Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

GEORGE W BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want To know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either against us or for us.
There is no middle ground here.


BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2003 which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook;
internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.


THE BIBLE

And God uttered His voice from heaven, and He said unto the chicken, THOU
SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was
much rejoicing.


MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

A TYPICAL NIGERIAN

Why are you asking me why the chicken crossed the road? abi your own lost?
Abeg, i no want wahala o! I am innocent. Jo, if dem send you come meet me,
tell dem say you no jam me for house.


UNCLE SEGE

The chicken is so happy with her new GSM and big salary that she crossed the
road to vote for me again. I dey kamkpe.


GANI

Why wont the chicken cross the road? When there is no light in her house. No
fuel in her car! No food in her stomach! No job to do! Armed robbers are
after her eggs, the schools are closed,..... ....why wont it cross to the
other side?

CHRIS OKOTIE

The question strikes to mind a perpendicularity of oblivious occurrences.
The rationale for the crawling species of the
henfolk for advancing across the broadway to the obvious greener side,
portray a phantasmagoric allegory in my homosapious mind, that there is a
reason. The metaphoric proposition may be that it is going to cast its vote for
JP and hence justifying it subconscious mind that she has done her civil
biddings.


Personally,I guess the chicken crossed the road to avoid walking past the
front of MR BIGGS, in other to avoid being used to prepare a delicious fried
chicken.

I love the chrisokotie part lol

That Okotie's and Gani's speeches really portrayed them.
Good job.

vizion:

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Personally,I guess the chicken crossed the road to avoid walking past
the
front of MR BIGGS, in other to avoid being used to prepare a delicious
fried
chicken.

I think it avoided the cruelty of the cooks at TFC (Tasty Fried Chicken)

Nice one...good job!

man vizion who u be? i've to give it to you. been a long time since i read a nice joke. kudos to you or whoever u got the joke from

okotie change o...d purpose of communication has been defeated

D chris okotie one is da best i definitely learnt somn there

Lovely joke, vizion. Scorpio, what did you learn?

Those words o, i'm plannin on how to ''speak'' to my friends tomorrow 

the chris okotie's part got me laughing so hard i actually cried. kudos man.

Lol! Chris Okoties' bit was the one that got me...

Pastor Okotie bit shows he's an amazing fellow, who simply put words in the simplest way an un-learned mind can understand. ;

not exactly funny but it makes for very interesting reading. i like it

Snoop Dogg 's Answer:
This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know
what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.


Isaac Newton 's Answer:
The duck suggested to the chicken that they play follow the leader then the duck crossed the road causing the chicken to cross after it, but at the same time holding up traffic, thus proving that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .


Shakespeare 's Answer:
To cross or not to cross, that is the question.


Rene Descartes 's Answer:
Since the chicken does not really exist it was only an illusion that the chicken crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created the chicken that crossed the road.


Ken Lay's Answer:
I was not aware of the chicken's crossing the road or of any accounting tricks used by Enron to disguise the chicken's true position.


John Kerry's Answer:
I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe that the chicken should not get to the other side..


Pete Rose 's Answer:
I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.


Gandhi 's Answer:
All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.


Colin Powell 's Answer:
This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.


Darwin's Answer:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Another Answer:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.


(former) Iraq Information Minister:
There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.


Moses's Answer:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


David Hume's Answer:
Out of custom and habit.


Henry David Thoreau's Answer:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.


Hippocrates's Answer:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.


Howard Cosell's Answer:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly
relegated to homosapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.


Jack Nicholson's Answer:
'Cause it (censored) wanted to.
That's the (censored) reason.

Johnny Cochran 's Answer:
Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.


Machiavelli's Answer:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Another Answer:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which
has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear,
for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained


Arthur Andersen Consultant's Answer:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impact environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken’s mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total business integration solution. (Andersen
Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.



Neil Armstrong's Answer:
To go where no chicken has gone before.

Another Answer:
That's one small step for Chicken, one giant leap for Chicken kind.


Thomas de Torquemada's Answer:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.



Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Another Answer:
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them




Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"


Pat Buchanan's Answer:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


Rush Limbaugh's Answer:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.


Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Gani's answer made more sense and dealt with the plight of the nation; Okotie's answer is foggy, wordy, and absolutely nonsense!

@ajisafe. its all a joke!!! Y not try and see the funny side instead of been judgemental.

@alheri, will you please get off my back! What's the matter with you?

As Scorpio will say, Keep my name outta your mouth!

u got that right

@Efik_Ibo

The part about Wenger was kind'a funny. What do you reckon will be Jose Mourinho's response though?

I reckon it's going to have something to do with telescopes,Voyeurism and Arsene Wenger.

@ajisafe. nothing wrong with me dear, i just want you to loosen up.try have some fun PAL!

You need to loosen up first!

ure such a baby.

I'm having a good laugh right now...

niposts answer: to help pick up a mail that was dropped 2wks ago
a nigerian vets answer: it couldnt find d cure for bird flu and decided to kick the bucket!
a nig, students answer : it was tired of waiting in the queue for admission:
NIgerias answer : to see the coffin of stella
chickens answer CLUCK CLUCK!!

This is sooo freaking funny!!!!!!!!!


Okotie's answer and KFC answer made me giggle. I like em all.

this is totaly hilarious!!!!!!! i cant stop laughing!!!!

very funny