Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? - Family - Nairaland
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| Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 9:40pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Pls guys, im jez curious and i need the comments of matured men to shape my thought. *I am 24yrs of age and unfortuneately for me, im in love with a 23yrs old. I say unfortunate because alot of people will say at my age i should be hussling hard and leave women, But guys, im not flirting i love just this one girl. *I am a ND graduate of accountancy and presently i am on a 45k pay role working for a construction company as an account clerk. *my total life savings as i speak to you is fairly above a 100k since febuary where i started working fully, i had my downs at first and i couldnt save more than that. I still wanna go back to school as i have already enrolled for PT. It wunt take more than 2half yrs. But i am aprehensive Not that my babe is putting pressure on me but from our communications i could tell she would love to get married before 27. If i even decide to ignore her expectations, looking at my own life, dear already established men of nairaland. Can i finish school, as i willbe sponsoring myself, get an apartment, even if its a mini flat, pay bride price and then marry a girl i love in 3yrs or better still before im 30yrs of age? Tho, am more concerned with the 3yrs projection cos the only issue here is money, nothing more. Please feel free to let me here your view. Thanks |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by alterswerve(m): 9:53pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
I'm not a 'mature' man as you implied, but I've got something to say You are one guy with potential.. You've got plans... And the issues of your bae at heart, if what you posted here is true. Sigue así! |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Nobody: 10:01pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Misspicy where are u? Ur attention is needed |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by yomi007k(m): 10:04pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Op, u got d answer yet u ask the question. Do u want us to tell u a lie? |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by misspicy(f): 10:04pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Oma307:  ...lemme read firstmodified... op what is the rush into marriage for...are you a first born? even.if you are a firstborn,u r just 24...or did they put a mark on d lady that she must be your wife or u will die? i thought its only ladies that are eager to marryam amazed at you o... my advice,drop all this thoughts of marriage,go to school,make money wella,if the babe is still available good and fine,if she is not,there are many fishes in the river  2 Likes |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Nobody: 10:10pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Eida u cn profound solution 2 his problem misspicy: |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by kilokeys(m): 10:12pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Erhmmm.. Follow ur head.. I didn't want this mess.. Thats why i am dating a 20 yr old.. I am 28... No pressures.. We both can do our thingz. |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by jaymejate: 10:54pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
1... I like you say you get planz. 2... I understand that this is love. 3... If this gurl cant Wait for you, that means there is no love but rush. 3b... Some people might be a good friend but might be a good wife. 3c... If she can't wait, then go for another lady who God will choose for you. 4... Take your time to achieve well and make sure that your salary alone without your savings can feed atleast 3people. Then after marriage, you can furthermore. If she's a woman of wisdom and understanding she will stick to ur plan and run the race with you. 5... Don't rush into Hell Fire |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
CuriousGuy1: You can hustle and still make out time for love. Love is a beautiful feeling. Don't allow people tell you anything else. You live now and you should enjoy it as much as possible and if the relationship satisfies you, then it is a good one and you should continue. Whether you can get married in three years or not is irrelevant for now. Nobody knows tomorrow so enjoy the now. 1 Like |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by refreshrate: 11:19pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Guy have a registry marriage, that doesnt cost much. If you believe shes the one. Remember love is a two way street and its not only you in the relationship. Her desires too deserve to be respected. Deciding to fulfill all your needs first might be dangerous. Youll never forgive yourself if she walks out cos it seems youre not ready to settle down. Shes aware of your situation and is still willing to take the plunge with you, trust me things always work themselves out, nothing better than an understanding partner with you on the ride. Best of luck! 3 Likes |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Nobody: 11:40pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Misspicy's advice is kinda harsh but I like it. Please pursue those things that will make ur marriage a sweet one b4 u rush into it. U can make her stay with u if she really loves u. Just do d best u can and pursue ur education. And please take good time to plan for ur marital life |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by bukatyne(f): 12:44am On Nov 22, 2015 |
CuriousGuy1: What is your girlfriend's contribution towards ensuring you guys are married in 3yrs time? I admire the fact you are planning ahead however, do not let her pressure you. Now is the time for you both to pursue your dreams and have a plan for the future not her telling you 'be ready for marriage in 3yrs' Goodluck |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by haftob(m): 4:10am On Nov 22, 2015 |
From wat I've seen, ppl's lives tend to progress positively wen they get married than wen they are single mayb cos of responsibility. So I'll advice u to keep the wedding in mind and be determined to av it b4 ur time target. I bliv u don't need much money to av a decent traditional wedding. Looking at it from the religious angle, the person u'll marry is coming wit her own destiny so her wants will definitely be catered for, mayb her destiny is her living luxuriously, therefore it will also affect u by making sure u're very rich for u to be able to cater for her needs. And also, if it's ur destiny to be rich, notin can stop u to be rich whether u're married or not, this is wat we human beings don't understand and it makes us just chasing shadows around. I knw many ppl won't reason with me but I knw wat I'm saying. 3 Likes |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Pidggin(f): 6:53am On Nov 22, 2015 |
haftob: |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Exponental(m): 7:18am On Nov 22, 2015 |
build your future... drop the issue of marriage for now. tell her you will marry her after you've finished schooling and fully settled. if she doesn't reason with you, then you will be making a very wrong decision if you base your future on emotions cos emotions don't pay bills. |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Eketem: 10:35am On Nov 22, 2015 |
Beyond paying bride price and having wedding these are my concerns : Can you pay rent? Can you pay for light water, fuel for generator and other utilities? Do you plan to have kids immediately? Can you cater for kids needs ( believe me raising kids is very very expensive) most people pressuring you to have kids won't give you the true picture, even with exclusive breastfeeding you will spend a minimum of 20k every month on your child ; immunisation, diapers, soap and toiletries etc babies are expensive. What is your wife's contribution towards all this? My advice: don't be doing super man, sit with her and plan your life, plan your life not a wedding. People are getting wiser, have a parlour traditional just immediate family, have a court wedding and apply for church blessing during Sunday service. There will be much more room for celebration later. If you spend all the money on wedding people will eat and go and you will be left with debt and anger. Share your plans and work together financially, it is not too early to start joint savings if you are both sure of loving each other. All those extra N1000, N2000 will amount to a lot if saved in 3 years. Plan your life realistically, people who progress when they marry do so because of proper planning, don't build your future hoping on fate and destiny, do your part God will do the rest |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 4:44pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
alterswerve:Thanks bro. I aprc8 |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 4:47pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
Eketem:I am immensely pleased with your contributions. Its alot of thought provoking questions there. I would ponder over dem 1 Like |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 4:50pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
bukatyne:To be sincere, ive never really discussed this wit her beyond the surface. But since it has come on here as a frequent advice i Will sit with her n discuss it both. Thank 1 Like |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Eketem: 4:50pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
CuriousGuy1: I am happy to be of help, I wish I could scream this from the roof top to young people. Finances are the major cause of post wedding fights, it's good to plan finances very very well. You are smart you will do very well God helping |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 4:52pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
refreshrate: Gracias!!! |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by CuriousGuy1: 4:59pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
kilokeys:Hahah. Bruh, but seriously, i admire ur humility if i can term it that way. Oga mi i dont know how to chyke girls am like 3yrs older than. Esp those that put uncle infront of my name before i even say hi to them. Although, if i didnt get their age n they look matured than the age, it could work, but it has to b someone i dont know from adam |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Nobody: 7:35pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
@OP Take my words! It's very easy to fall into poverty than to move out of poverty. The sole reason why there are so many uncared for children and uncompleted buildings out there is because many people fails to plan well before embarking on their projects, instead they believe just in faith. Use your six senses. Love is always a sweet thing when every other essentials of life are there. Plan well. |
| Re: Can I Get Married In 3yrs Time? by Richy4(m): 8:38pm On Nov 22, 2015 |
<<<<< Thank God your field was accounting. At least it is a cousin to Finance >>>>>>Every thing boiled down to one thing and that thing is Finance >>>> What does your girl do for a living? if she is still a student or about to be a student, tough sh!t because she will no longer be the responsibility of the parent within that year but yours are you ready for that. But if she is working good for you at least we are heading some where.... >>>> Marriage is not an easy thing because it Involves Money both before and after. It is not something you rush into my brother. though I understand how much you love this girl but assuming you are not a Nigerian, I would have said the whole thing will workout immediately you finish your education. Nice job is waiting for you... but Nigeria being what it was, if you got no one, you might stay for 8months still searching for a better one....... >>>>>Since you love her so much, Is it possible according to your custom and tradition take some wine and kola nut and make your intension known to her parent within two years. at least for them to know that someone has a good intension towards their daughter with hope that within few years she will be fully yours or will they chase you with bucket of water and broom sticks |
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