Mercy is my junior in office, a very cool headed young woman, very hardworking and honest. I noticed that she has become so moody since November last year. I have asked her about it several times but she keep saying all is well. But last Monday, she walked into my office at noon to inform me that she has something to tell me after work, I waited patiently till 4pm to hear her out. She came in by 10 past 4 and started to narrate her story to me. Her husband has been unemployed since 2011, so she has been taking all financial responsibilities at home including sending money to her hubby's parent and siblings who are in school. She said her hubby happened to be the unappreciative type who abuses her at will, telling her he can survive without her money. She said she will be the one to beg him despite the abuses. The worst aspect of the show is that her in laws who doesn't really know the condition of her hubby believes that she is responsible for her Hubby's inability to take good care of them, she said the family especially the younger sister of her husband has also been giving her hell of time while the husband will look the other way round. She said she made up her mind to express herself during the last Xmas holiday, she reacted to their insults telling them she is not responsible for their son's unemployment. She was shocked to realise that her in laws were hearing for the first time that their son have no job, she said her hubby has made life unbearable for her since then and that she has now moved back into her uncle's house which she left when she got married in 2010. The uncle is abroad and she has been the one looking after the house since they travelled in 2013. Though her family members are trying to resolve the issues but she said she is tired of the marriage. I am of the opinion that things can be sorted out between them though and I told her, please nairalanders, is divorce the solution?

mods please, kindly help me move this to family section, mistake regretted

Based on this side of the story,she shld quit

Or else,d guy go kill am one day


But,seemingly as we can't get the oda side of d story,its hard to judge

Some ladies can frustrate ehn!!!

God forbid any lazy and irresponsible man in my life. Parasites will suck you dry and kill you eventually. Tell your friend she is married to herself oo and that is not how God planned marriage. Abuse? And she still wants to go back? Tell her to will her properties to you in advance because she won't come out alive to tell the story. I must be married by force by fire even in the midst of danger. SMH!! For the society and marriage madness. If they ask married folks to come out, she too will stand up; even when crime prisoners are better than her... at least they don't get abused and leeched on. KMT!

Let her sit the husband down and have a family talk. Ask her husband what he wants from her and why he has not been treating her fairly.
If nothing came out of that, she should involve both families with hers first.

Interesting comments from some people advising her to quit the marriage.

I wonder if the advise would have been the same if it was a man that told the story.

So if a man says his wife has been unemployed for 5 years and he has been the one providing for her and even sending money to her people, yet the wife shows no appreciation, will we say he should divorce her? Most responses will even suggest that is what is expected of him and all he needs to do is to talk to him wife.

Why is it the advice different now that it's a lady narrating the story?

My advice is that husband and wife should resolve this amicably. This does not warrant divorce.

TooNoisy:
Interesting comments from some people advising her to quit the marriage.

I wonder if the advise would have been the same if it was a man that told the story.

So if a man says his wife has been unemployed for 5 years and he has been the one providing for her and even sending money to her people, yet the wife shows no appreciation, will we say he should divorce her? Most responses will even suggest that is what is expected of him and all he needs to do is to talk to him wife.

Why is it the advice different now that it's a lady narrating the story?

My advice is that husband and wife should resolve this amicably. This does not warrant divorce.

Both have different roles to play in d marriage and d hubby is doing none...a man is meant to be a provider and protector in the family while d woman is d helping hand and she takes care of what's needed in the home and it seems in their own setting the woman is doing both and to top it all she's being abused for it.

Am very sure what made d woman tired is d constant abuse of d hubby plus his family and dts just all shades of wrong! D man isn't providing and he is not protecting his wife from his family...ur example here doesn't fit coz we see men everyday who leave their wives coz they don't know how to cook and do other things in the home

Not every issue can be sorted amicably..coz d man will just lie dt he'll change...when you aint getting what u need from ur partner for so many years i think one is allowed to leave...marriage no b do-or-die affair.

This is made in CHINA story

Na wah o.
She cannot do more than her power na. The thing money can cause in marriages no be small thing o.

However, they should both try to redefine their relationship, and try to sort things out.

If husband says no, and wife too says no its best everyone goes their separate ways.

You really cannot force a horse to drink water after forcing it to the stream.

Interesting comments from some people advising her to quit the marriage.

I wonder if the advise would have been the same if it was a man that told the story.

So if a man says his wife has been unemployed for 5 years and he has been the one providing for her and even sending money to her people, yet the wife shows no appreciation, will we say he should divorce her? Most responses will even suggest that is what is expected of him and all he needs to do is to talk to him wife.

Why is it the advice different now that it's a lady narrating the story?

My advice is that husband and wife should resolve this amicably. This does not warrant divorce.[/quote] MATURED..

Hmmnnnn.....has the man been unemployed before the wedding? if so,their comes the problem cos he has not been a provider from onset. if it was a subseqent occurence; i think the man is frustrated that he is no more capable of taking care of his family and he lashes out by being unsupportive and unappreciative which is bad. In my own opinion, what the wife did by separating from him for a while is the best. He will then have a rethink and see how much his wife have been there. She shldnt divorce him...he will come around. she should also pray for him.
Bottom line its good to look and scrutinize before leaping into marriage!!

TooNoisy:
Interesting comments from some people advising her to quit the marriage.

I wonder if the advise would have been the same if it was a man that told the story.

So if a man says his wife has been unemployed for 5 years and he has been the one providing for her and even sending money to her people, yet the wife shows no appreciation, will we say he should divorce her? Most responses will even suggest that is what is expected of him and all he needs to do is to talk to him wife.

Why is it the advice different now that it's a lady narrating the story?

My advice is that husband and wife should resolve this amicably. This does not warrant divorce.

Well said