I suffered in my relationship and marriage in the past but I'm a survivor. When I was 24, I fell in lust with a man 15 years older than me. I was so naive, I believed everything he said to me, said he was going to divorce his wife and
marry me and I believed him, but in the meantime, that I should move into a small self contained apartment he rented for me around the outskirts. By this time I was already graduated and just got a job in Lag so my parents are not here and unaware of what's happening in my life. All they know is that their daughter is working in Lagos. When I started to send money regularly, I guess they just became thankful and suspected that my job was really really paying.

I happily moved into the lonely apartment and he never really divorced his wife but saved me from expensive house rent payments or so I thought. In fact 2 years later she divorced him when she got tired of his lies and late nights and fake trips. As soon as I moved into this rented apartment, the control started, I had to become what he wanted me to be, it was his way or nothing and I was so in lust. He looked for reasons to make me leave my job but that didn't work as he would tell me my job was too stressful and he didn't want any of that for me, that he could afford to pay me double my salary and that he wanted me to be home whenever he visited. In my journey of trying to please him I lost myself and became his no-brain-mistress all the way. In the 4 years that I spent in that relationship, I became more foolish, he controlled my finances and never allowed me to go back to school to read for my masters as planned. In fact he said it was ok not to do a Masters degree because he could comfortably take care of me and my kids when I agree to marry him.

2 years after we started the affair, his wife left him and he asked that I move him with him and you know what, in the period of this relationship I didn't even have friends anymore, I was completely lost in him and wated to spend every minute at home with him, I couldn't tell my parents and no friends to turn to for advise so I started staying longer, even spending weeks at his place because his wife had left with their 2 kids.
In the middle of all this I became pregnant and now really wanted him to go meet my parents and plan our wedding before anyone gets to know about the pregnancy but he kept on delaying until it was obvious and I had that baby out of wedlock and became his slave like play, like play.

He began to show the other side of him after I had my baby girl, he got angry once, left us at a hotel room with no money, we stayed till evening before he came back to check if I have learnt my lesson. I was pushed out of a car once for the mere reason that I attempted to argue his decisions. Not up to one year after I had my baby, I was forced to go for 2 abortions because I couldn't get pregnant again out of wedlock and he was in no hurry to go meet my parents who have at this time become frantic as to why I cannot travel home for Christmas or any other family events. My brothers were also worried but couldn't do much because I am the older one. I haven't told anyone about my baby, neither do they know I was living with a man. I tried my best to convince them that my job was very stressful and gave me no time for other things.

Eventually we went to Ikoyi registry and took his friends as witnesses. We are married be dat... but things never got any better in our relationship.

On the one time, he slapped me, it was so hard, it took my jaw out of place and until this day I still suffer from that injury at that exact same time every year. It went from worse to worser; We were somewhere, he introduced his friend to me and I shook hands with a smile, you won't believe he beat me up when we got back home, broke my eye glasses and accused me of making him do it. These were designer glasses and I had to make him spend his money to buy me new glasses with an apology. I suffered and suffered but continued to make excuses for myself, continued to find reasons and excuses why I cannot leave him.

On a Saturday morning in the cold Harmattan, We were exercising together and I couldn't do certain movements the way he was teaching me. my man got angry and impatient with me, I got pushed into the machine. My knee was injured and I had to go to the hospital, there I lied to the Doctors that I fell down the staircase. I could see from their looks that they didn't buy my story but what can they do?
He used to tell me very bad words like "I know I am making you the best wife but for someone else, because you are not for me"

I was dragged across the floor by my hair. I just remained silent and never fought him back just to avoid making my kid aware. When he asked for forgiveness, he would cry and if am not forgiving him, he'll get angry again and force me to accept that I'd forgiven him.
I am no longer a victim. I left him. My parents forgave me. If I came to the blog for advice, would you guys have asked me to stay?
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/ill-like-to-share-my-story-with-wives.html

You've already taken the decision, how do our advice matter?

mam, its not all problem we must face or endure, there are some that we just need to walk away from it

Men like dat ruin lives

I never ever wanna spend my entire life with men like dat

That makes u loose frnds nd ursef dats not fair

U dont dominate female lives its terrible such females are always terrible terrified nd dead inside

Men shd always try re consider u gonna kill a soul with dis *controlling attitude*

Once upon a little mistress . No man worth a thing will keep you as a side chic, you got served.

Yes if you'd come here we would have adviced you to stay. Divorce is a sin.

cococandy:
Yes if you'd come here we would have adviced you to stay. Divorce is a sin.

Babe you no read, they weren't even married. She had the man on hire purchase .

Twinkie8:
I suffered in my relationship and marriage in the past but I'm a survivor. When I was 24, I fell in lust with a man 15 years older than me. I was so naive, I believed everything he said to me, said he was going to divorce his wife and
marry me and I believed him, but in the meantime, that I should move into a small self contained apartment he rented for me around the outskirts. By this time I was already graduated and just got a job in Lag so my parents are not here and unaware of what's happening in my life. All they know is that their daughter is working in Lagos. When I started to send money regularly, I guess they just became thankful and suspected that my job was really really paying.

I happily moved into the lonely apartment and he never really divorced his wife but saved me from expensive house rent payments or so I thought. In fact 2 years later she divorced him when she got tired of his lies and late nights and fake trips. As soon as I moved into this rented apartment, the control started, I had to become what he wanted me to be, it was his way or nothing and I was so in lust. He looked for reasons to make me leave my job but that didn't work as he would tell me my job was too stressful and he didn't want any of that for me, that he could afford to pay me double my salary and that he wanted me to be home whenever he visited. In my journey of trying to please him I lost myself and became his no-brain-mistress all the way. In the 4 years that I spent in that relationship, I became more foolish, he controlled my finances and never allowed me to go back to school to read for my masters as planned. In fact he said it was ok not to do a Masters degree because he could comfortably take care of me and my kids when I agree to marry him.

2 years after we started the affair, his wife left him and he asked that I move him with him and you know what, in the period of this relationship I didn't even have friends anymore, I was completely lost in him and wated to spend every minute at home with him, I couldn't tell my parents and no friends to turn to for advise so I started staying longer, even spending weeks at his place because his wife had left with their 2 kids.
In the middle of all this I became pregnant and now really wanted him to go meet my parents and plan our wedding before anyone gets to know about the pregnancy but he kept on delaying until it was obvious and I had that baby out of wedlock and became his slave like play, like play.

He began to show the other side of him after I had my baby girl, he got angry once, left us at a hotel room with no money, we stayed till evening before he came back to check if I have learnt my lesson. I was pushed out of a car once for the mere reason that I attempted to argue his decisions. Not up to one year after I had my baby, I was forced to go for 2 abortions because I couldn't get pregnant again out of wedlock and he was in no hurry to go meet my parents who have at this time become frantic as to why I cannot travel home for Christmas or any other family events. My brothers were also worried but couldn't do much because I am the older one. I haven't told anyone about my baby, neither do they know I was living with a man. I tried my best to convince them that my job was very stressful and gave me no time for other things.

Eventually we went to Ikoyi registry and took his friends as witnesses. We are married be dat... but things never got any better in our relationship.

On the one time, he slapped me, it was so hard, it took my jaw out of place and until this day I still suffer from that injury at that exact same time every year. It went from worse to worser; We were somewhere, he introduced his friend to me and I shook hands with a smile, you won't believe he beat me up when we got back home, broke my eye glasses and accused me of making him do it. These were designer glasses and I had to make him spend his money to buy me new glasses with an apology. I suffered and suffered but continued to make excuses for myself, continued to find reasons and excuses why I cannot leave him.

On a Saturday morning in the cold Harmattan, We were exercising together and I couldn't do certain movements the way he was teaching me. my man got angry and impatient with me, I got pushed into the machine. My knee was injured and I had to go to the hospital, there I lied to the Doctors that I fell down the staircase. I could see from their looks that they didn't buy my story but what can they do?
He used to tell me very bad words like "I know I am making you the best wife but for someone else, because you are not for me"

I was dragged across the floor by my hair. I just remained silent and never fought him back just to avoid making my kid aware. When he asked for forgiveness, he would cry and if am not forgiving him, he'll get angry again and force me to accept that I'd forgiven him.
I am no longer a victim. I left him. My parents forgave me. If I came to the blog for advice, would you guys have asked me to stay?
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/2016/03/ill-like-to-share-my-story-with-wives.html

Yes, marriage is for better for worse. I would have asked u to stay.
Marriage is sacred, no man should put asunder, u did put an asunder. Even though the man is bad, u were the stroke that broke the camels back.


Have u asked his estranged divorced wife for forgiveness?

I will not blame the man for any reason, u knew he was married and u still went for him.

All those fake trips, late nights, lies and so many business meetings were all because of u.

I will not blame u though, I am just glad u learnt your lessons. Look for the wife and ask for forgiveness. Because the kind course this woman laid upon u, only her forgiveness fit lift am.

But you were the other woman naa....

you committed fonication, took another mans wife, abandon your family, committed abortion and your blaming everyone but yourself for your mistake and pretending to be the victim accept you fault and look for a new course for life in Christ asap.

byvan03:




Babe you no read, they weren't even married. She had the man on hire purchase .

I read o. Ikoyi registry marriage.

Just gave her the response that suits her situation.
Don't know how she felt the man will treat her well when she saw with her own eyes the way he was being an asss to his first wife.

cococandy:

I read o. Ikoyi registry marriage.

Just gave her the response that suits her situation.
Don't know how she felt the man will treat her well when she saw with her own eyes the way he was being an asss to his first wife.

OK dem marry? Thought she said something about having abortions because they weren't married, no mind me jare, I just dey skip the long tori.

cococandy:
Yes if you'd come here we would have adviced you to stay. Divorce is a sin

...

Your case is like a slave that loves her bondage and enjoys her abuse.

You actually deserve the disrespect since your violent pseudo marriage is more important than your goals /aspirations (masters degree ) had kids for an abuser.low self esteem and you still call him my man

You're one of the women who get turned on by violence

She deserves it.I haven't seen bimbos in a while

izospindle:
you committed fonication, took another mans wife, abandon your family, committed abortion and your blaming everyone but yourself for your mistake and pretending to be the victim accept you fault and look for a new course for life in Christ asap.

chigoizie7:



Yes, marriage is for better for worse. I would have asked u to stay.
Marriage is sacred, no man should put asunder, u did put an asunder. Even though the man is bad, u were the stroke that broke the camels back.


Have u asked his estranged divorced wife for forgiveness?

I will not blame the man for any reason, u knew he was married and u still went for him.

All those fake trips, late nights, lies and so many business meetings were all because of u.

I will not blame u though, I am just glad u learnt your lessons. Look for the wife and ask for forgiveness. Because the kind course this woman laid upon u, only her forgiveness fit lift am.