He is a timewaster.

Moving on.

My first true love. I loved her to death. We broke up four major times. Realized she was a time waster.. Now I am stuck with someone who I don't adore but what the heck she loves me crazy.

Mindfulness:

Smart observation

I guess I have my moments

Timbuktou:


I guess I have my moments

Many.

Timbuktou:

I guess I have my moments

what moment?

Mindfulness:


Many.

Hehehe

craziebone:


such people most times are not into relationships of any kind for children. They have other ways of getting children.

Emmm bros....

Why would someone love you so much, want to be with you bla bla and not just get married to you?

I understand a man who just needs a bed mate with no strings not get married. In fact for such a man, marriage is a shackle to the kind of life he wants to pursue. Such a man if he requires kids can get a surrogate/baby mama/adopt.

What I do not understand is why a man loves a certain woman so much yet he doesn't want to be married to her.

What sort of relationship does he want to build with her that marriage will be a stumbling block to?

What stops them from living however they want to after the marriage? What stops them from getting kids the way they want after marriage?

I would be very wary of a man who claims to love me and me alone and not want marriage.

And I very much agree with you that a marriage proposal is not sure guarantee that a man loves his intended.

bukatyne:


Emmm bros....

Why would someone love you so much, want to be with you bla bla and not just get married to you?

I understand a man who just needs a bed mate with no strings not get married. In fact for such a man, marriage is a shackle to the kind of life he wants to pursue. Such a man if he requires kids can get a surrogate/baby mama/adopt.

What I do not understand is why a man loves a certain woman so much yet he doesn't want to be married to her.

What sort of relationship does he want to build with her that marriage will be a stumbling block to?

What stops them from living however they want to after the marriage? What stops them from getting kids the way they want after marriage?

I would be very wary of a man who claims to love me and me alone and not want marriage.

And I very much agree with you that a marriage proposal is not sure guarantee that a man loves his intended.

did you read my post in response to @slyIsaac on page zero? You may want to go and read that post again to know why some people may find the mention of marriage a turn off.

@bukatyne, i have known you to be one of the most foremost feminists here. And the idea that a woman not wanting to get married but would still want a good relationship, is not something that you would find inconcievable. Why are you finding it difficult to concieve that a man could also may not want marriage but a good relationship too? And that that man is not a player?

There are women who would not want marriage but a good relationship. The woman may have seen terrible things done to her mother when her mother was married and she may grow up to see marriage as a way for men to legitimately imprison women. When such a lady comes forth and says she doesn't want marriage, i personally can understand it. And i do not think she is truely anti marriage, i believe when she get a man, and that man is not just interested about her body or want to subject her to any form of abuse, i believe after dating that man for over 10 years or more, and the man ends up being the exact opposite of what she thought men are, she would eventually accept a marriage proposal from such a faithful man even after 10 years or more of dating. All she subconciously wants and needs is a lover who teaches her a different side to men and marriage. I guess @Timbuktou was right afterall; a woman not wanting marriage is liberated but a man not wanting the same, is time waster and can only be a womanizer.

But let me ask you @bukatyne. If there were no such thing as marriage, would you still be with your partner?

@sagamite, what do you think about this?

Yet when we say na women desire marriage pass dem go dey argue am

craziebone:


did you read my post in response to @slyIsaac on page zero? You may want to go and read that post again to know why some people may find the mention of marriage a turn off.

OK

craziebone:
@bukatyne, i have known you to be one of the most foremost feminists here. And the idea that a woman not wanting to get married but would still want a good relationship, is not something that you would find inconcievable. Why are you finding it difficult to concieve that a man could also may not want marriage but a good relationship too? And that that man is not a player?

craziebone and feminism...

First, happy Easter in arrears; hope you rested well.

Careful here, you have started imagining what I find inconceivable & concieveable for men & women... You bi mind reader?

Perhaps you should take your polls to the real world. How many men (let's forget women now) would love a woman so much, want to be with her alone and NOT get married to her?

What is the 'marriage' (infact, the word is wedding) a stumbling block to? How does it affect the relationship?

craziebone:
There are women who would not want marriage but a good relationship. The woman may have seen terrible things done to her mother when her mother was married and she may grow up to see marriage as a way for men to legitimately imprison women. When such a lady comes forth and says she doesn't want marriage, i personally can understand it. And i do not think she is truely anti marriage, i believe when she get a man, and that man is not just interested about her body or want to subject her to any form of abuse, i believe after dating that man for over 10 years or more, and the man ends up being the exact opposite of what she thought men are, she would eventually accept a marriage proposal from such a faithful man even after 10 years or more of dating. All she subconciously wants and needs is a lover who teaches her a different side to men and marriage.

Well, I wouldn't blame her; I believe the fraud of courtship & marriage we have around today ( which is basically human nature) else what ideally is the difference between courtship and marriage apart from the ceremony and sex (for moral folks)?

If a man is good in courtship, what should change in marriage? Ideally?

craziebone:
I guess @Tim.bukt.ou was right afterall; a woman not wanting marriage is liberated but a man not wanting the same, is time waster and can only be a womanizer.

Well, when you have pre-conceived notions, it prevents you from getting the message the other party is passing across.

I cannot recall anywhere a woman who doesn't want marriage is liberated and marriage is not the only relationship a woman is abused.

Infact, a cousin of mine met a female time waster once and yes, some women are time wasters and 'manizers' which I do not pray a man mets too.

craziebone:
But let me ask you @bukatyne. If there were no such thing as marriage, would you still be with your partner?

Yes.

raumdeuter:
Yet when we say na women desire marriage pass dem go dey argue am

I know you are married and male.

The question is...

Is it possible for you to love a girl so much yet you do not want to marry her? (You are not interested in playing the field; you love only this babe)

bukatyne:
I know you are married and male.

The question is...

Is it possible for you to love a girl so much yet you do not want to marry her? (You are not interested in playing the field; you love only this babe)

Yes. For some people Marriage complicate things. There have been people who dated for 10yrs but got married and divorced within months

Some would argue that what does an additional certificate add to their current relationship? Would marriage stop anyone from playing the field or not?

Most male would marry because its what the female want. Left to them they can continue living together and building a family without the additional hassle of tagging it a marriage

raumdeuter:


Yes. For some people Marriage complicate things. There have been people who dated for 10yrs but got married and divorced within months

Well, they played for 10 years....

When a student roams about the campus for 4 years, he/she is bound to fail the final exams.

Marriage complicate things? Then they are both jokers.

raumdeuter:
Some would argue that what does an additional certificate add to their current relationship? Would marriage stop anyone from playing the field or not?

Would lack of marriage/certificate stop anyone from playing the field?

raumdeuter:
Most male would marry because its what the female want. Left to them they can continue living together and building a family without the additional hassle of tagging it a marriage

interesting...

So they want the supposed benefits of marriage without getting married!

Hmmmm... why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?


Anyways, if the man & woman involved both want it that way, good for them.

To be quite honest, we have a lot of co-habiting couples who have grand kids sef.

bukatyne:
Well, they played for 10 years....

When a student roams about the campus for 4 years, he/she is bound to fail the final exams.

The lenght of dating has nothing to do with success of marriage or lack of. There have been people who knew themselves on friday married next weekend and are still together for decades. Some people were introduced by relatives, their dating was through letters they married and have been together for decades. Some of our grandparents even met their spouses on the wedding day. Yet we have people who dated for ages and still failed in marriage

Marriage complicate things? Then they are both jokers.
Would lack of marriage/certificate stop anyone from playing the field?

So what does the certificate add to the union?

interesting...
So they want the supposed benefits of marriage without getting married!
Hmmmm... why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Who told you its only in marriage that you get such benefits? All you need is an adult male and female who want to live together. If you and a guy move to say Abuja and live together now for the next 30yrs would anyone be asking for your wedding certificate to prove you are indeed married? You know many people in Nigeria and in the world just moved in with one another and 25yrs later they are still together laughing over "You know you didnt marry me officially" living their life

Anyways, if the man & woman involved both want it that way, good for them.

To be quite honest, we have a lot of co-habiting couples who have grand kids sef.

So are you going to say the couple in this bold are not legit because they dont have a certificate? whereas some people have certificates of marriage and havent seen each other in decades. Husband in Italy hustling, wife in Asaba flexing

There are things more important to a couple than that certificate. Compatibility, Living together and sharing experiences good and sad moments. if you have kids raising them together. All these can be done without a certificate

raumdeuter:


The lenght of dating has nothing to do with success of marriage or lack of. There have been people who knew themselves on friday married next weekend and are still together for decades. Some people were introduced by relatives, their dating was through letters they married and have been together for decades. Some of our grandparents even met their spouses on the wedding day. Yet we have people who dated for ages and still failed in marriage

Very true that's why I said they played for 10 years

Quality first.

raumdeuter:

So what does the certificate add to the union?

Well, as a Christian, it adds the required legality and right state for sex. certificate doesn't necessarily mean physical certificate because I doubt our fore-parents got a certificate after their ceremony.

Traditionally, our culture also frowns at if (if you are non-Christian)

raumdeuter:

Who told you its only in marriage that you get such benefits? All you need is an adult male and female who want to live together. If you and a guy move to say Abuja and live together now for the next 30yrs would anyone be asking for your wedding certificate to prove you are indeed married? You know many people in Nigeria and in the world just moved in with one another and 25yrs later they are still together laughing over "You know you didnt marry me officially" living their life

True

raumdeuter:

So are you going to say the couple in this bold are not legit because they dont have a certificate? whereas some people have certificates of marriage and havent seen each other in decades. Husband in Italy hustling, wife in Asaba flexing

Sadly, they are not legit because they are not 'legally' married. However, the legality or lack of has no bearing on the quality of their relationship.

raumdeuter:

There are things more important to a couple than that certificate. Compatibility, Living together and sharing experiences good and sad moments. if you have kids raising them together. All these can be done without a certificate

All these can be done without a certificate but why do I want to do them without a certificate when a certificate does not hinder me?

craziebone:
@sagamite, what do you think about this?

I am personally not a fan of marriage, but I am open to giving it to someone if it is that important to them.

They would need to prove to me they are worthy to be given it and they need to gaddamn sign a prenup.

If they can't do both, then "No marriage".

krak101:
So y wouldn't he want marriage yet wants things only owked by marriage... Abi he get spiritual wife

What are the things "only owned by marriage"?

lily12:
Nope.
Didn't even read the post, just the subject.
Women need to know their price. Stay where, for what? Does he understand what love is, to begin with? When you say he loves, you mean doing his part as he should. What other part would a man play except to make a woman out of you and show that he is willing to "forsake all others" and make you his wife?
Abeg.. kindly let him love from a distance and clear the doorway for someone serious.
I really get irritated when men want to have their cake and eat it and it's more upsetting when women fall for this.
Someone will love you and marry you. Wait for him.

What is "love"?

bukatyne:


Emmm bros....

Why would someone love you so much, want to be with you bla bla and not just get married to you?

I understand a man who just needs a bed mate with no strings not get married. In fact for such a man, marriage is a shackle to the kind of life he wants to pursue. Such a man if he requires kids can get a surrogate/baby mama/adopt.

What I do not understand is why a man loves a certain woman so much yet he doesn't want to be married to her.

What sort of relationship does he want to build with her that marriage will be a stumbling block to?

What stops them from living however they want to after the marriage? What stops them from getting kids the way they want after marriage?

I would be very wary of a man who claims to love me and me alone and not want marriage.

And I very much agree with you that a marriage proposal is not sure guarantee that a man loves his intended.

Why can't love be mutually exclusive from marriage?

Sagamite:


What are the things "only owned by marriage"?

sex,cohabiting and a host of other things Biblically and islamically

Sagamite:


I am personally not a fan of marriage, but I am open to giving it to someone if it is that important to them.

They would need to prove to me they are worthy to be given it and they need to gaddamn sign a prenup.

If they can't do both, then "No marriage".

where in God's name have you been?

Anyway, how does prenup work and what is a prenup?

Sagamite:


I am personally not a fan of marriage, but I am open to giving it to someone if it is that important to them.

They would need to prove to me they are worthy to be given it and they need to gaddamn sign a prenup.

If they can't do both, then "No marriage".

EfemenaXY:

Lol...don't be. It's good news instead. Saga is indirectly announcing to us he has finally found the 'one' he is willing to take to the next level. Just that his ego won't allow him announce properly.

Welldone Sagamite! So when am I getting my invite? When and where? Peckham or Sagamu? And what's the color?