This one happened when I was in secondary school, boarding to be precise, we still lived on the top floor of a twin 3 storey building rented of course, that gives 5 different neighbors shey? And me ehn I can like to form like mad, why because I was the only one in that compound that was in ss2 and a boarding school, it was kind of a big deal and I always felt like those US marines coming back from war every time I'm coming back for holidays...you know dragging my box, with my well iron school uniform, I wouldn't know how its spelts but it sounds like 'Gaytor' that sharp iron line on trousers ehn it is never missing on mine, and when I enter compound like this the small small boys there will be running towards me like "boda Mohammed iyaf come o", some of our neighbors girls will just be peeping from window and me I will just be feeling myself like superstar.
That was the normal routine o, iron my shirts well well to hide all the sufferness man have suffered in school and brush my hair until I see those small small waves if I dinor see it iyaf not brush finish, bottom line when I come home everybody go sha feel the boy, mehn I too form.
But as this story dey go ehn there is a fateful day o, so on this fateful day.... It was holiday right, end of second term, mum came to pick me up, and the plan was she would drop me off at home then go back to shop and come home when she close which would be around 6.30pm, she sha dropped me at home, the usual welcome parade ensued sha and this girl that lives downstairs I think she was in ss1 then finally summoned the courage to say "welcome" as a forming guy now me I just waved like "how are you" and headed for the stairs Hehe, in my mind I was like "omo na me she greet o, ehen so this one sef like me? Omo na to form fresh boy o, she don even dey get small brezz" you know boys and puberty now, I sha got home, I dinor even shower, I just dropped all my load and brought out my result and started doing a review on how I performed, that was how I remembered that I didn't finish my golden morn, it was remaining about half the bag, I went and took it poured the whole thing in a bowl and all what was left of my beverages in it, bournvita enough to make tea for 5 people only me, "my result is worth celebrating" I thought, and again mum doesn't like when you bring leftover provisions home. Before I knew this golden morn have swell up and was looking impossible to finish, shey izii not me? I off all my cloth remain boxer, actually a tight underwear with 'tommy hilfinger' inscribed on it and ofcourse with my bulge abi eggplant or whatever people call it this days, I sat down on the 3 sitter in the palour with the bowl on my lap and started scooping, you know how people can be when they have the whole house to themself for a while na, I was just drinking and drinking and skimming through my result, small time I change posture, I lie down on my stomach put result and golden morn bowl for floor, I thought this was more convenient, what I didnot know was that sleep doing striptease for me already.......time would be around 4.30pm now.......I dinor know what happened next but sleep came and took me away.
I sha know next thing I was hearing someone whispering my name, "mohammed....Mohammed wake up" I sat up eyes still closed and brain still booting (if not I should have realized that mum gave me the house keys so if anybody would be inside now I would be the one to goan open the door) hmm naso I open eyes o, chai *bites finger* children of Adam do you know what I saw..... I saw my mum kneeling beside me looking relieved but also confused, but that wasn't the worst my dear readers, inside that our small parlour was a representative from every building in our compound, even some from the immediate building next to us. This time around I think my brain have boot reach 85 percent so I glanced at the wall clock and saw 8:27pm, i can never forget those 3 numbers, that was when I realized what happened, I slept for 4 good hours and mum must have knocked since 6.30pm soteh they had to break down our door, Kai even this girls I like forming for, all of them were there and me I was just there playing mute and wearing nothing but a god damned tight! Ohboy see eff up o, the most painful part was everybody were taking turns to play sherlock holmes, make hilarious assumptions on why I slept so long, coman hear stupid assumptions "maybe somtin dey the golden more wey e dey shak, see e nor even finish am"...." Did anyone else come inside?"....."I sure say na pesin off cloth comot for im body".....someone even joked with "make Una check in yansh wellwell o" wouldn't know what that meant then, but ehn we later watched Spartacus abi, sha that was how they were almost concluding that I have been "deflowered" through the backyard in my sleep or drugged after lmao, I had to narrate what I know with tearful eyes telling them everything I did as I got home, some were still finding it hard to agree saying "im no fit remember wet in happen na the drug dey cause am" tho there were some sensible people there who knew well to say "he was just stressed" my mumsi sha pushed all of them outside before they say too much rubbish, what pain me pass was all the neighbors daughters were not trooping in out of sympathy, one was going back to call others to coman see somebody's eggplant, Kai if I could read facial expressions I would say the way they were staring had a hint of "mtcheew and you go dey form".
Around 9 sha all of them have gone , that's when mumsy too naw para small, shouting "embarrassment embarrassment" I cried o, but it still didn't stop her from cooking dinner, at least I wasn't adopted, when I went to bed that night sleep didn't come quick obviously, sleep was like those guys that sleep with you and leave and you just wait for them to call you back, so I cried myself to sleep around 1.
Good thing was we relocated to our own new house about a year later which was after I graduated and everybody frequently came for lessons even girls, atleast they had a reason to miss me in the end,
but till today layries and gerumen I don't sleep in the afternoon.

this my story won SDK's in house gist once!

lalasticlala let thy will be done.