kilokeys:
Mizmycoli long time..
https://my.notjustok.com/track/download/id/59385 listen to my single.. Did it for bae.

Ehen, back to the question...

I think the communication should be more when u rnt having sex.

It takes a good sense of humor to ask ur partner what just happend, what was good, what should be better, after u guys are done with the shagging.

When u start this kain gist @ op. Our finest philosopher

Great!
Just downloaded it.
I'll listen to it after I'm done with my meditative songs.

@Dis kyn Gist,
Well, it's a new year...

2dice:
Most 9ja women think their Men will take them as a Hoe
#Not the one for digging Ground

LegatusGlaber:

Good Morning
What's the matter?

Jackrich:
Ok

Lol

Hey Dear
That's how I didn't see you again yesterday o

@Topic, contribute suntin na

Exponental:
if you are not dumb, speak the language he understands to communicate what you want.

Bros, na fight?

MizMyColi:


Lol

Hey Dear
That's how I didn't see you again yesterday o

@Topic, contribute suntin na

MizMyColi:

Good Morning What's the matter?

zainabicy:
Dere r some kindof cultures that encourage this 'free talk'
In my side, if u r telling ur husband how u want it...ah, You be 'ashawo' b dat or u r spoilt

U r 2 just lie down on ur back and take it...like literally

kilokeys:


When u start this kain gist @ op. Our finest philosopher

Just what I wanted to ask her

Neways, like you said, it should be done. But not during the act; before and after.

I just can't imagine myself doing something I/ we haven't done before immediately he mentions it. Nah! I'll have to think it out. Decide whether or not to oblige.

BTW, Mizmycoli wassup? You disappeared here

We on a hiatus?

MizMyColi:


Good Evening Everyone

The new year offers us a moment in time to renew our commitments to ourselves, our relationships, and the larger world. Today, I take a look at the role of good communication in foster fulfilling intimate relationships, all year long. 

"How can I tell my man what I want? If I get even slightly turned on, he takes it as a sign that he can simply proceed straight to the gate for take-off. He’ll stimulate me for 30 seconds and get inside me. And in my mind I’m thinking: ‘I wish he would move a little gently, have his hands all over my body. Then I might ask him to kiss me in a certain spot, so I’ll give him a sort of hint of what would feel good.’ Sometimes he gets it, and he responds. But other times – he doesn’t seem to hear me."  - Amy, 43

If everyone communicates their needs openly, everyone gains.

Women are constantly told that they need to tell their partner what feels good to them sexually, to be proactive with their desire, to be more assertive and bold. For many people, this is easier said than done. It can feel safer to remain passive and take from our sexual encounters what we can get. Women often tell me that they really like to linger in the pleasures of the preliminaries, that they like them as much, if not more, than the act itself, yet they tend to accommodate their partner and abdicate their wants. They tend to go along with a more stereotypically male definition of sex, where pre-intimacy is the mere introduction to the ‘real’ thing.

However, it is precisely the anticipation, the seduction, the playful touch, the kissing, stroking, and gazing into each other’s eyes – all the stuff that fuels desire and excitement – that make them feel desired. It is those exquisite aspects of pre-intimacy that, for women, often make up the real thing.

Many of the women I work with in my practice worry that they take too long to climax in an orgasm, that their partner will be bored. Once he reaches orgasm, they give up theirs as if his rhythm defines hers. They fake their orgasms, they pretend. They tell me: ‘His ego is too fragile’. ‘I don’t think he can hear me’. ‘I don’t want to hurt him.’ Or: ‘I don’t want him to be angry and to reject me.’ Or even, sometimes, ‘I don’t know what I want, all I know is that I don’t want what I have.’ Men like to hear the guidance, but they can’t stand the criticism. It eats away at their sexual confidence. ‘No sooner do I touch her than she starts dictating to me what to do. I feel so tense following instructions. This tickles, this rubs. Here, she is too dry; there, she is too wet. Slower, faster, harder, softer, it doesn’t stop.’

Obviously, it’s tough on the partners too -- these sorts of requests can come across as instructions at a time when both people in the room are at their most vulnerable.

Talk about your preferences and desires before and after intimate moments, not only during them. 

For women and for men, when we feel sexually frustrated we are likely to be irritable, less patient, more aggressive and tactless. Instead of saying ‘I would like more stroking’, we say: ‘Why do you always go straight for my breasts?’ or ‘You never kiss me’ or the crowning put-down: ‘I never had this problem with my previous boyfriend.’ As a rule, sexual communication around what we want and how we want it is better discussed outside the bedroom, not while we are engaging with each other.

Utilize non-verbal communication.

I am a therapist, so I obviously value talking, but I also challenge the insistence of the verbal as the superior way to communicate. We speak with our bodies, with actions, with a gaze. The body, as a matter of fact, is our mother tongue; we express so much in the physical language long before we can utter one word. While I think that talking is important for couples, we are facing a situation where sharing is not a choice but a mandate. There is this perceived wisdom that if you don’t share or talk, you are not close. That is a false assumption and one that puts a lot of pressure on men in particular. There’s a lot to gain from showing your partner, non-verbally, what you like. Gently take his or her hand, guide it, move around so that you have got it where you like it. Books, magazines and videos might help you, too. And expressing appreciation for having your partner in your life is critical to helping him or her feel confident to take in all your needs, without seeing your complaint as a diminishment of his masculinity or femininity.

Both men and women fall in the trap of believing that if you need to discuss methods, it means there is not a good sexual connection. How about rethinking that? Doesn’t it make more sense that if you feel you can communicate your wants openly, that’s the ‘real’ sign of a good sexual vibe?

Do you successfully communicate your physical and emotional needs to your partner(s)? If not, what's holding you back? What tactics have been most successful to getting what you want?



http://www.estherperel.com/2016/01/how-can-you-tell-your-partner-what-you-want-in-bed/

Griffon:
That communication can be carried out before the sex.

Being a couple connotes that you two must understand what eachother detests and savours. So in your spare time, endeavour to talk about virtually everything, sex inclusive.

Moreover, this is why its important to give courtship a shot before moving into marriage. It should be a period to understand what tickles the fantasy of your spouse.

francizy:



Kaboninc, your attention is needed here ASAP...

RiloKiley:
Sexual communication for married couples is not as easy as you might think. If it was there would be a massive reduction in cheating issues. A lot of people have the mindset that sex is 'dirty' or 'special' and should be 'spontaneous'. When their so called better half cannot meet up to standard in bed there is the tendency for the women to bear it or for the man to seek pleasure elsewhere (religion, side-chicks, prostitutes, alcohol). Discussing sex to ones partner in all is ramifications can be very awkward. A woman that likes to be touched in the butthole will feel more than mortified if she mentions it and her husband laughs at or rejects the idea. She has to face the embarrassment everytime she sees him. Same for a man that wants his woman to perform MouthAction on him and she screams that he is a demon. You can be sure such issues will most likely be used as arsenal in a few arguments.
All in all it all boils down to trust and respect and the type of person you married whether he/she is an introvert or extrovert.

You're correct.

And that's why it's imperative to start early to begin building openness and trust in a relationship that'll last.

BreezyRita:

Just what I wanted to ask her
Neways, like you said, it should be done. But not during the act; before and after.
I just can't imagine myself doing something I/ we haven't done before immediately he mentions it. Nah! I'll have to think it out. Decide whether or not to oblige.
BTW, Mizmycoli wassup? You disappeared here
We on a hiatus?

Heyyy
Hii Deariee

Disappeared ke?
I've been around Darl.

I tend to talk these days, only when I really need to
You take care of you, and be safe