HOSTEL PROBS

1... Many people are not there to bag just one degree but two. A degree in their respective discipline and secondly but most importantly, the main degree that brought them to school -- BSC BG which stands for "Bachelor of Beggy Beggy".

That was how one strange guy ive never met in my entire life before trekked almost 50km all the way from( Casper Hostel to ask for the crayfish he gave me to keep for him in my hostel.
I just saw somebody with an agbada abi na singlet sef barge into our room and went straight to the point without much ado "I dey look for crayfish". I didn't answer him, I continued with what I was doing.
He now tapped me, "Bros, abeg you get crayfish wey you no dey use again"?

I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell him that the last time I saw Crayfish was in a Nollywood movie but behaved myself and calmly told him no.
Or is it the day one guy saw me frying egg while passing the hall way and went to buy bread on me and my egg's behalf.
I was about bringing down my carefully fried one-quater egg from the fire when I saw somebody at the door with fresh bread smiling.
Him: "Chairmoooo" raising both hands up, "I hail oh. How E wan be na"?
Me: Frowning my face "How wetin wan be"?
Him: Pointing at my egg and waiving his bread "I just say make we align"
Me: "Bros, abeg no vex. No be me get am. Na my roommate I help fry the egg.

He had this disappointed look on his face like I betrayed him or something, stared at the egg with this lustfull passionate gaze that at a point, I had to check if he had already mentally eaten my egg and left an illusion in the fry pan for me cos things dey happen these days.I was relieved when I scanned his lips and found no oil. He finished God knows what he was doing and left.

2... You ll learn how to cook pretty much everything with anything so far you have these three ingredients--kerosene, water, and hunger.

I came-in one day only to find my roommate preparing what he called "Water soup" and its really very simple to prepare. Put water on fire, allow it to boil, add salt, maggi, pepper and red oil shikena. I thought he was joking not until I saw him making eba for his alleged "water-soup" I knew he was really serious. I thought I had seen it all not until i went to visit my friend and saw his roomate eating Eba with what appeared to be "Beans porridge". I shock.

3... You ll learn that Nigerians are very very co-operative in times of need. It is only in the hostel you ll see somebody cooking one cup of rice, just one cup of rice and you ll be like

"My guy how far! that thing gggg" and just before you add "go reach me"?, he reads your mind and replies

"Guy, na 50 people contribute for this rice. The first 20 people bring ninety seed of rice each, 5 bring one-one teaspoon of red oil each, another 10 people bring 0.05 micro-grams of salt which in total weighed 0.5micro milligrams collectively, 8 people join had bring one cube of maggi, 6 people bring kerosene and na my stove we dey use.

4... You ll learn to be stingy. When I started my undergraduate journey, I was very benevolent. I was giving out things, food stuffs, provision and everything to friends and my roomates not until my village people decided to leave me alone for a while and my eyes became open like Adam and eve.

How many times I don make Eba wey my Garri wey remain small pass sachet cowbell? How many time I don drink tea wey milk wey remain no plenty pass the one wey dey old woman br.east?

Ladies and gentlemen, that was when I realised that to survive in the hostel, one has to be skinflint. Nowadays, even if you catch me dey fetch rice from my cupboard, I go tell you say na chinese beans and if the person say "but no be rice I dey see oh"? . I go reply"Guy, you get eye problem".

When you got to Rome, behave like the romans. If you cant beat them, joim them.

5... You ll learn that the normal way to use the the toilet is the abnormal way to use the toilet. I remember the first time I set foot inside

Continued

Bros,na from ksslib na him u steal this??!! ogbeniiii

BlueRat:
Bros,na from ksslib na him u steal this??!! ogbeniiii

Lol. No mind am, na so dem dey do.

@OP, dia is God oh. You even changed the name of one of my characters, Adekunle to Kobu kun abi na zobo sef.. Chai chai

OMG: this post made my day, thanks oo.had me rolling on the floor with laughter