gentlegg:

Mentioning 2.5M pisses me off. People who truly could spend up to such amount on wedding alone wouldn't have mentioned it in the public like you did. Anyway good luck.

why?
the actual amount is not the issue here, real issue is the fiance's attitude towards accountability.

Dude surely ain't flaunting.

gentlegg what is ur problem - i think he put the amount to put things into context, as a woman I was goin to side with the posters fiance but after calculating 2.5mill in my head and reasling this woman is not putting one kobo - he has a point.

why would something like this piss u off. to me it looks like small bad belle, don't jump on my o!!! i'm just saying ur anger is quite vocal!

gentlegg:

Mentioning 2.5M pisses me off. People who truly could spend up to such amount on wedding alone wouldn't have mentioned it in the public like you did. Anyway good luck.

toy are so wrong

@poster

I feel so sorry for you. You have hooked yourself up with a bridezilla and a very greedy one for that matter. All the ingridents are there to show that your impending marriage is about to be doomed before it starts:

1. She isn't working

2. She has no job

3. She is already spending money faster than her hands can count

4. Your the only one footing the bill and she isnt lifting a finger neither is her extended family helping out

5.Her family is already blaming you for being slow but has no qualms in spending the money slowly.

These are the effects of marrying a woman because of the so called love you have but when reality sets in, you begin to think which came first, love or money.

You are about to be led into bondage and this chick is only interested in having a fancy wedding and being called a (MRS) to brag amongst her friends but then again lets look at post marriage within the first 6 months of this disaster your about to engage in:

1. She would still be broke and jobless and even if she has a job, the money will be extremely inadequate to do anything tangible, so you have to continue paying wife support alimony for virtually everything and you are going to be turned into a train wreck

2.Her family will continue to barge you for money to support their daughter, themselves and extended family (Hope you have a bullion van filled with cash locked up somewhere)

3. They will continue to see you as being a tight fisted wad because your prudence doesnt apply to them in their own dictionary

4. I hope you have budgeted the amount for a house or apartment, furnishing, car, maintainance, bills, and wife because only you will carry that wahala on your head and it wont stop.

5. When she gets pregnant, your money wahala will double

6. have you set aside money for clothes, cosmetics and hair for her weekly?

7. Apart from sex, what defination of the word companionship is she bringing apart from helping you hasten your road to penury?

Mr Oga! Shine your eyes and its not too late to call it off because you are marrying someone that will drive you 6 feet under within months. Your not one billionaire that can foot her bills and your marrying one very greedy woman and when she is done ripping your heart out both financially and emotionally, she can always run to one kelechi,gbenga or Musa to continue where you have stopped while your whole world turns into ruins.

Be wise and call it off! You only know the woman you want to marry in times like this and this is where you can see your future ahead of you being potrayed now before you say "I DO"

Please say "I DONT" and plan your life better till you are satisfied that you can bear the burden of these set of money grabbing vampires!

I didnt even read the part that she is using your own money to save for the future

Men! I dont know whether to even pity you again or mock you!

Where you go pick that thing from?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I am so glad that i got rid of a jezebel like this some years back and it was weeks to the marriage my eyes cleared and not i am happier for the best. The chick ended up marrying another man desperate to marry and from latest reports, the man is wishing he followed and walked my path and is seeking a divorce, . . lol. . . what a schmuck!

When you see danger, you run! Dont let anyone else convince you otherwise! Its only you that knows where it pinches! My Guy waka from the impending timebomb about to explode in your life

obnoxious - ur tooooooooooooooooooooo much - but ever thing u say is true, me i don't know o!!! how men in 2009 still marry jobless females, and why some women find pleasure in being lazy - yes it is laziness and to top it all off she is saving money

again i ask where is this money coming from that she is saving, I am saving also but i am saving MY OWN MONEY plus helping out hubby where I can. with that i have my respect with him and his people.

na wah o, the girl is smart sha, i'll give her that

gentlegg:

Mentioning 2.5M pisses me off. People who truly could spend up to such amount on wedding alone wouldn't have mentioned it in the public like you did. Anyway good luck.

Envy. Jealousy.

Grow up please . . so you can lay claims to such ammount cos ur really showing that you are a hater right now and it is very annoying!!

Pally, spending 2.5mill for your wedding without any one contributing is no joke.
you have the right to make anyone accountable for such spendings.

This is the reason why I wouldn't like to marry a lady that is Jobless.

It gives headache! By this by that for me! All the Loads on me! Its annoying!

pls let the lady do her thing.

you wan start the journey like this? me i won't allow my hubby to be gives me hassle with spending analysis lai lai.
just give me the money and rest your case

*Hauwa*:

pls let the lady do her thing.

you wan start the journey like this? me i won't allow my hubby to be gives me hassle with spending analysis lai lai.
just give me the money and rest your case

And if the role of the giver was switched, would you still have the same mentality?

*Hauwa*:

pls let the lady do her thing.

you wan start the journey like this? me i won't allow my hubby to be gives me hassle with spending analysis lai lai.
just give me the money and rest your case

Let her do her thing yes, but there has to be financial control. Someone planning to rip you off so she can make 'savings' cannot be allowed to simply 'do her thing'. Her mentality is all wrong.

Granted there must be some trust - i.e he shouldn't micromanage her, but that trust is earned. The woman sounds like an out of control spender - no rational man would let her crash his life without trying to apply brakes.

@gentlegg, why the outrage? In seeking advice from fellow NLs, won't you paint them a clearer picture so they'd understand where u are coming from instead of posing them a puzzle? Anyway, I'm sorry if that got off to you on the bad side. Happy though others ain't complaining.

O boy, you have to do something fast. As in you need a serious talk with her. How can somebody that does not work be telling you such thing. I tell you to make money is not easy at all. But in the first instance why will the parents and the daughter not contributing anything? Do they want to kill you. Anyway i cant blame anybody. This is kind of people that knows that their parent dont have much, and when they get to school they'll become big girl . am sorry for that. Anyway bros, you have to be wise, if there is no money,women will leave and somewhere else. And to tell you the truth 2.5 is too much for only white wedding
God will help you. Go to God in prayer and tell him to give you wisdom to handle the situation at hand.

gentlegg:

Mentioning 2.5M pisses me off. People who truly could spend up to such amount on wedding alone wouldn't have mentioned it in the public like you did. Anyway good luck.

who is the girl in question? your wife to be? I personally think this is not the best place for all this. you should have known her better before now.
please respect her and stop this.

@OBNOXIOUS, thanks for those analysis. If I say I've not thought of all these points you raised, I'd be lying to myself. My today went bye without me achieving anything. I couldn't stop thinking if I'm not making the same mistake I ran away from a yr ago. The last was even better she has a good job but we could not agree on being frugal with money. She was a spendthrift & wanted a multimillion naira wedding else we wait till we can achieve it. I'm an understanding & humble individual and will not judge a person based on status as long as you are smart, intelligent and has a sound education. In my opinion, that woman you are seeing on top today was never on top yesterday. She climbed the ladder gradually. I'm very supportive & know I could see her through to the top. But this attitude from her & her family is begining to give me great cause for concern. I hope I've truly not burnt my hands. God help me. I hate to ponder on the saying "Good guys come last". It gives me shivers.

Envy. Jealousy.

Grow up please . . so you can lay claims to such ammount cos ur really showing that you are a hater right now and it is very annoying!!
[quote][/quote]

Zillion times wrong. 2.5m there is not any deal to me, Am only having an impression of an egocentric and puffed up mentality in the poster which i simply detest. How can a jobless girl see a guy with 2.5m wedding budget as stingy husband?

gentlegg:

Envy. Jealousy.

Grow up please . . so you can lay claims to such ammount cos ur really showing that you are a hater right now and it is very annoying!!

Zillion times wrong. 2.5m there is not any deal to me, Am only having an impression of an egocentric and puffed up mentality in the poster which i simply detest. How can a jobless girl see a guy with 2.5m wedding budget as stingy husband?

open your eyes and look around. dem boku!

do d shopping 2gether

very simple, shez complaining and spending as she wishes cuz its not coming from her or her parents, until she starts working and earning her own money will she know the importance of planning. Dont go broke cuz of una wedding oooooo

...

Zillion times wrong. 2.5m there is not any deal to me, Am only having an impression of an egocentric and puffed up mentality in the poster which i simply detest. How can a jobless girl see a guy with 2.5m wedding budget as stingy husband?

Again that's where you got it wrong. If you read the original post very well, you will realise that the girl is just trying to coarse the guy into allowing her spend the money the way she wants . . and possibly even get more from him.

Another point of correction: there a zillion girls / guys out there who will never appreciated any kind of help you offer. Cos theyre greedy and can never be statisfied. So even if you spend 10million they will still make you feel bad about it.

chaircover - totally agree with you. There are far too many women like this and what baffles me is they don't see anything wrong with this behaviour and attitude - with the help of her friends and family,

Funny thing is i blame the men, when they have someone who is willing to contribute and actually be reasonable with costs they tend to relax a bit too much - but when they have a leech they are more than willing to give out anything.

We are not telling u to run but i personally think you need to sit down with this woman and talk about some things and find out how she will be contributing towards your family. Is she the type that will continuously pester you for money as she doesn't want to work - and why is she not working?

I love how people who don't work have big eye past the ones making the money, i find them so funny. Like I said hope she likes garri and peak milk cos after spending all that money on ur white wedding (in a global recession!!!!!!!) and trying to go over budget i wonder what will be left for life. I have already told people if u are not putting a kobo in my wedding please keep ur thoughts and wishes to yourself. Imagine someone asking me what transport we are providing for them to get to church and reception,

Thanks all for your great understanding of my worries/pain. @gentlegg refused to understand the main crux of the post but instead wasted his precious time steaming over the wedding budget. What an irony?

Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. When she starts to work, I'd see how she wants to spend her money. I love her but as some points during this preparations I've wished I could retrace my steps but I'm too far gone to go back.

hmmmm, at all haters, cheemoney is a confirmed BIGBOY!!!!!!!!! lets give it up to the big boy common, i sure wanna know this guy, i want to be your pal o, i mean it. If you dont know what i'm talking about, check out these posts he made some years ago on this forum!

cheemoney :
Now let me bare my mind. I have been insulted enough in this forum just for asking. the LORD

said we should ask and it shall be giving to us. But what do I get in da house for asking?

Antagonists, playa haters, hypocryts and what have you. Na wah o.

Now the man Cheemoney.

I'm fair in complexion, the toast of many women, 6 footer, handsome.Let it be a topic,

someone in here (I will not mention name) has seen my picture. I want whoever cares to post

it as a topic with caption, "Who has seen cheemoney is he handsome?" I'm sure the person might respond. But please she should not post my picture here ooo.

God has loved me so much at my age. I know there are people at my age still better. I was

not born with a silver spoon but success has smiled on me.

Apart from my house in the village, I have an investment worth over =N=13,000,000 and

growing. I Drive a BMW 3 series 2002, a honda ivtech 2004 and a Honda CRV 2005 model I got

and reserved for my wife. I have had the taste of the best women both within and outside

lagos. So pips should respect themselves and not call me names.

I lost the love of my life to religion. She is a moslem from Kwara state. I am a christian

from Imo state. She is everything I wanted in a woman. Tall, beautiful in all measures. 5.8

feet tall. Plump and busty with all the right curves at the right places. Intelligent. We

dated for 8 years between 97 and 2004. She studied abroad and spent most of her time there.

We met in alpha beach when I marked my birthday and they were in nigeria on holidays. I will

post one or two of the birthday picture. She came back finally to Nigeria last year for her

youth service. All I was waiting for was her return so we can solemnise the union we both

planned. her folks knows about me. I visit either or both of the parents anytime they are in

Nigeria. They welcomed me with open arms. She sends me gifts and I buy her things mostly our

local fabrics that her folks takes to her. Never knew her mother never approved of our

union, bubble burst few weeks to her return finally. The problem! Her mother. her mother

said she can't marry a christian. BINGO and that was the end of an 8 years old journey.

I like the best things of life and know it doesn't come easy. Yes I was cheating on her all

the while she was away. i dated different kinda girls and helped so many.

I'm on nairaland because I don't trust a woman can truly love me for me. I see pretence and deceit in their eyes both in church and outside the church. Also, I know I cannot find a replacement for my "Bukkie" but i want something close and they are not easy to come bye. So I felt if I post it out here with those qualities listed, the right person will deem it fit to respond. I didn't mean to be insulted and didn't mean any ofense to the sistas in the house.

I've thought of posting my picture, but,

@cheemoney, dont mind them, you be big boy confirm! i guess this gurl we are talking about responded to the various ads you put up on nairaland in 2006 in almost a million threads, she must have seen you as a BIIIIIIG boy mahn, she wan hit you run
What about the valentine party you threw for people at your expense at the pool side of Eko Hotels and suites? damn, where have i been these are my kind of people, please send your details to me now, we must be friends.
In fact, if the girl dey behave somehow, my sister never marry, i will do the talking, you just do the marrying

2.5M on one wedding?

I think your wife already has plans of her own and you trying to get involved is probably what's making her angry. She probably feels that you're going to mess up her plans.

are you worried she's going to ask for more money or are you trying to plan a wedding so that there is left over change from the 2.5?
what exactly is your financial concern if you already have a budget you and her agree to?


just make sure to post ur wedding pics when it's over

@Poster: Am really so sorry if I would sound insultive to you.Why and what inspired you to want to marry this lady?did'nt you date her enough for her to know your likes or dislikes?
Did you chose because she is cute and beautiful or you think she is got some brain?The story so far about this lady is that she lacks brain though might be beautiful,,,U also sound like a man who a woman can easily manipulate, There is more to marriage than wedding itself,,why in this world would you want to marry a brainless girl if you can afford to spend 2.5Million on ur wedding?
My advice for you is that you begin to discuss everything possible there is in a relationship b4 U go ahead marrying this lady, did U get the question she asked as regards you dictating wht she buys in kitchen when U re marrried? Then you know what?? U both need to understand that no man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman,,,If she is going to stress urself after wedding,,then make her understand she is not worth it,,,
Some guys re funny though,,that is why I recommend getting married to a girl who has a job or have a very high potential to get a job or probably doing a trade.Why would a woman ever think that its the man's responsible to provide for all her needs.Don't people read proverbs 31 ??

@ cheemoney: you are certainly not wrong! why all the fuss? any reasonable person should have a budget in many aspects of his life not just wedding and for you to keep to your budget, you need some sort of accontability! I feel like this your girl is a big cry baby! since she appears to be unreasonable, then you should be the matured one. Tell her "2.5mill for the wedding, anything more than that, you are on your own" and mean it! some woman should stop giving us bad names especially those in nigeria. tell her to get a damn jobby job!

some girls are lucky and dumb as hell at the same time!

slimfine:



some girls are lucky and dumb as hell at the same time!

I know right? lol

but then I think the guy gave her 2.5m and wants to know what she spend each cent on and dictate how she should spend the money. That can mess things up and that's where I will suggest for the guy to leave the planning to the girl. why is he planning to marry her if he doesn't trust her in the first place

CheeMoney:

Thanks all for your great understanding of my worries/pain. @gentlegg refused to understand the main crux of the post but instead wasted his precious time steaming over the wedding budget. What an irony?

Anyway, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. When she starts to work, I'd see how she wants to spend her money. I love her but as some points during this preparations I've wished I could retrace my steps but I'm too far gone to go back.

CheeMoney

Like so many people on here I sincerely sympathize with you? How did you get this far in a "serious" relationship. Was there any premarital counseling involved (ok, my oyinbo too plenty).

On the real though, you guys are in Nigeria together, been in a relationship for approx. one year , so what is this about not discussing money and family matters beforehand?

This is thin ice o. Don't be cajoled and blackmailed, there is still time. It appears that there needs to be more transparency in this relationship - you must work out your issues before you proceed further otherwise it will just be fallow ground for more to come. Postpone the wedding if you must, iron out as much as you can.

You seem like a fairly level headed guy, a spouse is someone who upholds and supports you. That is what you should expect in any relationship that has progressed this far.

The way I understand it which is not to say they way it always is; loving someone, means you have THEIR goodwill at heart
Softly softly o

@oyinda, permit me to correct an impression. I did not give her 2.5m to plan the wedding. We talked extensively on the kind of wedding we want & after our rough calculations, we arrived at that budget. Not because all the money will go into, but worse case scenario, we spend all but not a dime more. When ever she wants to go shopping for anything, I release money to her account. At the end of the day as someones wife, when she comes back while talking on how the shopping went, I expect her to say honey see how it went and so on. Example; lets say we budgeted 80k for a lace material & she got it for 50k, is it a crime for me to know? I don't know for others but it gives me a sense of belonging. Even though she spends all the money voted for that particular shopping, let me know how it was spent. Kind of a break down. Is that too much to ask? I just want to be carried along thats all.