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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Assorted Jokes (1912 Views)
Letter To Nepa & Sundry Jokes. . . / Chinese and Asian Jokes / Nigerian Jokes (2) (3) (4)
Assorted Jokes by ologbodudu(m): 5:18pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
Man of the House The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on." The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers." He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!" The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!" He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!" "And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."[/size]
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Re: Assorted Jokes by ologbodudu(m): 5:21pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s@&*?" |
Re: Assorted Jokes by ologbodudu(m): 5:33pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
A pompous self made grocer named Bates gets his son into an expensive private school. On day One the whole family is there to see the little blighter begin his first day at school. The grocer, his family in tow, saunters into the principal's office and introduces himself thus: "I am Sir Shortweight Bates. This is my wife, Lady Bates, my daughter Miss Bates and my son Master Bates." "Oh does he?" asks the bemused principal, "we will soon get him out of that terrible habit." |
Re: Assorted Jokes by ologbodudu(m): 5:35pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!" |
Re: Assorted Jokes by ologbodudu(m): 5:38pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother." |
Re: Assorted Jokes by Scorpio(f): 6:29pm On Nov 02, 2005 |
Re: Assorted Jokes by damygurl(f): 5:53am On Nov 03, 2005 |
diz one is da best!!! very funny!! ologbodudu: |
Re: Assorted Jokes by whiteshark(m): 9:10am On Nov 03, 2005 |
nice work bro |
Re: Assorted Jokes by jenny247(f): 10:41am On Nov 03, 2005 |
The Amish boy tale got me rolling over |
Re: Assorted Jokes by Oracle(m): 12:23am On Nov 04, 2005 |
well a couple once went to a wishing well then the husband went to the well threw a coin, bent down and made a wish then the wife came to the well, threw a coin and bent down but she bent down so low and then she fell into the well. the husband said "so it really works". |
Re: Assorted Jokes by Rolly: 7:47pm On Nov 04, 2005 |
nice jokes keep it up! |
Re: Assorted Jokes by tolutope(m): 6:33pm On Nov 07, 2005 |
they were luvly..... really cool... |
Re: Assorted Jokes by fabian(f): 2:10pm On Nov 08, 2005 |
All nice jokes, but i like the Amish one best! |
Re: Assorted Jokes by Cayon(f): 6:23pm On Aug 17, 2008 |
@poster: well well, thanks for the sunday afternoon laugh |
Re: Assorted Jokes by MrInfo1(m): 6:42pm On Aug 17, 2008 |
Joke of 2006 A.C (After Christ) |
Re: Assorted Jokes by royalyinx(m): 9:19am On Jan 04, 2009 |
Brb, Please don't go away as i am not thru yet |
Re: Assorted Jokes by Nobody: 9:52am On Jan 08, 2009 |
funy i stil dey laugh |
Re: Assorted Jokes by yysl: 10:15am On Jan 08, 2009 |
i just start laughing |
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