If you have difficulty saying "no" and always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself - you are not alone. Many people are not good at saying "no" because they are afraid to hurt other person's feelings. But saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout. Thinking you are a bad person for saying no is a symptom of "the disease to please."

But the good news are you can say "no" to anyone, even a closest friend, without being rude or feeling guilty about it.

At the end of the day, it’s about how you say “no”, rather than the fact you’re saying no, that affects the outcome. Here's how to do it:

* Reply Fast

If someone made a request to you, and you want to say "no", but do not really know how to do this and you let this person hanging with no answer for days or even weeks. That is actually a lot worse than saying "no" in the first place. A person certainly won't forget about his request, and this way you will put yourself in a bad light and might lead to negative consequences in the future. So, if you want to say "no" - do it right away.

* Be Reasonable

Be firm, calm, and clear. Explain why you are saying "no". Maybe, you have a tough week, or it doesn’t meet your needs, or you are not the best person to do this. Be honest, especially with close friends, and they will understand. But remember, that you owe nothing to anyone, so you don't have to explain all the circumstances and your full life story. You can try using this phrases:

“Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?”

“I’d love to do this, but …”

“This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.”

“I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”

* Propose Alternative Way

Maybe you can't help this person yourself in a way he is asking for, but you can think of someone who would help or something you could do. “I just don’t have time right now. Let me recommend someone who may be able to help you.” Or set the boundaries: “Let me tell you what I can do…” Then limit the commitment to what will be comfortable for you.

It's nice to be nice, but knowing when (and how) to say "no" is crucial to your sanity. Wielding the power of those two little letters requires tact, manners, and courage, but the payoff is worth it. Whatever the case may be, focus on the positive outcome of your effort to give good no.

After all, you have your own priorities and needs, just like everyone has his/her own needs. Saying "no" is about respecting and valuing your time and space.

Personal experience:

Friend: Hey Hillz, I kindda need a favour from you, I've run outta cash, and something big has come up, can you please lend me 10grand...

Me: Well, Bro am not really loaded right now, I wish I could help you out, well here's what I can do, I give you #2000 for free, you go huzzle out the rest.

Friend: mennn, its not that I won't pay you back....I will, trust me!

Me: I know you will, I don't just have it, believe me! Here's the #2000

Friend: Tnx menn....At least, you've tried!

Lesson: Even if you don't have, at least help out a bit. Not really a fan of borrowing; people paying back can usually be an ordeal, so just give it out for free, that way; Everyone stays Happy...

Feel free to share!

On point... But then always use the word "Sorry" it solves a multitude of problems

reading......

noted.