We have established that your happiness in life depends really on you. It’s about how you view life events that happen to you or around you. The steady rock though, that can help you keep a proper view of life are your values.

Let’s title this, 5 PERSONAL VALUES THAT WOULD BRING YOU HAPPINESS

1. 1. FORGIVENESS
Many times this is mentioned, most folks feel like it’s really for someone else and not them. The average person believes that forgiveness comes naturally to them. We all believe in the holiness of our hearts, at least until someone dear to us upsets us. Then we realize it doesn’t come naturally at all. We are amazed at the ability of our hearts to tighten up even at just the sight of our offender.

Bitterness has been proven to be the root of many illnesses, both physical and emotional, including depression and some mental illnesses. When you taste something bitter in your mouth, the first place to react is the face. It scowls in a similar fashion as when someone you are angry with steps into the room. The next action is to instantly spew the bitter substance out of your mouth. That is the part we don’t do when we are angry with someone. We allow the bitterness straight into our hearts and allow it settle in very well. It then begins to do its damage; poison our hearts and souls.

Unforgiveness has led to countless aches in our world. Many have lost promising relationships and marriages due to unforgiveness. Others have lost their peace, health and even their minds.

Truly, no one can go through life without facing this monster called Bitterness. We would most definitely be offended by people. Some dear to us, and others we would love to hate. But ultimately, we need to decide to forgive, not for the offender’s sake but for our sakes. If someone upsets me and I refuse to forgive, I suffer twice actually; because I have been hurt and I also end up suffering the consequences of not forgiving, while the offender carries on happy because he/she may not even know I am offended.

1. 2. BEING ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING
Anxiety is a distant cousin to Bitterness. They actually have similar effects on their victims; killing them softly. Some would win an Olympic medal in worrying if it could be made a sport. Worry is enticing. It gives a soothing feeling of action. The worrier tells himself, he is doing something about the situation. Well, yes he is, but that something he is doing is not going to bring about any solutions but instead make things worse. It’s better then, to do nothing about the situation and leave things the way they are rather than make it worse by worrying.

Worrying has been fingered in illnesses such as high blood pressure, depression, diabetes and a host of others. When writing your ‘to do list’ of solutions to a problem, please remember to leave out Anxiety or Worry, because they have never solved any problems.

1 3. SIMPLE LIVING
Folks who have this as a value travel through life with less burdens and weights. They are not concerned about everything calling for their attention. Your heart is too small to carry the weight of the world. Don’t even bother! Simple people do the following:
i. They take each day as it comes. This is no clarion call for laziness and lack of planning. Instead, it is a call for you to take all that come your way as positively as you can. Deal with situations with an open mind and always believe for the best. How long will you survive on earth if you begin to cry today because someone tells you your best friend will die in twenty years time?


People who don’t take the days as they come are hardly ever satisfied with what they have today. They are constantly looking for what they don’t have, and I dare say, they will never find it because Economics experts tell us human wants are insatiable.
ii. They don’t compare themselves with others.

I once lived in a village far from civilization, as we know it, in Nigeria’s North East Region. While I resided there, I had no car, no landed property, only a few clothes, and lived in a single room, round mud hut with a table, chair and a bed as furniture. I was the happiest guy in the world! Why? Practically everyone else around lived just as I did. Fast forward to a year and a few months later, I was back in the city and I seemed like the only guy my age God wasn’t blessing. Why? It seemed everyone I knew before I travelled had bought cars, were living in the city and were better off. I lived totally out of ‘town’ in a far off adjourning town to the city, couldn’t afford a bicycle and had furniture that was more than twenty years old. I compared myself with those around me, and I was far from the centre with little hope of measuring up soon. If you are really serious about being happy, be grateful for where you are presently, and do not even in your dreams compare yourself with anyone. Sadly, even those you feel are better than you still find someone else who they think is better than they are. Even if that person is living in Mars.

iii. They live in love

Self centeredness is one of the shortest cuts into the unhappiness pit. Simple livers are more concerned about how to make others happy. They realize that you can’t truly reach the ultimate of happiness when you strive to satisfy yourself in all you do. The Jewish King Solomon tried to gain happiness by acquiring all he could, both material and human, yet he was wise enough to admit that that wasn’t enough. According to him, he didn’t deny himself anything, but he summed it all up in his famous words; ‘vanity upon vanity’. His story would have been different if he concerned himself more with making his people happier, just as he intended from the beginning. Simple livers live in love.

4. GIVE MORE.
Advertisers all over the world go to great lengths to assure us that we would be a lot happier if we spend that little extra to acquire what they are offering us. Whether they are selling a loaf of bread or the latest model automobile, they present us smiling faces of people who are already using those products, so we think, ‘If I can get this, I too will smile and be happy’. Sometimes, our lack and wants also deal so much with us that we feel we would be a lot happier if we got those new clothes, that new house in that neighbourhood, those extra zeros in the amount of money in our accounts, that new position and title. It’s actually the other way round. You are happier when you give more, serve more, help more and care more.

There’s an inexplicable peace and satisfaction that comes with giving, especially when you’ve given all or next to all you’ve got. When we do things that make others smile, their smiles reflect back into our hearts. Giving can be as simple as helping a little one with his homework, offering to help a sick friend copy her notes in school, calling a friend who just lost his grandma, calling the attention of someone who mistakenly dropped her money, or as complex as paying someone’s hospital bills, school fees, giving someone money to start a business, or even allowing a stranger to live in your home. The truth is, giving more actually gives you more.

5. EXPECT LESS
There aren’t much truer words than these. Our level of satisfaction in any activity is directly proportional to the level of expectation we have.


This isn’t saying we shouldn’t task people to achieve more. We simply shouldn’t put undue pressure on them to satisfy our own expectations. Let them feel comfortable in their own skin, not in yours.

I had a classmate back in secondary school who would miss only one answer out of 20 questions but would literally burst into tears when she got her marked script. That was one of the most puzzling sights my 12 year old eyes beheld. We were all sick of her to high heavens especially when most people in class would do anything to score nearly as high as she did. She finally gathered up the nerve to explain her penchant for crying at high grades to us one day. She dazed us all even more by telling us that her parents would spank her for missing even one mark in her test scores because she was repeating the class (from a different school) and they expected her to score 20 out of 20 in all tests since according to them, she was repeating them. How weird? She cried always and had an almost perpetual sad face because she expected more from herself than she got.

When you expect a wealthy uncle to sponsor your holiday abroad because you came out top of your class, but instead he simply calls you to tell you how proud he is of you and encourages you to remain the best, he has practically ruined your holiday. You seldom get disappointed with people when you don’t have high expectations of them in the first place. No matter how hard people try to act like they are perfect, they can’t help it. They aren’t perfect and may never be. Clergymen and women, politicians, celebrities and our most adored parents try hard to paint perfect lives to young ones, who follow them, but sometimes they come up close and see their weaknesses, and all hell is let loose. Some celebrities receive hate messages and get attacked by fans who they have ‘disappointed’. They expected more and got less.

When you see people as good but with weaknesses, just as you, you get less disappointed and less hurt, when they sometimes display those weaknesses.

Okay, I really find it difficult to forgive tho'.

Here is the Golden rule

Don't do unto others that which you wouldn't have them do to you.

It's called "tit for tat" scratch me I bend you lmao!

In diplomacy and international politics, we call it MAD (Mutually, assured, destruction)

This is why countries like the U.S and N.A.T.O stockpile nuclear ammo.

So OP you can't be preaching forgiveness while millions of people around the world gets trampled upon like dust on the ground.

The only thing that would make me happy is when I see Justice prevail.