Greetings

I am writing this to clear my mind and to seek for advice. Am not certain yet if a problem is going to arise, but from recent happening, its as if there might be a problem in the future and so am seeking for ways/steps to take in other to avoid it. It all started sometimes in June when a friend of mine gave me one of his shop in a main market to start up a business after my failure to secure a job. After I had moved in and started, then came this lady that owns the shop next to mine. She just automatically became a good Samaritan to me. She had always and really helped me a lot in the market, which I had always appreciated and reciprocated without having any motive in me. Everything was moving smoothly until around September, when I started noticing changes in the way she act towards me. From calling me everyday, to trying to bring food for me and coming to my shop to feed me wherever she is eating, then on Sundays she will call and ask me to come visit her or vice versa so we can see/talk. This I always decline, sometimes by cooking up a lie (which I don't like doing). Anytime I travel or didn't make it to the market, she will be calling me and saying that she is missing me and that I should do and come back as she can't wait to see me. Any day, anytime, she will always draw up scenarios that will bring us together, and on my part I will always bring up something to spoil her plan, and one can see the disappointment on her face whenever I thwart her plan.

All this got me worried as her gestures towards me is way above that of a normal friend (and still growing) to the extent that people in the same line with us are already having the notion that we are dating (though I don't care what they think). This lady am taking about is someone who goes to church always and she is prayerful, so am ruling out the possibility of a sex*al attraction towards me and just to add, she is way older than me.
The incident that broke the camel's back was when she started telling me stories of men that got married to women who were older than them and how successful the marriage turned out to be. This just confirmed my fear as to the fact that she maybe having in her mind that we may end up together as a couple.

Now, I want to put an end to all these, but I don't know how to go it. And I really want to do it in a way that I won't appear ungrateful and rude, as she has really tried for me.

.
NB:The lady in question is an active nairalander, so there are certain info that I didn't put up there in other not to blow my cover.

Are you a man or a boy?

.

God don't want you for wahala.....
Lady don wakacome by self
Wetin remain

Ol d things wey I dey read for NL sef

Ok, Op are you also interested or just being strong head?

INTROVERT:
Are you a man or a boy?

Why do you ask.

FruityLass:

na land you come buy.

tell her your mind the earlier the better... Abi you wan make we tell her for you?

FruityLass:


God don't want you for wahala.....
Lady don wakacome by self
Wetin remain

Ol d things wey I dey read for NL sef

Ok, Op are you also interested or just being strong head?

Am not.

INTROVERT:
Are you a man or a boy?

Not necessary.


@OP, you gotta be careful sha, you have made few mistakes already but nothing spoil.

Had a similar experience in Benue state.

It started the very day I opened the shop, her first move was to help me sweep but I refused.

Second time was to help wash few of my clothes but I refused.

She even brought food on few occasions but I didn't accept any.

She got tired and stop trying.

Later that same year, another guy took the shop next to her own and the lady did the same thing. He fell for it and they started dating. Everything was good in the beginning, she dey even use him do yanga for me but who cares?

They had a serious argument argument one day and the lady threw a bucketfull of water inside the guys shop(a chemist shop) no need telling tell you the amount he lost, just becareful.

It works for others but I don't date girls that are that close to me. Especially in business, nah.....

It is business or nothing.

Hazardd:
tell her your mind the earlier the better... Abi you wan make we tell her for you?

I can count like three occasions where I jokingly told her my stand with her. I told her in such a way that, a normal thinking person would understand. But it seems like she didn't buy it.

Tallesty1:
Not necessary.

Help me tell her.

If you don't have anything for her( which am not certain of) you need to call the said lady and have a serious talk as to which way you the supposed guy want it to be.

#except
#my2kobo

INTROVERT:
Are you a man or a boy?

see question... cant you see his name- AltarBoy

AltarBoy1:
Why do you ask.

1) As in how old are you & the lady involved 2) why do you want to put an end to it? & besides if don't want to have anything to do with someone, why u still indulging her?

@op, is she beautiful, attractive, articulate or presentable? Does she possess the qualities you need in your kind of woman? Age alone shouldn't be a barrier.

This ur story have made me burn my plantains and splash hot oil on my hands
Can I get a sooory

Ikaosunwon:

1) As in how old are you & the lady involved 2) why do you want to put an end to it? & besides if don't want to have anything to do with someone, why u still indulging her?

Am i my mid 20 and she, above 30. Am not indulging in her. There is no say I can escape her as my shop us next to her. Like today, I didn't mk it to the market, but I have started seeing her missed calls already.

goodmorning40:
This ur story have made me burn my plantains and splash hot oil on my hands
Can I get a sooory

Sorry bro. But, can I get a taste of your plantain.

Feign an epilepsy attack in her presence.

Or the next time she tells you about her marriages tell her about the girl that gave you HIV.

If these don't deter her then she's a keeper and you two should get married.

jaey:
If you don't have anything for her( which am not certain of) you need to call the said lady and have a serious talk as to which way you the supposed guy want it to be.

#except
#my2kobo

My body language hv always shown that I want everything to end at the market. But she is not getting it. And since she has not explicitly stated what's on her mind, I can't just sit her down and start talking about it.

AltarBoy1:
Sorry bro. But, can I get a taste of your plantain.

The thing burn blackoo and it's bitter, but if u don't mind just open ur mouth wide hold it still for sometime let me throw the plantain through nairaland I have faith it will deliver

Kingsasian:
@op, is she beautiful, attractive, articulate or presentable? Does she possess the qualities you need in your kind of woman? Age alone shouldn't be a barrier.

Truth be told, the character that she presented is a very good one. She is a hundred yards wife material. But, am not thinking of getting married soon. Even if I become Dangote today, it will still take me like 5years before I start to think about marriage.

goodmorning40:

The thing burn blackoo and it's bitter, but if u don't mind just open ur mouth wide hold it still for sometime let me throw the plantain through nairaland I have faith it will deliver

Am already eating rice, so just send d plantain info the rice. Your username to you.

AltarBoy1:
Am already eating rice, so just send d plantain info the rice. Your username to you.

Not it will miss the rice, only mouth scent it recognizes.
My username back at u

AltarBoy1:
Am i my mid 20 and she, above 30. Am not indulging in her. There is no say I can escape her as my shop us next to her. Like today, I didn't mk it to the market, but I have started seeing her missed calls already.

you lack guts bro no guts no glory end of my story but incase you need someone to tell her off send me her number on 08151164299 she no go try come near you again

Karmanaut:
Feign an epilepsy attack in her presence.

Or the next time she tells you about her marriages tell her about the girl that gave you HIV.

If these don't deter her then she's a keeper and you two should get married.

lol. You really funny.

goodmorning40:

Not it will miss the rice, only mouth scent it recognizes.
My username back at u

hmmm. Your plantain na heat sensitive missile?

AltarBoy1:
Truth be told, the character that she presented is a very good one. She is a hundred yards wife material. But, am not thinking of getting married soon. Even if I become Dangote today, it will still take me like 5years before I start to think about marriage.

then its easy. Sit her down and tell her that. So that she doesn't feel hurt on the long run.

INTROVERT:
Are you a man or a boy?

stupid question coming from this forum bot... Is like s.eun didn't programmed you well..

When she started telling you stories of older women marrying young men, you should have listened, nodded your head to some of her points and then tell her your stand.

She: Like three women I know that got married to younger men; they are so happily married. I would like to get married to a younger man

You: Hmmm...true. Marriage sometimes can work irrespective of the ages of the party BUT I don't want an elderly woman for a wife. I want a young wife because men get married to young women too and are happily married.
So, what is oga waiting for na, me I wan come chop rice.

She: No oga oh...oga for where. I am still looking up to God.

You: Sha do fast...no let me do my own before you do your own...one babe dey my area...etc.

What have you done in this convo? You have stated your stand.

She tries to feed you...tell her you don't eat from single women as you don't want any issue with 'her' oga; she tries to sweep for you...ask her how much she will take for sweeping. She calls you too much; pick it, say you are a bit busy. She says she misses you, tell her not to miss you before your madam gets mad.

She is playing a subtle game and you should play the game with her as well. Be courteous, never let down your guard but do not show contempt.

AltarBoy1:
hmmm. Your plantain na heat sensitive missile?

Right on point.
Now back to ur issue, ur female friend is a desperate woman and it is very easy to offend such people, be careful.
Henceforth begin to refuse her help or favors, maintain a reasonable distance from her no checking on her nor bumping into her shop, don't call her. Whenever u have the opportunity tell her how u can never marry a woman a day older than u are
Gradually she will withdraw

AltarBoy1:
lol. You really funny.

I'm serious.
Essentially you're killing two birds with one stone:
First of all it might deter her, which you want.
Second it serves as a "test" of sorts: if she's pursuing a romantic relationship with you you'd want to make sure that she's loyal no matter what.