening and more activities when I was a broke adult with a crappy job. i had an interesting life. I adopted stray kittens and had a pet goat (he was wonderful ). I love DIY. Nothing kept my sanity after childbirth more than sewing by hand, clothe wipes for my baby (I hate sewing But sitting in a bath doing a sitz bath and simple stitching saved me from constantly crying in exhaustion). But when I ask friends to join me, it's "wo ayam too busy" or "stop dis ya oyibo thinking its joblessness, gwan chase money" and spend their off time attending weddings, sleeping, watching tv, on the internet and in church. Then they wonder why they are bored all the time.

If you want to travel, Idanre Hills, Olumo rock and Obudu are there (no visa required and cheaper than flying anywhere). Art exhibitions and book fairs are free in Lagos (dress well and don't make a nuisance of yourself). You can buy books cheaply (I love all those 2nd hand book sellers, I built my Agatha Christie collection and I was introduced to awesome writers like Isabel Allende and more). A picnic is very affordable, go to Muri Okunola park or Freedom park no-one will challenge you (just keep it clean). Take up a hobby. Take your kids to a farm outside Lagos (where I named one of the biggest pigs I had ever seen in my entire life) and they'll learn more about animals than from tv.

Enjoy the simple things in life, because you will never get those moments back and you don't want to be old and wonder what you did with all your time except attend weddings, stay in traffic and attend church. And sleep at home. i know a lady whi worked hard all her life, would keep her nice clothes for a 'special occasion' and then had a stroke and couldnt enjoy her nice things.

Good on you! Some folks think the only things worth doing are the ones you spend a ton of money on. Even I am weaning myself from that mindset of "make money" and I am trying to do those things that I feel like doing even though it will not fetch me money, the simple delight in doing something can be very soothing to the mind and heart.

Onegai.. Lol @lazy thinkers. We are just too focused , we want it all and forget to live. No adventures , nothing. But we are changing, it's a gradual process, we'll get there.

I kinda agree with the OP.

Even the " most common " things are a luxury to some people. Stop and admire the skies on an empty stomach, running to catch a bus, face aggressive clients and a slave boss?
Relax in a tub and knit when u stay in a face-me house or squatting with a friend or family in one?
stop and admire the scenery of third mainland bridge from inside molue abi how?


Life in Nigeria is REALLY tough for some people. It is.

Ewuro4:
Onegai.. Lol @lazy thinkers. We are just too focused , we want it all and forget to live. No adventures , nothing. But we are changing, it's a gradual process, we'll get there.

I don't think it's focus, because we achieve so little for so much work. The impatience is so bad and there's no where important to go. Sometimes I go stir-crazy because the few friends I have who have lives other than the regular are so few and it's so hard having no-one to share things with. And now that I have a child, it's going to be worse: apparently my life is over now that I'm a "Mother", it's now midweek fellowship, school runs, kiddie parties and market shopping for me ony!

Onegai:


I don't think it's focus, because we achieve so little for so much work. The impatience is so bad and there's no where important to go. Sometimes I go stir-crazy because the few friends I have who have lives other than the regular are so few and it's so hard having no-one to share things with. And now that I have a child, it's going to be worse: apparently my life is over now that I'm a "Mother", it's now midweek fellowship, school runs, kiddie parties and market shopping for me ony!

Well I beg to differ about more work & little achievement analogy. That's a curse Biko .

I won't call it impatience per say but time constraint to fit agenda into one day. Life happens and we can't compare ourselves to foreigners that have no obligations and targets to meet and fulfill. My parents are getting older and even though they don't bother me for stuff, it's a no brainier to liaise with my siblings and cater for their best interest and welfare. I know folks that bring their parents for Dialysis and you know what that entails in regards to funds?

But you're right everyone is busy chasing that one thing and forget to live in middle of the chaos. That's why I'm always thankful for my Friend whom always track Ticket-master for current events. I grew flowers, watermelon and pumpkins etc this summer so you get what I mean when I said we'll get there?

Fitting a square peg into a round hole takes PATIENCE.. Baby steps sweetie baby st...

As per being a mother, hmm my dear welcome to my world. I have an elderly I always speak to about marriage and raising family, she said one statement (actually it was an open question) that comforts me every time I'm stressed out; when the kids are all gone then what?

Some oyibo dwellers are also guilty of this.


They are caught up in the fast life of making money and seem to have time for nothing else. I hear some countries are beginning to make family vacation mandatory for everyone as they've seen that families that take vacations together often have less divorce rates.

I know I was raised in NIGERIA but I didn't grow up with that mindset. I must confess some of my friends thought me weird and some would blame my too much reading as the culprit.

"What do you love flowers for? You wan chop am? You be goat?"

OP is right for Nigerians living on the breadline living is too much of an hassle to even remember to smell the roses. Seriously being poor in the west cannot be compared to being poor in Nigeria.At least poor people in the west know their children will eat at the very worst.

For those in between or slightly more well off however it's just being used to doing the same things again and again and not wanting to try out new stuff.I know people who ask me if I don't get bored when i take the kids to museums and places of interest (which are often free). I love it so much as I think it's a sort of re education for me through my kids eyes.

I told a friend who flew business class to the UK with 2 kids and a nanny to let's go to The British Transport Museum with the kids and everyone knew what I suggested on BBM it was just seriously cracking her up that it was her DM for the day.She said ' u don turn oyinbo finish o wetin we dey go look there' she could not seem to understand that it was just to show the kids how transportation has evolved To her we should have just gone to Westfield. God knows how I hate trawling shopping malls like what are the kids going to learn in a bloody shopping mall

People saying Nigeria is hard, na only us?

I used my last N10, 000 to get that violin and had no idea where to even have lessons. Do you know I found free lessons (from MUSON students) for months and I took the bus daily to it. You need to see how nice people were to me when I carried that case in Oyingbo (I even got 2 job offers elsewhere , one to teach and another in a music store).

Do you know how many job offers I got chasing my hobbies They made me look interesting and people wished to know me and once we got talking, next thing was "here's my card, give me a call when you're ready". Others were slapping under the hot sun begging for interviews.

I know a guy who lives in face-me-i-face-you, he introduced me to a Scrabble club (the oldest in Lagos or Nigeria). It is in Lagos Island (not an upscale neighbourhood). Everyone high and low comes to play Scrabble (their chairman was in either House of Reps or Senate) but once we sat at the board, we were equals. Afterwards he went back to his one bedroom. Did he die from taking a few hours to relax and forget his reality in a healthy, positive manner? Best of all it was free, watching footie at a viewing centre costs money.

If you don't want to take the time to relax, you will have million excuses why not to. Life goes on, whether you carry your face like concrete because Nigeria is hard or whether you take time to smell the roses.

With all the Chinese phones that are cheap and have great cameras and some data, the next time your bus breaks down on 3rd mainland, if your hobby is photography, abeg take great shots and upload on Instagram. You never know and one of Nigeria's biggest photographers was found like that and shoots for BBC and co.

Ewuro4:


Fitting a square peg into a round hole takes PATIENCE.. Baby steps sweetie baby st...

As per being a mother, hmm my dear welcome to my world. I have an elderly I always speak to about marriage and raising family, she said one statement (actually it was an open question) that comforts me every time I'm stressed out; when the kids are all gone then what?

Well to answer your aunt, when your kids are gone, you follow them to their homes and start fermenting trouble for their spouses like a typical MiL I tell my mum "you need to find something to do" when she complains endlessly about my SiL. if my mum was busy with life, she wouldn't care over half the petty things or not that happens.

Just imagine if our elderly parents, rather than stay at home idle, came together and in their neighbourhoods, organised free after-school programs. It gives them multiple babies and kids to dote on and they will be imparting knowledge to children who would be left idle or at home to the mercy of paedophiles or whatnot. Young couples will get a break and the neighbourhood will be safer since everyone will know themselves so when they see someone's child in the wrong place at the wrong time, they can challenge them.

ifyalways:
I kinda agree with the OP.

Even the " most common " things are a luxury to some people. Stop and admire the skies on an empty stomach, running to catch a bus, face aggressive clients and a slave boss?
Relax in a tub and knit when u stay in a face-me house or squatting with a friend or family in one?
stop and admire the scenery of third mainland bridge from inside molue abi how?


Life in Nigeria is REALLY tough for some people. It is.

Unless life has suddenly become a luxury only the rich or those with all the time in world can afford then I don't see how sparing a minute to appreciate being alive is a chore. The food you eat, the air you breathe, the water you drink, the legs you use to walk up and down, music, family, etc many many things to appreciate on the go. It is a truly miserable person who has nothing to appreciate or be thankful for.

I don't get your argument biko. How does not having time for indulging self, frivolities, if I might say, yada yada equate to not appreciating being alive

Nld debate sha

LordReed:

Unless life has suddenly become a luxury only the rich or those with all the time in world can afford then I don't see how sparing a minute to appreciate being alive is a chore. The food you eat, the air you breathe, the water you drink, the legs you use to walk up and down, music, family, etc many many things to appreciate on the go. It is a truly miserable person who has nothing to appreciate or be thankful for.

ifyalways:
I don't get your argument biko. How does not having time for indulging self, frivolities, if I might say, yada yada equate to not appreciating being alive

Nld debate sha

Appreciating the air you breathe is frivolous? Jeez what kind of misery do you steep yourself in?

@onegai et al
how do you balance work and life? there's soooo much to learn professionally if you want to be any good at what you do, that makes it easy for you to tell yourself why bother with all these "frivolities" when I can read XXXX and be better positioned for that new job or something like that.

I'd skip anything that has to do with leisure in a heartbeat(unless the missus or my friends were involved) for something that I think would position me better when it comes to achieving my goals. Of course this has its negative sides(tons sef).

I know there has to be a balance but I just can't seem to find it for myself ,

Onegai:
Nigerians are not busy, they are lazy thinkers. Sorry.

I took up violin playing, salsa dancing, flower arrangements and gardening and more activities when I was a broke adult with a crappy job. i had an interesting life. I adopted stray kittens and had a pet goat (he was wonderful ). I love DIY. Nothing kept my sanity after childbirth more than sewing by hand, clothe wipes for my baby (I hate sewing But sitting in a bath doing a sitz bath and simple stitching saved me from constantly crying in exhaustion). But when I ask friends to join me, it's "wo ayam too busy" or "stop dis ya oyibo thinking its joblessness, gwan chase money" and spend their off time attending weddings, sleeping, watching tv, on the internet and in church. Then they wonder why they are bored all the time.

If you want to travel, Idanre Hills, Olumo rock and Obudu are there (no visa required and cheaper than flying anywhere). Art exhibitions and book fairs are free in Lagos (dress well and don't make a nuisance of yourself). You can buy books cheaply (I love all those 2nd hand book sellers, I built my Agatha Christie collection and I was introduced to awesome writers like Isabel Allende and more). A picnic is very affordable, go to Muri Okunola park or Freedom park no-one will challenge you (just keep it clean). Take up a hobby. Take your kids to a farm outside Lagos (where I named one of the biggest pigs I had ever seen in my entire life) and they'll learn more about animals than from tv.

Enjoy the simple things in life, because you will never get those moments back and you don't want to be old and wonder what you did with all your time except attend weddings, stay in traffic and attend church. And sleep at home. i know a lady whi worked hard all her life, would keep her nice clothes for a 'special occasion' and then had a stroke and couldnt enjoy her nice things.

1 zillion likes!

Please where can I get to learn how to play that juice box (violin)?

netotse:
@onegai et al
how do you balance work and life? there's soooo much to learn professionally if you want to be any good at what you do, that makes it easy for you to tell yourself why bother with all these "frivolities" when I can read XXXX and be better positioned for that new job or something like that.

I'd skip anything that has to do with leisure in a heartbeat(unless the missus or my friends were involved) for something that I think would position me better when it comes to achieving my goals. Of course this has its negative sides(tons sef).

I know there has to be a balance but I just can't seem to find it for myself ,

Find time. See, my brother came out an Engineer with many qualifications, a first class and best graduating student award plus IT experience. His company still had to train him. And a lot of what he learned were practical applications of theories (he and I taking time to visit Hoover Dam taught me more about Fluid Mechanics than all those awful classes with lecturers who were just there with vex in their hearts).

Money can't make anyone happy (trust me, I know). My dad had money and decided to develop some of his properties. One of them was so big we nicknamed it "the MacMansion" after importing all the expensive marble from Italy, paying a great architect and no expense spared, my poor father had a heart attack and died in one of the properties whilst he was inspecting it. He never lived in his MacMansion. He was working too hard to relax.

I know someone who took up golf for relaxing. He has gotten so many government contracts because of whom he meets playing golf. Meanwhile, had he gone to their office to introduce himself and drop a proposal, he would have never heard back from them.

Look at the wealthy, once they reach a certain level, they change their social circle and activities because Networking and smart work is the best way to success.