It was with great delight I watched a young handsome energetic boy child play for a good part of the 2hour mass(church) I attended this morning.

Looking around I realised I was not alone in the lookry business. He indeed has got the smiles that made participating actively in the mass celebration a distant 2nd option. Forgive me Lord.

The boy quickly picked out playmates, integrated well with them and wouldn't wanna go back to his parents that kept calling him to return to them.

Suddenly, the boy's smiles quickly turned to tears. He desired the toy another child was having, went after it, soon, a little fight broke out between the toy owner and him and the boy got a spank from the other child's mother who apparently has lept in defence of her child.

I remember Jean Piaget, a foremost psychologist taught that at 2-7years, a child is egocentric. The child at this stage is unable to see situation from another person point of view.

This incident typified the little boy's behaviour and as such shouldn't get such treatment from anybody for that matter much less who is not his parent.

Why won't that "so called mother" (defender) just take her "golden" child away from that situation in other to protect her? Why spank off the ebullience in that little boy?

How will you react when such treatment or similar treatment is meted-out to your child?

What justification has that mother that spanked that little boy? Was there any?

Onye mee ya nwa m, mmee ya alu.

Have your say.....

Lalasticlala, let people see, answer and learn to save some people from arrest and retribution.

What happened after the defender spanked him? Did he go back to his parents that he ignored the while time?

if am the one I will take the toy away from two of them, bring them close and pet them or maybe find something else to either give them or share between them (like snacks) in order for them not to cause a scene. beating the other child is not the best thing to do as it will somehow create enmity between the two mothers especially if the other boy's mum is seeing what is happening.

As a mother sometimes there are times that beating another woman's child is morally justified but not in this scenario. She has no right whatsoever.

If am the woman whose child was beating or spanked.. I won't do anything considering the fact that we are inside the church (even though I will be boiling inside). My only option will be to go and carry my baby, pet him and take him away from the scene. Next sunday, I will make sure I come with one of his toys, a snacks to keep him busy, a small children's chair for him and most importantly I won't allow him get too far away from where my hands will reach to draw him back if he wants to make a move. Because a second occurrence may not be too good for the ear.

Tallesty1:
What happened after the defender spanked him? Did he go back to his parents that he ignored the while time?

He stood there, cried and looked in the direction of his parents who at the same time had rushed to retrieve him.

Foolishness on the part of the boy's parents. Your child is running up and down in church, distracting everyone and you let him. Then he wants another child's toy and rather than you step up and teach your son how to politely ask for the toy (we taught all the kids in our family "please" and if they don't give you, let go), you let him get into a fight. And you are there forming angry because another parent did YOUR job and put your kid in place?



If you don't want someone else to parent your child, you better do so.

I took my baby to the clinic and another mother was there with an older child. That one walked up to our diaper bag and picked out the toy my child puts in her mouth, to play with and rub on the dusty floor. The other child's mum just sat down and ignored as if it was her child's right to take whatever she wanted. If I was a slapping mother, someone for chop slap that day. And I truly should have taken the toy back and loudly said "if you take things without asking, people will accuse you of stealing", so that mother will get up and parent her child. When my baby starts trying to grab other people's stuff, I pull her away or apologise to the person. I shouldn't take their understanding that she's just a baby for granted, its upto me to show good manners as well.

U and others wey see the reaction of the defender, why una no let her know say wetin she do dey wrong. Cos she go definitely do am to another child again

jnrbayano:
It was with great delight I watched a young handsome energetic boy child play for a good part of the 2hour mass(church) I attended this morning.

Looking around I realised I was not alone in the lookry business. He indeed has got the smiles that made participating actively in the mass celebration a distant 2nd option. Forgive me Lord.

The boy quickly picked out playmates, integrated well with them and wouldn't wanna go back to his parents that kept calling him to return to them.

Suddenly, the boy's smiles quickly turned to tears. He desired the toy another child was having, went after it, soon, a little fight broke out between the toy owner and him and the boy got a spank from the other child's mother who apparently has lept in defence of her child.

I remember Jean Piaget, a foremost psychologist taught that at 2-7years, a child is egocentric. The child at this stage is unable to see situation from another person point of view.

This incident typified the little boy's behaviour and as such shouldn't get such treatment from anybody for that matter much less who is not his parent.

Why won't that "so called mother" (defender) just take her "golden" child away from that situation in other to protect her? Why spank off the ebullience in that little boy?

How will you react when such treatment or similar treatment is meted-out to your child?

What justification has that mother that spanked that little boy? Is there any?

Onye mee ya nwa m, mmee ya alu.

Have your say.....

Lalasticlala, let people see, answer and learn to save some people from arrest and retribution.

@bolded, wrong pls.
Yes the child is at that stage but it behoves on the parent to correct the child so as to mould his or her character to view things from other people's point of view. It may be done either via corporal or cooperative correctioning depending on what part of the divide your belief falls in. Otherwise the child remains in this stage and grows up to be selfish or a sociopath. Even the cartoons and children's programs they show nowadays attempt to teach little children to share toys and play in a productive manner. If you don't teach them they won't learn.

Your grouse should rather be wether it was proper for the mother of the other child to spank the boy or wetuer his own mother should have corrected him. But someone should correct him nonetheless.

Onegai:
Foolishness on the part of the boy's parents. Your child is running up and down in church, distracting everyone and you let him. Then he wants another child's toy and rather than you step up and teach your son how to politely ask for the toy (we taught all the kids in our family "please" and if they don't give you, let go), you let him get into a fight. And you are there forming angry because another parent did YOUR job and put your kid in place?



If you don't want someone else to parent your child, you better do so.

I took my baby to the clinic and another mother was there with an older child. That one walked up to our diaper bag and picked out the toy my child puts in her mouth, to play with and rub on the dusty floor. The other child's just sat down and ignored as if it was her child's right to take whatever she wanted. If I was a slapping mother, someone for chop slap that day. And I truly should have taken the toy back and loudly said "if you take things without asking, people will accuse you of stealing", so that mother will get up and parent her child.

But you didn't , did you?
You actually should have done so, it would have corrected the parents (most parents don't know any better about raising kids) and also cautioned them against a next occurrence with another kid.

It is a pity we no longer believe in the social upbringing of the child anymore. In our particular society it would have been very advantageous in teaching children respect for authority and elders and also helped imbibe responsibility in them. Sadly we would rather copy western society in this regard and get the same results of recalcitrance they are getting.

RiloKiley:

But you didn't , did you?
You actually should have done so, it would have corrected the parents (most parents don't know any better about raising kids) and also cautioned them against a next occurrence with another kid.

It is a pity we no longer believe in the social upbringing of the child anymore. In our particular society it would have been very advantageous in teaching children respect for authority and elders and also helped imbibe responsibility in them. Sadly we would rather copy western society in this regard and get the same results of recalcitrance they are getting.

I kept giving her eye to do the needful but she turned her face away. I should have, because I was pissed: the toy was one of those fabric stuff that can't easily be washed. Everyone was forming polite and classy that day i guess. But the nursing staff there don't take nonsense: they will parent your child for you (even if you have just paid a bill of N59, 000 before their eyes). But now, I know better. Make her pikin try it again, mama's ears are gonna be burning in shame when I'm done.

I miss the community bringing up a child. I know I benefited from it. I'll never forget coming home from uni, I wore some tight white top with a plunging v-neck out and draped a shawl around me negligently. I had just come back from the U.S. and truly the world was at my feet. At Ojuelegba I was walking to the car and one of those elderly guys who pushes those big dirt carts howled at me "cover yasef up! ". Sharply I did and never wore that top again and I had worn the top from school, so when I told my mum, she said "serves you right and who bought you that top sef "

if it's nowadays, they will say that the man is jealous and suffering from poverty.

Onegai:
Foolishness on the part of the boy's parents. Your child is running up and down in church, distracting everyone and you let him. Then he wants another child's toy and rather than you step up and teach your son how to politely ask for the toy (we taught all the kids in our family "please" and if they don't give you, let go), you let him get into a fight. And you are there forming angry because another parent did YOUR job and put your kid in place?



If you don't want someone else to parent your child, you better do so.

I took my baby to the clinic and another mother was there with an older child. That one walked up to our diaper bag and picked out the toy my child puts in her mouth, to play with and rub on the dusty floor. The other child's mum just sat down and ignored as if it was her child's right to take whatever she wanted. If I was a slapping mother, someone for chop slap that day. And I truly should have taken the toy back and loudly said "if you take things without asking, people will accuse you of stealing", so that mother will get up and parent her child. When my baby starts trying to grab other people's stuff, I pull her away or apologise to the person. I shouldn't take their understanding that she's just a baby for granted, its upto me to show good manners as well.

The Op describing the little boy as energetic and ebulluent never suggests other kids weren't playing as well.

What is foolishness on the boy's parents part for allowing their 2year old child have some fresh air?

Did the Op say he was distracting people in church? The Op rather described the little boy's handsomeness and energy which is joy to see.

A good mother wouldn't raise a hand on a toddler for dragging a toy with another, would rather withdraw that object of attraction and the child.

loomer:
U and others wey see the reaction of the defender, why una no let her know say wetin she do dey wrong. Cos she go definitely do am to another child again

It was inside the church. People were stunned by the way she spanked that boy.

I believe if it were not to be inside the church, she for hear am.

RiloKiley:

@bolded, wrong pls.
Yes the child is at that stage but it behoves on the parent to correct the child so as to mould his or her character to view things from other people's point of view. It may be done either via corporal or cooperative correctioning depending on what part of the divide your belief falls in. Otherwise the child remains in this stage and grows up to be selfish or a sociopath. Even the cartoons and children's programs they show nowadays attempt to teach little children to share toys and play in a productive manner. If you don't teach them they won't learn.

Your grouse should rather be wether it was proper for the mother of the other child to spank the boy or wetuer his own mother should have corrected him. But someone should correct him nonetheless.

What you emboldened from the Op is not wrong as you summarily put it.

That child is a toddler and to a great extent must be allowed to make some mistakes brought about by nature.

Nuture must never override nature.

jnrbayano:


What you emboldened from the Op is not wrong as you summarily put it.

That child is a toddler and to a great extent must be allowed to make some mistakes brought about by nature.

Nuture must never override nature.

Lol
And how will the child know its a mistake if u don't correct him?

jnrbayano:


The Op describing the little boy as energetic and ebulluent never suggests other kids weren't playing as well.

What is foolishness on the boy's parents part for allowing their 2year old child have some fresh air?

Did the Op say he was distracting people in church? The Op rather described the little boy's handsomeness and energy which is joy to see.

A good mother wouldn't raise a hand on a toddler for dragging a toy with another, would rather withdraw that object of attraction and the child.

By removing the toy, you've taught nothing. By telling the boy "stop and say please may I borrow your toy/play small with your toy", you've taught a lot. Good mothers teach meaningful lessons, bad parents teach nothing.

Should the other mother have spanked another person's child? Maybe not, but should that boy's parents have gotten up to collect their child when they saw an argument starting? Yes.

I know a little boy like this too, big, cute but ebullient and his mother defended everything. When his school called her to say he got into a fight and other kids didn't want to play with him and parents complained he was rough and worse, most refused to show up for his birthday party, was she not ashamed?

RiloKiley:

Lol
And how will the child know its a mistake if u don't correct him?

Never said his behaviour shouldn't get molded by correcting him whenever he "errs".

It isn't right to view behaviours of adult and children through the same lens.

That mother who spanked him misjudged the situation.

Onegai:


By removing the toy, you've taught nothing. By telling the boy "stop and say please may I borrow your toy/play small with your toy", you've taught a lot. Good mothers teach meaningful lessons, bad parents teach nothing.

Should the other mother have spanked another person's child? Maybe not, but should that boy's parents have gotten up to collect their child when they saw an argument starting? Yes.

Lessons must be taught, this is never in doubt.

But how?

Rush to spank another child for doing what exactly? Murder?

And yes, it was in the children's mass.

jnrbayano:


Never said his behaviour shouldn't get molded by correcting him whenever he "errs".

It isn't right to view behaviours of adult and children through the same lens.

That mother who spanked him misjudged the situation.

So u agree the child should have been corrected then. Your problem is with how the correction took place. But that is what I said in my first response. We r going round in circles.

I think op is just upset that the "fine" "handsome" boy that was giving him joy in mass was well and brutally wallopped

jnrbayano:


It was inside the church. People were stunned by the way she spanked that boy.

I believe if it were not to be inside the church, she for hear am.

Inside church or inside mosque, we should learn to condemn what's wrong, na only God go punish that kind mother wey go spank another child for public here, cos the jail time go long.

RiloKiley:

So u agree the child should have been corrected then. Your problem is with how the correction took place. But that is what I said in my first response. We r going round in circles.

I think op is just upset that the "fine" "handsome" boy that was giving him joy in mass was well and brutally wallopped

Any individual who snaps out happiness/liveliness from a toddler for the flimsiest of reasons is a Shilock.

That's my annoyance. Every onlooker felt same too.

Onegai:
Foolishness on the part of the boy's parents. Your child is running up and down in church, distracting everyone and you let him. Then he wants another child's toy and rather than you step up and teach your son how to politely ask for the toy (we taught all the kids in our family "please" and if they don't give you, let go), you let him get into a fight. And you are there forming angry because another parent did YOUR job and put your kid in place?



If you don't want someone else to parent your child, you better do so.

I took my baby to the clinic and another mother was there with an older child. That one walked up to our diaper bag and picked out the toy my child puts in her mouth, to play with and rub on the dusty floor. The other child's mum just sat down and ignored as if it was her child's right to take whatever she wanted. If I was a slapping mother, someone for chop slap that day. And I truly should have taken the toy back and loudly said "if you take things without asking, people will accuse you of stealing", so that mother will get up and parent her child. When my baby starts trying to grab other people's stuff, I pull her away or apologise to the person. I shouldn't take their understanding that she's just a baby for granted, its upto me to show good manners as well.

I understand you perfectly, but you will agree with me that sometimes kids of that age prefer to go around when the service is going on or if they are in a particular place. No matter how you quietly scold, spank or try to keep him or her to be quiet he/she will not and if you even try harder some will shout at the top of their voice leaving you with no option than to leave him and when they start crying that is a distraction not just to you the mother but to people sitting close to you and then you will resort to keeping an eye on him. Some kids are naturally quiet and some are not. The ones that are quiet sleeps or stays with their mum all through the service time and for the others they choose to pace around till when they are probably tired or cries for something.

As for the woman that left her child to take your baby's toy she is just like the one that slapped the little boy because women like that will allow their child to get anything they lay their hands on not minding who owns that but then they will not allow another child to take their baby's own without giving the baby a spank or something.

Spank someone else's child?? And in public?? Men, if that happened over here, that bïtch will go down for it big time. What nonsense? Who is she? Irrespective of what the toddler might have done to her, she had no right! How dare she?

First of all, most Catholic Churches over here have got a mother & baby section / cry baby area for parents with little ones. This is to ensure such parents also have access to mass like everyone else while their noisy tots are kept away from disrupting the service.

Secondly, the ushers should have directed the parent(s) of the exuberant toddler to the baby room, or asked them to take their child outside till he'd calmed down. This is what the ignorant mother should have done in the first place. Or positioned him in such a way that he couldn't run off. When we go to mass, my then 3 year old daughter would do the same but her brothers always sat at the edge of the pew so she had little chance of escaping. I also used to strike a bargain with her, "mummy won't give you any money to put in the collection box if you don't sit still..." Used to work a treat - for 5 mins.

Alternatively, (if I don't forget while rushing to get to church on time), bringing along her colouring book and crayons keeps her distracted. And that's the key to keeping toddlers in check - distracting them. I soooooooo much dislike hearing NIGERIAN parents yell & scream blue murder at their little ones. Got one screaming her head off behind me, at her son a few days ago while I was out and about with my daughter and her older brother. So irritating. Couldn't seem to walk fast enough away from her yodelling. Smh.

Thirdly, there was absolutely no need for the defender to lash out at the child. A stern look followed by a "go back to your mum" should have done the trick. It has for me. And if that doesn't work, then she should have stood up, turned to the boys mother and in a very loud voice said, Excuse me, can you take your son away? He's being very disruptive over here!"

That should have done the trick. I.e publicly embarrass the silly mother AND get the sleeping ushers / church wardens' attention.

EfemenaXY:
Spank someone else's child?? And in public?? Men, if that happened over here, that bïtch will go down for it big time. What nonsense? Who is she? Irrespective of what the toddler might have done to her, she had no right! How dare she?

First of all, most Catholic Churches over here have got a mother & baby section / cry baby area for parents with little ones. This is to ensure such parents also have access to mass like everyone else while their noisy tots are kept away from disrupting the service.

Secondly, the ushers should have directed the parent(s) of the exuberant toddler to the baby room, or asked them to take their child outside till he'd calmed down. This is what the ignorant mother should have done in the first place. Or positioned him in such a way that he couldn't run off. When we go to mass, my then 3 year old daughter would do the same but her brothers always sat at the edge of the pew so she had little chance of escaping. I also used to strike a bargain with her, "mummy won't give you any money to put in the collection box if you don't sit still..." Used to work a treat - for 5 mins.

Alternatively, (if I don't forget while rushing to get to church on time), bringing along her colouring book and crayons keeps her distracted. And that's the key to keeping toddlers in check - distracting them. I soooooooo much dislike hearing NIGERIAN parents yell & scream blue murder at their little ones. Got one screaming her head off behind me, at her son a few days ago while I was out and about with my daughter and her older brother. So irritating. Couldn't seem to walk fast enough away from her yodelling. Smh.

Thirdly, there was absolutely no need for the defender to lash out at the child. A stern look followed by a "go back to your mum" should have done the trick. It has for me. And if that doesn't work, then she should have stood up, turned to the boys mother and in a very loud voice said, Excuse me, can you take your son away? He's being very disruptive over here!"

That should have done the trick. I.e publicly embarrass the silly mother AND get the sleeping ushers / church wardens' attention.

A very good submission.

Jennydoris:



I understand you perfectly, but you will agree with me that sometimes kids of that age prefer to go around when the service is going on or if they are in a particular place. No matter how you quietly scold, spank or try to keep him or her to be quiet he/she will not and if you even try harder some will shout at the top of their voice leaving you with no option than to leave him and when they start crying that is a distraction not just to you the mother but to people sitting close to you and then you will resort to keeping an eye on him. Some kids are naturally quiet and some are not. The ones that are quiet sleeps or stays with their mum all through the service time and for the others they choose to pace around till when they are probably tired or cries for something.

As for the woman that left her child to take your baby's toy she is just like the one that slapped the little boy because women like that will allow their child to get anything they lay their hands on not minding who owns that but then they will not allow another child to take their baby's own without giving the baby a spank or something.

I see you jare

jnrbayano:

I see you jare

I sight you bro.