Pls read this, thanks.

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We were like every other family. At least that's what i like to think. I have five siblings, three brothers and two sisters and that made me the last born. My name is Idris and i am in that stage in life when life feels useless, the teenage years.

My siblings seemed to have worked out their life, I mean even from cradle some of you knew what you wanted to be in life. But me? I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I know it might seem like an easy thing, be a doctor, a lawyer, a business man. But in my case, I couldn't proclaim any interest in anything, and worse I was very low on my social skills and self esteem.

It always hurt me how I can't be like my siblings. Why can't I be as intelligent as my elder brother or as smart as my immediate elder brother or as social and confident as my other brother? why am I different from them? I know every family must have a weakling, but why must it be me, what did I do to deserve this?

It hurts so much, and most times I end up feeling terrible and tears forming in my eyes, but I never let anyone see it. In fact they all think I am one happy teenager. And that's why they never suspected me to be the writer of the suicide note. I had it typed and printed so it became mysterious to everyone as no one knew who wrote the suicide letter.

Our parents had called a family meeting, trying to figure out who their potential suicide child was. The number one suspect was my elder sister Amirat. Just recently dad caught her with her boyfriend at an eatery. It was hell for her as dad scolded her in front of her boy friend and her other friends. She was so embarrassed and she cried all the way home.

"Amirat you know our religion forbid suicide" mum said, trying to make her confess. 'Don't you know that verse in the Quran that prohibited suicide?: "Don't kill yourself. No doubt Allah (swt) is merciful and anyone who does so, will be pushed in fire. And it is easy for Allah (swt)." (Nisa: 4:29, 4:30)"

Amirat denied it but yet our parents weren't convinced.

My suicide note wasn't a bluff. I meant every word I wrote there, and I intended to hang myself when I was home alone. It was on a wednesday morning, the house was empty as my siblings had gone to school while my parents were at work.

I unveiled a rope, cut it a little with a scissor then tied the rope to our living room fan. I scribbled another note down to apologize to them and to tell them it was better this way as I have no future and would eventually become a liability.

Climbing a chair, I tied the rope around my neck, as I did so, my glance fell on our family pictures hanged on the wall. My eyes were wet with tears as the memories played in my head.

I remembered being a kid, playing innocently and mindless of any worry in the world. I remember my play group, my childhood friends, the sand we ate, the dance under the rain.

I remembered primary school, secondary school, and that's where it ended, the happiness, that's where the happiness ended!

My eyes shut, the chair fell and the rope tightened my neck vigorously! It was painful indeed, it was heartlessly painful! I thought it would have been easy, my soul would just leave my body, but this was the opposite, my soul didn't want to leave it wants to live, so it was fighting, fighting to keep me alive, but I knew it wouldn't be for long as weakness overwhelmed me.

If I was given another chance I won't kill myself again, if by chance I live I will learn to appreciate my life and make the fullest out of it, even though I can't make myself happy, I will try to make others happy!

But it's probably too late to wish that now, I felt weaker every second, fell unconscious for a second and felt myself urinating on myself. A second later the exit door opened! It was father!

Like flash, he grabbed the scissors on the table and cut the rope as fast as he could. As I fell, he caught me and right then I felt my soul leaving.

I must have been unconscious for more than thirty minutes. My eyes were greeted by my whole family. Everywhere stinked of poo and it was definitely from me. Urine and feces soiled my trouser.

I don't know if it's the little prayer that I said, but somehow God heard me and gave me a second chance. If I had died, I would have met worse than what I was going through on earth. Suicide is never the option, now I know I can be stronger and I know I can achieve in life, may be not now, maybe not when my mate are achieving their's but when my time is right.

Before you commit suicide read this.

*Hadith is the teachings of the prophet*

Hadith No.1: "Whoever kills himself with an iron weapon, he will be tortured in hell with the same weapon". (Bokhari)

Hadith No.2: "Whoever strangles himself with a rope, he will keep on strangling himself until being burnt in hell. And he who killed himself with a spear, he will keep on being killed by spear until he is sent to hell." (Bokhari)

Hadith No.3: "Before death, a sick person cut his own fingers due to prolonged sickness and depression. Rasulullah (saw) saw him in dream and he was hiding his fingers. Rasulullah prayed to Allah to forgive him for cutting his own fingers". (Muslim)

Hadith No.4: "A hypocrite fighting along with Rasulullah (saw) was very brave in the fight but when he was too much hurt, he killed himself with his own sword to avoid pain. Upon this, Rasulullah (saw) informed all that this person goes to hell. He said that there are some who do a few things to qualify for heaven, but they actually qualify for nothing except hell. Similarly, there are some whom everyone considers as going to hell, but they are actually going to heaven." (Muslim).

Hadith No.5: "Rasulullah said there was a person back in time who had a painful acne and he cut his own wound whereby a lot of blood spilled and he died. Allah (swt) said "Heaven is fobidden to him". (Muslim)

Hadith No.6: Whoever kills himself with a weapon made of iron, he will keep on hurting himself in hell with the same weapon in hell. And whoever kills himself with poison, he will keep on eating poison in hell. And whoever commits suicide by falling from mountain, he will keep on falling in the fire of hell forever over and over again." (Muslim)

Quran and hadith source: http://qurango.com/suicide.html

A big thanks for this write up Mattkent.. It wasn't just captivating but also Educating.
Lesson : * Suicide is Never an Option*.

Omotayor123:
A big thanks for this write up Mattkent.. It wasn't just captivating but also Educating.
Lesson : * Suicide is Never an Option*.

Thanks for going through dear.

true talk mattkent

Mattkend, pls where can I find the full story 'behind her veil' it seems like you deleted some parts

thanks bro

Islam has never being a religion of terrorism it's action and inaction of some unwitting collaborator wand their paymasters within West to tarnish the real image of islam and put to an end the fast rising of Islam on the globe because they seem Islam as a treat to the injustice perpetrating towards humanity that while they keep sponsor war in most Islamic nation Iraq, Iran, Russia,Syrian, Palestinian, and all other nations of Islam to dislodged Muslims and ignite one against another. Islam never preach hatred and enjoin the right woman to to that of man and peach absolute inter relationship between people's of different nation or faith. Religion of Islam is far from the one media propagate with propaganda and all that. Since inception of boko haram no single Muslims had support it occurrence instead we all preach against it. Islam is the only religion that warns about fundamental human right and in most chapters of Qur'an's warn against oppressor especially regards tge right of orphans to the wealth and property left by their parents. Islam contradict most of the lies propagate against it by forbidden killings of innocent soul. In fact Islam is the only religion that values life, if one mistakenly kill a soul either by accident or through unknown means it makes it compulsory for the one kill unintentional to fast for a period of sixth days without resting for a day.This is through image of Islam .Bokoharam and all other social vices in our society are political phenomenon perpetrating by enemy's of Africa to cause chaos and political and economy instability in the land to make our economy and social services worst since Nigeria has been view as a possible world power country. Let join hand together and fight enemy of common purpose and stop blame game between Christian and Muslim. We are one irrespective of our believe and together we shall makes Africa a great continent and Nigeria a great nation.
This is my message to u all

Islam has never being a religion of terrorism it's action and inaction of some unwitting collaborator and their paymasters within West to tarnish the real image of islam and put an end to the fast rising of Islam on the globe because they seem Islam as a threat to the injustice they perpetrating towards humanity that while they keep sponsor war in most Islamic nation Iraq, Iran, Libyan, Russia,Syrian, Palestinian, and all other nations of Islam to dislodged Muslims and ignite one against another. Islam had. never preach hatred and its only faith that enjoin the right of our woman to that of their husband and preach absolute inter relationship peace between people's of different nation or faith. Religion of Islam is far from the one being propagated by media with propagandas and and lies . Since inception of boko haram no single Muslims had support it occurrence instead we all preach against it. Islam is the only religion that warns about fundamental human right and in most chapters of Qur'an's Allah (GOD) warn against oppressor especially regards the right of the orphans to the wealth and property left by their parents. Islam contradict most of the lies propagate against it by forbidden killings of innocent soul. In fact Islam is the only religion that values life, for killing unintentional Islam place a price for such action despite killing because of their foolish acclaimed 7 virgin that never exist in Quran .Hell is the final abode of such people killing innocent soul day by day. If one mistakenly kill a soul either by accident or through unknown means islam makes it a burden upon such person by fasting for complete sixty days . Either by accident or out of foolishness by over speeding it compulsory for such that kill another soul to fast for sixty and seek for forgiveness and tell the family of the victim in other for his prayer and forgiveness to be accepted by most high God. This is real and sincere image of Islam .Bokoharam and all other social vices in our society are political phenomenon perpetrating by enemy's of Africa to cause chaos and political and economy instability in the land to make our economy and social services worst since Africa has predicted has possible world power continent and Nigeria has been view as a possible world power country to wrestle power from America. Let join hand together and fight enemy of common purpose and stop blame game between Christian and Muslim. We are one irrespective of our believe and together we shall makes Africa a great continent and Nigeria a great nation.
This is my message to u all