WHY WONDERFUL GODLY SINGLES END UP IN WOEFUL BAD MARRIAGES - Part 2.
My counsel for the singles with my personal experience series, second part.

In the first part of this topic, I shared one of the reasons why many godly sisters end up in wrong marriages, this second part continues from there but for both sisters and brothers.

2, OUTWARD APPEARANCE: So many people are regretting in their marriages simply because they made their marital choice by outward look, because such decisions are usually manipulated by the flesh, not by God. God does not work or lead by outward appearance, because while God look at the heart, men look at the face, while God looks inward, we look outward, while God look on permanent effects, we look at temporal effects. 1 Samuel 16:6, 7.

If you are predominantly concerned about the physical look in marital choice; you are likely to make wrong choice. If you wrongly marry someone because of height, straight legs, good set of teeth, skin complexion, body shape or size, tribe, profession or present situation, when you get into the marriage, soon you will be so irritated by him or her that you would wish to use cutlass to cut off the straight legs that deceived you into the marriage; when the agony of wrong marriage is unleash on you.

The Bible says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30. When Bible says beautiful is nothing, you think that is not so, and beauty is like everything to you, when you get married to wrong person, you will then remember this Bible verse. Physical beauty has deceived so many wonderful brothers into relationship that they could not think straight and eventually landed into terrible marriage which cost them their lives.

Some may be thinking marrying a so beautiful lady or handsome man would make you feel satisfied or fulfilled – that is a deception from the pit of hell. If marrying a beautiful lady or a handsome man is what makes a happy marriage, why all these celebrities are having broken marriages? Why so many married men are still cheating on their pretty wives? Why all these wives with their handsome husbands are having nightmare marriages? The answer is simply because physical beauty is NOTHING. The impression of physical look usually fades away soon in marriage when it is overtaken by the oppression of bad habits.

Tribe, skin colour, facial outlook, body size or shape, good sense of dressing, height and physical beauty have nothing to do with a happy and godly marriage, if you are single, you may find this hard to believe until you get into the marriage. Genuine salvation in Christ and God’s leading are what you really need, I’m talking from my personal experience.

3, UNNECESSARY THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER: Let me say something here – if you are not married, no matter how deep your knowledge about marriage, no matter how familiar you are to marriage, and no matter how much and how long God has been using you to counsel and help married people, there some things you will never know about marriage until you are married. There are many things that attract people into marital relationship that have nothing to do with marriage. For example, you see a sister who can sing very well in church or a brother who is expert in musical instrument and you are attracted to her or him for marital relationship, now what does marriage has to do with singing? Is it not when you are happily married that you will remember to sing together? Other things like academic brilliance, being talented in one way or the other, speaking English fluently and so on; all these do not matter in marriage, but are attracting many into marital relationship.

4, WHAT PEOPLE WOULD SAY: This is common with both brothers and sisters, but more with sisters, when you want to marry wrong person because you want to impress people or you don't want to marry a right person because of what people would say, then you may end up in a terrible marriage. You sisters married doctor, lawyer, and your friends married banker and a rich business men, and you who is more beautiful, handsome, more educated,a PhD holder, how can you marry a SSCE holder or ND, or HND or a degree with one common course. Your family and friends have been waiting to see that handsome, rich well-doing man, now you say God is leading this man to you? What will your family and friends say? How will you post your wedding pictures on Facebook and where will you say you do your honeymoon? So you ask that even if you accept to marry him, what will your people say?

This is the reason so many, many people end up in a regrettable marriage, because of what people would say, but when they get into the marriage, they cannot tell people what they are facing in the marriage, they cannot share their horrible experience on Facebook.

The most miserable life to live is to live to impress people, because you will care for what people will say than what really matter to your dear life. You know this simple sister, this unemployed, uneducated brother is godly, sincere and may be the right person, because s/he is not presentable to your taste, to your people and you opt for a wrong person which you forcefully claim to be the right person, you know what? You will receive temporal glory days, but permanent gloomy days.

5, UNGUIDED POSITION/LEVEL: If care is not taken, your position may deprive you of God’s will for your life. You may be a senior staff at work and God may lead you to a very low junior staff, if you are not careful, you may miss it. Even your position in the church, especially sisters, can make you miss God’s will if you are careless. Imagine a genuine new convert brother being led to a sister’s leader in the fellowship. Your academic level, your professional level, your family level, and all that can be manipulated by Satan to mislead you. People would want you to marry someone of your level or position, but you will need to be humble for God’s will for your life.

My wife and I went to Wuse market yesterday to buy some kitchen stuffs, as we bought from this man, whose shop is filled outside and inside, he took time to share about his family. He said the lady he wanted to marry in life dropped him because he had no money and he was not educated enough. He struggled from selling pure water to different things, and as he was getting money, he furthered his schooling till he became a graduate. Now he is married with 4 children, he said he sent his wife to UK for her master degree program. He concluded that his wife is more beautiful and educated than the lady who dumped him years back.

I have learned by experience that when we seek first the will of God in marriage, all other things will follow including financial, material, beauty – when you are well fed and less stressed, you will look glowing, younger and fresh. Will of God in marriage goes beyond marriage, it affect your spiritual life, your success and progress in life, your ministry, your destiny and so on, and if you miss it, you may miss the ministry, purpose of God and eternity.

I said I would share with you how I got married to my wife and what happened thereafter, but I will first want to share how I discovered God’s will for my life in such a simple way, this I will share in the next topic on this single counseling - HOW TO DISCOVER GOD’S WILL IN MARRIAGE. To discover God’s will, you will need to cover own self. Other Subsequent topics: how to know a man of vision and a woman of virtue/ how to discover God’s will in business/ living to succeed, not just to survive. All these with my little personal experience and largely with the inspiration and revelation of the Holy Spirit.

You can follow this topic by adding me as your friend on Facebook or like our ministry page, just click on this link https://www.facebook.com/revelationoftruthevangelicalministries.rtem/

I wish you a perfect will of God as you are prayerfully waiting, and I wish you a turn around in your struggling marriage.

Gideon Akande
One of the Evangelists @
Revelation of Truth Evangelical Ministries. RTEM
Abuja, Nigeria

FreshGreen:
WHY WONDERFUL GODLY SINGLES END UP IN WOEFUL BAD MARRIAGES - Part 2.
My counsel for the singles with my personal experience series, second part.

In the first part of this topic, I shared one of the reasons why many godly sisters end up in wrong marriages, this second part continues from there but for both sisters and brothers.

2, OUTWARD APPEARANCE: So many people are regretting in their marriages simply because they made their marital choice by outward look, because such decisions are usually manipulated by the flesh, not by God. God does not work or lead by outward appearance, because while God look at the heart, men look at the face, while God looks inward, we look outward, while God look on permanent effects, we look at temporal effects. 1 Samuel 16:6, 7.

If you are predominantly concerned about the physical look in marital choice; you are likely to make wrong choice. If you wrongly marry someone because of height, straight legs, good set of teeth, skin complexion, body shape or size, tribe, profession or present situation, when you get into the marriage, soon you will be so irritated by him or her that you would wish to use cutlass to cut off the straight legs that deceived you into the marriage; when the agony of wrong marriage is unleash on you.

The Bible says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30. When Bible says beautiful is nothing, you think that is not so, and beauty is like everything to you, when you get married to wrong person, you will then remember this Bible verse. Physical beauty has deceived so many wonderful brothers into relationship that they could not think straight and eventually landed into terrible marriage which cost them their lives.

Some may be thinking marrying a so beautiful lady or handsome man would make you feel satisfied or fulfilled – that is a deception from the pit of hell. If marrying a beautiful lady or a handsome man is what makes a happy marriage, why all these celebrities are having broken marriages? Why so many married men are still cheating on their pretty wives? Why all these wives with their handsome husbands are having nightmare marriages? The answer is simply because physical beauty is NOTHING. The impression of physical look usually fades away soon in marriage when it is overtaken by the oppression of bad habits.

Tribe, skin colour, facial outlook, body size or shape, good sense of dressing, height and physical beauty have nothing to do with a happy and godly marriage, if you are single, you may find this hard to believe until you get into the marriage. Genuine salvation in Christ and God’s leading are what you really need, I’m talking from my personal experience.

3, UNNECESSARY THINGS THAT DO NOT MATTER: Let me say something here – if you are not married, no matter how deep your knowledge about marriage, no matter how familiar you are to marriage, and no matter how much and how long God has been using you to counsel and help married people, there some things you will never know about marriage until you are married. There are many things that attract people into marital relationship that have nothing to do with marriage. For example, you see a sister who can sing very well in church or a brother who is expert in musical instrument and you are attracted to her or him for marital relationship, now what does marriage has to do with singing? Is it not when you are happily married that you will remember to sing together? Other things like academic brilliance, being talented in one way or the other, speaking English fluently and so on; all these do not matter in marriage, but are attracting many into marital relationship.

4, WHAT PEOPLE WOULD SAY: This is common with both brothers and sisters, but more with sisters, when you want to marry wrong person because you want to impress people or you don't want to marry a right person because of what people would say, then you may end up in a terrible marriage. You sisters married doctor, lawyer, and your friends married banker and a rich business men, and you who is more beautiful, handsome, more educated,a PhD holder, how can you marry a SSCE holder or ND, or HND or a degree with one common course. Your family and friends have been waiting to see that handsome, rich well-doing man, now you say God is leading this man to you? What will your family and friends say? How will you post your wedding pictures on Facebook and where will you say you do your honeymoon? So you ask that even if you accept to marry him, what will your people say?

This is the reason so many, many people end up in a regrettable marriage, because of what people would say, but when they get into the marriage, they cannot tell people what they are facing in the marriage, they cannot share their horrible experience on Facebook.

The most miserable life to live is to live to impress people, because you will care for what people will say than what really matter to your dear life. You know this simple sister, this unemployed, uneducated brother is godly, sincere and may be the right person, because s/he is not presentable to your taste, to your people and you opt for a wrong person which you forcefully claim to be the right person, you know what? You will receive temporal glory days, but permanent gloomy days.

5, UNGUIDED POSITION/LEVEL: If care is not taken, your position may deprive you of God’s will for your life. You may be a senior staff at work and God may lead you to a very low junior staff, if you are not careful, you may miss it. Even your position in the church, especially sisters, can make you miss God’s will if you are careless. Imagine a genuine new convert brother being led to a sister’s leader in the fellowship. Your academic level, your professional level, your family level, and all that can be manipulated by Satan to mislead you. People would want you to marry someone of your level or position, but you will need to be humble for God’s will for your life.

My wife and I went to Wuse market yesterday to buy some kitchen stuffs, as we bought from this man, whose shop is filled outside and inside, he took time to share about his family. He said the lady he wanted to marry in life dropped him because he had no money and he was not educated enough. He struggled from selling pure water to different things, and as he was getting money, he furthered his schooling till he became a graduate. Now he is married with 4 children, he said he sent his wife to UK for her master degree program. He concluded that his wife is more beautiful and educated than the lady who dumped him years back.

I have learned by experience that when we seek first the will of God in marriage, all other things will follow including financial, material, beauty – when you are well fed and less stressed, you will look glowing, younger and fresh. Will of God in marriage goes beyond marriage, it affect your spiritual life, your success and progress in life, your ministry, your destiny and so on, and if you miss it, you may miss the ministry, purpose of God and eternity.

I said I would share with you how I got married to my wife and what happened thereafter, but I will first want to share how I discovered God’s will for my life in such a simple way, this I will share in the next topic on this single counseling - HOW TO DISCOVER GOD’S WILL IN MARRIAGE. To discover God’s will, you will need to cover own self. Other Subsequent topics: how to know a man of vision and a woman of virtue/ how to discover God’s will in business/ living to succeed, not just to survive. All these with my little personal experience and largely with the inspiration and revelation of the Holy Spirit.

You can follow this topic by adding me as your friend on Facebook or like our ministry page, just click on this link https://www.facebook.com/revelationoftruthevangelicalministries.rtem/

I wish you a perfect will of God as you are prayerfully waiting, and I wish you a turn around in your struggling marriage.

Gideon Akande
One of the Evangelists @
Revelation of Truth Evangelical Ministries. RTEM
Abuja, Nigeria

part3, pls!