Benjamin Adaniken My own PIDGIN version by benDApoet. Dear MTN, MTN! MTN!! MTN!!! Make i tell una something, open your ears and hear well. MBOK! I no go go register my line. Una think say na everybody be FOOL? Once beaten twice na FOOLISHNESS O. The only reason WHY una dey behave like slowpoke na because the consumer rights’ protection agencies don PARALYZE or dem don DIE PATAPATA. Before Before, UNA say make we go register our SIM CARDS...we gree, we go, all of us RUSH go do am, we provide all the necessary information so tey una ask us our MAMA maiden name, we tell una. SUDDENLY! Una just Wake up con tell us to go and RE-REGISTER abi na RE-VERIFY una call am without any EXPLANATION. So tey una con block some people line dey even dry threaten US again. ABEG make una no vex o (if you like vex) I wan ask una one question, "shey una dey DRUNK wen una dey register our numbers before before?" Abi person thief una database? Abi one of una workers wey una owe money put virus inside una database? Abi una flash drive lost? Abi una external drive enter water? WAIT FIRST! Abi shey na because I dey give una too many CREDIT ba? OKAY! I don get am....na for book una write our data put then one BIG BENIN rat come chop the book? I no wan know the REASON but this is ALUU EME mbok! BEYOND RIDICULOUS (in chiwetala Agwu's voice) Na because say MTN na my first line and most of my people, friends, families and clients dey use the line na im make me still TANDA with the line... una coverage sef try small that na why when NCC say make we go register our sim, we jump up, run go am. MBOK! Sun beat us, we endure. Rain show us weeeen, we tanda there. Queue long with plenty body odour and mouth odour, we endure am. We no TRY? As I throway face go back, I con see say una MUMU no be here o, e don tey. Una tarrif na im shoot rocket pass both for calling and browsing. The one wey dey VEX me pass be say, una can send spam text for AFRICA. so tey I dey feel like say we dey date each other. I wake up, the first 30 texts na from MTN, I wan go sleep for night, una go send another 30 MUMU texts again. WETIN! Person go dey expect bank credit alert, na 32224 0r 56001 MTN mumu message go show. Even Airtel, wey don change name tire like small pikin dey change pampers no get this una kind PHD FOR FOOLISHNESS...e be like say FUEL dey una brain ba? Una no even dey reason say people wey don do the first registration go still go waste their time do another one ni? Una no get human feelings at all? After one mumu voice go say, "thank you FOR choosing MTN" Thank yourself! Una say make we go register our sim again but una go remember our numbers if una wan send "text YES to 33324 to win one mumu missing moto for kwara..." na first class thunder go strike una. Everywhere, people con line up like refugee wey wan collect one plate of eba, old men and women dey faint like say na PENSION money dem wan collect...on top that one the mumu MTN agents go dey shout, "we have closed for the day." As day dey break people dey rush go queue.. I shake my head for MTN. I just wish say NIGERIANS don pursue una go back to where una come from with all una mago-mago, yeye-yeye, theif-thief and mumu-mumu behaviour, e for sweet me. Infact, I wish say we fit sue una for all the ojoro and 419 money wey una don make for this our OBODO NAIJA. I TWALE for BABA GOD say all other service providers no gree make una use our head drink water... TUFIAKWA! God Forbid. As dem talk say, "na plenty plenty akara dey inside beans na so with moi moi and ekuru,any one I like I choose." So if una like make una block my sim... I go sing, "I don port o, I don port go..." give una. Hand don dey pain me sef... nonsense, american dustbin, basket of rubbish, water no bucket. Una mess AGBO fly gate...I dey Vex! MTN....EVERYWHERE YOU GO. benDApoet.