1)“No matter how person chop Belle-Full,
space go always dey for meat” -
Ibrahim Babangida, 1987.




2) Death is life's way of telling you that
you've been fired. Suicide is your way
to tell life, "you can't fire me, I Quit!"



3) Mum: I'm talking to you & you're
keeping quiet abi?
Me: But.....
Mum: Keep quiet! when I'm talking to U..




4) So Satan was all alone in the garden of
Eden with naked Eve and all he could
do was convince her to eat an apple?




5) I went to shoprite yesterday. A lady
was buying cucumber while I was
buying vaseline . Please tell me why we
are both wasting money.



6) If your Girlfriend is crazy about
you..Pray she never gets well..Cos if
she does, then another guy is giving
her tablets.




7) When trouble knocks and one says
there is no chair, what if it says it
brings it own seat.




Don't spend all of your money trying to
look like you have money. That's
Hustling backwards




9) This lady on my flight got a goodbye
kiss from her boo in PH and a welcome
back kiss from her fiancé in Abuja.
These women aint loyal.




10) A Bentley just bashed a Range Rover
SUV in Lekki. The two owners came
out, inspected the damage, exchanged
business cards and left




11) Whoever said technology will replace
paper, has definitely never tried to wipe
their ass with an Android device




12) Why is it that women find it difficult to
keep their mouths closed when putting
on their mascara?





13) Ruth & Esther made moves on d men
they married. The only women with
books in d Bible. Ladies try make a
move on a man today & thank me later





14) Girls be like "I miss u baby" and that
status be having like fifteen foolish
guys feeling special





15) Guys,don't just open the door for that
lady cos she's pretty and you want to
get in between her legs. Do it just cos
you're a good man.




16) Doing things for your man doesn't
make you inferior to him. Rather, it
makes you a good woman.




17) Being pretty doesn't keep a man,being
good barely keeps a man. The only
thing that keeps a man is a man that
wants to be kept.




18) Yoruba women won't cross road when
others are crossing..only to start
kneeling and begging u in d middle of
the road..Baba oko mi ejo o





19) If u gave her lollipop to lick and she
broke and chewed it instantly,my
brother,don't ever,I repeat EVER,ask her
for a Mouth Action




20) Nothing brings tears faster to my eyes
than a peeled groundnut that falls from
my hand.So painful.




21) Some people won't obey simple
instruction in church.Pastor will say
hold ur neighbor and pray,they will
start swinging ur hand.nawa





22) When a cheater says I won't cheat on
you again they really mean"I
slipped,next time you won't catch me"




23) Some guys unhook bras in less than
5secs,but take 55mins to open the
book of Hebrews.Continue,your koboko
is soaked in petrol in hellfire




24) Some girls will be screening guys dey
want to date as if its Nigerian idol,
don't worry u will start Gulder Ultimate
Search when you are 32.





25) TEACHER: Mention one expensive drug
you know.
STUDENT: Samsung galaxy tablet.




26) Wiz Khalifa And Rick Ross standing
next to each other look like the number
1O



27) You tattooed his name permanently on
your hand, he later broke your heart.
you are now looking for his namesake
up and down,you are finished




28) On the issue of cooking,I strongly
believe as a married couple u should
work as a team.The woman pounds the
yam,the man eats it.

funny collabo

No 1,18,19,21,23,24, really got me cracking up.


Thumb up!

Nice..

So hilarious

gud 1

This is good thinking!

Too gbasky