How do you cope when things are really going well for you but your friends are still in the same spot. You can't say anything without them not referring to your prosperity. You try offering assistance and it seems like you are not doing enough. For me it is hard because at times I try to share my testimony and it seems like I am bragging. We have been through a lot together, these are the people we were with me when I had nothing and now that everything is fine I expect things to be same as they were with me helping but no it is not. How do I assist without them feeling bad about their situation.

What do you mean by "same spot" ? If it means that they're jobless, definitely with time they too will have a job. But it's a different thing when all they do is sit down and idle away without making efforts about changing thier present state. There's more or less you can do, if you give them today, are you going to continue giving them. I'm not saying you shouldn't help in a little way but you can't change thier present status permanently. Do the best you can by encouraging them to try their hands on different things.upgrading themselves in different skills.

You too should limit the times you spend with them. So it doesn't look like you're coming to show off often. Mingle with people of same status. It's not pride, its just "common sense".

We all have such friends.

Please do your best to assist them,and please never look down on them,or write them off..

Life is phases,it can be anybody's turn tomorrow.

sophy09:
How do you cope when things are really going well for you but your friends are still in the same spot. You can't say anything without them not referring to your prosperity. You try offering assistance and it seems like you are not doing enough. For me it is hard because at times I try to share my testimony and it seems like I am bragging. We have been through a lot together, these are the people we were with me when I had nothing and now that everything is fine I expect things to be same as they were with me helping but no it is not. How do I assist without them feeling bad about their situation.

You have a nice heart. That's something rare these days.

I think the first thing you should do is to stop sharing your testimonies often with them.
Encourage them to do more with their lives. Encourage them to develop themselves, learn new skills and get something going.
It's normal to feel bad when your friends aren't doing well but it's also important you note that, you can only do what you can do. They might say it's not enough but all you can do is all you can do. Encourage them to do something with the little you can do.

Deejavuu:
What do you mean by "same spot" ? If it means that they're jobless, definitely with time they too will have a job. But it's a different thing when all they do is sit down and idle away without making efforts about changing thier present state. There's more or less you can do, if you give them today, are you going to continue giving them. I'm not saying you shouldn't help in a little way but you can't change thier present status permanently. Do the best you can by encouraging them to try their hands on different things.upgrading themselves in different skills.

You too should limit the times you spend with them. So it doesn't look like you're coming to show off often. Mingle with people of same status. It's not pride, its just "common sense".

Every one that has a friend got a common language they understand very well between them. It is a language of love, do not let that language change because of your status.

Example I have a very close friend way back at uni. We have not spoken for years due to the fact that we lost contact. but when he got my contact through a friend, I was really happy. But as I was speaking to him, his phone keep messing Up. That was when the dialogue of love began.

Me: why is the line breaking up

him: it was my phone, the line is fine

me: what kind of phone are u using?

him; Blackberry Bold

Me: which kind mumu phone be dat, why don't you get something decent
.
him: shut up there who told you that I don't use something decent.

Me: Idiot!!! If you are using something decent why will it have to disconnect three times now? do you need a new phone then? how much is
Samsung galaxy 5 in Nigeria because that is what I use here.

Him: O'boy I don't know ooo I don't use Samsung. but that will be niceooo since you disappeared no one knew where you went to. I
remembered when u used to cook only fish in uni. No meat if someone ask, you will say it was your choice, that you have mapped out
your scale of preferences and meat no dey there.

Me: LOL...quite there. who told you I have not been cooking with meat.....? Abi u know no say I be AJ right from birth.....?

Him: SHUT UP there. it was because fish was cheap and all the sellers knew you. Fish with rice, fish with stew, fish with everything. Since you
did not die of Fish in that school, there will be no scientific prove that fish can kill.

Me: You still dey crazy as usual. you can never change anyways let me know how much it cost because it will be easy sending money instead
of buying it and sending to Nigeria. I will talk to u soon bro.

That was language of love. OP use it to help if you want to. they will not feel bad. They will understand you.

That is the thing with my friends. Whenever I try encouraging them, their reply is always, "is it because small change don enter your pocket" or they change pocket to politics or something trivial. Whenever we attend a classmate wedding or party it is as if I am dressing to oppress them and they start to make side comments. I love my friends and they were never like that. We have been through a lot together like each of us pitching in to have supper. What is mine is theirs vice versa but now it seems like I am all on mine own. I am trying so hard for them to get jobs as well as but it seems they have given up.

do your best to assist them but remember at some point you all have to go your own ways.

Sophy09,

you don't cope when things are working out for you, you enjoy it.
And your friends' feelings are none of your business. They have to figure out how to make things work out for them.
See it this way, your success is an inspiration, even though it makes them feel uncomfortable because it shows them the place where they want to be in relation to where they are. Just enjoy your success and stop finding excuses for why you shouldn't.

I totally get what you are going through.....Just try to stay away from them for somewhile till they rediscover themselves and the joy of friendship you guys once had.

yes, nothing displaces friendship like when interests are no longer in common.

it's part of gaining experiences though.

I use to have a friend in my Uni days, we were in final year so she was about getting married I was in charge of the usual 'ore iyawo' cloth then all of my friends were saying we will pick the latest lace and all then my friend called me aside and said pick a cheap ankara material when you go the market. I asked why and she said I have other friends outside of this school fingers are not equal

I have few friends though and none of them is in the same spot, we are all moving though some at a slower pace than me but they are still my friends cos over the years they have proved to be true.
I think that's what you should look at Op, what influence do they have on you then do some weeding.