CULLED FROM LAILA'S BLOG

"This happened live and direct in my church.
There is this woman in her 40s who usually sits at the pastor's office. I noticed she behaves like someone undergoing mental deliverance. I remember few times when church prayer warriors organize special prayers for her.
She was healed yesterday and our pastor was happy. I am very close to the pastor. When we were together, in his happy mood he told me what happened to the woman.

The woman was a Deeper Life member (this is not intended to paint any set of people bad. This is a real life story. I have to state out all the facts. Apologies to Deeper Life Christians).
She met her man in the same church. They were both virgins based on their Christian values - No sex before wedding.

After wedding, she expected the man to start making moves, nothing was happening. The husband is like a serving junior pastor in the church.

She started making the moves. And whenever she does, the man was always giving excuses.
"I will minister today, I have to prepare my sermon notes"
"Its a prayer night...I want to be clean before God"
"Blah blah"
The woman could not longer take it. One day, she closed the door, forced herself on him, brought out his pinis, tried to arouse it, nothing happened.

That was when the woman started asking questions. After a lengthy argument, he confessed that he is impotent. And he has been keeping it a secret from his wife (A pastor for that matter).

This lady is core believer (You know deeper Life people na). She decided to stay. No divorce in Christianity. Once you swore an oath on the alter, you are in it for life. Based on her own believe ooooooo. Not mine. Because some churches may not divorce, but separation is allowed especially when they are endangering their own lives through fights and others.

She stayed in the marriage for 20 years. Her younger sister who got married after her now has 3 kids. She is still single and a virgin.
Her ability to bear all this tribulation started running down. She started having mental issues.

The first one happened, when her sister was celebrating her daughter's birthday. They had a little disagreement and she scattered the whole party. When they called family meeting to settle the issue was when she busted out and told her people "Can you Imagine, I am still a virgin". It was like film trick to the family.

Ever since then, she will be walking on the street, talking alone. If you ask her a question, she will be saying something else.

To cut the story short, someone brought her to our church. Where she has been undergoing reform. My pastor summoned her husband. As pastor to pastor. He told him "You are a wicked human being". "You have sinned against man, and God". Its true you have a problem. You are a pastor, spill your problem out, let the world help you. You kept it secret and even subjected your woman to a marital bondage for years. You have wasted her life. Where do you want her to start from?

The genesis of this no sex before marriage. I am not supporting anyone to engage in premarital sex, however, you need to find a way to know your partner during courtship.

Its either you marry an impotent or a sexomaniac. I remember a man that have sex with his wife 8 times a day. Whenever he is coming back from work, his wife will be crying."

www.lailasblog.com/2015/10/no-sex-before-marriage-is-it-advisable.html?m=1

No Sex before marriage was advisable during the time of our fathers and fore-fathers..











In this generation Hell NO!!!!

Not advisable

Na No testing you wan buy?

.

IMO, Its not advisable.

To each, his own.
In summary, one shoe doesn't fit all.

Whatever rocks your boat
No sex before
Sex before
Nothing of such guarantees a happy home

Yes, it would reduce the number of STDs.
Yes, when your religion dictates abstinence before marriage.
Yes, you can give each other the gift of virginity. It can make the marriage stronger.

No, because you may find out that you are not se.xually compatible too late.
No, you deny yourself the pleasure for quite a long time if you marry in your mid 20s or 30s.
No, if you never get married.

I have never understood the rational behind the no sex before marriage rule. That's one of the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Why would someone take a life vow with someone they haven't mated and test the waters about their sexual compatibility.

Sexual frustration is the worse thing that any individual can encounter in a matrimonial. Imagine after getting married you realise that your partner is impotent and can't have an arousal like the pastor in this story.

Not too long ago, a friend told me how his cousin sister got married to this guy who lives in Switzerland. Guy was around 40 and was facing immense pressure from his mum to get married as first son. He then told his mum to find him a wife. Long story short, it turns out guy was gay and that's was why he never cared about marrying. The lady being one who fancy no premarital sex doctrine was delighted when he caution of no premarital sex not knowing that bobo don't do girls. The marriage has since collapsed.

How about a lady insisting on no premarital sex only to turn out a lesbian after marriage with no affection towards heterosexual sex?

How about a sexually active lady getting married to a guy who can't last more than 2mins and can't go beyond a round? How about a sex maniac guy marrying a lady only to discover that the lady can't balance his urges and libido? A recipe to cheat I presume.

If I were a lady and a guy settles for no premarital sex, I'd question his sexuality and proficiency no matter how religious he claims to be. Something is not right somewhere.

Neitzsche

Neitzsche:

I agree and disagree with you in several ways.
I sincerely believe in honest communication where life partnership is concerned; two people might not necessarily have sex to know each others intimate detail, medical tests and honest communication should suffice. The again it depends on the two individuals in question.

How many people would be honest about their sexual deficiencies when they know it can ruin the affair and possible marriage plans? That's the problem. Humans would always want to lock up on any information that might risk their affair.

While medical test is a good approach but how many couple would entertain the idea of running different medical test apart from the conventional blood group, genotype and HIV test. And medical test might not be able to prove a person sexual proficiency and their sexuality.

Not entirely dismissing the need of sexual preservation till marriage, if it conforms with one's belief and moral values fine but they should consider the pros and cons to avert heart-wrenching stories.

People have different sexual appetite which cannot always be put into words

A man who lasts 30mins and a woman who lasts 5-10mins would both think they are okay and the other person is abnormal

Even if we no F* I must see that D* before I say I do.
Babe ain't gonna put up with pencil for the rest of her life. Not me.

all4naija:

Ah!!! My mouth is wide opened on this post. Is this Mrs. Cococandy or somebody else? Bwahaha...

Sex is like a spiritual connection that binds genuine relationships. If your gf insist on no sex before marriage, just get ready to lose her at any given time! But even when she thinks otherwise, lure her and give her the best romance of her life while pretending like you don't even care about the sex since you love her and don't wanna hurt her. If possible give her correct HEAD! And don't forget to gently slide in once she's in climax. By all means have your way but don't ever rape. That girl will end up loving you more than she did before, infact she will be more than crazy for you even if she seemed furious at 1st. Do it to the girl you can settle down with, don't break hearts.

I dont know what the writer of these article mean by "find a way to know your partner during coursthip " , But if it means Been alert to signs that indicate their ability to procreate even if there is no sex before the marriage . Its okay


Besides, No sex before Marriage doesn't mean all form of Affections are forbidden ( The Shulamite girl and her Sheperd boy in the songs of Solomon no doubt express some affections, Only that care is exercised so as not to fall into immorality ... Am a supporter of NO SEX before marriage, yet There will be moments two people who Love each other and wish to spend their lives together will share together through which you both can decipher the person's sexuality even without having sex before marriage. So thats why I dont buy all this crap story of impotent or whatever that people spread around to justify immorality .

for those saying you need to sleep with each other to know your sexuality, HOW MANY MEN OR WOMEN WILL YOU SAMPLE before seeing the one that met your sexual needs ? i wont be surprised if such a man or woman starts to cheat in the marriage or become loose after tasting different men and women before the marriage

Sex before marriage ( sometimes, the woman/girl is the one insisting on it).

However, my stands is that even if the two of you are sex machines, and perhaps have tested a few before now and now that you are together, you are very compatible sexually, and then you get married. What makes you so sure that he/she will sustain such sexual energy within a few years in the marriage. I am a Pharmacist, and I have seen men lose their high sexual performance within a few years of marriage (or even a dating relationship). So it may be ecstatic now, but the question you should ask before marriage is remember;
- it is for better for worse( so the sex life may seem very good now, just have it at the back of your mind that it can become bad someday)
- testing many partners before marriage, can leave you heart broken when you encounter someone who is far better than you in bed and this person does to you what you have been doing to others whom you were better than in bed, likewise this person that rejected you may also meet another person better than he/she, and the loop of heartbreaks continues...
- multiple sexual partners can lead to STIs, unwanted pregnancies(condoms are not 100% effective, and they can break during the act especially when not used correctly), and then not everyone is comfortable with Abortion. Also hate, have seen people murder a past partner due to heartbreak
- Many young men now, in order to impress their girlfriend use drugs( such as Viagra) for long lasting erection, sure it does work, but with time, don't be surprised that you will always need a Viagra pill to get an erection, and of cause, Viagra also has side effects, and some men still abuse it( taking more pills than recommended)
- Also, every person you sleep with is potentially someone else's future wife/husband ( Haba, show some respect)

With all these in mind, I will say, before the marriage, you may test yourselves, in case of any impotency, infertility, etc
And if everything is fine, and your fear is how long will he last on bed, there are very good herbal supplements that boosts libido and performance, and trust me, I have seen them work( remember I am a Pharmacist, with 3 years experience in community Pharmacy practice, I handle at least 2 of such cases weekly).

Mind you, I am in a relationship, yet no sex. Though, there have been occasions where we almost did it, but we both agree that it is better we wait, and we are very happy that way. Yes, even in this generation, there is pride in keeping yourselves until marriage

You know what I always tell people, what matters most is after the whole pleasure, "what next", remember your earthly life can end at anytime ( a baby born at this moment trust me is old enough to die, so what about you). Its Heaven or Hell remember!. RelationSHIPs are like SHIPs, if your girlfriend/boyfriend is sailing to hell/heaven, you don't need a soothsayer to tell you where you're headed.