Hello everyone.
I'm at cross roads at this..
I literally have a big heart. I just can't stand seeing any of my family member suffer. I can divide my pay package into half just to satisfy my family, because I hate seeing them suffer.
I am pretty financially comfortable, but also late, my family members have made me have a rethink on this issue.
They make it seem as if it's their right to ask anything, and it's my obligation to provide anything they ask.
Sometimes, I'll purposely tell them I don't have and they'll say all sorts of disgusting things.
My people, I really need advice as this is driving me crazy

.

You know them more than we do, keep trying ur best. Everyone has his/her own family issue.

murphyrichy:
You know them more than we do, keep trying ur best. Everyone has his/her own family issue.

they make it seem it's their right. Yes iknow it's their right, but I see it as taking advantage of me

taylor88:
Some get shoes but them no get leg


Do u know ever from birth I've never had any younger or elder bro to use my outdated properties cos it's just one me, can u imagine the pain


Do u know that i had no one to call me brother i need dis or that, now u know what am missing


Do u know that whatever i drops in my room remains that same position till i return even in 10yrs time,


Oh how i wish i had a brother


My point... OP it's normal just talk to them as long as they don't steal from u or outsiders, i hope they'll understand and reason with u


Cheers

This is out of context...... sorry to say.

dollyjoy:
This is out of context...... sorry to say.

Mention me again and sango will do the needful

Nkapi

taylor88:
Some get shoes but them no get leg


Do u know ever from birth I've never had any younger or elder bro to use my outdated properties cos it's just one me, can u imagine the pain


Do u know that i had no one to call me brother i need dis or that, now u know what am missing


Do u know that whatever i drops in my room remains that same position till i return even in 10yrs time,


My point... OP it's normal just talk to them as long as they don't steal from u or outsiders, i hope they'll understand and reason with u


Cheers

Really touching.
Thanks for your input

Fidelmalek:
Hello everyone.
I'm at cross roads at this..
I literally have a big heart. I just can't stand seeing any of my family member suffer. I can divide my pay package into half just to satisfy my family, because I hate seeing them suffer.
I am pretty financially comfortable, but also late, my family members have made me have a rethink on this issue.
They make it seem as if it's their right to ask anything, and it's my obligation to provide anything they ask.
Sometimes, I'll purposely tell them I don't have and they'll say all sorts of disgusting things.
My people, I really need advice as this is driving me crazy

Do we have d dead on NL?

What to do? Just let them realise you are not obliged to satisfy all their needs.

RadicallyBlunt:

Do we have d dead on NL?

it was a typo

you have started what you obviously can not finish. Nigerians have self entitlement mentality. once you are family, they believe they have right to your possession. I have been there. I have lent my brother money severally in the past but he won't refund, and he will still have the gut to keep asking for more. I was giving until one day I wise up. you will have have to stand your ground , learn to say no and close your ears against whatever they spew from their mouths. this same people will call you foolish tomorrow if the table turns. I am not saying you shouldn't assist, assist only when there is a real cause to do so and don't become Santa clause to every dick tom and harry all so because you are related.

Fidelmalek:
Hello everyone.
I'm at cross roads at this..
I literally have a big heart. I just can't stand seeing any of my family member suffer. I can divide my pay package into half just to satisfy my family, because I hate seeing them suffer.
I am pretty financially comfortable, but also late, my family members have made me have a rethink on this issue.
They make it seem as if it's their right to ask anything, and it's my obligation to provide anything they ask.
Sometimes, I'll purposely tell them I don't have and they'll say all sorts of disgusting things.
My people, I really need advice as this is driving me crazy

At bolded is the point where you need to be stern with them. Say no. Mean no. Don't listen to their insults. In fact, whoever insults you today cos you say no should get a continuous no from you henceforth. Whew! What an entitled set of peeps you have as family.

Noticed how family members who aren't financial leeches bond better? Yeah, don't stress me I love you tinz

sisisioge:


At bolded is the point where you need to be stern with them. Say no. Mean no. Don't listen to their insults. In fact, whoever insults you today cos you say no should get a continuous no from you henceforth. Whew! What an entitled set of peeps you have as family.

Noticed how family members who aren't financial leeches bond better? Yeah, don't stress me I love you tinz

thanks ma'am

enabledgoddess:
you have started what you obviously can not finish. Nigerians have self entitlement mentality. once you are family, they believe they have right to your possession. I have been there. I have lent my brother money severally in the past but he won't refund, and he will still have the gut to keep asking for more. I was giving until one day I wise up. you will have have to stand your ground , learn to say no and close your ears against whatever they spew from their mouths. this same people will call you foolish tomorrow if the table turns. I am not saying you shouldn't assist, assist only when there is a real cause to do so and don't become Santa clause to every dick tom and harry all so because you are related.

thanks ma'am

Don't do more than your power. If an inheritance was left for you guys by your parents or grandparents, with you in charge of it, that's a different matter. If however its not a joint inheritance and the money is from the work of your hands, you need to be prudent on how you sepend it and start planning for your future. If you want to dedicate 5% of your earnings to help your relatives, that's fine.
Don't let anyone blackmail you.
Learn to say no.
You need to plan for your future also.

Its good to help ur family especially when u have it, but when they want to take it for granted or make it seem like its a must then i just bring out my unreasonable sef. Am the first by the way and have learnt some younger ones rely on u financially and once they are good to go and start making money then they hoard theirs when u want help. Families are our back bone but can also be a pain in the hip if u are not watchful. So save for ur own rainining days too.

Fidelmalek:
they make it seem it's their right. Yes iknow it's their right, but I see it as taking advantage of me

It is not their right. Make sure you plan for your future, so that your future kids won’t be dependent on one of your kids.

sisisioge:


At bolded is the point where you need to be stern with them. Say no. Mean no. Don't listen to their insults. In fact, whoever insults you today cos you say no should get a continuous no from you henceforth. Whew! What an entitled set of peeps you have as family.

Noticed how family members who aren't financial leeches bond better? Yeah, don't stress me I love you tinz

Nothing to add. Op, this... Put your foot down but with great wisdom.