If someone could help me, every year my Nigerian husband flys off to Italy, for a month, all the men in the family go, no women are invited, unless they are Nigerian and quite mature in years. I find the whole thing far too strange. I am not allowed to question my husband, or even aloud to mention it. I don't speak of this to anyone, but why all the secreats? If anyone out there knows what this tradition is? My husband is from Edo state, he's very straight with everything else, but just this i have to accept, all he says is i won't understand. If someone knows, Please tell me. Thankyou. Mrs Okofoh. x

okofoh:

If someone could help me, every year my Nigerian husband flys off to Italy, for a month, all the men in the family go, no women are invited, unless they are Nigerian and quite mature in years. I find the whole thing far too strange. I am not allowed to question my husband, or even aloud to mention it. I don't speak of this to anyone, but why all the secreats? If anyone out there knows what this tradition is? My husband is from Edo state, he's very straight with everything else, but just this i have to accept, all he says is i won't understand. If someone knows, Please tell me. Thankyou. Mrs Okofoh. x

Maybe he is involved in a prostitution ring.
There is a huge number of Nigerian prostitutes in Italy. He may be involved.

Oh i see, well i don't think my husband would be involved in that kinda thing. No there is more to it than that, my husband not really interested in women of that nature, he has alot to loose, if that was the case. Plus he is married to me, my family are Sicilian, and that would be too shameful. I thought about spying on him, but that would be very expensive. Maybe ''OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND'' i will just have to wonder! I thought i would get a better answer than what you suggested. I know my husband on that level, he is very attractive, very smart, woman like him, but i know of one thing he wouldn't betray me in that way. I hear all sorts of things said about Nigerian Men, that they Cheat, commit Fraud, have other family's back home, many terrible things, but you get that in all cultures, Black or White. I think i will learn his language in secret, it looks hard, but i have to try, i understand the pigeon english alittle, because i am surrounded by it all the time, but the Ebo is something else. Thankyou anyway for your answer, i appreciate you taking time to reply to me. Take Care Young Man.

the answer is right in your face. search. its either drug or prostitution. you might not like it .

Well Thankyou ode remo, i fear that it's bad, so therefore i will just pray about it, and leave it to Jah. I Love my husband more than i can put into words, and sometimes he lives life on the edge. I'd rather not know, and just do the best i can as a wife. We have a young daughter to raise, so therefore maybe it's best left. God see's all of us, i will leave it in his hands, and just hope that for my husbands sake it's not what you say it could be. Thankyou for your time.

am from benin too.It is two things involve here,he is either prostituting or pushing drugs.These are the common things happening in italy now.If it were to be london or Scotland i will say he is there for business.But Italy, Many things are involve.Please just pray over it

Yes i've prayed about this matter, and i feel in my heart that my husband is just there for Business reasons, maybe as all the family men go, maybe it's to with money. I can't ever imagine my husband risking everything for Prostitutes, and he's very against Drugs. He would lose so much if that was the case, i feel bad now for thinking or coming on here. We are from London, so it must be purely Business. I 100% KNOW IT'S NOT DRUGS OR PROTITUTES. He is very intelligent, to smart to throw his life away on things you can get here in London, just like that. He knows i would end everything if that was the case,i hate Drugs. And he Loves only me, that i'm sure off. Thankyou everyone for the advice, but i am just going to leave it in God's Hands, since praying, my heart feels calm, i don't feel fear anymore. XXXXXXX

okofoh:

Yes i've prayed about this matter, and i feel in my heart that my husband is just there for Business reasons, maybe as all the family men go, maybe it's to with money. I can't ever imagine my husband risking everything for Prostitutes, and he's very against Drugs. He would lose so much if that was the case, i feel bad now for thinking or coming on here. We are from London, so it must be purely Business. I 100% KNOW IT'S NOT DRUGS OR PROTITUTES. He is very intelligent, to smart to throw his life away on things you can get here in London, just like that. He knows i would end everything if that was the case,i hate Drugs. And he Loves only me, that i'm sure off. Thankyou everyone for the advice, but i am just going to leave it in God's Hands, since praying, my heart feels calm, i don't feel fear anymore. XXXXXXX

the people talking about prostitutes need to break it down for you to understand. be prepared for the shock. he is definately doing business there but not the one you know. hope you are not another gulible foreign woman on NL?

Thankyou JJYOU, but i am not Gullible, although when you are married, they has to be Trust in the relationship. Maybe my husband dosen't want to bore me with family matters, all the men in the family go on this trip once a year, they can't all be having they way with protitutes, thats just daft, plus we are a religious family, i am 30 years of age, we have been together since we were 19. In our first years of marriage i was still learning my husband's culture, i think by now i know him inside out, it's just this one secret. I am usually always one step ahead of him, we have the same thoughts and dreams for our future, and our beautiful daughter, and our child thats on the way. I am not just some foreign woman thats gone into this marriage with my eyes closed, I know what Nigerian men can be like. My husband likes to keep his thoughts to himself, he had a difficult upbringing to mine, he dosen't wear his heart on his sleeve, but he isn't totally ruthless, Prostitutes, Drugs, Human Trafficking, Fraud, all thats just to obvious, people that practise this kinda of lifestyle are pure evil, they are cold, heartless, they don't have a Conscience, i see the world before me everyday it's like the last days. NO i am not a fool, a man who lives life that close to the edge, would trip up by now. You can't put on the nice act everyday with your happy honest family, then be a ruthless, nasty drug dealing killer, on the other side, oh yeah it does happen, but something always shows through in people like that. Karma, life catches up with people like that, they either end up dead, or end up messed in the head. I've come to the conclusion that it's something more meaningful, and for that reason, maybe it's not my place to know, God reveals people into the light from the wrong they are doing. Nigerians do tend to get the raw end of the deal, when it comes to there reputations, and there way of life, it's a corrupt country, but there are also alot of good in them, as in all races of life, i am from Italian parents, but brought up in England. Some Nigerians are totally ingrained into there culture, you just can't break them, only a stronger force can break them GOD. Anyway thankyou once again on your views people, but i know my man, and he's way to gentle and kind, very sweet natured. Only time will tell, maybe when he returns, he will find it in his heart to tell me, and then again he may just keep his trip a secret, i won't probe him. Don't always think bad about people, none of us are Perfect. take care xxxxxxx

okofoh:

Thankyou JJYOU, but i am not Gullible, although when you are married, they has to be Trust in the relationship. Maybe my husband dosen't want to bore me with family matters, all the men in the family go on this trip once a year, they can't all be having they way with protitutes, thats just daft, plus we are a religious family, i am 30 years of age, we have been together since we were 19. In our first years of marriage i was still learning my husband's culture, i think by now i know him inside out, it's just this one secret. I am usually always one step ahead of him, we have the same thoughts and dreams for our future, and our beautiful daughter, and our child thats on the way. I am not just some foreign woman thats gone into this marriage with my eyes closed, I know what Nigerian men can be like. My husband likes to keep his thoughts to himself, he had a difficult upbringing to mine, he dosen't wear his heart on his sleeve, but he isn't totally ruthless, Prostitutes, Drugs, Human Trafficking, Fraud, all thats just to obvious, people that practise this kinda of lifestyle are pure evil, they are cold, heartless, they don't have a Conscience, i see the world before me everyday it's like the last days. NO i am not a fool, a man who lives life that close to the edge, would trip up by now. You can't put on the nice act everyday with your happy honest family, then be a ruthless, nasty drug dealing killer, on the other side, oh yeah it does happen, but something always shows through in people like that. Karma, life catches up with people like that, they either end up dead, or end up messed in the head. I've come to the conclusion that it's something more meaningful, and for that reason, maybe it's not my place to know, God reveals people into the light from the wrong they are doing. Nigerians do tend to get the raw end of the deal, when it comes to there reputations, and there way of life, it's a corrupt country, but there are also alot of good in them, as in all races of life, i am from Italian parents, but brought up in England. Some Nigerians are totally ingrained into there culture, you just can't break them, only a stronger force can break them GOD. Anyway thankyou once again on your views people, but i know my man, and he's way to gentle and kind, very sweet natured. Only time will tell, maybe when he returns, he will find it in his heart to tell me, and then again he may just keep his trip a secret, i won't probe him. Don't always think bad about people, none of us are Perfect. take care xxxxxxx

I think you are the "daft" one.
If you know the answers to your questions, why come on a forum for answers. Why are you so much in denial.
By "Prostitution ring", what i meant was that he may be involved in trafficking women for prostitution in Italy. No Nigerian man would go all the way to Italy just to sleep with prostitutes when there are prostitutes everywhere. Don't be silly.
A lot of Benin/Edo women are taken to Italy all the time where they are used as prostitutes. Their "pimps" make them prostitute themselves until they make enough money to be free. Your husband may be a love-vendor.
Don't bother responding to my post. You asked a question and i have answered it. I have used the word "may". If he is fine, if he isn't well thats your problem

ok a-town.

A-town:

I think you are the "daft" one.
If you know the answers to your questions, why come on a forum for answers. Why are you so much in denial.
By "Prostitution ring", what i meant was that he may be involved in trafficking women for prostitution in Italy. No Nigerian man would go all the way to Italy just to sleep with prostitutes when there are prostitutes everywhere. Don't be silly.
A lot of Benin/Edo women are taken to Italy all the time where they are used as prostitutes. Their "pimps" make them prostitute themselves until they make enough money to be free. Your husband may be a love-vendor.
Don't bother responding to my post. You asked a question and i have answered it. I have used the word "may". If he is fine, if he isn't well thats your problem

thanks for savng the day. i knew a lady here in london who was a big madam. the husband never knew anything until someone she owed blew her cover. she is so religious you will never know.

okofoh:

ok a-town.

enjoy ma'am. nigerians and italians are first cousins in smartness and crimes

I do Apologise A-Town, i took what you said out of context, i am Pregnant, does things to a womans mind. I shouldn't of come on here, it's not like me to air my thoughts and worries on websites i'm unfamiliar with. I didn't mean to vex you. ''Daft'' and ''Silly'' i am neither of these thankyou. Denial,well i might be, maybe my Consciousness won't let me accept painful thoughts. I don't really care anymore. Take Care x

He goes for a month without telling you nothing and you still talking about trust?
anyway no one on this site can really know what is going on with your husband apart from him, all we can do is make suggestions and to be honest if i were to say anthing it will have to be he is involved in something dodgy. I suggest you ask him.

Why can't you just ask him - non confrontationally and non aggressively? It sounds like you guys are close and have been together for years. I think you could ask.

And you JJYOU, if i offended you in anyway, it wasn't my intention. I suppose like A-Town said i asked the Question's, sometimes good honest people, get taken in by the wolfs in sheeps clothing! I am leaving you people, this place isn't for the likes of me. Thankyou for your insight.  

this place isn't for the likes of me. Thankyou for your insight

meaning?.

I had a strange feeling you wouldn't just let me be. I meant i shouldn't be on here, i've got other commitments right now, other pressures in my life, i have ill health, i don't want to explain, i am tired of life, everything right now. The insight, maybe that was the wrong word to use, who cares, everything is upside down anyway. I wish i just let my mind wonder, instead i came on here, air my boring pointless problems, now my mind is doing over time. I can't just ask my husband stuff, i don't want to rock the boat, apart from my woes that i keep secret, i have a nice comfortable life. But inside i am broken, ok Happy now. bye

Do you need an oracle to tell you he's hiding something. He probably knows half the chics in italy. They are from his tribe. Ex girlfriends perhaps? You need to snoop. I dont believe in letting sleeping dogs lie. Unleash your inner detective. If it bothers you enough to table it before this forum then its serious.

Come on guys, quit being so mean to poor Okofoh. Hey you never know the guy maybe going to Italy for his township meeting we don't know. A lot of Nigerian living in small towns where there are no Nigerians would come to Dallas ones a year to attentend Nigerian meetings.

I really feel 4 u, in my opinion i think u should ask him and whatever answer u get 4rom him just take it like that, being it true or false. Cos like u said u are pregnant, i'll advice u don't stress ur self u so u can have a peaceful and save delivery. If u love ur husband then let the love overcome all ur doubt and keep on enjoying ur lovely marriage. But do ur self a favour pray 2 God. Wish luck

Well it's real nice to get someone who is polite and caring. My husband is coming home early, from his trip . I am not pregnant no more, sometimes the stresses of life do things to destroy your soul, plus i have other serious health problems, but thats toooooooooooooo depressing to talk about, i got ill from my first pregnancy, I won't be asking him why he went, maybe it's something to do with his ever demanding family, if they want something, no matter what, cost, ect, they have to have it. I've come to the conclusion it;s something to do with money, so therefore thats why i am kept out of it. My family are very wealthy and help out usually, but there is only so much you can give. I feel somewhat bad about coming on here, like i've betrayed him, it's like a secret, it feels sneaky. Anyway i gotta rest my body, it's so tired, generally i am a happy person, strange things have happened to me in life, but i am still breathing, and i have a family thats very loving. Thankyou for your kind words x

Don't worry God is with u, that i belive, thank God u are prayerfull, as a good woman u have done ur best i guess for ur husbands family, But keep it up cos u are only trying to keep ur marriage safe and happy. U actually didn't betray ur husband, u just asked for opinions here, u might have gotten good or bad opinions here. One thing u should know is that no one tells u what to do, so what ever we tell u here its now up to u to do xactly what u want.
I really wish u the best.

Hi Raven95. Thankyou, i do believe in Jah (God), i am religious, i Pray everyday, i don't have a set time, i think you can Pray to God anytime, anywhere, although it has to be somewhere peaceful and private. When i go to God in Prayer, and my heart hurts beyond what i can bear, you know in real desperation, i get a instant calm in my heart, the feeling is so Almighty, it's a feeling you couldn't put into words, not like the way a human touches your heart, it goes way beyond that. If you make the time and effort to have God in your life, learn about him, you can benefit so much more, like on a personal level. God is there, people just have to much going on in there lifes sometimes, that they take everything for granted, and don't stop and realise, what a difference there lifes would be with faith in there hearts. Prayers don't always get answered straight away, i believe God uses people to answer our prayers, through there hearts, or otherwise how would they know what to say at the right time, if they don't know what your problem is, and you haven't mentioned it. You seem like a Holy person yourself, with a good moral heart, may you always have Blessings in your life. Thankyou for your kind words. x