You better run for your life

samocholi:

Greetings to u all,please I need a candid advise because am fed up and confused at same time.It all started in 2011 when I met my wife through my collegue in the bank. I used to work in operations and hardly have time to truly search for a wife that is what I thought back then.so I had this collegue of mind who appears responsible and is also a church worker in a responsible church,not all these money making churchs.so I confided in him , so one day he came to me that he has this lady where he normally goes to worship atimes that he will take me to meet her ,that she is God fearing ,a church worker and her father is a pastor in one of the northern states,which he did and introduced us and gradually we started dating,


I even took her to see my parent.to their amazement she woke up around 4am and swept and cleaned the house before we could even wake up for morning prayers.when my Dad saw this he was really please and was like this truly is wife material.but my Mum was like don’t conclude oh as per girls of nowadays that we should keep praying.at first I wanted us to do our traditional marriage in April 2012 and after that white wedding but she started indirectly pressuring me that we should do trad in August and white in November,2011.i thot about it,and with my naïve mind said to myself that since she seems nice and am ready to marry.


I agreed and we got married in 2011.we did both court and church marriage.immediatly we came back from honey moon my life has been one hell of a life or another.it began when my former collegue in the bank sent her sister to bring her cv to me incase we are recruiting so that I can submit for her.so the lady called later to thank me for the assistance and my wife was with me in the sitting room.it was around 7-8pm.after the call my wife started quarreling,that who is that lady calling me that am cheating on her,she went inside the room and brought out our wedding cert.that she will tear it and that we should go our separate ways.i became shocked ,I then told her that she can take the lady’s number or I can call the lady in her presence.that I don’t even know the lady. I did not even have the lady number in my phone,the lady collected my number to follow up and that is all.



I left her with my phones and entered the room.this was happening barely a month and a half after our wedding.as the days go by she started bringing different quarrels and problem.after like a year two month into the marriage,one faithful Friday night after I came back from work and I was fast asleep she woke me up around 11pm that we should talk.and I told her that if we can leave it till morning knowing fully well that the next day was satuday unless if the matter is btw life and death then I can wait.she said it is not btw life and death and was insisting that we talk before I knew it she brought out a knife and wanted to stab me so I manage to collect the knife and threw it into the wordrobe.


By then the sleep in my eyes cleared immediately and I was like what is the matter what is wrong or what wrong have I done to her,my people up till tofday she has not given me an answer.so she stood there speechless so I assume all is well then as I was going tom bed she took one of her high heel and struck me behind my head I fell down and went blank.after a while I woke up and saw her looking at me.so I got up and entered my car with blood all over me to her uncle’s house and showed them and told them what happened.before I continue we live in Abj,so the uncle called her parent and her mum came to Abj the next day.before then I had written and taken my divorce letter to the pastor that am not doing again.


After that the pastor and her people intervened and talked to her. I went to that my colleague that introduced her to me that what does he know about her that I may not know so he said she told him in confidence that she was in cult in the university and that her boyfriend then was the capon.she also told him that the boy friend was shot in school then and died in her arms.when I confronted her she down played everything and wanted to pick a quarrel,so that one died down.


Before I continue,am a banker ,and my wife has a boutique that she sells men wears in Abj. She hardly laughs but b4 we got married she was always laughing.i havs severally asked her what the matter is but she will say it is nothing. Before now I did not know that my wife is a runs girl,after our baby’s birth in Dec 2012 my wife went and did family planning without my consent,it was in the evening when the stuf started disturbing her that I got to know. In August last year that is 2014,I was watching news when she came back by 9:30pm,she started making it a habit of coming late in 2014 and that has caused serious quarrel btw us. So when she came in she droped her phone on the center table and went inside to take her shower.as I was watching the television I now said let me go through her gallery because she likes taking pictures.after that I now checked her messages.i was shocked what I saw.

She sent a text to a married man,saying that she cursed him with the sperm he pured inside her and the man said it was mutual that she is the one came to his house to collect money for the shoes and shirts he bought,he also said he will curse her with his children’s life that she is not the only one that has a child and insisted that it was mutual.at that point my hands started shaking and before I know I she jumped out of the bathroom with soap on her body to take her phone.immediatly she came to the sitting room and saw me with her phone she frozed for like 15seconds not knowing what to say after that I asked her who is the man and she said that I was one of her friends from owerri that used her phone to chat the man.

when I checked the chat history it was not just one day chat it spans four days becos the chat was very lengthy. So I was pissed off, I reported the issue to the pastor where we got married and he down play it that she cannot do such a thing..
My wife has quarreled with all my neighbours in my compound of 8 flat,she has also quarreled with our security guards at the gate to the extent that they have refused to wash her car.On 25 of dec 2014 after returning from the church my wife spreed her cloth under the sun and my neighbour’s puppy came and played with the cloth and tore part of it.the next day she went to tell then but she did not grt a good response so she went behind and boiled hot water and pured on the puppy. My neighbor’s wife went and call police for her the next day being Sunday.but their aim is to keep her in cell till Monday to teach her a lesson.unknown to them my uncle is a top police officer so I called him and we were able to bail her putting Monday date.since then small thing my wife will start saying things that she is suspecting me , that am having am affair.i now told her how,she now said a man that does not drink alcohol and does not smoke will surely womanise.i then asure her that I have done nothing of such.and truly since I married her four years ago I have never looked at any woman aside her.

To cut a long stry short,February this year as usual during valentine I to her to a shop and asked her to pick whatever she wants.then she picked cloths and shoes worth 70k and I paid. After that February ending I usually give her 50k for upkeep so tha day I had keep the 50k but there was a plumbing problem that I had to take 5k out of it to solve so I gave her 45k promising to bring the balance home or I credit her,and that faithful morning we were having a meeting in which a top official is coming from head office and my head of operations was nor around so I was sitting in for her.

so I asked my wife to help me take our daughter to sch that day as I have to rush to the office b4 time. After giving my wife the 45k she threw it on the floor that it is not enough and started insulting me that what kind of useless job is that ,unknown to me she had gone and locked the entrance door and taken the key,as I was about to go out I discovered that the door was lock,so I called her aunte to talk to her,as she was on the phone with the aunt I went through the back door. As I was about to drive out I saw my wife rushing to close the gate with only pant and singlet,I mean pant and singlet not bump hort or rapper.i was surprise,but before she could close the gate I had already passed she now took a big stone and stared running after the car.
she threw the stone at my suv ,it sounded like a bomb very loud.at first I did not know what happened untill I saw her running towards the car so I stoped,she now came held my side mirrow and started breaking it so I had to drive off. I was devasted and could not make it to work,so I called someone in the office that I won’st be able to make it to the office that am having some issues at home.


She went back to the house and called my Dad that if I come back she will kill me.so my Dad called me and I explained to him immediately what happened. so he said I should not go back home that day, I went and slept in a hotel In town .so the next day her mum came and I went home.Now it is not that am afraid of her but because I respect women and will not want to beat ofr fight her,I am far biger and taller than her if I decide to cough she will vanish so is not that am afraid of her am only respecting the marriage institution. When I got home the second day to resume work the third day I discovered that she had tore all my cloths,my shirt both office and casuals,all my suit including my wedding suit,.so I had nothing to wear the next day.so I missed work wednesdy,Thursday and Friday,during all these happening I have been in touch with my office and told them am having some family issues and could not make it to work.



I resumed the next Monday to work and everything seem to be going well, then on Tuesday I got a sack letter from human resources of the bank.unkonwn to me. the new manager that was posted to my branch got a querry for myself and the head of operations not being around for the initial meeting. so he was angry and he wrote to the bank’s human resources and when they checked that I was not logged on for the three days I was sacked,all because of my wife.most times she sends abusive texts messages to me while in the office.For instance if am attending to customers and she is calling and I did not pick on time she will now send a nasty text that I delibertly don”t want to pick her calls.i have even told her to come and see how we work in my office.so since march am yet to get any serious thing to do.
I January I had 2.5m I paid our rent 1m and part pay for a land 1m and the remaining 500k lasted us from march till june.as usual with banks I was not paid anything.so when my savings finished in june the major financial burden fell on her,with little coming from me now.Since then my wife has made my life a living hell with all sorts of insult. For example in November,there was nothing in the house so she went to southern fries and bought rice and chicken for herself,then bought a watery oha soup with out meat that I should make garri and eat with it.it was when I wanted to microwave it that I discovered that it was watery and has no meat.i did not say anything.


Most times I stay back at home unless I have an appointment or an interview just not to spend unnecessary .so I was checking one of the cupboard in our room and I saw somethings she got from a native doctor,they include a bottle of concosion with the label witches and wizards destroying oil,the second one was two of her bathing soap with burnt candle on it when I looked at the soap closely I saw small cross buried inside,the third thing I saw was the complimentary card of the native doctor.All these things I just mentioned are real and I have their pictures that I snapped.i picked them and went to her uncle’S place to show him and he was mad,he immediately called her parent to come to Abj immediately and I called my parent to come becos I told them I don’t want the marriage again. Both parties came and the meeting lasted from 5pm to 12 mid nite and continued again the next day.

she could not defend her sellf and I said am not doing again and everyone started beging that I should give her one more chance.and it seems the issues was resolved.i started my investigation and discovered that unknown to me my wife is a runs girl even b4 I married her and after marriage she continued .that is why she went and did family planning without my knowledge so that she can be sleeping with me with out condom.and this days she dresses sugestivly.i have reported to the pastor ,her parent about her dressing but she has not changed.presently she is fighting with a lady in her former church the lady is a leader in the church.she said the lady has been attacking her in the dream and anytime they lady sees her the lady calls her prostitute.She told me that the lady is sleeping with her pastor.My wife has bad mouth and insult at every provocation,she hadly laughs always moody but when some kind of men call her she will be laughing as if tomorrow no dey.

Today being Christmas as we were preparing to go to church,she was noW feeding our daughter who just turned 3 last week.becos the baby was being slow to eat she started shouting that if the baby does not eat quikly that she will injure her.when I heard that I came and told her that such statement to a baby is not good,I have cautioned her severally not to be telling the baby that she will injure her.because there was a day I was playing with our baby and the baby was telling me that she will injure me.so becos of that I cautioned her.that was all,instead of her to take corrections she started insulting me.that am useless,that the whole burden is on her that she regrets marrying me.that she will surprise me one of these days.


My dear brothers and sisters in the house especially the married ones I frankly need ur candid advise as I am tired of her ,her bad and unrepentant character and her evil ways but am only looking at the term Christian marriage in terms of divorce as I ultimately want to make heaven just as every one.

Thank u for taking ur time to go through my ordeal.

I swear to God! I watch this movie and mercy Johnson act as the wife.

When I visited someone and this was the movie we are watching!

So you take your bloody time to write a movie script and you need advice on this RUBBISH


Why not tell us when the person that SACK you later came to beg you and you got your job back and your wife was later scam with drug and she was in prison but you later bail her due to one of your old friend you know and he is a police officer.



Stupidity

Kassidy4luv:
Fear sisters you see in churches............. Na husband dem dey find.

I am telling you!

End the marriage now and kick damn ass out. She's a slut and a pretender. Wonder why you kept her this long

The irony of the whole saga is that if she had not pretended to be a good born again sister or woken up at 04.00am to clean your parents house i bet you would all have condemed her to be unsuitable and not a wife material. In choosing a life partner, which is one of the most crucial decisions we have to make in life, we tend to be go for very superficial qualities and then we are suprised at the consequences that inevitabley follows. You married a total stranger, someone you don't know just because she is a church goer and wakes up to clean at 04.00am. You and your family forgot that the devil himself was the first to quote bible verses to Jesus in the wilderness. Thanks for sharing your story ias it s applicable to everyone of us. Please when you leave that is if, at this rate you dont end up 6 feet under, please make sure you take yourdaughter with you because that child is at risk of serious ham in her care.

op you made a very Big Mistake not to have courted her before marriage.


How could you make such Mistake? In this Modern Age? You get married to a lady based on the recommendation of a friend? That's ridiculous!

And to make things worst, you did COURT MARRIAGE?

I lack what to say because the lady has gone beyond boundaries in her evil deed and since you've endured all these while, just face it as U've already made a Mistake and you know your position as a christian regarding divorce.


Also, the truth is: YOU GOT MARRIED TO ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE AND NOT YOURS.

5yrs relationship is better than 1month Broken Marriage.

Some people lng to marry, while some wish to walk out. My dear u both 're Nt meant for eachoda leave her for sm tym go to some where pray dat God either change her for good or force her to leave without harming u cos from ur write up of true she is evil. Jesus.

it's so sad brother....but the truth has to b told. Christianity or no christianity,what u av is no longer a union n u seems not to value ur own life cos if u do,I believe u would av walked outta that marriage long time ago. If u were d 1 abusing her,am sure she wld av left u since....Bros find ur square root,go n strt a new life.....all d best.

ahnie:
I have learnt not to jump tu hasty conclusions on nairaland,and tu be one sided....oga no offence,we need tu hear your wife's own side of this unside down marriage.

Wetin you wan hear again?

Cheating ------------------------------ check (unprotected)
Runs -------------------------------- check
Physical abuse ---------------------- check
Verbal Abuse ------------------------- check
Cause of financial misfortune --------- check
No peace of mind ------------------- check
Diabolical ----------------------------- check

Phewww! "Out of the abundance of the heart, the fingers type."

I actually read all that because I was intrigued and now, I find it real hard to believe this really happened. In this age In Nigeria?
Owkk.

Op, you're married to a husband beater, a runz woman (majority of women who deal on male clothing materials do this a lot BTW), an ex-cultist with bad mouth. What else?? Oh! Diabolic. Has a professional witch- doctor.
Elenyi gidi gan

First, you were too busy to have time for yourself and felt any woman would do as a wife. Forgetting the home front is equally as important as your job. "If the head is bad, the whole body is".
And you refused to take up the responsibility of finding your wife yourself. You don't know what your colleague told her about you. Babes like that once they hear 'banker', their head no dey again. It only makes sense that she became a homely, 100% wife material just to nab 'maga'.

And your friend was so wicked! He's responsible for all your misery. If he knew she was all that back in school, why didn't he tell you? I'm not even gonna ask why he introduced you to her in the first place. She was a church girl .
Oh how they bring mockery to the body of Christ!

I'm tempted to say the church where you got wedded isn't a living church but I won't. Make God alone judge them.
But I see no reason why a clergy will encourage you to remain in an abusive marriage especially when there has been countless death threats. I mean, whatever happened to temporal separation? Is it until you die? Besides, the woman is adulterous and in Bible standards, that's what you need for a divorce.

Chaii! I just dey pity you sha.

The lil girl she brought to the world is in wrong hands cos she'll learn everything she isn't supposed to.

Neways, people make mistakes. And it could have happened to anyone. Sorry it was you. Now, no need crying over spilt milk.

Get yourself out of her sphere, get a life and get moving! You cannot fight a demon! You're only human and you are not so spiritual from the look of things.

So, go to a living church. (Now, that's after you've left that house) One that does a deep study of the Word of God. What am I even saying? Get your relationship with God back on point! Pray for His Spirit for direction. Apparently, your wife has been possessed by roaming spirits.

I know its going to be hard going back to square one, probably staying with friend or family. But then, its no better where you are.

Pray for her. Even the worst people can be changed by that.

Goodluck!
.

@ op, your wife is obviously deranged cos no sane woman will publicly run after any human being in her undies,she's obviously mad from her demons of the past.to worsen the situation she's also diabolic and adulterous. its will be for your own interest to leave the now that you are still alive, but then the lives and future of your children is at stake,I'm mother and will never talk to my child the way you said she talks, also do something about your kids as you plan to end the marriage. God help you

Get a divorce and ensure you don't listen to your pastor or parents again!!!

Pls before u divorce her in would advice you to do a DNA test on your child to determine true paternity first.

What's really striking is that u r still an inmate of that prison. Guy ur life is going down in a geometric proportion :-

Bro, if u're waiting for advice, den I believe u're either retard or a coward. U've allowed sentiments to derail ur life n dat of ur kid. U're going broke n married 2 d wrng lady n I'm sure no assets? Ds are d type of situations good bois find demselves. Evryone tells u 2 cari on, wen dey r not in ur shoes, n dey all b d 1st 2 weep uncontrollably wen u'r gone. Jst wait a little longer, so u'll get 2 watch over ur daughter frm heaven.

Had 2 control myself, am seriously pissed at u for allowing urself 2 be so trampled upon!? U remind me of d Jews during d 2nd world war.

Hmmm

Yoruba people will say obinrin toba yan ale olesekupa oko. Meaning any married woman that is doing infidelity might kill her husband. What u don't kno I that the charm u saw inside I just the bandage ur wife is using to get ur glory for herself. Think of it very well man she want to make u a fool that is why she made u loose ur job. Just divorce her and take the custody of ur daughter things will definitely come back to normal for u. U are living with olosho, fetish woman and u are allow some people to preach gospel for u. What if she had stab u with that knife or rejoice stone hit u, they will come and check u are the hospital. U are a man do what u think wil bring progress into ur life but If u remain with dt lady I bet it with u.she will still control ur life like a TV remote

I think that your wife is possessed by demons. she may be delivered if you convince her and take her to a church where such demon can be fired. Tell her to escort you to God spring church Arab road at Kubwa or Rhema. Just go to nomal fellowship and .... Or any other better church you know that can handle such matters . I just wanna say that your wife has a spiritual problem and that can be solved.

Bi-polar disorder. She is psychotic .not suitable for marriage..but i will like to hear from her.

dominique:
All I can say is WOW!
She disrespects you, she cheats on you and almost tried to kill you and you're still asking what to do Seems jazz aka black magic truely does exist

For a woman to completely overwhelm her husband to the point of calling her in-laws and threatening to kill their son. It's safe to conclude that she has a very strong back-up she's relying on. You need to keep a very far distance from such woman.

Then go for deliverance.

It's a daughter. Good Evening.

i support your advised
but that guy too play mumu join his ordeal with that woman incase of another one please learn from this.

PresVA:
I really took time to go through your post.. mehn, you're in a place worse than hell!!
You're such a calm guy!

You've to let go bro;God supports divorce on the ground of infidelity.. You can also get a separation for now..

You've a brave heart, still staying with someone that threatened to stab you. .

Believe me, when you leave that lady, you'll start progressing! Please leave fast!

samocholi:
I thank u all for ur words of encouragement.From the depth of my heart i say a big thank u to all.Stay Bless

is ur wife's name Tina?

@Op, marriage is for better for worse but if all I read here is true then you need to separate yourself and your child from that woman and kip trusting God 4 ur nxt line of action. Mind you, those pleading 4 ur wife will conduct your burial shd you die in dis woman's hands. Now dat you can still breathe n you haven't ran mad, relocate urself n ur baby far away frm her and I pray God intervenes in your situation very soon.

I cannot say anything to this. I'm sorry. It's beyond me. Just talk to God about it.

You dont need an advice, you need therapy.

RUN BROTHER RUN AS FAST AS YOUR LEGS CAN CARRY YOU

Pls read and read well infact ask mature minds to read alongside you. When you are done do what was recorded in the last scripture cited. But all I can say is your situation is highlighted in all ramifications.


The Bible’s View on Divorce and Separation
Jehovah expects those who are married to remain faithful to the marriage vow. When uniting the first man and woman in marriage, Jehovah stated: “A man . . . will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Later, Jesus Christ repeated that statement and added: “Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6) Hence, Jehovah and Jesus view marriage as a lifelong bond that ends only when one partner dies. (1 Corinthians 7:39) Since marriage is a sacred arrangement, divorce is not to be taken lightly. In fact, Jehovah hates divorces that have no Scriptural basis.—Malachi 2:15, 16.

What forms a Scriptural basis for divorce? Well, Jehovah hates adultery and sexual immorality. (Genesis 39:9; 2 Samuel 11:26, 27; Psalm 51:4) Indeed, he finds sexual immorality so despicable that he allows it as grounds for divorce. (For a discussion of what sexual immorality involves, refer to Chapter 9, paragraph 7, where sexual immorality is explained.) Jehovah grants the innocent mate the right to decide whether to remain with the guilty partner or to seek a divorce. (Matthew 19:9) Hence, if an innocent mate decides to seek a divorce, that one does not take a step that Jehovah hates. At the same time, however, the Christian congregation does not encourage anyone to seek a divorce. In fact, some circumstances may move the innocent mate to remain with the guilty one, especially if that one is genuinely repentant. In the end, though, those who have a Scriptural basis for divorce must make their own decision and accept whatever consequences it may bring.—Galatians 6:5.

In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed sexual immorality. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else be reconciled with” the mate. (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.

Willful nonsupport. A family may become destitute, lacking the basic essentials of life, because the husband fails to provide for them, although being able to do so. The Bible states: “If anyone does not provide for . . . members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5: If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. Of course, Christian elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian refuses to support his family. Refusal to care for one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.

Extreme physical abuse. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mate’s health and even life life are in danger. If the abusive spouse is a Christian, congregation elders should investigate the charges. Fits of anger and a practice of violent behavior are grounds for disfellowshipping.—Galatians 5:19-21.

Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.

In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. While spiritually mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, they cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God or the marriage arrangement if she exaggerated the seriousness of her domestic problems just to live separately from her husband, or vice versa. Jehovah is aware of any scheming behind a separation, no matter how one may try to hide it. Indeed, “all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of the one to whom we must give an account.” (Hebrews 4:13) But if an extremely dangerous situation persists, no one should criticize a Christian who, as a last resort, chooses to separate. In the final analysis, “we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.”—Romans 14:10- 12

I took d pain to read all n my conclusion is dat u hate ur life. don't claim u are married. THAT GIRL WILL SEND U TO EARLY GRAVE. its either she stabs u or kill u wit STD or something. pastor will never encourage u to divorce her but for Heaven's sake u are not married

Rooster and bull story. Op i must tell you, if this stupid story is true then u must be a big fool, an idiot, an slowpoke, u are hopeless. Nonsense. Please madam, deal with him dangerously cos he is a fool. You came here for advice, you fool. If i am the wife i will strangle you personally. U live a useless life. You are not worthy to be alive. Nonsense. Well i don't believe this nonsensical sh!t. Thunder fire you there, idiot.

There's a way out.

The spirit which the lady has is an Evil Spirit. The only way out is to seek deliverance at SCOAN with prophet TB Joshua.

This woman has dabbled into alot of evil spiritual things...as funny as it may sound, her actions are evil and she needs the help of God...

She herself does not understand what she's doing. That evil beast Satan is in control of her.
The solution now is Jesus. In as much as she is connected to you, be aware that the negative forces is what robbed you of your joy.

The happy news is that, there is Hope in Jesus...

mr man.... marriage is not a do or die affair at all.... I swear ur life is not important to u... . I can't blif ur still with dis woman u described here... ..... from all indications u are married to ursef cuz ur wife does not even want the marriage to work.... and now uve lost ur job it will get worst ohhhh


u said u want advice.... my advice is to
leave dat wicked woman cuz her plan is to kill u ohhh.......... and she will not rest til she executes her plan

just put on ur running shoes and run as fast as u can

dunno y good men end up marrying witches as wife

one of d tinz dat kills men faster is marrying a bad wife

I am married,am not a saint Buh ur story if itz true,ur in hell bro,take ur kid to ur relation u trust and leave the marriages.simple!dont even allow her to raise ur kid.