Your Marriage ,Your Life,Your Ministry (3)( where marriages may end )

We have been examining the marital institution in scriptures

We must display the character of christ in our marriages .

Pauls examples to the Ephesians are plainly spiritual

Ephesians 5:23-25 KJV
[23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
[24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Christ and His church not Halle Berry or Jayz or Obama .

However ,many still wonder is marriage a life sentence such that as earlier seen I must walk in love and ensure and insist the marriage remains .

First and foremost marriage is not till death do you part .

That phrase is coined by men to exemplify the sanctity and fidelity which should exist in marriages .

It's noble .Appealing and desirable for all .

However ,like most human innovations ,it must be carefully weighed else it turns into prison chains .God has called us to liberty .

Some have said " what God has joined together let no man put asunder "

They many times misquoted Jesus .

Matthew 19:6 KJV
[6] Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

He referred to the institution of one man and one wife not that individuals can't leave .
That's for another day .

As earlier noted there are instances marriages end

Firstly a Spouse dies

1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV
[39] The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Widows abound in scriptures and they were not buried with their spouse .

Luke 2:36-37 KJV
[36] And there was one Anna, a prophetess, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Aser: she was of a great age, and had lived with an husband seven years from her virginity; [37] And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day.

Even Abraham married again at such an old age after Sarah's demise .

Genesis 25:1-2 KJV
[1] Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah. [2] And she bare him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah.

With plenty kids !Sarah,Hagar and Now this ...

As an aside Moses by reason of his fugitive lifestyle had to marry more than once

Exodus 2:21-22 KJV
[21] And Moses was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Moses Zipporah his daughter. [22] And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.

Then again much later had to marry again

Numbers 12:1 KJV
[1] And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

Mariam and Aaron were jointly judged for criticizing his remarriage .

Also Jesus acknowledged a woman who had married several times

John 4:18 KJV
[18] For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

Five !,it doesn't make it a good and godly example but Jesus didn't call them her live in lovers but husbands !

In fact ,he made a distinction between living with a man and been married to him .she was married five times.Jesus said so and acknowledged it.

This might get some legalistic minds awry but relax and take a chilled drink ( non alcoholic ) and read again

We are all reading from scriptures and quoting notable figures including our Lord and Saviour Jesus

Take note Jesus went and stayed in the woman's area same day despite her horrible marital experiences

She became a witness for christ despite having been married five times and with an illegitimate relationship ,she believed Jesus and received forgiveness and I believe straightened out

Never allow marital failures or challenges paralyze your ministry and potentials

John 4:28-29,41 KJV
[28] The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, [29] Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ?
41] And many more believed because of his own word;

No other woman in the four gospels did this much in the work of ministry !

We shall treat this later..

So,marriage at times can go different ways .

We have examined a dead spouse

Also ,a spouse that has chosen to depart makes the marriage done and dusted and the other partner not bound to be waiting for the rest of his or her life

1 Corinthians 7:10 KJV
[10] And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1 Corinthians 7:11 KJV
[11] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

As a ground rule never seek separation or divorce ,seek reconciliation ,both husband and wife
Notice paul doesn't give specific reasons which occasion this .

I digress

But ..
He gives exceptions

1 Corinthians 7:12-13 KJV
[12] But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
[13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

In this case a marriage between a believer and non believer .

Note the key words " if he/ she be pleased to dwell '

You can't force a union .You can desire ,pray but can't upturn another's will.

Where a partner leaves ,the other spouse is no longer bound to him or her anymore

Leave could mean ,remarry ,separate etc

1 Corinthians 7:15 KJV
[15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us to peace.

Not under bondage .

However paul doesn't encourage remarriage !

1 Corinthians 7:26-27 KJV
[26] I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say , that it is good for a man so to be.
[27] Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

Neither is he asking you never to,

1 Corinthians 7:28 KJV
[28] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

You haven't sinned !

Now the narrative seems like it speaks of unbelievers.
By strict rule of context it will presupposes this is only allowed when it's between a believer and a non believer .

However ,bible interpretation rules gives the latitude to examine other contents of scriptures which deal with the same subject or personalities .

For example the term carnal is used for none believers only ,technically

1 Corinthians 2:14 KJV
[14] But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them , because they are spiritually discerned.

The natural man is the unbeliever

Romans 8:6-8 KJV
[6] For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
[7] Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
[8] So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

He is carnal .

However ,some believers are such referred to in their conduct

1 Corinthians 3:1,3 KJV
[1] And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
[3] For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

Though an oxymoron yet the behavior is judged Like that of an unbeliever

The Corinthian brother was so treated

1 Corinthians 5:1,13 KJV
[1] It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
[13] But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

The issue wasn't adultery even though that's a sin but open rebellion and an un remorseful attitude .

He's called wicked .And association withdrawn .

Same as those who live without accountability

2 Thessalonians 3:14 KJV
[14] And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.

We are told to condemn such conduct as if they weren't saved folks .

The spouse of such fellow will be put in such a situation here !

Hence the need to marry a person who Doesn't hold The Word and His church in utter contempt .

Lovers of money and corrupt folks too

1 Timothy 6:5 KJV
[5] Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.

So,we have instances believers are treated like the unsaved .

To further buttress this within the marital institution ,irresponsible men are to be seen like this

1 Timothy 5:8 KJV
[8] But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Worse than an unbeliever ,denied the faith.

Very strong words.

Where the erring partner disregards the word and lives in open rebellion ,and has shunned wise counsel and keeps living in sin ,we can't treat him as a believer even though he is one
We still see him as brother not an enemy

2 Thessalonians 3:15 KJV
[15] Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

So he or she MUST be rebuked ,disciplined and dealt with accordingly .

2 Corinthians 13:10 KJV
[10] Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the power which the Lord hath given me to edification, and not to destruction.

A man not for lack of resources yet refuses to take care of his home is an unbeliever in conduct .

A woman who abandons her marital duties too.

A licentious man or woman not amenable to correction too.

Now to another issue

A violent spouse ,who abuses his wife or husband is a persecutor.

Don't stay in the house praying .

Run for your dear life .

Matthew 24:16-18 KJV
[16] Then let them which be in Judaea flee into the mountains:
[17] Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house:
[18] Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.

Jesus himself hid from his persecutors

Paul ran

In some instances he was hid away

Acts 9:24-25 KJV
[24] But their laying await was known of Saul. And they watched the gates day and night to kill him. [25] Then the disciples took him by night, and let him down by the wall in a basket.

Leave such a home or at worst separate .

If men who knew dying for the gospel had rewards ,yet fled..
What reward will you be getting for getting killed by a spouse

You can pray elsewhere but not in a house you receive scourges like a lamb taking the sin of the world away .

Let me stop here .

In such instances where harm is evident ,it's stupid to stay in such a home .

It's not do or die .

You weren't sent to this world to marry ,

As per remarriage or otherwise we shall touch that later .

This includes where the children's lives are endangered ,incest,etc
I have witnessed were the dad took his son for rituals !

Now that's no need praying ,leave !

And seek Gods wisdom
James 1:5 KJV
[5] If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

But don't pray where he or she is

Do it elsewhere or else your answers to the prayers will be received when you are dead !

Are there instances marriages might be difficult to continue ,,,

Res Ipsa Loquitur.

We must never judge people's marital challenges presumptuously or hypocritically .

Great men and woman suffer terrible marriages

Great women of God and men make wrong marital choices but this must never be a death sentence nor used to stifle them in ministry

There are several unserious believers with no marriage failures ,they don't serve God or the local church,so of what use is the romantic haven ?Even in hell today are men and women who had marriages that never broke up.
so what?they receive the crown of life ?

I will touch this later..

( to be continued )

I call you blessed .

BY PASTOR Chris Segun Onayinka

Pastor, Saints Community Church, Lagos