This page is manually generated as what Nairaland users might like.
NB: They were copied from the joke section of iPink Forum.

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It shall be updated always .. Now, let go!

That awkward moment when you fart in class and you pretend it isn't you, but everyone is looking at you

That awkward moment when you think your crush is waving at you but they're really waving at someone else

That awkward moment on facebook when you like your frenemy’s post by mistake.

The awkward moment when a dead friend goes online on Whatsapp chat.

The awkward moment when you retweet the wrong tweet ”

After picking her son up from school one day,
the mother asks him what he did at school.
The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher."
She gets so mad that when they get home, she
orders him to go straight to his room. When the
father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had
done. As the father hears the news, a huge
grin spreads across his face. He walks to his
son's room and asks him what happened at
school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my
teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him
with the bike he has been asking for. On the
way to the store, the dad asks his son if he
would like to ride his new bike home. His son
responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, "What the f*ck are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

A lady comes home from her doctor's
appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her
husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The
wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-
five year old woman, I have the breasts of a
eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-
five year old ass?" She said, "Your name
never came up in the conversation."

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

During an impassioned sermon about death
and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully,
"Each member of this church is going to die
and face judgement." Glancing down at the
front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on
his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going
to die and face judgement!" The man nodded
and smiled even more. This really got the
preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit
emphatically when he came to the ultimatum:
"Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!" Though everyone else
in the congregation was looking somber, the
man in front continued to smile. Finally the
preacher stepped off the platform, stood in
front of the man and shouted, "I said each
member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service
was over, the preacher made a beeline for the
man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in
frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member
of this church is going to die,' your smile got
bigger. Why?" "I'm not a member of this church," the man replied.

Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

Nice jokes, keep 'em coming

What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."

A GIRL'S FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES:-
"Wow I just found the love of my life...Nothing
will ever stop me from loving my man♥."
.
,, ,,
. ,14 DAYS LATER:- "Never make sum1 a priority when u're just
an option to
them..!"
.
,, ,, .
2 DAYS LATER:- "I HATE love so much!"
.
,, ,,
. 3 DAYS LATER.
"I'm happy to remain single and I will never
fall in love again."
.
,, ,, .
5 DAYS LATER:-
"I'm looking for a man to love and treat me
right." .
,, ,, .
15 DAYS LATER:-
"When u deeply fall in love with a right
person, u realise
why it didn't work with anybody else but him. I love my guy so much....mmmuaaa h. " .
,, ,,
.
8 DAYS LATER:-
"smh..!! All men are the same!!!!!"

A Funny Conversation Between A Man And
His Daughter.
The Girl said: Dad, I’m in love with a boy
who is far away from me. I am here in
Nigeria and he lives in London. We met on a
dating website, became friends on facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, he
proposed to me on skype, and now we’ve
had 2 months of relationship through Viber.
I need your blessings and good wishes,
daddy.
Her Dad replied: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy
your kids on e-bay, receive them through
gmail. And if you are fed up with your
husband sell him on OLX

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a
perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect
wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car
(a Grand Caravan)
along a winding road, when they noticed
someone at the side of the road in distress.
Being the perfect couple, they stopped to
help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint
any children on the eve of Christmas, the
perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys
into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along, delivering
toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and
Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
The mind numbing question is:
Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the
answer. .
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The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and
there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here.
That is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling. . .
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa
Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a
car accident.

#1. Ugly girls will tag 95 people in a pic and still
get 2 likes, Probably from her family members.
#2. When a group of girls wanna take a
pic,they hand over the camera to her..if you're
that girl, then you're ugly.
#3. If no guy has ever paid your transport fare in a public bus,then you have to do something
about your looks..
#4. Whenever there is drama rehearsals in
your church, they always select you to play
the role of a witch, vampire or demon.
#5. Most girls with sweet names on fb like "mo" cute","pink Berry","Sexy Diva Queen","Nicky"
are usually very ugly
#6. Ugly girls won't even like this post cause
they are angry with me right now for exposing
them.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding
anniversary. His wife was really angry. She
told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6
seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The
next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the
window and sure enough there was a box gift-
wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out
to the driveway, brought the box back in the
house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since
Friday.

A couple are rushing into the hospital because
the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a
doctor says to them that he has invented a
machine that splits the pain between the
mother and father. They agree to it and are led
into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split
towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's
actually better." The husband says he can't
feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50%
and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as
much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it
up to 100%. The husband still can't feel
anything, and the wife is really happy, because
there is now no pain for her. The baby is born.
The couple go home and find the postman
groaning in pain on the doorstep.

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks
the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are
there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well,
son, a woman goes through three phases. In
her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50,
they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks.
“Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The
daughter asks, “Mom, how many different
kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through
three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an
oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s,
it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his
50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas
tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

thrash

iPINKER:
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

this

iPINKER:
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

this