My night was crazy. It was as if mosquitoes were on rampage. They spoiled the joy I had after eating beans and indomie.
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The mosquitoes were so plenty that their combined sounds were like that of a Cherubim and Seraphim choristers. They bit me like something else. They made me beat myself almost to redness. As if that was not enough, with the rate at which they sucked my
blood, by now i must be having low sperm count, ehhmm, I mean low blood count!
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The clapping was so much that i simply started singing, turned the whole experience to worship time.
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In the morning, hunger dealt with me next. Before long, the worms in my stomach began their own World Cup opening ceremony.
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I decided to visit one of my girlfriends during the day. At least, i know that a meal will surface and truly, the sweet girl served me a delicious meal of Amala and Vegetable bombarded with
egusi and meat.
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After the meal, we were relaxing with her family members when a strange odour of mess started diluting the conditioned air in the room. Imagine
me, the stranger, in the midst of her parents, two sisters, and two other relatives.
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Everyone started throwing speculative glances at each other but none talked.
After some minutes of watching a comedian on tv, another odour began sifting through the air.
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I was so surprised that i didn't know when i said: 'Haba!!!'
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All attention was on me. My girlfriend threw me a questioning glance to which i shook my head. The question
on my mind was, "who is that wicked person polluting the air?"
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Just as power supply was interrupted, in the ensuing silence, we heard a 'piiihuuun' sound and another 'shiiiiii' coming from my girlfriend's father and one of the daughters. I was shocked!
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These people don't know me. I kept quiet and the air was so "barbaricaly" smelly. They started the generator and the A.C resumed work. My girlfriend asked me to her room, i told her not to
worry. I had a mission.
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I adjusted my sitting position, and on cue, the beans and indomie i ate last night started working. I raised half of my bumbum and i let out an airy 'weeeeee' gaseous concortion.
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In ten seconds, the father sneezed 12times, the mother blew her nose 24 times, the two relatives started arguing. I noticed that the little fishes in the aquarium by the wall had stopped swimming.
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I did not rest, i raised the other half of my bumbum and let out a silent fart. In five seconds, the air changed to the smell of dead rats. The family started arguing. "Darling, stop polluting the air. We have visitors. " the mother said.
"Its not me. Its Bose" (the second daughter), the father replied.
"Daaa-aaady! I don't like it o. I farted by mistake once and you are blaming me for your actions." Bose retorted.
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I kept my eyes glued to the TV, and just then my girlfriend came back. As she was making the leather chair make loud noise, I released another deadly quiet and unseen fart. Before long, the two relatives excused themselves. The mother said: "I think i will need to rest." And she left.
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Shaperly, me sef stood up and said: "Thank you sir. Thank you ladies. Goodnight sir." The father said, "Thank you CBJ Please, come again. And sorry for the mess."
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Outside, my girlfriend was apologising seriously. I looked at her, smiled and i told her not to worry.
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I walked home with the smile plastered
on my face.
Tomorrow is another day.
Thank God its ‪#‎Friday‬

hahaha
tomorrow is a new day, you look like someone dat will go back to dat house well equipped to complete your torture project

God have mercy on you sir