Thank you

kpofkpof:

This is my story, there's no point hiding it.

i am already in my thirties and i really need to settle down. I was dating a guy for over six years. The first three years were terrific but this relationship later turned sour as i discovered that from the day we started dating, the said guy had been cheating on me (i mean from day one) as he claimed he had dating the other lady before he met me. it was hectic for the remaining years as he resulted even to violence before we called it quits.

I met someone else like 2 years later and because i hated the male folk with every drop of blood in me, i didnt take the person serious. He was always on and off because of my attitude and proximity as he is not based here in the country. Towards the later part of last year, we started becoming serious and he proposed marriage even before he came back.

Now the problem is this the head of their family has practically refused to approve the union because we come from different states in igboland, they are trying to enforce another girl for him to marry and he claims he is fighting against that.

Sometimes when i try to reach him, his phones are either switched off or they would ring without response. He cliams the head of the familiy siezes his phones and that is the reason why i cant reach him.  Last time he went to the village to sort things out, same phone siezing stuff happened and i couldnt reach him, eventually when he called i was so pissed that i told him off, i said that if he cannot stand up as a man now, is it when we get married that he would? i cant imagine someone in his age bracket of 38-40 undergoing that. i was so angry that i didnt talk to him for over 2 days, he later called saying that he is just knowing my kind of person; that all that glitters is not gold and some other annoying things.

Out of frustration, i gave him a piece of my mind and told him the truth about his attitude and dropped the phone. since then he says im mannerless for cutting the phone on him, i'm insultive for saying that a man his age should be so scared of an uncle who supposedly is the head of the home. and since then, i havent heard from him despite the fact that i was already pregnant.

This same man has a baby girl outside wedlock, and recently one of the girls he dated just surfaced with a boy she claimed is his, and after series of test, it was actually confirmed that the boy is his. meaning he is already a father of two.

My ex is seriuosly begging for forgiveness and wants to settle down with me. So i need HONEST advise from my fellow nairalanders- Is Mr. B really worth the stress. I must confess that he is a very caring person, but then is he really matured?

Should i go back to Mr A; i am not sure if his coming back is geniuine, i dont know if he has changed.

Infact should i just leave both of them and wait to see if some one better would come my way.
Please i dont want people throwing tanturums here, if you dont have what to say, quietly leave for another section.[/b]Your honest advise is needed promptly.

Thank you

Look at this stupid girl
You came asking for advice and already you're already getting an attitude
You said you're in your 30's abi?
perhaps my age sef
why can't you solve your silly love problems by yourself ?
you are no spring chicken in case you don't know.

You dated a man for [b] over 6 solid years without a commitment and had no clue the man cheated all through .
That alone tells me the level of your intelligence
Then you leave loverman A for B who turns out to be another loser with 2 children out of wedlock and you decided to be the third babymama.
A man who lets his uncle decide who his wife should be.
In case you don't know,the uncle story and the seizing the phone rubbish is a code word for "You are not the one"
then you call yourself kpofkpof and let people chop you and throway the waterproof
are you retarded?

Don't you have parents and siblings that can sit you down and tell you the bitter truth.
You should be asking yourself why you keep attracting losers.
Might you be one?
Think about that

kpofkpof:

This is my story, there's no point hiding it.

i am already in my thirties and i really need to settle down. I was dating a guy for over six years. The first three years were terrific but this relationship later turned sour as i discovered that from the day we started dating, the said guy had been cheating on me (i mean from day one) as he claimed he had dating the other lady before he met me. it was hectic for the remaining years as he resulted even to violence before we called it quits.

I met someone else like 2 years later and because i hated the male folk with every drop of blood in me, i didnt take the person serious. He was always on and off because of my attitude and proximity as he is not based here in the country. Towards the later part of last year, we started becoming serious and he proposed marriage even before he came back.

Now the problem is this the head of their family has practically refused to approve the union because we come from different states in igboland, they are trying to enforce another girl for him to marry and he claims he is fighting against that.

Sometimes when i try to reach him, his phones are either switched off or they would ring without response. He cliams the head of the familiy siezes his phones and that is the reason why i cant reach him.  Last time he went to the village to sort things out, same phone siezing stuff happened and i couldnt reach him, eventually when he called i was so pissed that i told him off, i said that if he cannot stand up as a man now, is it when we get married that he would? i cant imagine someone in his age bracket of 38-40 undergoing that. i was so angry that i didnt talk to him for over 2 days, he later called saying that he is just knowing my kind of person; that all that glitters is not gold and some other annoying things.

Out of frustration, i gave him a piece of my mind and told him the truth about his attitude and dropped the phone. since then he says im mannerless for cutting the phone on him, i'm insultive for saying that a man his age should be so scared of an uncle who supposedly is the head of the home. and since then, i havent heard from him despite the fact that i was already pregnant.

This same man has a baby girl outside wedlock, and recently one of the girls he dated just surfaced with a boy she claimed is his, and after series of test, it was actually confirmed that the boy is his. meaning he is already a father of two.

My ex is seriuosly begging for forgiveness and wants to settle down with me. So i need HONEST advise from my fellow nairalanders- Is Mr. B really worth the stress. I must confess that he is a very caring person, but then is he really matured?

Should i go back to Mr A; i am not sure if his coming back is geniuine, i dont know if he has changed.

Infact should i just leave both of them and wait to see if some one better would come my way.
Please i dont want people throwing tanturums here, if you dont have what to say, quietly leave for another section.

Your honest advise is needed promptly.

Thank you

but your NL profile says 22.

Well, in my view, I think you made a serious mistake by turning blind eyes to certain thing about the guy.

Before i comment, let me ask you, if you return to your ex, what are you going to do with the pregnacy? Is your ex aware of the preg?

I never knew there was this kind of discrimination in Igboland

Osisi easy on the lady nah, no need to be so mean to her, not everyone is as smart as you nne beko.

davidylan:

but your NL profile says 22.

ROFL
a warning to all you yimmers and yammers
You could be chatting with your mother's age mate

Im sorry to say this poster but u r very stupid
A guy has been cheating on u from day one and u were with for SIX yrs with no commitment whatsoeva??

OgidiBoy:

I never knew there was this kind of discrimination in Igboland

Osisi easy on the lady nah, no need to be so mean to her, not everyone is as smart as you nne beko.

there's discrimination everywhere .Even in the same village,some family members will be mad you're marrying into a "no name family"
That's besides the point.
The girl is already pregnant,we should be suggesting capable maternity homes to her at this point.

@ poster


Since you have lied about your age I'll  follow osisi and call you  stupid girl

the girl na real kpofkpof. Empty space . . .

$osisi:

Look at this stupid girl
You came asking for advice and already you're already getting an attitude
You said you're in your 30's abi?
perhaps my age sef
why can't you solve your silly love problems by yourself ?
you are no spring chicken in case you don't know.

You dated a man for over 6 solid years without a commitment and had no clue the man cheated all through .
That alone tells me the level of your intelligence
Then you leave loverman A for B who turns out to be another loser with 2 children out of wedlock and you decided to be the third babymama.
A man who lets his uncle decide who his wife should be.
In case you don't know,the uncle story and the seizing the phone rubbish is a code word for "You are not the one"
then you call yourself kpofkpof and let people chop you and throway the waterproof
are you retarded?

Don't you have parents and siblings that can sit you down and tell you the bitter truth.
You should be asking yourself why you keep attracting losers.
Might you be one?
Think about that

Succintly stated Case closed, NEXT

OgidiBoy:

@ poster


Since you have lied about your age I'll  follow osisi and call you  stupid girl

ooooooooooo
I told you the girl has no common sense.
What reasonable man dates a grown woman for 6 years and what girl would waste 6 years of her life with a man and no commitment
she said more than 6 years and judging from her lying tendencies,it could be 10 years.

OP, forget abt both of them, start afresh.

Osisi, true i wonder why they date for long. 3-8 years is a long time to date someone ah!

Choose the one dat fires better

No long thing ,fi le !

I think both of them are losers. The first one was violent and a cheat so he is pretty much useless. The second one is 40 and still acts lke a 10 yr old. A fool at forty is a fool forever. I know that at your age there s a lot of frustration there but I will say it again like I always do "A broken engagement is better that a broken marriage" anytime, any day. Times are changing. You will find love again. Take the time though to deal with your bitterness that you got from your first boyfriend hurting you. Your anger towards men will even make it easier for you to let a good man slip away. Bitterness is not cute.

I quite disagree that the lady must specified her true age on the forum before she can be taken serious.

I also disagree with the kind of insult being ppoured on her by all and sundries. It show that we consider ourselves the alpha and omega of wisdom. people who cannot go wrong. That someone was decieve for six years is never smething new and we know that there are chamelon among us who can transformed into anything.

The fact that everybody run riot and started calling the lady stupid is an indication of intolerance. I know that most of us did not specified our ages on the profile. I also know that some peopleactually posted for other people just to conceal their identity.

Nairaland will be a better place if only issues are take on merrit and people dealt with with courtesy and respect. let your opinion be guided by desire to genuinely interested in other people's problem.

Anyway, e go beta!

::

Na wa for all the 'smart'  madams of NL, who know all and are never guilty of poor judgment
There is no need to insult the OP. If you don't have any advice for her, please pack up your self-righteousness, ignore the thread, and move on.

@Poster
I would suggest you try to work things out with Mr B given that you are already pregnant, and if things don't work out, raise the kid on your own.
Mr. A is a definite NO, particularly after he showed tendencies for physical assault.
With your poor selection of men so far, I wouldn't suggest you bother with a Mr. C.

Kpof-Kpof,Mr A with his stories of phone confiscation by elderly bros is a big fat lie,get that into your head.Plus,u look like u are just desperate abt the marriage thingy,chill out,u can never get the best of anything when u are desperate. . . .if thers anything,u wud only ned up in a mess. That aside,i suggest you forget abt both men and concentrate on having and taking care of your baby.Being over 30 and not married is not a curse or problem,marriage isnt a do-or-die affair too.You have something to hold on to and to cherish(your preggie),focus on that for now and forget abt the men. . .both don't even seem to be serious.They are losers with issues and if u hang out with any of them,u wud have bigger issues.
register for ante-natal,keep thanking God for the opportunity of motherhood that hes just given you and enjoy each day as it comes.
All da best 

@Osisi

why do u have to burn her like that

The same view wth osisi,

The Poster is not even replying.

@osis, i have read your response and i wonder why you are attacking me left right and centre.

I just read through my story and found out that you guys misunderstood me, probably becos in a hurry to finish ystday i skipped something. what i wanted to write was- despite the fact that i told him i was pregnant. In the real sense of it, i am not, i just told him that to see what his reaction would be.

secondly- i think this goes to David. how many pple on NL put their real age for the whole world to see. You know for sure that my real name aint kpofkpof.

for those who called me stupid and all sort of names, there's no hassles. I just pray it doesnt happen to you. Would you be following a guy everywhere just to make sure he aint cheating on you?

All i just wanted was a good piece of advise from my fellow Nlanders, but i really cant believe what i am reading.

Its just Ifyalways and co who gave me a little sense of encouragement, but i must confess i really dont know what is wrong with me, Am i that daft or something. Someone told me that i trust people easily and i have gotten hurt several times. pls can someone tell me how to grow out of this weakness of mine

Thank you all at  least for replying.

The first man lied,cheated and deceived you for over 6 years,the second man uses his uncle excuse to lie and deceive you and now you're using pregnancy lies as a weapon to pin down the man.


oya kpof, I wish you the best

osisi, i AM not in anyway using pregnancy lies to pin him down. How can i pin him down when the other lady didnt succeed.

I just said that to know if he would even call me- thats all. You know just to know if he will say 'hey i dont know what you're talking about, better abort that thing" or something else. I want to know his innermost mind.

you are just being unneccessary hard on me. Take it easy. shit like this happens all the time.

Its possible he is lying to me, its also possible this could be happening for real.

You are actually complicated my already confused state

kpofkpof:

osisi, i AM not in anyway using pregnancy lies to pin him down. How can i pin him down when the other lady didnt succeed.

I just said that to know if he would even call me- thats all. You know just to know if he will say 'hey i dont know what you're talking about, better abort that thing" or something else. I want to know his innermost mind.

you are just being unneccessary hard on me. Take it easy. shit like this happens all the time.

Its possible he is lying to me, its also possible this could be happening for real.

You are actually complicated my already confused state

Biko forgive me o
I'll advise you to leave both men alone and focus on yourself.
Like someone said,you sound desperate.
You don't need to be,the world is unkind to desperate people.
The right man will come along,forget these 2 men
The first one is a lying cheat,you're doomed if you marry him,the second has a lot of garbage with him and is an irresponsible fellow.

thanks, thats what i have resolved to do, i just wanted to know if i was going too far as a friend of mine said.

Thank you

kpofkpof:

thanks, thats what i have resolved to do, i just wanted to know if i was going too far as a friend of mine said.

Thank you

I hope u took my advice & resolve to stick to the one with the longer thing . . . .