Mpyaw:
My home is about to be shattered. Is it my fault that I couldn't give birth to a male child or am I God? My husband and I have been married for twelve years and we have four daughters. He doesn't really care about the sex of the children. He loves them and can spend his last kobo on them.
He is the first child and the only son of his family, in their clan their wives do give birth to a son as the firstborn, I'm the odd one out who has a daughter as the firstborn. My husband is not really bothered about that but his mother is on his neck to give her a son or marry another woman if I can't. My once loving mother-in-law now despise me like a flithy rag. The pressure is just too much and my husband has been forced to dance to their tune. He was on my side when all these started but now I'm alone in the battle.
I would have given child bearing another trial but my doctor warned me not to risk my life by getting pregnant again because I had my last two daughters through Caesarean Section and the last one was a little bit complicated, it was just God that saved me. I don't want to lose my man, my home to a strange woman out there. What do I do?

EfemenaXY:



Mtcheeew.

Nigerians and their cooked up stories. Shebi as at 10th March you were a single guy looking to enter a relationship with a girl? https://www.nairaland.com/2982752/finding-cinderella

And barely a week later you're a woman with 4 daughters, married for 12 years.

What utter nonesense. Better post the link to this copy 'n paste story of yours.

EfemenaXY:



Mtcheeew.

Nigerians and their cooked up stories. Shebi as at 10th March you were a single guy looking to enter a relationship with a girl? https://www.nairaland.com/2982752/finding-cinderella

And barely a week later you're a woman with 4 daughters, married for 12 years.

What utter nonesense. Better post the link to this copy 'n paste story of yours.

EfemenaXY:



Mtcheeew.

Nigerians and their cooked up stories. Shebi as at 10th March you were a single guy looking to enter a relationship with a girl? https://www.nairaland.com/2982752/finding-cinderella

And barely a week later you're a woman with 4 daughters, married for 12 years.

What utter nonesense. Better post the link to this copy 'n paste story of yours.

BluStreak:
This issue is a very sensitive one and begs for all understanding. The women of the days before supported their husbands when faced with this type of predicament, but today's women see it as a man being inconsiderate. This is Africa & we as Africans have some things that are peculiar to us. Unlike the West, having a male child who will take over the mantle from him forms among others the top desires of every man.

So support ur hubby on his desire to have a male child. Surrogacy is gaining ground now in Naija, or let him do the baby mama thinz. I won't support a new wife to avoid rivalry in a home you built over the years.

This is entirely my opinion which is my right whether it makes sense or not.

EfemenaXY:


Support him how, exactly?

You do understand that the sex of the child is determined by the male's mismatched XY chromosomes and not the female's matched XX chromosomes?? i.e. The man's Y chromosome yields forth the male child?

Biology 101.

BluStreak:


No doubt on the issue of men being the determinant as they carry the Y chromosomes that yields baby boys. You also might have the need to further your knowledge on the part played by a woman's PH level at the time of copulation and conception.

That there is the baabaa of them all.

Mpyaw:
My home is about to be shattered. Is it my fault that I couldn't give birth to a male child or am I God? My husband and I have been married for twelve years and we have four daughters. He doesn't really careabout the sex of the children. He loves them and can spend his last kobo on them.

He is the first child and the only son of his family, in their clan their wives do give birth to a son as the firstborn, I'm the odd one out who has a daughter as the firstborn. My husband is not really bothered about that but his mother is on his neck to give her a son or marry another woman if I can't. My once loving mother-in-law now despise me like a flithy rag.The pressure is just too much and my husband has been forced to dance to their tune. He was on my side when all these started but now I'm alone in the battle.

I would have given child bearing another trial but my doctor warned me not to risk my life by getting pregnant again because I had my last two daughters through Caesarean Section and the last one was a little bit complicated, it was just God that saved me. I don't want to lose my man, my home to a strange woman out there. What do I do?

EfemenaXY:


Even so.

You still haven't answered my question. How do you propose she she "supports" him?

BluStreak:


By allowing him realize his desire which is having a male child. With the support of the wife, they can go about it such that she will not have to share her home with another woman or worst case, loose it to another woman.

It can be achieved @EfemenaXY

Additional:
They should put heads together and get a surrogate mother. They can opt for gender selection procedure, use her own eggs etc. Or a cheaper method, paid baby mama.

EfemenaXY:


I still don't get you. Break it down.

You're proposing he plays the field, yes?

And she should sit there and just take it?

BluStreak:


Nooooo. I don't mean him playing the field. That will be too traumatising as she already has enough to grapple with. But with agreement, without the family's consent, they can opt for artificial insemination on a willing surrogate either using her own egg or the surrogates egg. It's as simple as that. Or agree with the man to get a willing lady to bear the child for them. Just one so they can have a son in their mix.

If the woman consents to it, it minimises the pain just like the men who urge their women to get pregnant from outside their marriage because they are incapable.

EfemenaXY:


And would you advocate such a man encourage his wife to do the same in search of a female child if he has issues fathering a girl child?

5minsmadness:

Na wa.
You like quarrel sha.
Read his last paragraph to you. It shows his view, although warped, is balanced.

@blustreak
It won't matter if they get a surrogate since the determinant of the sex of the child is from the male. As long as the man is the one involved he will most likely have another female child. The best bet is for both of them to agree for another man to impregnate his wife either through local surrogacy or IVF. The other man's sperm has a better chance of producing a male child than the husband's own.

Mpyaw:
Over time, I have known you to be some bitter man, don't take it out on me. I never said, I am a woman. its happening to my own sister. So, if you have a solution please drop it than attacking me.

EfemenaXY:


And would you advocate such a man encourage his wife to do the same in search of a female child if he has issues fathering a girl child?

BluStreak:


Men are known to have allowed their wife go out to get pregnant albeit secretly so they can have a child to call their own. Don't pretend like you haven't heard real life stories even if you haven't witness one. If men can stomach it, why cant a woman?

5minsmadness:

Na wa.
You like quarrel sha.
Read his last paragraph to you. It shows his view, although warped, is balanced.

@blustreak
It won't matter if they get a surrogate since the determinant of the sex of the child is from the male. As long as the man is the one involved he will most likely have another female child. The best bet is for both of them to agree for another man to impregnate his wife either through local surrogacy or IVF. The other man's sperm has a better chance of producing a male child than the husband's own.

greatgod2012:
If your husband has been dancing to their tunes, then, expect the unexpected.


But let's start here, are you independent, are you gainfully employed, if yes,then, when the unexpected happens, you can decide to either stay or leave, because, honestly, there is nothing or little you can do if he has decided to marry another woman because of male child/children.





However, if God will vindicate you and shame them all, he would marry another wife/wives, and they will all have female children only for him.


I have a friend whose father left their mum because she had only 4 girls to marry another wife who also had only female children, he also married the 3rd wife, same. To cut the long story short, the man had a total of 13 children and they are all female children.

Mpyaw:
My home is about to be shattered. Is it my fault that I couldn't give birth to a male child or am I God? My husband and I have been married for twelve years and we have four daughters. He doesn't really careabout the sex of the children. He loves them and can spend his last kobo on them.

He is the first child and the only son of his family, in their clan their wives do give birth to a son as the firstborn, I'm the odd one out who has a daughter as the firstborn. My husband is not really bothered about that but his mother is on his neck to give her a son or marry another woman if I can't. My once loving mother-in-law now despise me like a flithy rag.The pressure is just too much and my husband has been forced to dance to their tune. He was on my side when all these started but now I'm alone in the battle.

I would have given child bearing another trial but my doctor warned me not to risk my life by getting pregnant again because I had my last two daughters through Caesarean Section and the last one was a little bit complicated, it was just God that saved me. I don't want to lose my man, my home to a strange woman out there. What do I do?