Although some of them are quite obscene, my apologies, you just have to appreciate the pun and beauty of these hilarious proverbs

(1)Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth,
(2) War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
(3) Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
(4) Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
(5) Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
(6) Foolish man gives wife piano, wise man give wife upright organ
(7) Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
( It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
(9) Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
(10) Man who stands on toilet is high on pot
(11) Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
(12) Man who fart in church sits in own pew.
(13) Crowed elevator smells different to dwarves.
(14) Man who go to bed with itchy finger wakes up with stinky hand.