bukatyne:


Bros,

As you are entering 2016, you should be reducing your flaws and not add lying to them.

Pull out a post of mine where I ever said a 'shitty' marriage (whatever that means) is a ground for divorce.

And get over the fact that you are not a sole authority on people's lives/opinions.

Quote me when you find the post

And don't waste my time with one quoted out of context.

https://www.nairaland.com/2707664/divorce-lawyers-d-house-pls/9#39654978


TV

Samocholi you should never judge a person based on what you have heard about them, you need firsthand experience. Your marriage is made by the 2 of you and no one else.

Marriage is something that shouldn't be taken lightly before you enter into such a commitment you need to get to know the person well. Get to know about important things that may have happened in the past that may affect the future.


In your case this doesn't sound like a wife but rather an evil spirit. I would advice you leave the house or send her back to her parents house so you guys can think things clearly to see what your really want out of life. Its best you guys stay away from each other for sometime because being in the same place is becoming toxic. If you decide to divorce for the sake of your wellbeing so be it.

TV01:


https://www.nairaland.com/2707664/divorce-lawyers-d-house-pls/9#39654978


TV

bukatyne:
@TV01:

To have 'passion' for less divorces is not enough; men and women need to be trained on how to make their marriages work.

The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

As a norm, people do not marry to divorce in future. They marry to build a life together irrespective of whether old age/pregnancy/young age/loneliness/companionship/money/whatever reason.

Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.

Let us quote the context too.

TV01:


https://www.nairaland.com/2707664/divorce-lawyers-d-house-pls/9#39654978


TV

OK I used the word shitty in context of a specific thread

And the message of that post is that women should leave shitty marriages?

I knew you wouldn't disappoint.

Mindfulness:




Let us quote the context too.

You deserve a hug

TV would never disappoint.

I can't even read all this. Why did I even bother in the first place
Just read the beginning and the end.
Maybe I'll do the rest later.

So bukatyne's words are mine right? Issorait.


Edited.
Dropped what?

TV01:

Your co-campaigner Bukatyne, considers a shitty marriage" as grounds for divorce, and it's the logical conclusion to the thinking of your cohort.


And again, not all abuse is violent, life-threatening, or grounds for divorce. And whatever the situation - even this one - efforts should be made to restore the union first. Your abuse = divorce mantra is plain wrong and irresponsible - wrongly irresponsible


Histrionics. A violent union,may not be life-threatening. And in any event, the root of the violence can be considered and possibly resolved, before the rush to divorce.


Like I said, you are a campaigner, not a thought leader. If his life is in danger, he can remove himself from the situation, and make initial efforts from a distance. Going straight to divorce is not the key or even the safest response .


I read the OP, what has he been doing since? And yes, he should continue until he has satisfied himself all efforts have been exhausted, not head straight to divorce. Further, he should not have entered the union with the requisite understanding, preparation and due diligence, which he clearly did not.


You belong to the cohort of divorce campaigners, na lie


You are patently "not sorry". Per my previous post, I typically advise where an issue is presented, not where divorce is demanded. I usually address men, and I always advice going the extra mile to restore the union. I posted the link clearly demonstrating this.

If you can fond a link where I have acted as you have alleged, I will deactivate .


At least I defend, expound and champion it. Feel free to grow your passion for "divorce in an instant" .


You are the one stressing yourself, looking for enemies of divorce


Thank you and thank you. Likewise. So, have you dropped yet?


TV

Mindfulness:

Let us quote the context too.

And how was the context not quoted? I posted the whole link for people to read, not an excerpt.

bukatyne:

OK I used the word shitty in context of a specific thread
And the message of that post is that women should leave shitty marriages?
I knew you wouldn't disappoint.

Well Kimoni called you a serpent. And you were soooo hoping I would disappoint in a sense - 2 seconds .

Your implication is patently clear;

1. People - especially women - should not be made to stay in shitty marriages.
2. You did not actually define "shitty", hence it becomes subjective and self-defined
3. You were accusing me of doing just that - advising women stay in shitty marriages; so by implication, your meaning is clear.
4. You could not find, nor present any evidence of my doing so when challenged.

Or would you or your co-campaigners like to advise what you meant - in context Comprehension is the first flaw you should tackle.


TV

cococandy:
I can't even read all this. Why did I even bother in the first place
Just read the beginning and the end.
Maybe I'll do the rest later.

So bukatyne's words are mine right? Issorait.


Edited.
Dropped what?

You are co-campaingers for divorce, along with several others. Between you, you have inter-alia campainged to 1. have the stigma removed from divorce, 2. diminish the sanctity of marriage and, 3. even normalise divorce as a good thing.

I thought you had a bun in your oven


TV

TV01:

You are co-campaingers for divorce, along with several others. Between you, you have inter-alia campainged to 1. have the stigma removed from divorce, 2. diminish the sanctity of marriage and, 3. even normalise divorce as a good thing.

I thought you had a bun in your oven


TV

You're one weird fellow.
So protecting the sanctity of marriage includes advocating those who find themselves in awful marriages die in it just to keep appearances?
I don't know about you but to me, that is actually what diminishes the sanctity of the whole institution and what it truly stands for.
A union. Not a bondage.

No I've not delivered my baby.
Not yet time.
Thanks for asking.

cococandy:

You're one weird fellow.
So protecting the sanctity of marriage includes advocating those who find themselves in awful marriages die in it just to keep appearances?
I don't know about you but to me, that is actually what diminishes the sanctity of the whole institution and what it truly stands for.
A union. Not a bondage.

No I've not delivered my baby.
Not yet time.
Thanks for asking.

An awful (or shitty) marriage does not mean death ensues, or that divorce is the best option.

If championing strong, healthy marriages is weird, no problem.

Godspeed.


TV

TV01:

And how was the context not quoted? I posted the whole link for people to read, not an excerpt.


Well Kimoni called you a serpent. And you were soooo hoping I would disappoint in a sense - 2 seconds .

Your implication is patently clear;

1. People - especially women - should not be made to stay in shitty marriages.
2. You did not actually define "shitty", hence it becomes subjective and self-defined
3. You were accusing me of doing just that - advising women stay in shitty marriages; so by implication, your meaning is clear.
4. You could not find, nor present any evidence of my doing so when challenged.

Or would you or your co-campaigners like to advise what you meant - in context Comprehension is the first flaw you should tackle.


TV

I just had to smile at this post.

You should be the one to tackle your comprehension issues.

It is pointless going back and forth you.

I wish you happiness in 2016; you need it.

cococandy:
I can't even read all this. Why did I even bother in the first place
Just read the beginning and the end.
Maybe I'll do the rest later.

So bukatyne's words are mine right? Issorait.


Edited.
Dropped what?

If it was my actual words sef, it wouldn't be so bad.

bukatyne:


I just had to smile at this post.

You should be the one to tackle your comprehension issues.

It is pointless going back and forth you.

I wish you happiness in 2016; you need it.

Comprehension can be worked on - but your single digit IQ will always present problems; you are as thick as two short planks

bukatyne:
And the message of that post is that women should leave shitty marriages?

If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for . Beyond thick sef.


TV

TV01:

An awful (or shitty) marriage does not mean death ensues, or that divorce is the best option.

If championing strong, healthy marriages is weird, no problem.

Godspeed.


TV

Maybe you intend to but You're actually not.
It's funny you see it that way and see those who feel DV has no place in anything that calls itself marriage as the opposite.
You're championing enduring avoidable suffering and pain in the name of staying married.


I'm for strong healthy marriages. (Which is one where there's no abuse) Not ones bursting at the seams with horror stories but patched up and managed to avoid the word divorce.

TV01:

And how was the context not quoted? I posted the whole link for people to read, not an excerpt.

Let me quote it again because it beautifully shows how you love to take statements out of context.

bukatyne:
@TV01:

To have 'passion' for less divorces is not enough; men and women need to be trained on how to make their marriages work.

The emphasis on men because women have been trained for so long unfortunately, a tree cannot make a forest.

Men believing it is OK to cheat or throw bullshyte because they paid bride price or did 3 wedding ceremonies or are superior to women is unfortunately NOT an attitude that will help build strong marriages.

As a norm, people do not marry to divorce in future. They marry to build a life together irrespective of whether old age/pregnancy/young age/loneliness/companionship/money/whatever reason.

Teaching people epecially women to stay in shitty marriages so stem the divorce/seperation rate is futile.

So where exactly did she say HERE that "she considers a shitty marriage as grounds for divorce"?

Jesus said, i present to u life and death but, choose life that ye may live. Bro i present to u peace and calamity but , choose peace that ye may have rest of mind. Gbam!!!!!

cococandy:
Maybe you intend to but You're actually not.
It's funny you see it that way and see those who feel DV has no place in anything that calls itself marriage as the opposite.
You're championing enduring avoidable suffering and pain in the name of staying married.

Where have I ever stated that people should endure suffering and pain And a focus on DV without the proper context is the way to strong and healthy marriages

On the contrary, you and your cohort prescribe divorce for anything self-defined as "shitty or awful". And not only that, but you
1. Never correctly contextualise domestic relationships vis-a-viz marriage
2. Give any heed to types and degrees of abuse
3. Or the fact that it cuts both ways
4. And possibly worse of all, never give any pause for thought, or consideration to the importance of the foundations of marriage.

cococandy:
I'm for strong healthy marriages. (Which is one where there's no abuse) Not ones bursting at the seams with horror stories but patched up and managed to avoid the word divorce.

As above, you are not. Not least because, abuse to a degree - even if only for a period - characterises many marriages, but that does not mean that it is serious or horrendous, or that divorce is the panacea. And even a zero-tolerance approach to abuse is not best served by a blanket divorce policy.

You are a divorce proponent, and have been challenged repeatedly for raising it even when the situation does not warrant it. And your blinkered and un-nuanced focus on violence and death in order to valorise divorce is very damaging to healthy families.


TV

Mindfulness:
So where exactly did she say HERE that "she considers a shitty marriage as grounds for divorce"?

You are both as thick as each other. I asked this already;

TV01:
If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for . Beyond thick sef.

So, ask you friend to answer that, as well as this; "Should women stay in shitty marriages?"


TV

TV01:

Comprehension can be worked on - but your single digit IQ will always present problems; you are as thick as two short planks


If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for . Beyond thick sef.


TV

Thank you for telling us you have comprehension problems, single digit IQ and very thick. It would help in future interactions.

Oya calm your nerves, get used to the fact your opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and prepare for 2016.

Compliments of the season.

I just can't deal.

Of course I've been challenged by folks like you who like to read A and pretend that you saw B.

If you have tangible evidence that I prescribed divorce as a solution except in any case that involves abuse (precisely physical abuse), then kindly tender evidence or go back to mischievously misinterpreting what I say just to score cheap points.

TV01:

Where have I ever stated that people should endure suffering and pain And a focus on DV without the proper context is the way to strong and healthy marriages

On the contrary, you and your cohort prescribe divorce for anything self-defined as "shitty or awful". And not only that, but you
1. Never correctly contextualise domestic relationships vis-a-viz marriage
2. Give any heed to types and degrees of abuse
3. Or the fact that it cuts both ways
4. And possibly worse of all, never give any pause for thought, or consideration to the importance of the foundations of marriage.


As above, you are not. Not least because, abuse to a degree - even if only for a period - characterises many marriages, but that does not mean that it is serious or horrendous, or that divorce is the panacea. And even a zero-tolerance approach to abuse is not best served by a blanket divorce policy.

You are a divorce proponent, and have been challenged repeatedly for raising it even when the situation does not warrant it. And your blinkered and un-nuanced focus on violence and death in order to valorise divorce is very damaging to healthy families.


TV

[quote author=expozey post=41367151][/quote]thanks.

Bros. Mail me. friokwuyo@gmail.com
Let's talk. I am in abuja. Cannot advice u here o. Lets see one on one

bukatyne:


Thank you for telling us you have comprehension problems, single digit IQ and very thick. It would help in future interactions.

Oya calm your nerves, get used to the fact your opinion doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things and prepare for 2016.

Compliments of the season.

As usual, trying to hide behind snarky behaviour . The refuge of the unredeemable thicko !

Answer the questions. Call your cohort to help. Afterall Mindfulness likes to ride to the rescue like a marine - but usually ends up looking like a kwashiorkwor ridden child soldier Oya, Mindfulness, wear your gun

1. If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for?
2. Should women stay in shitty marriages?
3. And finally, if you didn't mean what I claim you meant, what exactly where you saying?

Before 2016 please lest you miss your blessing


TV

cococandy:
I just can't deal.

Of course I've been challenged by folks like you who like to read A and pretend that you saw B.

If you have tangible evidence that I prescribed divorce as a solution except in any case that involves abuse (precisely physical abuse), then kindly tender evidence or go back to mischievously misinterpreting what I say just to score cheap points.

How can you deal . The plain fact of the matter is that you are a divorce advocate. It's part of your wider worldview, and not surprising in any way.

Moreover, and as much as I've repeated this a number of times, incidences of physical abuse do not in all cases warrant divorce. Divorce will not necessarily be the best or preferred outcome - even for the parties involved.

Your blanket policy is wrong-headed and damaging to couples, families and wider society. Further, trying to sell your efforts to normalise divorce as you championing strong marriages, is a disingenuous as it gets.

Anyway, here’s one you requested; read your own posts on this thread ; https://www.nairaland.com/2088202/he-changed-almost-completely

And my gently pointing it out to you, as had 5minsmadness & others – repeatedly; https://www.nairaland.com/2088202/he-changed-almost-completely/6#29755931

Now, please show me evidence of my ever doing what you accuse me of below;

cococandy:
You're championing enduring avoidable suffering and pain in the name of staying married.

TV

TV01:

As usual, trying to hide behind snarky behaviour . The refuge of the unredeemable thicko !

Answer the questions. Call your cohort to help. Afterall Mindfulness likes to ride to the rescue like a marine - but usually ends up looking like a kwashiorkwor ridden child soldier Oya, Mindfulness, wear your gun

1. If the message is not that women should leave shitty marriages, what were you taking me to task for?
2. Should women stay in shitty marriages?
3. And finally, if you didn't mean what I claim you meant, what exactly where you saying?

Before 2016 please lest you miss your blessing


TV

I am a lover not a fighter.

Mindfulness:


I am a lover not a fighter.

Shift jor, empty barrel. Go and muster your cohort and come and answer the questions. But of course, you can't, non of you can. If na love 0, weda na fight, you lose - as always !


TV

TV01:

Shift jor, empty barrel. Go and muster your cohort and come and answer the questions. But of course, you can't, non of you can. If na love 0, weda na fight, you lose - as always !


TV

You won, you alway win.

Do you feel better now?

Mindfulness:


You won, you alway win.

Do you feel better now?

Be quiet. When you think you are on the ascendency, you form fighter. When you get your behind handed to you - gift wrapped for Christmas - you start to claim lover.

Where is the she-beast Bukatyne, let her come and answer the questions, or clearly state what she meant.

Oshi koshi gbo-gbo - stuffed like turkeys .


TV

Nna OP where are you?
I hope the stone did not miss the car "mirrooww" and nack ya head?

TV01:

Be quiet. When you think you are on the ascendency, you form fighter. When you get you behind handed to you - gift wrapped for christmas - you start to claim lover.

Where is the she-beast Bukatyne, let her come and answer the questions, or clearly state what she meant.

Oshi koshi gbo-gbo - stuffed like turkeys .


TV

TV01 at his best!

He will swiftly sacrifice and betray his coherent belief system - a religion that has unconditional love, even for one's enemies, at its core in order to give vent to his massive resentment because of some strangers - he only met online - who don't even care whether he is dead or alive.

Dear TV01, I don't mind, not even all the name-calling, as long as it gives you some sense of relief. I want everyone to feel happy. You will get there slowly and gradually.

Mindfulness:
TV01 at his best!

Au contraire - my best is simply not required to deal with you and your cohort. If you saw my best, your blasphemy would become idolatory. My worst sef is too good !

Mindfulness:
He will swiftly sacrifice and betray his coherent belief system - a religion that has unconditional love, even for one's enemies, at its core in order to give vent to his massive resentment because of some strangers - he only met online - who don't even care whether he is dead or alive.

The resentment is all yours - for lacking anything that can be rightly labelled a faith, religion or belief system. Only feelings - "butterfly religion", the gospel of "catch a feeling" !

And unconditional love - not that you have a clue what true love actually is - does not mean agreeing with, or celebrating everything anyone choses to do or say. Catch up and quit dulling the convo with your scanty knowledge of Christianity and the Bible .

Mindfulness:
Dear TV01, I don't mind, not even all the name-calling, as long as it gives you some sense of relief. I want everyone to feel happy. You will get there slowly and gradually.

Believe me, I derive great joy - at little cost - from "mindlessly" bashing you and your cohort - and although it's tantamount to criminal abuse, I can't get charged with DV when I do it, as it's consensual ! Perfick!


TV

She has taken everything from him already His life may be taken too. Spell.