If you are able to get an erection while masturbating or you often have one when you wake up in the morning and yet you struggle to maintain an erection when having sex, you are almost certainly suffering from Performance Anxiety Erectile Dysfunction. It can be a serious problem that can end relationships - this very fact can add to the pressure being experienced by the sufferer and a vicious circle is formed where the sufferer worries more and the Performance Anxiety becomes more pronounced.

The Cause?

The root cause is always being worried about pleasing your partner to such an extent that is all that's on the sufferers mind. How can I please my partner with a limp penis? How can I make her climax - by the way this can be done easily without penetration.

The pleasure of sex is the last thing on the sufferers mind.

Men with Performance Anxiety are often caring, generous people, even though they may not show that during the stress of Performance Anxiety.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

The most important change in attitude is to be selfish when it comes to sex. Look at your partners body as something that's just there for your enjoyment - an adult playground, something to be explored and enjoyed for your own gratification. A lot of men have problems with this but the fact is that if you are enjoying yourself, your partner feeds off your enjoyment and greed and their level of enjoyment sky rockets and visa versa.

Breathing correctly is important as helps you to relax. Deep even breathes are best, breathing in deeply as well as breathing completely out. Imagine when your breathing out that you are breathing out all your cares and worries. Obviously your respiration rate will increase as you get aroused but try to keep it even and deep.

A couple of hours before sex, work yourself up to a frenzy imagining what you are going to do to your partner later by masturbating, but don't climax.

Get rid of the pressure. This can be done by telling your partner that you don't expect to get an erection before you start having sex. Say you haven't been feeling well - or whatever but that you want to be close to her and have some pre-intimacy. Take everything slowly. Remember though that while you are suffering with Performance Anxiety, you must maintain the attitude that pleasuring your partner must remain as just a by-product of pleasing yourself. Relieve pressure by making your partner climax before attempting penetration - performing oral on her clitoris is usually the easiest way.

The role of the partner is crucial in overcoming Performance Anxiety. Pressure on the sufferer must be avoided like the plague, a caring understanding attitude is important and any negative feelings of - "he doesn't find me attractive anymore" or "he's seeing someone else" must be pushed to the back of the mind while you both tackle this problem. Tell him you don't care about the problem - even if you do! Let him know that penetration isn't important and that you can do so many other things to pleasure each other. Did you know that a man can climax while soft? If they climax they are obviously excited, so that is a strong statement to overcome the partners doubts. Kissing can be very sensual. Oral including 69's, handling all sensitive areas - explore each other in almost a casual attitude. Role playing can help. For instance take it in turns to dominate each other. The partner of the sufferer can pretend she prefers his penis soft so she can dominate him properly. It must be tailored to your own personal tastes, but being adventurous pays off.