If you loose your husband/wife ( died) . How will u handle it and how long will it take u to go into another relationship if you are still young.
open to all.

Why would I be thinking about that?

Consultant:

Why would I be thinking about that?

got that question today, want to put it out to see people's views.

Depends on if we have kids or not.
Depends on how great things were while she was alive.
However, will take a while, cos i will hope that we were lovers and best friends.

Fhemmmy:

Depends on if we have kids or not.
Depends on how great things were while she was alive.
However, will take a while, cos i will hope that we were lovers and best friends.

Fhemmy this is a very hard one. She has 2 kids and she is 37, being 3yrs now with out him. She think she wants to move on. But she is so scared to start.

I think 3 yrs is a fair amount of time

toytuns:

Fhemmy this is a very hard one. She has 2 kids and she is 37, being 3yrs now with out him. She think she wants to move on. But she is so scared to start.

i am so sorry to hear that.
She will have to dust herself and get back into the datng game, however, she needs to be very careful, cos it is important that she find a man that will love the kids and at same time be a great role model to the kids, and not just exposing the kids to different men.
But is it time for her to move on, cos every woman needs a man that will stand by her, and so is a man
Good luck to her

Fhemmmy:

i am so sorry to hear that.
She will have to dust herself and get back into the datng game, however, she needs to be very careful, cos it is important that she find a man that will love the kids and at same time be a great role model to the kids, and not just exposing the kids to different men.
But is it time for her to move on, cos every woman needs a man that will stand by her, and so is a man
Good luck to her

It will be so hard. I pray she realy meets a good man.
Men are sooooooo hard nowadays. Its hard to find a trustful one.

toytuns:

It will be so hard. I pray she realy meets a good man.
Men are sooooooo hard nowadays. Its hard to find a trustful one.

It is hard and sometimes easy too.
I think sometimes, the women might have to reduce the expectation a little and they will be fine.
Imagine a 45 years old woman that wanna marry a 30 year old with 5 packs and all that, still defining levels

As long as she feels comfortable enough not to start comparing her deceased hubby to her new partner, then she should give it a go.


Sometimes we wonder why it is sch good people that had to die, but who knows if God needed that person because of his goodness and felt it could be put to good use elsewhere . . .

Very sad indeed. When she feels ready and to tread carefully

With children then there is no need to rush as the children are the big responsibility. Nearly all children that are seriously abused are because they have a step parent. It takes a very very good man to accept them as his own. There cant be mistakes.

If however my husband died I would send his body home to Nigeria and never look at a relationship again.
Men are just too much trouble, especially these spoiled mummy's boys who think it is a virtue to shout and yell to get what you want.

How I miss my single life.

I don't even want to imagine

Its hard to say unless if Im in that situation (knock 3 times on wood)


I know in my culture, if our husband /wife pass away, we are not allowed to remarry. But if we want to, we cannot have a ceremony. Only marry based on papers.
But if my husband left, if I find someone it will surely take me more than 5 years than I can marry him cause of the court cases on divorcy and all other things

Gabry:

Its hard to say unless if Im in that situation (knock 3 times on wood)


I know in my culture, if our husband /wife pass away, we are not allowed to remarry. But if we want to, we cannot have a ceremony. Only marry based on papers.
But if my husband left, if I find someone it will surely take me more than 5 years than I can marry him cause of the court cases on divorcy and all other things

Why would u need a ceremony too if you wanna re-marry after losing your husband?

Exactly, as flambouyant as my tribe people are when it comes to ceremonies, i'v never witnessed a big wed ding between a man or woman marrying for the second time (be it death or divorce).
One of my uncles remarried after divorcing just exchanged vows in court, a far cry from his the initial elaborate wedding which diddnt last up to 3 years.

dominique:

Exactly, as flambouyant as my tribe people are when it comes to ceremonies, i'v never witnessed a big wed ding between a man or woman marrying for the second time (be it death or divorce).
One of my uncles remarried after divorcing just exchanged vows in court, a far cry from his the initial elaborate wedding which diddnt last up to 3 years.

It is a common sense now.
If it was due to death, then, that is understandable.

Fhemmmy:

Why would u need a ceremony too if you wanna re-marry after losing your husband?

Whether if its the 2nd or 40th wedding, theres always a big ceremony after the wedding in church. Its just our culture

Gabry:

Whether if its the 2nd or 40th wedding, theres always a big ceremony after the wedding in church. Its just our culture

ummmmmm.
What kinda culture is that?
They will keep doing church ceremony and elaborate thing?

@Gabry
seems like you just contradicted yourself in these 2 quotes

Gabry:

Whether if its the 2nd or 40th wedding, theres always a big ceremony after the wedding in church. Its just our culture

Gabry:


I know in my culture, if our husband /wife pass away, we are not allowed to remarry. But if we want to, we cannot have a ceremony. Only marry based on papers.

@poster
i would do whatever is necessary to get back on my feet and move on with life especially if there are kids involved.
as soon as the sexual urge would present itself then i would have no other choice but to go and get mine.
staying single and miserable after a spouse death is definitely not the way to go about and be sane because at the end of the day, you have to be right in your mind to continue going to work, and pay these bills and feed them kids so if i can go back to normal life in that department, i am sure i could do it in the dating department too.

frecklesnz:

With children then there is no need to rush as the children are the big responsibility. Nearly all children that are seriously abused are because they have a step parent. It takes a very very good man to accept them as his own. There cant be mistakes.

If however my husband died I would send his body home to Nigeria and never look at a relationship again.
Men are just too much trouble, especially these spoiled mummy's boys who think it is a virtue to shout and yell to get what you want.

How I miss my single life.

I feel u my dear sister.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
i would do whatever is necessary to get back on my feet and move on with life especially if there are kids involved.
as soon as the sexual urge would present itself then i would have no other choice but to go and get mine.
staying single and miserable after a spouse death is definitely not the way to go about and be sane because at the end of the day, you have to be right in your mind to continue going to work, and pay these bills and feed them kids so if i can go back to normal life in that department, i am sure i could do it in the dating department too.

true talk bro.

MRbrownJAY:

@poster
i would do whatever is necessary to get back on my feet and move on with life especially if there are kids involved.
as soon as the sexual urge would present itself then i would have no other choice but to go and get mine.
staying single and miserable after a spouse death is definitely not the way to go about and be sane because at the end of the day, you have to be right in your mind to continue going to work, and pay these bills and feed them kids so if i can go back to normal life in that department, i am sure i could do it in the dating department too.

Well said.