Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,011 members, 7,817,980 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 01:30 AM

For All Who Read And Write - Literature - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / For All Who Read And Write (883 Views)

Number Of Novels I Read, And The Number Bought With My Money / 50 Books To Read And Your Life Will Never Remain The Same / Read And Write Inspiring Stories Online (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

For All Who Read And Write by Lukandah00001(m): 1:27am On Mar 24, 2016
Got this from a friends Facebook page. Hope it's worth reading....


NO WONDER ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO TOUGH!!!

Four All Who Reed and Right
======================================

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat
is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it,
English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,
but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught,
why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down;
in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

~Author Unknown~

2 Likes

Re: For All Who Read And Write by Lukandah00001(m): 1:59am On Mar 24, 2016
I hope i did not wasee you time. That's if you read o....ehn ehn
Re: For All Who Read And Write by jericco1(m): 8:41pm On Mar 24, 2016
English is a unique and beautiful language.
Re: For All Who Read And Write by neuroneXY(m): 2:26am On Mar 25, 2016
LOL
Re: For All Who Read And Write by sexydale: 1:17pm On Mar 29, 2016
Wow, this is creativity at its peak...

(1) (Reply)

Now That Buhari Is Dead (satirical Piece) / Good Morning Mr President.. A Fictional Short Story / Facade:- A Story Of Love And Betrayal

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 12
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.